Big Mouth

This is an interesting story that's not about Deep Throat or Inside Deep Throat but about going inside a deep throat. Sachin Rao visits a surgeon and medical voice specialist in central Mumbai and gets tangled up in flack-mack, lips-sips, feh-sma, gudda-budda, and a bit of peachy-weachy. The entire Kama Sutra of vocal exercises. As Fenton Bailey says, "It isn't always about blowjobs." (Indian Express)

But first, an up-close peep at my vocal cords (or more properly, folds), which involves spraying some brackish anaesthesia into the back of my throat, flattening my tongue with a depressor and peering at my voice box through a rod optic telescope. I gag about till Dr Nayak finally retreats from my throat, having observed that I have ‘‘posterior tongue tension’’.

Then she whips out a fibre-optic laryngoscope; this one goes anteater-like through my nostril down to my larynx. I fight a massive sneeze as the flexible rubber tube spelunks my nasal caverns, but end up letting out a demonic a-choo right at poor Dr Nayak’s face. At the end of this mutually aggravating session, I’m given the a-ok—no growths, lesions, nodules, polyps, blips or bleeps.