The Hunks of 2013

Tom Mison Robbie Rogers Robbie Kay Nico Tortorella Michael Socha Michael B Jordan Liam Payne Lester Ellis Jr Kevin Riggin Jared Leto Jake Bugg Jack Gleeson Grant Gustin Drake Dane DeHaan Colton Haynes Best of 2013 Avan Jogia Adan Canto

Liam Payne, suddenly the hottest boy in One Direction, and the only one worth sqealing over; and British folk/rock cutie Jake Bugg (who would probably vomit if he knew he was lumped together with a boybander).

Tom Mison Robbie Rogers Robbie Kay Nico Tortorella Michael Socha Michael B Jordan Liam Payne Lester Ellis Jr Kevin Riggin Jared Leto Jake Bugg Jack Gleeson Grant Gustin Drake Dane DeHaan Colton Haynes Best of 2013 Avan Jogia Adan Canto

Dane DeHaan, the GREATEST NEW TALENT HOLLYWOOD HAS SEEN IN DECAAAAADES; and Robbie Rogers, the gay Beckham and the hottest guy in sports. Period.

Tom Mison Robbie Rogers Robbie Kay Nico Tortorella Michael Socha Michael B Jordan Liam Payne Lester Ellis Jr Kevin Riggin Jared Leto Jake Bugg Jack Gleeson Grant Gustin Drake Dane DeHaan Colton Haynes Best of 2013 Avan Jogia Adan Canto

Prettyboys of the year: The impossibly still-gorgeous Jared Leto (as Rayon in the Dallas Buyers Club); and Kevin Riggin, who plays the super-cute stoner, Rory, on Days of Our Lives (and who really needs his own storyline in 2014.)

Tom Mison Robbie Rogers Robbie Kay Nico Tortorella Michael Socha Michael B Jordan Liam Payne Lester Ellis Jr Kevin Riggin Jared Leto Jake Bugg Jack Gleeson Grant Gustin Drake Dane DeHaan Colton Haynes Best of 2013 Avan Jogia Adan Canto

Long-haired beauties: Tom Mison, THE discovery of the 2013 TV season, with those gorgeous, greasy locks, that fabulous aquiline nose. SWOON! And Avan Jogia who’s SO GOOD on Twisted, which of course nobody watches, so nobody knows what a huge star this kid should be. Really. He’s just WONDERFUL.

Tom Mison Robbie Rogers Robbie Kay Nico Tortorella Michael Socha Michael B Jordan Liam Payne Lester Ellis Jr Kevin Riggin Jared Leto Jake Bugg Jack Gleeson Grant Gustin Drake Dane DeHaan Colton Haynes Best of 2013 Avan Jogia Adan Canto

Nico Tortorella and Adan Canto who played the creepy bisexual serial killers on The Following. I haven’t been so terrified and so turned on at the same time since Joe Jonas grew that handle-bar mustache.

Tom Mison Robbie Rogers Robbie Kay Nico Tortorella Michael Socha Michael B Jordan Liam Payne Lester Ellis Jr Kevin Riggin Jared Leto Jake Bugg Jack Gleeson Grant Gustin Drake Dane DeHaan Colton Haynes Best of 2013 Avan Jogia Adan Canto

Also creepy and cute: The dastardly Peter Pan, played by Robbie Kay on Once Upon a Time; and the just flat-out batshit psychotic Joffrey Baratheon (Jack Gleeson), who’s bedroom antics with a King’s Landing prostitute this season SHOULD be enough to make my boner go away, but ohhhmygawwwwwwd, I STILL LOVE YOU JOFFREY!

Tom Mison Robbie Rogers Robbie Kay Nico Tortorella Michael Socha Michael B Jordan Liam Payne Lester Ellis Jr Kevin Riggin Jared Leto Jake Bugg Jack Gleeson Grant Gustin Drake Dane DeHaan Colton Haynes Best of 2013 Avan Jogia Adan Canto

Fruitvale Station‘s super-adorable breakout star Michael B Jordan (best smile of the year HANDS DOWN) and the smoldering hunk of man-meat Drake, whose song “Hold On, We’re Going Home” actually got me pregnant this year, true story.

Tom Mison Robbie Rogers Robbie Kay Nico Tortorella Michael Socha Michael B Jordan Liam Payne Lester Ellis Jr Kevin Riggin Jared Leto Jake Bugg Jack Gleeson Grant Gustin Drake Dane DeHaan Colton Haynes Best of 2013 Avan Jogia Adan Canto

The boys of CW’s Arrow: The ever-engaging Colton Haynes and the nerdy young Flash (soon to be spun off on his own show) Grant Guston.

Tom Mison Robbie Rogers Robbie Kay Nico Tortorella Michael Socha Michael B Jordan Liam Payne Lester Ellis Jr Kevin Riggin Jared Leto Jake Bugg Jack Gleeson Grant Gustin Drake Dane DeHaan Colton Haynes Best of 2013 Avan Jogia Adan Canto

It’s all about the brow game with these boys: Michael Socha, one of the most compelling new stars on television, who shines so brightly in the little-seen (and probably soon cancelled) Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. And the only person who can shift focus from Chris Lilley’s mesmerizing perfomance on Ja’mie Private School Girl, Lester Ellis Jr. as MITCHELL, OMFG!

Tom Mison Robbie Rogers Robbie Kay Nico Tortorella Michael Socha Michael B Jordan Liam Payne Lester Ellis Jr Kevin Riggin Jared Leto Jake Bugg Jack Gleeson Grant Gustin Drake Dane DeHaan Colton Haynes Best of 2013 Avan Jogia Adan Canto

And easily THE HOTTEST GUY OF 2013 is the nerdishly hot whistleblower Edward Snowden, whose release of classified material was called the most significant leak in US history. He’s a traitor to some, a patriot to others, and a hunk to me. Edward has said his sole motive for leaking the documents was “to inform the public as to that which is done in their name and that which is done against them.” The disclosures have fueled debates over mass surveillance, government secrecy, and the balance between national security and information privacy. I think that’s pretty fucking punk rock, and for that he’s my hottest guy of the year.

 

 

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