Knife Writer

Admittedly stolen from Adam Buxton's treasure chest of his favourite youtube videos, but here it is anyway. It's an animated series called 'The Pod', and stars Julian Barratt of The Mighty Boosh, and was made about 5 years ago. I think you'll like it - especially for the music video towards the end which features, quite simply, a lot of clowns.

I'm afraid to say that everything you've ever watched on television is fake. Proof below.

We need more of this sort of thing on YouTube

It was only an amount of time, but I have to say that it's an extremely professional effort. Not for the squeamish.

It might not get a Laurel laughs, but I find this ever so sweet.

Just suddenly occured to me that Hardy (in the entry below) resembles (a bit) one of my favourite comedians, TIM KEY. I hereby present two photos of him. One mildly afraid:

And one bedraggled:

And so below, is Hardy... (Donal)

A rare picture of what goes on behind the scenes at Knife. Tim basically looking shattered and manic. All for the sake of a silly little "vlog". (This is Donal typing by the way, even though this blog entry will say that it has been done by Tim).

Oh by the way, thanks to everyone who signed the "Thisisaknife for E4" myspace group started up by Danny and Chris! Please note, also, that it is listed under the category: 'Religion and Beliefs'. Very good.

Cat searched for this phrase this morning. And it became clear that Google was a sexist. Astonishing.

Even more sexism today: noble astronomer and gamesmaster Patrick Moore has told the country that the BBC is going downhill. Because of all the women.

Says Patrick:

"I used to watch Doctor Who and Star Trek, but they went PC - making women commanders, that kind of thing. I stopped watching... I would like to see two independent wavelengths - one controlled by women, and one for us, controlled by men."

The BBC says that his "forthright" views are "what we all love about him," but they'd probably be happier if he just shut up and played the xylophone. (thanks Matt)

Have a click on the above picture to admire a bit of accidental marketing from the Radio Times homepage today... They've changed it now of course. (Thanks to Jody for this one)

With Eurovision just around the door, I was pleased to find this: East 17's Brian Harvey, with the song that he failed to beat the atrocious Scooch with (to be the UK entry this year).

Harvey, of course, recently ran himself over with a car after eating too much baked potato. The presenter tried to comfort him after this performance, but even he admitted that it was appalling. Just remember: vote Ukraine on Saturday.

Remember that poster I spotted on a window of the Oxfam shop in Kentish Town? Well my flatmate's girlfriend spotted another interesting poster-on-shop-window. This time in Leyton. I wonder if they sell anything else..

This is old hat, but still funny. Anyway, I really think the lead character, 'David Blaine', resembles my friend (and genius - but not 'my' genius), Rizwan (who was responsible for the amazing post 9/11 Blues). So, anyway, here is the 'David Blaine' character:

And here is Rizwan:

Here's Part 2 of the David Blaine Street Magic sketch, which I think is hilarious, thank you very much:

Well you should have remembered a TV parody sketch we did a while ago called "Doing It For the Kids", where parents and children exchanged sex tips with each other through the medium of their own sex tapes..If not, here it is again:
Well BBC 3 must have seen that sketch, as they've come up with a real life series called "Sex - with Mum and Dad", which starts tonight. Problem is, it looks rubbish, and is just a typical example of the BBC using a dodgy title (with little actual substance) to bring in the punters.
Views on the trailer (posted on YouTube) include:

It can only be a matter of time, though, before something akin to 'Doing It For the Kids' is commissioned. Anyone wish to put themselves forward?...

I have a confession. I find this funny:

Problem is, my mind is so warped at the moment that I have no idea whether it's abuse, or just a bit of good, old fashioned, dressing-animals-up-for-a-laugh.

I laughed a lot when I watched this on the b3ta website just now. Laugh along with me please:

I went to Devon at the weekend, and saw this bin (among other things, like The Sea). But it struck me that the stick man looks like he's attempting to be very flash.

But being flash and putting something in a bin doesn't tend to happen in real life, really.

This woman, Jodie Marsh,

wants to marry somebody. Oh dear.
I think I might go to the "auditions" anyway.
I am pretty certain I am "THE ONE".

Thankings go out hugely to this guy for letting me know about the girl called Priscilla who raps the words of the Dictionary, but in her first attempt, only got as far as "acidulate". But the Dictionary is very big. Here, then, is her second stab - from "acidulate". And something does appear after after 3:32. A little unexpected.

Here is another very cool thing of hers. "Smile" by Lily Allen, sung in "Simlish" (the language used in The Sims computer game...)

This camel, called 'Goliath', has a rare orthopaedic condition which means he must wear specially designed shoes to help him walk.

Or maybe he just really wanted those shoes.

Yes, it's that time of year again. Well, soon. Last year we visited the London branch of the Masturbate-a-Thon, and created a piece of footage that has unsurprisingly become far, far more popular than any of the rest of our YouTube videos.

Anyway, it's on in San Francisco on Saturday if you're interested. If you're nearby, please go and film it and send us what you shot (the footage that is). Some Cadbury's chocolate for anyone who does.

If you can't turn up - it's OK! As now you can masturbate in the comfort of your own home, while watching a live video feed of the whole squirming party. Lovely.

There's even a new event this year:

Longest Squirt Distance. An area of the porn palace will be set up so that participants can compete for longest squirting/ejaculation distance. This will be a mixed gender event and whoever goes the fluid distance wins!

So Liverpool lost the Champions League Final last night, which is a great shame, although it did cause me to remember "The Anfield Rap", performed by the Liverpool team in 1988. I was a big fan of Liverpool then, although I was very small, and can remember this quite incredible song to this day. It is unbelievable.

All I remember of the Open University on BBC2 is sitting ill on my sofa watching men with beards. Not happy times. Nevertheless, I was pleasantly surprised to see this winging its way round youtube, not least to remind me how slow television used to be. (Thanks, Matt)

At risk of being one of those annoying shandy-drinking kids-TV-reminiscing cardigan-wearing arses... my day has been brightened by the selection of Green Cross Code adverts popping up on YouTube recently, and I thought I'd share them with you.

The all time classic must surely be John "Gummidge" Pertwee's completely unmemorable catchphrase. The amazing thing is that it seems that they came up with it before they even started working out what the acronym was, given the extremely poor justification for the letter 'i'.

Then there's Alvin Stardust. No surprise that he recently starred as The Child Catcher.

And finally a really crap one involving a poor actor and a pretty unjustified machine.

Oh no! Tim Henman just crashed out of the first round of French Open. But it's OK! As although we're balls at tennis, the French make absolutely awful comedy. See below.

Oh, hang on, he was beaten by a Latvian. Ah well.

As I thought – with thisisaknife dormant so long, someone had to make a vodcast that was worth something. And someone has. He's called Chris, it's called Cute With Chris, and while the following video of Chris reciting the lyrics of T-Pain is what has made him web-famous:

...I have to say the rest is even better. Just have a look at this one, posted (episode 123), a few days after his T-Pain one:

Good. A Ze-Frank in the making.

Head Doctor notified me of this boy who builds cars made out of lego without using any instructions and then crashes them in to one another whilst playing classical music. Here's one such video:

You might want to take a little look at Head-doctor's youtube page. He's been to Turkey recently, is thinking about making head-doctor condoms, and is currently practising the art of extreme scanning.

I did a lot of gymnastics at my All Boys Prep School (that wasn't the name of the school, just a description), dressed in a little lycra suit, which I think appealed more to the teachers than to our little bodies. But I was never that good, and hated, in particular, jumping (which didn't help me get any better at gymnastics). These boys, however, are good. And I am in awe.