Knife Writer

I hadn't heard from Donal for a few days, and then someone sent me this video. Oh Christ.

An astonishing bit of Engrish sent in by Paul. "Nampa," by the way, is merely chatting up ladies, and not prostitution at all. Not sure what's so wrong about that, and actually I'd imagine that if people were hanging out weave their magic, they'd actually end up buying loads more of your product. But then people are different over there.

Well I never - someone's compiled some of the scenes from the 1957 film Zero Hour! along with the Leslie Nielson classic Airplane!, to prove that the latter is merely a scene-for-scene rip-off of the former. It shocked me, anyway.

Politics is pretty dry, really. But it's interesting how politicians try to dress it all up for the web as just a bit of fun. Cos that's all people who use the internet want.

We've covered WebCameron thoroughly in the past, so I'm sure you know our opinions on that.

And I'm also sure you've all seen Hillary Clinton judging entries for her campaign song competition, but here it is again anyway:

But the worst thing I've seen so far on US Presidential Campaign web-trail is Barack Obama's mobile page.

Where there's quite a selection of ring tones. Being inclusive types, they've give us a variety of styles. Here's a selection:

1. Plain Hip Hop-style Chanting - "Letter to Obama"

2. Samples of his speeches over a variety of beats:

a. Hip Hop

b. "Alternative"

c. Rock

3. And my favourite: sinister electro (kinda reminds me of a cross between Felix Da Housecat and Detroit Grand Pubahs). There are 3 of these creepy buggers:

"On Healthcare"

"End the War"

"2002 Speech Remix"

My latest web celeb find is a boy with a ridiculously low voice, who sings a song called "Chocolate Rain," which is all about about how ridiculously low his voice is.

At least, I hope that's what it's about.

Those stalwart fans of thisisaknife may well remember the robust Susan Hickey, who presented the show along with Al Sutton, Rachna Suri and Donal over the its formative months. I haven't seen her in a year. So imagine my shock when I tune into Mobuzz TV , one of the internet's classic videoblogs. Bloody hell.

If you can't quite remember Susan, I've uploaded a show to jog it:

Came across this video of a young lady dancing to Daft Punk's 'Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger':

And it made me teary-eyed with nostalgia for the YTMND 'Works It' fad of yesteryear, where such pop culture icons as Mr T, Dr Strangelove, The Dude and, er, Hitler danced themselves silly to the same track, using the miracle of the animated GIF.

(Actually, I always thought this one knocked all that Daft Punk stuff into a cocked hat. But anyway...)

There's also an inexplicably popular video of someone hand-dancing to the same track:

And even good old Kanye West is getting in on the act, in predictably pompous style:

But none of them quite beat a good old YTMND for sheer hypnotic, jerky repetition.

Well, I finally found that Reebok ad that Beardyman was in a few months ago. Here's the 60 second version:

And, for you Beardy completists out there, here's the 30 second version:

Be warned, he only appears at the start and end for about 2 seconds, but any Beardyman is good Beardyman in my book.

And here's a more casual Reebok promo with him beat-boxing over the first half:

Saw this (which, surely, is the best straight-faced acting ever):

Reminded me of this (classic 'Carry On...' action):

Same man did this advert (which I've never seen before):

And also featured in this (which, like a lot of British culture in the 90s, defies a ready explanation):

You've got to ask why people haven't use the word muthafucka to get kids to read a book before. About time.

Jack White is clearly a believer that it's always best to do something rather than nothing. So, in the finale of the White Stripes' attempt to play every Canadian province and territory, they managed to get away with only playing one note. People didn't seem to mind.

Normally, misheard lyrics would be a thing of the internet's dark past. But this one's good.

Also of interest today: a periodic table of the Internet. I'm not going to pretend to understand it.

Via Donal:

I'm not sure if the whole film incorporates this 'language' but I bloody hope so. It's like the Tellytubbies but with real people.

Man and woman live with hippo in house. Hippo is regarded as their child. No further comment required.

That is all.

Donal's father, as we all know, looks like this:

He has appeared in thisisaknife once, and uttered the words, 'and how did you make this?'

So it was of great interest to me to hear of a competition established by the Oxford Mail entitled 'Drawing Daddy', where children are encouraged to pen a picture of their father.

Abbie Axtell's father looks like a character in Oliver Twist:

And Aaron Botley's dad wears a green dress and has a blue face:

I'd like to meet Corey Sharkey's Dad though:

And I never realised Donal shared a father with Daniel Lancaster:

Just noticed this pretty sinister 'game' on the EastEnders website.

Strange that it's considered a game, considering it's called 'Walford Death Map'. And consists entirely of scrolling through grainy portraits of the fictional dead.

But at least it's complete - the very first of Walford's Ghosts is Reg Cox (pictured above) who only ever appeared in the first episode. As a corpse.

What are you doing a week on Thursday? I'll tell you what you're doing...

Most graffiti is pretty lame. Here's a site that presents the few worthy of risking a night in the slammer.

When we posted this, little did we know how big it could become. There have now been so many parodies and tributes, that Chocolate Rain can now safely be considered an internet fad.

This is my favourite - a skillful rendering of the Chocolate Rain theme into the classic 8 bit idiom:

With West Ham facing demotion from the Premiership, this devoted fan couldn't bare going the game himself, and so watched it on the telly instead. While his mate filmed his reactions. And then cut them together later to show how football mad this man really is.

I particularly enjoyed the intermittent chanting.

A man who makes use of a skateboard, his roller-trainers, a pair of crutches and a degenerative hip condition, very well.

And it's RJD2's new video.

We promise this is absolutely the last post about 'Chocolate Rain', but just wanted to point out that there's an interview with the deep-voiced marvel who sings it, Tay Zonday, here.

Oh Lord - another public access goldmine. David Liebehart's show has distinct similarities with Let's Paint, Exercise and Blend Drinks, but is possibly even more likely to give you twisted nightmares.