Knife Writer

A typically Kentish Town scene. Donal says:

I took this photo yesterday. It's of three men on a bench.

It has been a bit of a weird week. We knew that the show was coming back for sure just a few days ago, so had to kick ourselves in to 'knife' gear ever so quickly. We went to Troy cafe in Kentish Town and watched a man eat two slices of bread with some tinned tomatoes on top, and then forced ourselves to come up with some ideas. Rainbow George we very much wanted to meet, and he was keen, but it was only after an item of dessert known as a 'Brown Derby' that we ended up deciding that 'finding Donal a date' could be a section of the show.

Anyway, so yes, it's been weird shifting our attention to knife stuff after quite a break. I'm pleased with the show, but it isn't our best. Hopefully for our next show, we'll be able to blow you away. I'm off to Greece now. Good bye.

Today, in the aftermath of show 1, we've spent our time hypnotically entranced by this man. Do not ever try this at home.

I presume we've all seen Steve Ballmer of Microsoft dancing like an idiot at a company event:

What's new is that someone at Microsoft mocked up the following as a joke ad for the Zune:

Pretty sweet if you ask me, but apparently it cost its creator their job. Shame.

With all the shows of Domino Rally one-upmanship that seem to be around at the moment, it's great to see someone struggling for a change. This guy has what looks like a pretty awesome set up, which he painstakingly shows us around.

He finally sets things off at about 1 minute in. And how!

Just re-discovered this gem from my mis-spent TV addict youth, and it blew me away. I've not seen an ad with this much impact for years, and the fact that it features a flabby, pale Englishman must surely explain some of the sympathy I have for it.

Whatever it is, I just can't seem to get enough and it certainly knocks all that Sony bouncy ball Bravia nonsense into a cocked hat.

We all love (ie hate) a film adapted from a video game. They are all great (ie extremely bad).

At least if they made Minesweeper into a movie it would be funny:

Next up - Solitaire: The Movie.

This is a video that caught my techie interest. It's a music promo for the band 'zZz' which recreates online video effects using just a trampoline and some bits of card.

My favourite bit? The man at the bottom painting the progress bar. Observe:

I like my TV as uncomfortable as I can get it, so today I bring you two prime examples of the genre.

First up, it's The Smiths frontman Morrissey on genteel lunchtime chatshow Pebble Mill at One. This little clip is really just astonishing on many levels, and brought back to me really how awful and over-earnest 80s TV could be.

My mate Dan sent me this, saying simply 'WTF?' I concur.

Next up is an early appearance by Matt Lucas and David Walliams as double act Mash & Peas on a late-night Paramount Comedy Channel chatshow from many years ago. To be honest, I don't think their sense of humour has really changed much.

After Donal's plea for pictures of people not wearing clothes (but instead wearing things that aren't clothes) last week, the entries have started arriving, jostling for a good featuring in next week's show.

Here are our favourites so far:

This is Emma... who's wearing plastic bags.

And that's Courtney... who's only wearing UNO cards and Monopoly money.

Just for the blog - here's an extra never-seen-before truly astonishing clip that we didn't feature in last week's knife because it's JUST TOO RUDE.

I very much suggest that you watch to the end.

Donal writes about tomorrow's forthcoming show:

"I came back from Greece with browner skin, hazy memories, and a left ear that didn't work. But, after spending Saturday recovering, we got to work on preparing a script for this week's Knife. I couldn’t hear many of Tim's suggestions however, because my ear didn’t work. But I pretended I could hear him, which seemed to satisfy him at least temporarily.

Tim stayed at my house on Sunday night. I wasn’t very comfortable about this, but we had a 'night-cap' consisting of gin and tonic, and then went to bed. The next day, filming commenced.

And so, two days later, and it is Wednesday. It has been a very 'meaty' show. Not because there is necessarily a lot more material in the episode, but because there is just a lot of meat in it. It’s not really a vegetarian’s ideal Knife.

Recollections from filming this week include: singing in a jazz venue last night dressed in very little (other than meat). Going to Brixton market to buy human hair. Pissing off my mother because there was meat left all over her kitchen table. Pissing off my friend Sarah because I left a pair of pants covered in meat in her bathroom.

I hope you like it."

Another flash-back from my childhood courtesy of this classic Catchphrase blooper, which actually aired on telly. Roy Walker does his best, but clearly can't rescue the audience from their own smutty minds.

If you've seen this week's show, then you'll have realised it's a bit of a meat frenzy. So how better to relax and regain your composure after watching it than with a Meat Cocktail.

By combining the refreshing qualities of alcohol with the, well, meaty nature of meat, you should be just about able to get over the meaty carnage.

Brian Blessed is more than a man, or less than a man, depending on which way you look at it. Whatever, he's one of the most entertaining people alive. Grrrr.

(via b3ta)

What's that? You want more?

ps. sorry the show isn't up yet... technical issues you understand... it'll be there in no time.

Have you always wanted to write a novel, but can't be bothered to think of more than a few lines?

Well, believe it or not - we're starting a project in conjunction with Luke Rhinehart (author of astonishing book The Dice Man) that might just be what you're looking for. Watch this:

You heard the man. Have a look at a few of the video responses on YouTube by going here, and then respond to one of them with an ingeniously poetic line. And let the chain commence.

If this catches on, we'll be editing down story strings and posting them up on WOW TV. Don't let us down... RECORD A LINE NOW! As if you needed any inspiration, here's one of Donal's attempts:

All you need to do this is a webcam and access to youtube! Go on! NOW!

That is all. (via boingboing)

I find myself in complete shock and confusion today - turns out that the man who wrote that he would call his newest child Spider-pig on the proviso that 100,000 people joined his facebook group is actually a pansy liar. The confusion lies with myself... that I actually thought it was true. Oh woe.

His apology is astonishingly flimsy:

"This was never more than a couple of bored geeks kicking around an idea... I however am no Numa Numa or Chocolate Rain."

Today I stumbled across the Norma Lee Show. It surprises and enchants me.

Norma is a singer by trade. Which you may find pretty astonishing if you watch the following video from about 50 seconds in.

Let's get her on the show. Too.

Donal still can't remember how to post to the blog, so he's asked me to post this for him:

You may notice at the start of this fortnight's episode that I look incredibly tired. That's because myself, Tim and Will had, at that point, been up for 24 hours - filming and editing the show.

You had better enjoy this episode, because it really did ruin us. The 'Luke Rhinehart' section is pretty complicated, and perhaps my numerous character appearances will get a little tiresome for you. But at least you got to have a nice sleep.

By the time I did get to have a sleep, I couldn't, because I had ingested (along with a lot of the residents of Kentish Town) far too much cheese.