Joey Heatherton: Serta-fied Perfection

Attention all drag queens, faggots, strippers, sex kittens, and red-blooded American males – YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS VIDEO! A thousand thanks to Brett from Texas for sending this GLORIOUS making-of story from the '70s Serta Perfect Sleeper mattress commercials starring THE ONE AND ONLY JOEY HEATHERTON – aka Joey Heatherock for you Flinstones afficiandos. Watching it is as close to a religious experience as many of you are ever likely to get! In it, Joey wiggles and giggles and go-gos and rolls around on her Serta mattress, singing a song I guarantee YOU WILL NEVER FORGET. You will be humming it in the shower, in your car, and while you try to sleep tonight on your inferior-grade mattress! This video was used as in-store promotion, so it's never been seen outside a Serta store. Watch and learn, young ones!

– James St James

Loos Lets Loose in LA

Just because Rebecca Loos "blew into LA" recently (at left) doesn't mean she's here to meat up, so to speak, with former fling David Beckham and drive Posh out of her Egyptian-cotton-pickin' mind. Loos could very well be in town to reunite with her estranged "husband," Jenny Shimizu, whom she married (at right) after meeting her while shooting the WOW TV doc Power Lesbians. (via TMZ; photo at left: Getty)

Rebecca's Loose

"I'm bisexual, so I'm attracted to other women," Rebecca Loos tells Australia's Entertainment News.com, "and since it's still really secretive and undercover in the UK I thought it would be great to go out to LA and see what happens." Loos is the woman whose fling with media darling David Beckham caused a scandal in still-not-blasé-to-scandal England last year. What happened in LA, as we reported last week, was that Loos got married to model Jenny Shimizu after a whirlwind three-day courtship. The ceremony was filmed for WOW's Power Lesbians documentary, which airs in the UK this Sunday on Sky One.

"It definitely shed a different light on what happened last year – you know, the media was saying that I was the marriage-wrecker, that I'm the bad person, that I did it for the money, and that couldn't be further from the truth." She says the term 'Power Lesbians' refers to glamorous, successful women who are well and truly 'out and proud'.

My Big Fat Dyke Wedding

Like most people I know, I LOVE a good wedding. Especially when it's between a UK tabloid honey and a lesbian Calvin Klein model. And overseen by High Priestess James St. James! Allow me to explain.

You will recall the blushing bride, Rebecca Loos, best known in the UK for her saucy fling with England football hunk David Beckham. And of course you remember the dashing groom, Jenny Shimizu, as the androgynous Asian from the Calvin Klein CK One commercials – not to mention her couplings with Madonna and Betty-both-ways Angelina Jolie. Rebecca and Jenny met in Hollywood not long ago while filming an interview for Power Lesbians, World of Wonder's anthropological exploration into the local girl scene for Sky TV in the UK, and fell head-over-heels in licky lesbian love. And St. James? He LEAPT at the chance to oversee their union. Providing he could wear a mid-calf-length clerical frock.

The bride, Loos, wore an ivory silk gown and carried a posie of delicate cream roses. Shimizu, the groom, teamed a slimline black suit with (somewhat dykey) Converse sneakers. She was accompanied by her best "man" Boo, a hard-as-nails biker-punk lesbian. The two were married by St. James, sporting his self-proclaimed "glam-drag-goth-fem-rock-sex-monk" look. It was, as the rags would have it, the Wedding of the Week.

James and I skipped the post-nuptials reception to head down to The Spotlight, where James got all the sinners' attention in his priestly cassock. I was left at the bar reading quotes from the bible he stole from the church: "A woman is not to wear male clothing," Deuteronomy 22:5 dictates, "and a man is not to put on a woman's garment, for everyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord your God." "I'm DETESTABLE!" shrieked James, as we toasted the detestable but happy couple.

– Steven Corfe

(Power Lesbians airs Sunday, May 29, at 10PM on Sky One UK)