February 3, 2005

Harry Reems

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harryreems

1. Describe yourself as if you were writing a personals ad.
NO LONGER FOR SALE. Porno star in his late 50s. Happy as a clam (no memory left). Will not sell his soul again. However, one can purchase his left rotator cuff, lower back, and both knees. All have been totally restored.

2. What's the title of your autobiography?
He Came, He Shriveled, He Left.

3. Who plays you in the movie?
Jim Carrey.

4. Who do you go to for advice?
No one. Very few are willing to sustain a meaningful conversation. Their loss.

5. What makes you cry?
My rotator cuff, my lower back, and my knees.