Knife Writer

Hope you enjoy(ed) today's short show. But that's in the past now. Let us think about the next stage of development. We've got an idea of having this man below (a psychologist called Ivor D Greeinhealth) analysing home footage that he can find on the internet. We've already done some filming and it's funny. But he needs some more home footage. Have you got any? Literally anything - however boring - will be feasted upon by those glasses and eyes of his. Send it in. We'll have fun.

The address, as always, is knife@worldofwonder.co.uk.
More confessions as well! Father Coonan will involve himself in the sinning of the best ones, and pronounce judgement on your evil.
Thankyou. Halleluyah, and Maundy Thursday.

..the most boring vlogs I could find today. The thing is, they still make compulsive viewing. First, there's this man from Scotland; watch out for the bit when he talks about his old gaming friend coming up to Edinburgh, where they will probably get a pub lunch. Amazing:

Then there's this one, where a few men are off to carphone warehouse to purchase a new phone. There's something about grandpas and mobile phones that makes me laugh, so that's why this video appeals. You might hate it.

Mobile Phone Trip

Just trying to come up with ideas for little 'interstitials' between clips that we use on thisisaknife, so I went looking for old school ones on youtube. I found some. But then my attention was drawn towards BBC 'closing down' clips. Have a look at this:

Interesting the sombre BBC man's voice followed by a rather hallucinogenic snowflake.
It made me realise just how much rainbows and drugs have played in TV:

And in adverts:

If you find some good, random, old school clips - especially of interstitials, or late-night 'closing down' bits, let me know!

I listened to this song about 5 years ago, but couldn't really keep up. So it's just as well there's this video to assist me...

Here's a section from our pilot that you might like. We were really interested in the youtube 'opinion' pieces that people do, and thought that therein might lie some potential for comedy. You be the judge as to whether we were right:

We were alerted to a trend on YouTube by a lovely friend of the show called Chelsea.. and she's found a corker. Jay Brannon played one of the men in the film 'Shortbus,' which was incidentally the most sexually explicit film ever released in the UK and included a scene in which a man sung the star spangled banner into Jay's behind. But Jay's talent is really singing, and he decided to play the song he performed in the movie on youtube:

Maybe it was that there's quite a lot of speaking at the start. Or the fact that Jay sings it in a toilet. But anyway, his video struck a chord, and now there are hundreds of video replies of toilet related singing.. here, here, here and here for starters. But my favourite is this one.

Two little mobile phone videos. The first one I filmed. It's of Tim, who produces thisisaknife, and in this clip he does not realise that I am sitting opposite him for the duration of the tube journey.

The second one is filmed by my friend Riz (we featured him a while back, with his "post 9/11 blues song). The main subject of the film though is my flat mate - a certain Oliver Harvey. He's training to be a doctor. In his final year. Would you trust him?

Lordy, I saw this video today and knew it had to be on thisisaknife. But I have no idea where it comes from, and for it to be featured I must know. Any ideas?

...secretly hypnotise your lover into being an adult baby to fulfil your darkest fantasies. Nappies not included.

Oh, and speaking of nappies, you'd think this woman would know better.

Remember that episode where we ordered some food at a McDonalds' drive-thru? Well check this out. I'm loving it.

Here's another section from our pilot episode. Tell us what you think. Might change it a bit. Like get rid of Donal's little glance just before Shane Lee starts singing. It might be setting up the joke in the wrong way. But whaddayareckon?

Two videos for you. Neither of them are meant to be a joke. One is by the Hungarian rapper 'Speak', who is very much anti-war:

And another by the 'Right Brothers' who, with their song 'Bush Was Right', clearly disagree with Speak. As my friend Matt said, watch out for the line "France: Wrong".

This place is near where I live. It's called the Mahatma Gandhi Industrial Estate. For that reason alone, I want to make a short film about it.

If anyone else has any other ridiculous-contradiction-in-terms place names that could form a part of this very tentative film plan, let me know.

I met this woman when I was walking across Britain. She loves her parrot. The boy who keeps coming in is her grandson, but, as you will notice, she has far more love for her parrot. Claaaaaaaaaap!

As if asking for confessions wasn't enough, there's another section of the show that I'd really like your help with. We've been inspired by a doctor putting a boot on his head to create an internet trend of the same kind. I'm writing this to ask you to take a photo or a bit of video of yourself with your boot, or your shoe, resting on your head. We're making a little music video, and we need as many of your lovely faces (and footwear) as possible. Can you do that? Pweeease! Send your stuff to knife@worldofwonder.co.uk. Thankyou!

Not everyone is worried about the Internet gradually eroding our personal freedom and stockpiling private information about ourselves; this man has handed out his mobile phone number to the world.

I tried to phone him last night because I want to get him on the show, but he was engaged. In an interview of him that I watched, he did say that he loves receiving calls from the UK, because they always contain the word 'cheers'.
If you do manage to get through to him, can you tell him to give thisisaknife a call, please?

It's only minutes after our request, and we've already got 2 boots on heads. These are good, and we need MORE. The more boot in the photo, the better.

Sorry we've not been posting stuff the last couple of days. We've been filming a rap battle and then a phone call to that American man who stupidly gave out his mobile number to everyone in the whole world. But Head-Doctor, the guy who wrote Donal's wikipedia entry, has helped us out with this pretty amusing video.

Check Head-doctor's blog for more random amusement.

Ah, those Apple adverts. When I saw the Mitchell and Webb ones, I nearly wept.

But from weeping to whetting...to whet your appetite a little for tomorrow's show which we are busily editing now (how else should one spend valentine's day?), here's a little screen shot of a parody we did of those adverts..

And here's a parody made by a guy called Laurie:

SEND US MORE BOOT PHOTOS! I NEED AT LEAST 200!!

I am attempting to persuade this man, Tim Key, to do lots of his poems for thisisaknife. Do you like him? Tell me. Tell him.
Tim Key - Love Poem

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...are pretty funny. Check this one out of former Olympic runner, Carl Lewis, acting alongside the fictional 'Mr Karate Man'. It's slightly reminiscent of that Knight getting chopped up in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Maybe we should send Carl a script and get him to be in a knife-film. A knifilm.

So let's have a look at that rap song from Maid Marian and her Merry Men.

You may remember that in our previous incarnation, we featured 419 Eater, the site that takes 419 scammers and just tries to waste their time while having as much fun at their expense as possible.

The 419 Eaters normally just get scammers to prove who they say they are by taking photos of themselves holding placards with lovely slogans, or adopting humorous poses. Or sometimes even both. Since the scammers normally claim to be someone they're not, the photos are generally very badly photoshopped.

But now they've taken things a step further and asked two 419 scammers to re-enact Monty Python's famous Dead Parrot Sketch. In its entirety. And they do. Watch below.

This is my favourite boot video received so far. It features Jake Armstrong, of East Dulwich.

Keep them coming in! Send them here: knife@worldofwonder.co.uk

The parents have just got back from India, bringing with them incense and goblets. But most importantly, a video of Indian and Pakistani soldiers at the border between their respective countries. I edited parts of it together, and added a healthy dollop of music. Please enjoy.

which is pretty scary.

You probably remember that last week, US basketball star Tim Hardaway told everyone that he "hates gay people". See below.

Who better to respond to these remarks than George Takei, the guy who most famously played Mr Sulu in Star Trek (TOS)? And how.

Apparently, the mother of the compiler of the following clips used to work in a video dating company in the 80s. So he dug out some of her old tapes and edited together the best of the worst.

You might have seen this video before, but I'm just using it as a) a springboard in to the next video and b) because I find it so catchy.

Then there's this one, which has been cut together so that it becomes a little cheekier. It's to do with pirates and women. About two thirds of the way through, the word 'thisisaknife' can be heard. Can you hear it?

Another video by the legendary Adam Buxton. He wrote this sketch and features in it as a "Rock Dad", assimilating the lines of NWA's "Fuck da Police" in to something more child-friendly.