Now I’ve Heard Everything

TMZ is reporting today that… omg, sit down for this one…. that DEMI MOORE… no really, this is crazy, brace yourself… that DEMI MOORE… DEMI MOORE!!!…. was hospitalized the other day for… ARE YOU READY? DOING WHIPPETS. *record scratch* ….. wait, WHAAAAAAT? Whippets? What, is she a raver now? Sources say “one of Demi’s friends who was at her home told emergency workers Demi was doing whip-its.  A whip-it is a street name for a type of nitrous oxide inhalant. The friend said she became upset when Demi had a reaction to a whip-it and lapsed into semi-consciousness. It appears Demi had symptoms of a seizure – after inhaling the nitrous.” TMZ then gently adds “A whip-it is not a common drug among people of Demi’s age and social status.  It’s typically used by younger people who are looking for a cheap thrill.” Um, YES. MUCH YOUNGER. Like middle school kids at their first boy-girl party. That a 49-year-old woman is sitting around her mansion doing whippets is probably the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m starting to think she’s got REAL problems. And maybe she dated Ashton because she’s retarded, like, in the truest sense of the word. I think she’s got the mind of a ten year old.

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