BITE: Ami's Posts

Independence Day!!!

2008-07-04T09:14:48Z

That today is Independence Day has fallen rather into insignificance for today is also Zena's Wedding. Today, in a church in sunny Miami, Zena will become Mrs Gibbs!!! My own engagement period bliss was last night enhanced by a blubbering trip to the cinema to finally see Sex And The City. In the words of Charlotte's husband, 'I'm just a bundle of love today' and I'm so excited for Zena who is probably still catching up on a little beauty sleep at the time this goes online. Good luck Zena and send us some photos. Oh my gosh- I'm quoting SATC! Ami x

Under the weather...

2008-06-27T10:47:09Z

Something took hold of my bowels this week and, with ominous authority, banished me to the small universe of bed and toilet basin. Needless to say this came as quite an unwelcome surprise. Since I was 'struck down', I have been dividing my time equally between the low-energy pastimes of sleeping, groaning, and Googling for a cure. I have it on good authority from some traveler's blog that there's an acupuncturist in India who swears by the healing effect of filling your belly button with salt, covering it in a few strips of fresh ginger and then setting it on fire. I'm becoming so bored with my own bottom that this belly bonfire might actually happen- I wonder if powdered ginger will do the trick? So, I'm racking my brains to think of what kind of pictures I can use to spice up the rather dry subject matter. Google images had this to offer for belly bonfire: Apparently locals were quite moved by what can clearly only be described as a bona fide sighting of the Virgin Mary in Mississippi last year- excluding the three people in the picture who are just wondering where the beer is. Further googles on ‘belly button’ came up with this blog Annoyingly he calls his blog a web-log as if he didn't get the message some how. As I suppose should be obvious mynavel.co.uk is about as interesting as a guy contemplating his navel can be. His most recent entry is quite amusing, however, and details the some of the google searches that directed people to his page such as 'my son loves my belly button' amongst others. On the blog- sorry- Log, you will find a photo diary of each day's belly button fluff with a discussion on the effects of his attire and the tucking in of his top. Now I'm quite familiar with this belly fluff phenomenon after living with my fluff producing beloved husband to be for over 6 years now- and I’ve always found it rather charming- one of the great wonders of the world blah, blah, blah, swoon, swoon… Mr mynavel.co.uk has unfortunately put a whole different (hairier) slant on the whole thing. If you think you are man enough I'd encourage you to take a look at this guy's fluff. It's surprisingly personal and rather unpleasant. For your information, my man's fluffs are an entirely different species- beautiful, perfectly formed, and always blue. Oh my god- is that what love does to you?!- you get competitive over belly button fluff!!!!! Ami x

Isle of Wight!

2008-06-19T12:32:31Z

I had the most unexpectedly posh festival experience of my life last weekend at the Isle of Wight Festival. This was due to two factors, one being that I was doing a, fairly minimal, amount of camera work for two of the performing bands and was subsequently granted an Access All Areas pass, but also because I had the great pleasure of being accommodated in a camper van. The ‘Freedom Van’ was borrowed from my lovely soon-to-be mother-in-law and driven with a great deal of pride down to portsmouth and over the water to the island. The van chugged jollily along like a bus with the soul of a gracefully ageing hippy, and very good-naturedly permitted various admiring young folk to take pictures of her as she passed. The merciful, and mostly undeserved, AAA pass saved me from the dark green cubic cavities of the dreaded festival toilets and I am still shocked to observe that every one of my toilet experiences involved a real flush, actual tissue paper, four permanent walls and a ceiling. At one point I actually had access to a shower, but felt that that would be missing the point somewhat. Do not worry, my hair was determinedly rocking the festival hag look by the Sunday with several people claiming a Slash sighting what with my matted hair, permanent sunglasses and crumpled cardboard top hat. Needless to say that at the end of the weekend, both myself, and the inside of the van, were looking rather jaded, but somehow we all managed to tootle back to London with some dignity intact, and a big smile on our faces. Ami x

Flight of the Conchords

2008-06-02T09:14:30Z

Who knew those Kiwis were so funny? It's not just the Mighty Boosh boys who can deal out an hilarious song and dance, The Flight of The Conchords are a comedy duo/ folk band from New Zealand who’s HBO show of the same name is characterised by sketches parodying the songs we all love and hate. The show is an unlikely cross between Peep Show and Curb Your Enthusiasm with a New Zealand accent- it’s all about the two guys trying to make it as a folk act in New York. What a shame we now have to wait for the next season to catch it again on BBC4. Meanwhile, there’s always Youtube. Ami x

A Scanner Darkly......

2008-05-28T10:14:15Z

A little click-hopping through YouTube really does leave the mind wondering where this 21st century past time of self-broadcasting will lead us all. Only in the Noughties can you film yourself in your own bedroom looking silly and talking silly and have a thousand strong viewership, several of whom will take the time to write inflammatory, bigoted comments cocooned in their online anonymity while others, keen to share the worldwide stage, will even post video responses. A recent London Paper article written by a 15 year old pointed to the fact that the young folk are too busy updating their facebook status to partake in the usual teenage pursuits of illicit drinking and clumsy underwear fumbles. I know my fiancée’s younger sisters, all living in Los Angeles, share Chris Crocker quotes at the table and, although they haven't gotten into kissing boys yet, have seen Two Girls One Cup. (if you haven't seen that I'd save yourself the nightmares- just imagine what bodily fluids and solids you and a friend could get in a cup and then try to swallow) Chris Crocker's mission statement style, big-shout-out-for- the-only-gay-in-the-village video repartee is worryingly captivating. He appears in various states of distress and makeup and as '2prty2bstr8t' comments on one video does 'really look pretty with eyeshadow.' One emotive video posted of himself crying about the media's lack of respect for Britney Spears is ominously un self-aware except in the sense that the tears and the pout are clearly exaggerated for the camera. The video made it onto the Jimmy Kimmel show in the states where millions nationwide had the rare opportunity of laughing at a Youtube clip simultaneously. Needless to say a clip of the clip appearing on the show made it back on to YouTube and has currently had over 7,000,000 views. My favourite Chris Crocker is his vitriol against the use of the phrase 'it's so gay', his reasoning being that 'gay is not an adjective.' The world of the blog is a world without editor- a world where having something to say is all you need- because in the noughties we have Ultimate Immediate Free Speech. A quick read through the comments posted to Chris Crocker's videos is enough to show you the linguistic implications of this freedom (and by that I mean the swearing, racism and general climate for voicing aggressive intolerance, rather than the comparatively innocuous spelling errors) Something I am rather fond of however is a video response parody by someone posing as Chris Crocker's dad which appears in the Jimmy Kimmel clip. So in this environment of virtual flashing from reality’s trenchcoat, I've found the rather fabulous 'Faceyourpockets'. Empty your pockets onto your scanner, place your face against the glass and press Scan. Voila! you’ve bared your soul to the uncaring world. But of course it's not that easy- these images are truly art not just an online confessional. Put some thought into it. Can you find mine? Ami x

Wedding Dress Stress

2008-05-19T11:59:02Z

I know it's dull to keep jabbering about your own wedding (I know because every time I hang out with my girlfriends it's the only thing they want to talk about) -- BUT a wedding is inherently self-indulgent and I need to vent a little anxiety over the distinct lack of a dress! There’s about 4 months to the wedding which to me seems far too long to wait- but in wedding world is as scandalous as having a nuns and vicars theme at your wedding and asking all your wedding guests to bring their own food and drink. The one conclusion I've come to though is that I do not want a dress which was designed to be a wedding dress. The theory behind that being that I'd rather not look like some 9 year old girl threw up her duvet on me. Case in point: Despite this crucial revelation I don't seem closer to finding the ‘dream’ dress - apparently I am supposed to have seen the whole wedding play out beautifully in my dreams and have the entire thing sorted out by now. For those of us 21st century ladies who haven’t been spending our formative years fantasizing the specifics of our wedding, the overabundance of generic wedding literature sadly offers little further assistance. Never fear- recent inspiration was found in the form of live accessories for the modern bride such as: Yes, that’s a goat she’s got. I'm sure it helps make the ‘tossing of the bouquet’ an extra memorable moment, with photographic record taking pride of place in the wedding album. For the moment my wedding muse is the dangerously addictive style.com which will have you clicking through catwalk shows like a coked up fashionista well into the wee small hours. Check out a small lookbook I just made here bearing in mind few of these dresses are either white or affordable. It appears I rather like ruffles though and I think it’s very important to avoid taking yourself too seriously on your wedding day, which brings me to wondering if I could pull this off: Although I suppose the only box that needs ticking is whether the groom can pull it off at the end of the night right? So what’s all the fuss about……. Ami x

Swinging

2008-05-15T12:36:53Z

To celebrate almost 2 full weeks of ridiculously good weather, the man and I had a little BBQ at the weekend. Although we're not grown up enough to have a garden yet, we do have what we like to call a 'roof terrace'. Being lucky enough to live above a bookies, we have exclusive access to the roof of its one-storey toilet block. To complement our roof terrace/toilet cotch we have installed a hammock purchased in haste from Hammock Heaven who delivered it the next day (as should always be the case). Needless to say the BBQ was hot but happening with our weird ethnic music blending seamlessly with the R n B from the pub across the road where a chap called Abraham was celebrating his 80th. Although Sunday morning saw the roof looking like I'd turned my house inside out with every chair, plate and knife outside- we quickly tidied away all the discarded meat before heading down to Brick Lane. Boy is it busy there at the weekends but it's all about the people watching anyway. With a spot of luck we bumped into a friend who was selling bacon butties and mojitios- an unexpectedly winning combination. Our little trip out was cut short by a need to hurry home and set up the hammock cinema. This involved simple ingredients of aforementioned hammock and roof, together with one white bed sheet from Asda and a projector. before we knew it (after a lot of effort) Michelle Gondry's film, Science of Sleep, was 4 feet wide on the roof in front of us. To complete the idyll we added a blanket or two and BBQ'd some salmon. Ooh la la. Ami x

Invasion!

2008-05-08T09:11:01Z

Oh my gosh, my house in under siege by the annual influx of mosquitoes- IT MUST BE SUMMER! Or is it just a heat wave? And why ARE there always so many mosquitoes in my part of Hackney? Did you know that only female mosquitoes have that little sucker tube and they don't suck at you for food. The vegetarian 'mosquitas' use the protein in your blood to harvest their babies. So those little bites are even worse than you thought- you've just facilitated the expansion of the swarm........ If you think the mosquitoes should start working for you, have a little look at this ridiculous site offering free mosquito ringtones Brilliantly they're supposed to be adult and teacher proof tones because the frequency of the 'mosquito call' is too high for old people to hear. Definitely worth testing this out on a grandparent or just using to annoy people. I have to say I'm pleased to note that I can definitely hear the tones that the site says are inaudible to those over 24. Last week I told my hairdresser I was 25 and he said,'that's ok- you're old but you're still hot.' Is that a compliment? Ami x

I wanna be on top...

2008-04-30T11:30:21Z

Last weekend had me putting to the test all those posing chops learnt from America’s Next Top Model- those sedentary sofa hours not wasted after all! My friend Barry Macdonald, who usually shoots bands, was looking to expand his portfolio and I was the red-stockinged guinea pig in his fabulous fashion shoot. Might I also just mention that I am slightly intimidated by the news that Zena AND her bridesmaids have dresses for her wedding already. My lot not looking half so impressive as yet with no dresses in sight, er…. but I do have a florist! For Zena or anyone who’s interested/engaged/dreaming/bored- here is a little blog run by a lady who makes wedding ‘mood boards’. You can tell her your colour scheme or the vibe of your wedding day and she’ll mood-board it- or you can just scroll through the many already up- like this tasty citric wonder: Ami x

The Importance of Being Earnest!

2008-04-22T09:26:53Z

It is not without a collective jump for joy that the Bite girls welcome in Series 2 of BITE. While the series will no doubt be pushing us to the limits of decency and bringing some finer weather, we are indeed bewailing the sad loss of Amy and Antonya (The A Team) due to ‘geographical differences.’ I have my assumptions that their sassy little publicist is having me on and they’ll be popping out of a Ford Ka in no time at all. It’s been about a month since our last series and a lot has happened (including me finally having my haircut and frustratedly trying on at least 50 wedding dresses, none of which will be invited to the wedding). At the end of the last series, the Bite girls were lucky partakers in a ‘denim party’ courtesy of Ilovejeans.com and their Denim To Your Door programme. If you missed the episode- suffice to say that this new take on the Ann Summers/ Tupperware party format provides a long needed antidote to the horror of jeans shopping on the high street. A Denim to Your Door party is the perfect environment for jeans-buying - surrounded by your friends in the comfort of your own home you can try on pair after pair, with both drinks and honest advice on tap. An unfortunate lack of cash at the denim party, however, led to my desperate denim dash to Selfridges earlier this week. Despite the near paralysing prospect of a denim purchase with no time, no friends, and no drink in sight, I quite quickly snapped up a pair with my name written all over them! Turns out posh denim company, Earnest Sewn, (as seen on an Olsen or two) has brought out a new (and slightly cheaper) line called Earnest Am I. It just so happens the various tags which adorn the jeans look like they’re saying Ami.
Earnest Sewn promises you will, ‘find an unwavering appreciation for denim and the fading mystique of American ingenuity and craftsmanship’. So it would appear they are a little, um, earnest. None the less- Did you Know?....... It turns out you can recycle your old jeans into building insulation and Earnest Sewn sponsored an initiative to help victims of Hurricane Katrina. Have a look at how you could help here. This sponsorship makes even more sense when you look into how to get YOUR name on a pair of their jeans. If you pay upwards of $700.00 you can have your Earnests custom made to your measurements, and they’ll print your signature on the label. Ami x

Something fishy...

2008-02-27T18:55:21Z

If you're up for the freshest fish in Tokyo and are a little jet-lagged, you wouldn’t go wrong heading down the Tsukiji Fish Market. It’s the largest fish market in the world and it got me out of bed before 5am. Over 2000 tons of edible ocean life is bought and sold in the fish market every day. Apparently that’s £14m worth. Tuna seems the main deal and is auctioned off first thing in the morning. Some of the tuna is frozen, sliced and packaged. Some is loaded into trucks to be rushed to the sushi houses of Tokyo and beyond. Some remains on site to be sold through the rows and rows of stalls. And much is bought by the local sushi establishments serving the freshest sashimi breakfast you’ll ever have. It was cold, it was early and it sure was fishy, but it was one of the most photogenic places I’ve ever visited. But while lots of fun can be had wandering the cobbles and dodging the scooters, one does wonder at how the ocean is suffering the loss….. Ami x

Hello Tokyo!

2008-02-27T16:56:55Z

Luck was on my side last week and I found myself in Japan for a few days. Technically I was there for work but I kept my eyes, ears and mouth, wide open for the duration. I flew back full of green tea, miso soup and sashimi. Going to Japan felt almost like a rebirth. I’m not joking, it’s pretty interesting to understand so little, to be dismayed by brightly coloured snacks! and spend 20 wide-eyed minutes in front of a tube map none-the-wiser. The demographic is also noticeably less ‘pick n’ mix’ than England, particularly my neighbourhood in Hackney let’s say. So that just made me feel like an even stranger stranger. This delightful but disorienting feeling of foreign-ness was however, assuaged by the graciousness of the Japanese people and their constant willingness to help. People were very nice to me, we bowed, we giggled, we did karaoke, I marvelled at the shortness of the school girls’ skirts. I drank sake and ate delicious meals ordered by touch-sensor on-table computer screens. Tables full of workers straight from the office, all wearing the same uniform and drinking with the same spirit, but looking decidedly Battle Royale. I could go on and on, but must now start trawling the net hunting down cheap tickets back to Tokyo. Hope you’ve checked out the show this week - it’s hottie. Also I’ll be posting some more Japan shots later this week. Ami x

Birds Eye View

2008-02-26T10:49:01Z

Here's my own masterpiece recorded on my phone for 'Overheated Symphony' for the Birds Eye View Festival as featured in this weeks show. Enjoy Ami

OMG! ANTM 9! DOUBLE BILL

2008-02-04T11:07:28Z

Monday 4th February Living TV 9pm. Did you know how much you'd missed it? Girls will prance, cameras will flash and Tyra Banks will probably do something ridiculous to welcome in the new show, before saying ‘America's Next Top Model’ multiple times. Maybe she gets royalties when she says it? I hear (and YouTube confirms) that for one of this season’s challenges, ‘the girls’ appear in an Enrique Iglesias music video. Probably was a bit of a challenge dealing with playback of his song during the shoot, but I can’t wait to see the episode. Erm, wait a second. Is Enrique Iglesias actually quite hot? I had no idea. It’s amazing that you can be blinded by music. Hey. Did somebody have a mole removed? Ami

Rats all folks!

2008-01-28T11:45:21Z

Banksy's art ratified, despite what the papers say...... There seems to be an awful lot of media misrepresentation surrounding Banksy's big rat up in Liverpool. The Capital of Culture has pledged to preserve the 30-foot rodent which adorns the White Hart pub, and has erected some hoardings around it while it does a little renovation. Liverpool City Council has promoted such art as a way of cleaning up what it calls city 'grot spots'. And as you can see from the photo, they've been carefully painting the building around Mr Rat. This has had various publications stirring up trouble by quoting the council as saying the rat himself is a 'grot spot' that's due to be cleaned up and painted over. Either way it's good to see Banksy causing some controversy once more. Gone are the days when he skulked unseen around Hackney and created graffiti that made people question the nature of art. Nowadays he's widely acclaimed as an incredible artist with his works selling for £250,000 or more to the likes of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. However, Favourite Rat of The Year Award does not go to one of Banksy's many fabulous creations. Paws down the winner is: Remy from Pixar's Ratatouille. If you haven't seen the film yet it should really be the very next thing you do! Besides the fact that it is actually a very good film that's been nominated for 5 Oscars, the protagonist is a fluffy little rat living in Paris with a love of fine food. What's not to love? It had me from the opening credits. Ah, there's something so refreshing about characterisation in animation. Because you're watching talking animals, it's easier to lose your cynicism and be charmed. The same cannot be said for my feelings about the protagonist in Sean Penn's film 'Into the Wild'. Actor/Director Sean Penn seemed to me so overindulgent with his lead, Emile Hirsh, and clearly assumed a high degree of de facto audience sympathy because the film was based on a true story with a sad ending. Personally I was overjoyed at the film's ending because I couldn't believe I 'd sat through the whole thing and survived. I wonder if I've just dashed all my chances at the big-game in Hollywood, now I've gone and said that. The almost pedigree positivity of the reviews for Into the Wild would indicate that Penn is Power in LA LA Land. Or that my taste in movies sucks.