On the Red Carpet: The Big Footloose Premiere

Of course it’s going to bomb, but I heartily welcome newcomer Kenny Wormald (top, left) into the Hollywood fold. It’s always nice to have fresh meat new faces to blog about. My 12-year-old niece just thinks he’s THE DREAMIEST, and she’s a pretty good judge of these things, so I predict BIG THINGS for my new honey-lover. The deranged FACES OF METH dude in the next picture is Tyson Ritter of The All-American Rejects, and he could not look less all-American and more terrifying if he had a crack pipe in one hand and a lead dildo in the other. Even putting his picture next to Kenny’s feels like blasphemy. It also makes for a rather interesting WHO’D YOU RATHER? Kenny with the Pepsodent smile or Tyson with the lead dildo?

Second row, first picture: Star Julianne Hough (I’ll never get used to saying that) looks adorable in her fancy romper. Andie McDowell (second pic) looks pretty fantastic, and given the fact that I despise her, and wish her nothing but crows feet and sagging boobs, that’s really saying something. I don’t know this Hunter Hayes person (bottom, left) but I’ll gobble him up if I ever see him on the street, HE’S THAT CUTE. Victoria Jackson (next to him) always looks like a forty-year-old woman to me, but I guess she looks great here. And then there’s the Tizz (bottom, right). Oh, Ashley. I miss your old face. You used to have CHARACTER. You used to have PERSONALITY. Now you just look semi-attractive, at best.

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