Fenton Bailey, the other half of the WOW Boys (they’re like the Pep Boys, without Jack) was quite taken with the cover of Part I of the three-part “Calendar” section of the Sunday Los Angeles Times. It featured a full-page head-and-shoulders shot of Brad Pitt in full Achilles drag, with the headline “Boy Troy.” Inside, There was an essay titled “You Guys Are Beautiful” by Times critic Manohla Dargis.

If Achilles looked anything like Pitt does in “Troy,” it’s entirely possible that Paris, played by the equally comely Orlando Bloom, wouldn’t have given Helen a second look. I mean no offense to Diane Kruger, the lovely unknown who plays the Spartan queen. It’s just that if Paris–the Trojan prince who either stole or seduced Helen away from the Greeks, thereby launching a war and all those ships–had seen Pitt in his “Troy”-boy glory he wouldn’t have had eyes for anyone else.

“I thought that was a pretty cool headline in the LA Times,” wrote Fenton in an email to the WOW Report, “because it smacked of the new Homersexuality, which is to exploit the homoerotic content of something while denying its inherently gay nature. So we have Oprah ogling Brad Pitt’s buns and loins in his sword-and-sandal drag, but the fact is that what makes Achilles‘ character tick, what motivates him, is his love for Patroclus. And all that has been stripped out. Troy‘s been de-gayed.

“Interestingly, Brad Pitt was tres gay on Oprah; he made multiple butt references– particularly on the firm buns of Oprah’s ‘boyfriend’ Steadman. And then, when talking about his love of architecture, he said, ‘I’m totally gay about it.’

“Meanwhile in another part of the forest we are promised to find a happier–if covert– reference to gay love; the ogre-on-ogre love of the Shreks, who, though they be technically male and female, are first and foremost ugly green-skinned freak outcasts – just like us gays!”

Hurumph! Speak for yourself, Fenton.