Knife Writer

As if this Monday wasn't confusing enough.

This video is titled "0328a," as if it's one in a huge array of swan-based clips. I hope I never find the rest. (Too late - I found them)

Remember how, last year, our vampire correctly predicted the success of metal underdog Lordi in the Eurovision Song Contest? No? Here it is:

Well, it's time again we put our mouth where the winner is, and this time that man woman person is Verka Serdyuchka. All you need to know is that Verka's entire act is a stereotype of a Ukranian villager... one that's so close to the bone that there's a huge camp trying to ban him(?) from going to Helsinki to compete at all.

The thing is, there's a sneaking suspicion in the Ukraine that Verka might win. And given how weak most of the entries are, not to mention the UK's embarrassment of Scooch (Fearne should have shut up about Terry's mistake), we're backing the wacky underdog too. You mark my words.

(Just for completeness, though - the country tipped to win by bookies is Sweden with this swingin' pop-rock travesty. Uuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrgggg.)

With over 15 computers being refreshed every 10 seconds, and having woken up at 8am on Sunday, I just about managed to get Glastonbury tickets. But what was the point? Because instead of paying 150 quid to see a tiny Björk 300 meters away, I should have just gone to YouTube and found this quite astonishing video of her singing 2 Unlimited in some bar last month. Brilliant.

I was going to post something Easter related, but I'm not sure how to link a man who can ingest and regurgitate light-bulbs on command. He's open for bookings now.
Lookie here.

While I'm not really the sort of person to post videos that have already had 3 million views, (I only just saw that Alanis Morrisette video the other day), I thought it was only right to show you the video of Alexander Overwijk drawing a perfect circle. Let's just say it's because it's started an internet craze of crappy videos of people drawing crappy circles and having a laugh about it.

Laz D, the newest addition to the internet's list of 'aspirational heroes' is being tip-toed around very carefully.

He's a rapper. He's from Oregon. And he has Down Syndrome.

Have a look at Laz D's MySpace and you'll find all his latest hits including Girlfriend, which begins with the genius rhyme: "Baby / please be mine / I want you / all of the time."

A pleasant T-Shirt design soon to be sported by Donal, mixing one of my favourite things with one of the internet's. On that subject, a photo of his new hair is soon coming... (via boingboing. The story, not the hair photo)

I was most intrigued to hear today that a license to use the Little Britain format was sold to the most unlikely buyers - Russia. In Nasha Russia ("Our Russia") they stick with the logo and voiceover, and very much continue in the same vain of base humour. But we at the Knife do believe the Russian dialect to be eminently watchable, so here are a few choice clips:

In this one here, a builder hilarious makes a door too short. A tall man cannot get through. Hilarity ensues.

Then in this one we see the only gay in the village, who in Nasha Russia is the only gay milling machine operator in Chelyabinsk.

And the below one not only makes the Little/Nasha parallels obvious, but there's a man who touches a woman's tit.

While this video showing new USB technology is reasonably impressive, I can't help thinking there's something wrong... (via b3ta)

While we're usually not the sort to go around heralding Channel 4 programmes above all others (maybe we should be. perhaps this is why we're not on TV yet.), one that's coming up and is worth a look is Fonejacker... Our interest lies in the fact that they've set up a myspace page well before it goes on air, complete with a youtube channel showing a whole assortment of clips. Here's hoping they do all too well.

Donal (me) got a free haircut from a trainee person at Vidal Sassoon. She refused to cut my hair in the style of Hitler, a Roman boy, Saddam Hussein or Sandi Toksvig. I think she tried to give me something cool. I would have preferred the Roman boy look.

Yo. Remember when we talked about LazyTown and just how catchy the song about baking a cake was? Well I've just started to wonder just why I am drawn (in an EMOTIONAL WAY ONLY) to the eight year old girl who is the main singer.

And I think I've found the reason. It's because she resembles both Scarlet Johanssen in Lost in Translation,

and Natalie Portman in 'Closer'.

I know. All this sounds vaguely incriminatory.

Everybody loves Jeremy Paxman - except, of course, the people he interviews. There's a video of him interviewing ex-UN Ambassador John Bolton doing the rounds at the moment, and he's also got tough with the redoubtable George Galloway.

But he's not all serious.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Seeing Playstation's new advertising campaign made me think we could do the same with Donal's face... click on the above image to have a read about it. See the image below for our new campaign.

If people send us holiday photos to knife@worldofwonder.co.uk, we'll create a whole gallery of spooky Coonan sightings.

Funny Will Ferrell and his 'comedy partner' Adam McKay have launched their own online video site exclusively for comedy. And it doesn't even matter whether the stuff you upload is funny or not, because all the unfunny clips get sent to a section called The Crypt, so all you fans of crap comedy can browse a big dungeon full of balls.

No news on whether 'Blades of Glory' is in there yet, but here's their most popular clip so far, staring Ferrell and McKay.

Following on from yesterday's post about Jeremy, I here present something I made a while ago, on a similar theme.

Not quite up there with Adam Buxton yet, but it's all right. Take note of "Lay" in particular.

More Mario fun, my friends. This time, a video of a man trying to play possibly the hardest customised level of Super Mario Bros ever created.

But seeing him fail isn't the funniest bit - it's all in the commentary. Persistent failure never sounded so funny.

Best quote is at 11:07.

Like the MacBook, Google is now available in black. And not only does it look good, but it saves money too, by cutting the amount of electricity your monitor uses.

And web-based climate concern doesn't stop there - if you're a web designer looking to cut your Carbon Footprint, then Jon Doucette has developed a web palette (below) which again shrinks your energy bill.

Shame it looks so boring, but sacrificing pretty to save the planet is a small price to pay.

Feeling unwell? You're not alone. I had a dream last night about being really ill, to wake up feeling only marginally less ill.

We've been messing round with Google Maps recently for secretive secret reasons, and so I was double impressed to see whoissick.com, an entire smorgasboard of interactive illness, so you can track diseases as they spread like that virus in 24 series 3. I'm not really sure how this is useful, but it does look pretty.

ps. if you're reading this post as you thought the title alluded to it containing sick, disgracefully wrong, confusing porn, you're in luck. Will found some. Click here, unless you're at work, home, or anywhere really. I'm going to say it again... NSFW!

Factory farming has obscured, if not completely severed, the link between the things that walk around in fields and the things that sit next to potatoes on a nice big plate.

Buon Appetito!

As an ex-mathematician and a recent home-owner, Richard Hodges Real Estate Roller Coaster tickled my fancy on two fronts.

Essentially, he took the inflation-adjusted US House Price data and made a roller-coaster out of it. And here it is, taken from his SpeculativeBubble.com blog:

Not too shabby, though it'll have a far more exciting finish when prices do finally collapse. And I'm bankrupt.

Whatever my objections to the merge between advertising and 'hilarious' youtube clips, I just can't help but find this clip incredible, maybe because of the extremely self-concious manner Mountain Dew is shoe-horned in. (And to be fair, we did try that sort of thing ourselves a while back. And also, the new Snickers campaign is brilliant)

Here's the thinking:

* The Kids don't like poetry.

* The Kids like rap.

* The Kids like funny, funny internet videos.

* The Kids find animal costumes real funny.

Footnote by the famous Matt Edmonds, who sent this link in: "Before Wordsworth's sister suggested a change in lyric, the poem's first line was 'I wandered lonely as a cow'..."

I haven't eaten a penguin for ages. But I made this a while ago. My friend Riz did the singing. (He was in this episode of knife as well).

Remember all the movie trailer re-cuts? Of course you do. There's even a daily blog now.

Well, my guess is that the next fad on the same vain is re-voicing adverts. The latest one of these is the picture loans ad, in which an over-enthusastic 'classic uber-mom' organises her family with military precision whilst organising them all cut price loan.

There are various other tries but this one is deffo the best:

In the 80s, in one of the most astonishing series of films I have even darted my eyes near, a Filipino called Weng Weng fought crime in a way only an 80s cop knew how. Now a group called The Chuds have written a tribute.

As a guess to why this is of interest, he played played 'Secret Agent 00' in the film named For Your Height Only...

Sometimes the simplest things are the best. Time, ladies and gentlemen, for a cheap laugh.