Podcast 5-7-08

That new guy you don't recognize is Mick Kaczorowski, executive producer at Animal Planet, who happened to be in the office when the podcast was starting. And he happened to be in the office because he's working on a project with WOW, but no one needs to know that yet. He leaks that when Meerkat Manor starts up again June 6, Stockard Channing will be its new narrator. James gets started on American Idol. Randy wonders if David Archuleta and Michael Alig are an "Of Interest." Blue pants suits. Gayle's droopy surgery face on Oprah. Is Oprah so much happier now that she's back to being fat? Randy and A New Earth, his essential self, and Oprah. Tom Cruise and his scripted minions. Barbara Walters: her daughter, her book, Rosie, Star Jones. Sex and the City, the movie, its stars. Sarah Jessica's Lady Bunny hair on a billboard. Sparkle fonts! The Miley Cyrus ploy. The Kardashians. Gossip Girl. (Gossip Girl gossip continues uninterrupted as Randy and Mick leave the podcast.) Where in the World Is Matt Lauer? Will Perez Hilton be remembered long after Paris Hilton is forgotten? Obsolete communication gestures. Does David Archuleta know he's gay? Mariah's wedding suddenness seems suspect. And...scene.

Podcast 4-30-08

Madonna queen Steven Corfe shows off his $29.99 deluxe Hard Candy package featuring actual hard candy and a megamix bonus track for the gays. James says her fan base now is old gym queens, like Traci Lords' is old men in raincoats. Madonna vs Mariah re fan relations. American Idol and Paula Abdul. Is David Cook already the winner? Asks Fenton: "Could Madonna ever have won American Idol?" Jordan Sparks and her exploding vocal cords. Fenton, it's discovered much to James' dismay, has never seen an installment of The Daily Freak Show. The new Cameron-Ashton movie. Baby Mama. That guy in Austria who kept all his kids locked in the basement for years: not as hot as James thought it might have been. "Serial killer Fire!" Certain fetishes established after WWII. David Blaine's lungs. Steadman in the Oprah audience. The pregnant man: still pregnant. Tom Cruise. Miami Beach: John Grisham and rosé wine. James can't get the Flobots' "I Can Ride a Bike with No Handlebars" out of his head. Now you can't.

Podcast 4-24-08

Due to unavoidable delays and technical detours of this latest World of Wonder podcast, the management regrets we can offer no assist for you in the form of a lengthy synopsis. The discourse is as lively and controversial as ever, of course, but the curious will have to brave the uncharted territory alone and without a map this week.

Podcast 4-9-08

Priscilla Presley vs Julie Newmar. Randy's not-from-Target grey hoodie. Dancing With the Stars. James sniffs out a gay behind-the-scenes affair. Johnni Javier, WOW creative director at the London office, calls and a transatlantic pop-cultural exchange of sorts follows. James brazenly brings up the G-word as only James can, courtesy of Whoopi "Goldman" on The View. The N-word and C-word follow in quick succession. Discussion. American Idol. David Archuleta. Carly. Jason Castro – a pot-smoker or mildly retarded? David Cook. "Jesus and Gravity." Mariah Carey: "She and Britney are back on the meds and everything's great," says Fenton. James remembers that Glitter the movie and album were released on September 11, 2001. (Google it!) Madonna's new single. "People's worst singles are actually their best," says Fenton. "Look at Paula Abdul's 'Vibeology.' " Randy tells of the many changes he went through while watching "4 Minutes" over and over. Madonna, the vortex, the self-referencing pop star. Randy admits, sadly, that Madonna is his cultural reference. George Clooney. Renée Zellweger. The Pregnant Man. The View. Kathie Lee Gifford on Today's fourth hour. James admits that Kathie Lee is his cultural reference. Autism, the musical. The Moment of Truth. Emile Hirsch and Lydia. Speed Racer. Janice Dickinson in that Orbit commercial. Lydia describes seeing Dickinson in the courtyard at the ArcLight. And all the while, Johnni Javier is still on the phone from London.

Podcast 3-26-08

On Easter Sunday, says Lydia, her mother didn't know how to use the zoom feature on the video camera so just moved closer to people. James isn't excited about American Idol, yet the subject incites discussion. David Archuleta's ass. The Australian. "God Bless America." Scots vs Irish. South Park – has it gone too far? Britney on ...Mother. Hulu.com. Priscilla Presley. DWTS: the deaf one vs the one without the leg. Helen Keller as a Vaudeville performer. Pop Fiction. Celebrities vs privacy. Swag. Should Paris Hilton get everything free all the time? "Celebrity economics are not based on need," says Fenton. James gets on an anti-hypocrisy rant. Advertising. Yacult. Raw milk. The Kardashians. Dexter. Blatant product placement on Smallville. "Electile dysfunction." "Dancing With the SARS." Hillary's lie. Randy at the Escort Awards, then at an event with Heidi and Spencer. Bobby Trendy vs Michael Alig. Dorks vs twinks. During the bleeping, watch James's lips carefully. All about "taint." A WOW office in Dubai? The Village People's "YMCA" explained. How did stories become viral before the internet? Are jokes started by Jews? King Kong on the cover of Vogue? Meanwhile, until next week, James and Randy urge you to watch Robin Mead on CNN Headline News from 5-9AM every day.

Podcast 3-13-08

Arguably our most animated podcast to date. James announces "Dial M for Madonna" as the next art show in the (newly renovated) World of Wonder Storefront Gallery. Much excitement over American Idol. Fenton asks: "If Sarah Jessica Parker is perfume, who is bags, who is shoes, and who is baby bling?" A question that begs the question Are handbags the new shoes or are shoes the new handbags? Which somehow leads to James revealing which celebrity has a penis the size of a lentil. A lentil? A return to the topic of American Idol takes talk to a fever pitch with everyone talking at once (although it's mostly James, who's an unstoppable conversational freight train this day). The Pod Squad fiercely deconstructs speeches by Timberlake and Madonna at Madonna's Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame induction. Drugs, lies, and B12 shots. OMG Iggy Pop! The "legacy" story of Madonna and Seymour Stein. Madonna's face: placenta anyone? Can it be true her sister once lit farts in front of Fenton at a bar in New York? John Mellencamp. The Eagles. The Beatles. Randy's Sketchers. Is Lindsay Lohan using Bazaar as an employment agency? Reality shows. "We don't do reality show," says Randy. "We do observational documentaries." Tori. Raquel Welch on Welcome to the Captain. Posh on Project Runway – and Posh in general – divides the Pod Squad. How voice-overs and body types go in and out of vogue over the decades. And... scene.

Podcast 3-5-08

Fenton, James, and Lydia convene in the conference room, where Fenton is fondling the Adult Video "Oscar" WOW received. "It was a big AVN year," James says, bringing up the Jenna James controversy. Oh, the crossover perils of aging porn stars. Crossover drag queens. RuPaul achieved his due to a "perfect storm" of events. "Talk to the genitals," Fenton says. James notes that there are nude pics of himself (when he was "young and cute") in the possession of old boyfriends, but they haven't downloaded them on the interwebs. Yet. Do we still care about the Oscars, or have they jumped the shark? James goes totally OFF on No Country for Old Men! Fenton wasn't fond of There Will Be Blood. They both lose it over Angelina Jolie and those Charlie Chan accents she does, for God's sake! Barbara Walters: her View interviews vs her Oscar specials. Oprah devalues her brand with Oprah's BigGive. The joy of seeing the Queen at home in Buckingham Palace. The Marc Jacobs documentary and the genius club-kid mentality of Marc Jacobs. James explains the story behind the Snuffalufagus controversy. Lost. Chace and JC. American Idol. Danny Noriega. Austin Scarlet. Randy, late to the podcast, says he loves the gays being gay. David Archuleta. Transamerican Love Story. Perez and the divas. And, finally, Randy and Fenton express how impressed they were with Freddie Prinze Jr when he stopped by the office.

Service Man

After watching the WOW podcast I couldn't help but start thinking about the word service. There are so many different connotations: performing a good service, in service, out of service, being in the service, faithfully serving, servitude, service with a smile, being served, getting served. And after thinking on it, I realized that Randy is right. I really am into service! Oh, and James, I prefer the term "Power Bottom" – but to each his own. (Photo: AguynamedWayne in the service; I was young and intent on proving how butch I was, lol.)

– AguynamedWayne

Podcast 10-31-07

All over the place. Fenton brings up seeing Max Raabe and the Palast Orchester at Royce Hall on the UCLA campus, but James intercepts with the non sequitur, "Eat it! Lick it! Snort it! Fuck it!" Will the writers strike cripple the soaps? Fenton struggles to find something profound to say about writing in LA. Should writers in LA be called something other than writers? "Every group of people is essentially horrible," says James. Dumbledore. Harry and William. Some sketchy English history. Guy Fawkes. (Pause.) "This podcast is terrible," notes Fenton. James reads aloud the stories he's marked in Entertainment Weekly – about TV hosts and such. Fame rubs off on the lesser renowned. Perez Hilton. Chris Crocker. Jefree Star. Brokeback Mountain. James' recent letter to Michael Alig. Kim Kardashian. Rumer Willis. Mandy Moore. Ashlee Simpson. Kate Hudson. "How long," asks James, "does Gwyneth get to coast on her Oscar of 10 years ago?" Renée Zellweger, Cuba Goodin Jr, Marisa Tomei. "Paris Hilton has a doctorate in public manipulation," says Fenton, in context. Sharon Stone, the first firecrotch. Then, as abruptly as it started, the podcast ends. (Did you spot the mystery staffer of yesterday?)

Podcast 10-24-07

Britney apparently really liked Party Monster when she saw it at Sundance, says Fenton, because she didn't have to think about it. Now she's put a song called "Freakshow" on her Blackout album and it's become James' new theme song, of course. Might she be reading Freak Show to her boys at bedtime? Pod Squad consensus is that the album's good. Fenton recommends reading Rosie O'Donnell's Celebrity Detox. "It's what we've been saying for years!" he exclaims. He mentions seeing the Eagles perform recently, and that incites a discussion of lighters vs cellphones during "Desperado." Like, which is more primal, flame or screensaver? Ellen and Iggygate. Ellen and Portia. The Kardashians. Brody Jenner. The Hills: Steven says it "brings out the 14-year-old girl in me," which James says, at 3AM, takes only one Madonna song and a shot of tequila. Will the LA inferno increase the box office for Things We Lost in the Fire? Pod Squad loves the light in LA now that it's filtered through smoke. Ben Foster's gay character in 3:10 to Yuma. Outing Dumbledore. 30 Days of Night. Fenton mentions being in the Arctic Circle for 30 nights of day. Insomnia. More Ben Foster. Pushing Dasies. Weeds. Prison Break still? Chuck. Reaper. The surprising season-ender of Damages. Which reminds James of when they killed Jessica in what would turn out to be the series-sender of Soap in, like, 1975. Kyle XY. Fenton is fascinated, he says, with the commercials for partial knee-joint replacement. After a discussion of other noteworthy TV spots, James springs a scandal-queens-of-the-past pop quiz on the Pod Squad. As expected, Fenton is the most informed.

Podcast 10-10-07

Randy, James, Lydia, and Steven pull up to the bumper this day. Randy says he's Tyra'd of watching reality shows of late, but he just had to watch Wayne Newton on Dancing With the Stars. Find a clip of Newton doing the tango on YouTube, he says, "and I swear you'll rewind it 15 times!" Marie Osmond's backstage shtick. It's obvious that Matt Lauer really does hate Meredith Vieira. James wants to know why celebrities are always denying things and then later confessing they were true, as in the cases of Bill Clinton, J-Lo, Pamela Anderson, Jessica and Nick, Nicole Richie.... Is it privacy control? Haven't they given up their right to privacy once they become big stars? Randy says he wants to be a pregnant diva for Halloween. The death of Dean Johnson – his legacy, his headlines. If James could choose his death, he would choose to be murdered in a headline-grabbing sex scandal. Pushing Daisies. Chuck. Reaper. Dirty Sexy Money. Gossip Girl. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Mad Men. America's Most Smartest Model. Tyler Perry. Janet Jackson. Discussion of which stars deserve billing above other stars. Is Queen Latifah a bigger star than Michelle Pfeiffer? Is Dane Cook a bigger star than Jessica Alba? Randy says everybody'a a bigger star than Jessica Alba. He dismisses her as "the brunette on your cheerleading squad." And we'll make that the last word.

Podcast 9-26-07

Randy, James, and Lydia welcome you to this week's podcast. The new TV season anyone? Chuck. Bionic Woman. Private Practice. Randy could not care less about the new season, and can't believe people are still watching television. Take Grey's Anatomy, for example; nothing is believable on it anymore, so why would he care about a spinoff? Discussion ensues. Is Kate Walsh really a star? Here's a shocker: Randy, who gets to meet a lot of stars, says the biggest star he's met in a long while is Chris Crocker. Discussion ensues. Tim Gunn, his show. James wants to know, "Do people tire of faggots quicker than they do of other people?" Are they better is small doses, adding a pinch of flavor to other shows? Discussion, as you might imagine, ensues. Do we know too much about our celebrities. The celebrity buffet. James explains why fans have different reactions to meeting movie stars, TV stars, and writers. Is Britney our new Judy? How on earth was the song "Heaven" written? VH1's The Pick-Up Artist is despicable; Hogan Knows Best is not. Kid Nation and the big problem with little children becoming reality stars. J-Lo's new single. Robin Thicke's album – Randy figures him to be a drag queen. And finally, David Keeps and his Art & the City series. Suddenly, and by all accounts, he's a... STAR! and it hasn't even aired yet.

Podcast 9-12-07

Fenton, James, and Steven talk about Britney and the VMAs and Sarah Silverman's stab to the dead body, reminding Fenton of the RuPaul-Milton Berle "diaper" incident on MTV some years ago. Don't remember that? Ask your parents. The pod squad has poz and neg thoughts on the VMAs; John Norris reminded James of Phil Spector, and Fenton "carbon-dated" himself by not knowing anyone on the red-carpet preshow, but is looking forward to seeing a post-apocalyptic Vegas in the new Resident Evil. Rosie O'Donnell's new book, Celebrity Detox, gets Fenton riled that she's getting a bum rap as a crazy motormouth when there are crazier crazies who are not so criticized, and that leads to introducing into the convo such names as Donald Trump, Meredith Vieira, Whoopi Goldberg, Bill Reilly, and Barbara Walters herself, who really IS old. "Dotty Spice," Fenton calls her. James brings up Lourdes, Rumer, Madonna's hands, and Morgan Fairchild. Which leads to the topic of certain WOW staffers' sudden aging. James says his neck is going, and that one side of his face is fabulous like Faye Dunaway's, while the other side looks like Droopy Dog. Rita Cosby's Larry Birkhead and Howard K Stern allegation. "Like drug addict with a plan," says Fenton. James would totally do Larry – "and Howard at four in the morning probably ain't that bad either." Fenton points out how ET produces the Anna Nicole saga for TV. The Pre-Death Zone. The moment: "Where were you when Britney died?" Her single, her album. Tim Gunn's new show. Kimora Lee Simmons' new show, Life in the Fab Lane. "You've never seen nouveau riche like this on television before," says James. "You hate her." Jodie Foster's bird face. Steven reveals how Perez's VH1 special was put together so quickly, in basically two days. Randy pops in with two faces of Martha Stewart: Siouxsie Sue and Susan Sarandon. Then boo! turns to ba!

Podcast 9-5-07

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Fenton is back in the pod squad, Steven is on board as usual, and James, inexplicably dressed like a gay Lawrence of Arabia (that's redundant, sorry), complete with turban ("we're all one world," he will say later), begins talk about his Freak Show reading in Phoenix, where the temperature was 110 degrees and everyone was "naked" and without an inch of body fat, and he'd willingly go to prison with any one of them. This talk continues for a moment or two. Steven interrupts with mention of the VMAs, which leads to Steven and James simultaneously realizing that they'd both recognized only half the people pictured in a recent Us Weekly. "Who are these celebrities?" says James. Then James, struggling with a theory he wants to put forth, is interrupted again by Steven, who says simply, "We can get YouTube on our iPhones, but everyone's watching cats flushing toilets." "Exactly!" exclaims James. "The smarter we get, the dumber we become." "...The dumber I are," amends Fenton, pointing out that Trio, Bravo, and A&E all started out as arts networks but can't move fast enough into the realm of "immersive narrative" – or celebreality. Is Disney the breeding ground for the Lindsay Lohans and Britney Spearses? Are people brought up in show business inherently flawed? Fenton wonders if, instead of an age of consent, there should be an age below which you cannot be a star. Suddenly, James is up commandeering Randy and Lydia into the conference room and the talk turns to "dazzling technology" and an imagined future world divided into two separate societies: dumber and dumber Lindsays and Parises and smarter and smarter geeks. Steven says the word "cewebrities" and gets praised; Lydia brings up Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged and, er, not so much. A lot of etc ensues: the new fall season, Chuck, Kid Nation, Britney's comeback, and a particularly prophetic sketch on an old Mad TV.

Podcast 8-29-07

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This is the podcast that almost never was. It was lost for a week and on its way to becoming one of those legendary recordings that surface to much acclaim decades later, like a new Beatles tune or a Dylan basement tape. But we flatter ourselves. Anyway, those of you who only read the synopses that usually appear under the podcast videos will be sorely disappointed today, 'cause we want to get this up before a new podcast begins today. All we can say is that it's show-and-tell with Randy, James, Steven, and Lydia. Mostly James.

Podcast 8-17-07

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A skeletal half-day Friday podcast. Alas (or hooray), only Randy and James are available. As they start to chat about Reba McIntyre's South Pacific performance at the Hollywood Bowl that some of us went to the week before, they're interrupted by a phone call from Fenton, who's still on paternity leave and whose voice seems like one long-lost. James tells him about Frank Owen's new book, No Speed Limit, about meth, written on meth, and best read on meth. Talk turns to Fenton's new baby boy, then to Sienna Miller on the cover of Vogue, which Fenton can't see over the phone. James calls The Last Mrs Astor, the book he's reading, "a hatchet job," though it does have one funny story, which he tells. "A woman after your own heart," says Fenton telephonically before ringing off. James has a Nicole Kidman theory (Bewitched, Stepford Wives, The Invasion – you do the meth). Randy has a theory too, about the size of one's notepad at meetings. James was on a photoshoot recently with Leslie Jordan, the little gay from Will & Grace, and they got to talking and it turns out Jordan grew up with Lady Bunny in Chattanooga. "Grew UP WITH," James repeats, eyes big, prodding Randy. The Nanny Diaries. Alicia Keyes' wobbly eye. Robbie Williams and David Beckham to play lovers on Desperate Housewives? Chav porn! James opens some of the birthday packages he's been receiving from fans, and one contains a taxidermy baby chick, fingernail clippings, and a tool for preventing anal and vaginal leaking; an enclosed card explains. James plans to outlive everybody. Chelsea Lately. James swears the president wears fake ears that conceal a receiver that feeds him answers to press-conferance questions. Rubber ears.

Podcast 8-8-07

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You probably don't know, but one of our leaders, Fenton Bailey, is on paternity leave (yes!) and won't be podcasting until September. You thought for a split second that we were going to say he died, didn't you? Well, he didn't. But local LA newscaster Hal Fishman died yesterday and James starts the podcast with a kind of prayer circle for him. Which leads to talk of other legendary, and living, news anchors, including the fabulous Sue Simmons, near and dear to all us expat New Yorkers. Which leads to the question of whether bloggers, like Perez and Drudge, are replacing the TV news. The deaths of Bergman and Antonioni are touched on (and that third person no one can remember is Tom Snyder). "Tragic and ugly" former boy band members in Man Band. All is forgiven and James is back to liking Justin Timberlake. Summer songs anyone? Will Fergie blossom into one of the great artists, become the Ella Fitzgerald of our time? Madonna has a hairy face! James has an anecdote about it! And another, more fabulous one! Lydia saw something odd concerning our mayor's mistress. Perez Hilton is the go-to guy for celebrity soundbites, says James. "There's something we don't know about Lynn Spears," cautions Randy. "Lynn Spears is a little Mommie Dearest." Is Britney ready for a comeback or does she have to sink lower first? Discussion. Should celebrity rehab facilities have recording and art studios for their addicted artists to create while they're drying out? Cisco Adler's balls and Rock Life. MTV's turning geeks into players. Next. Dismissed. Hot Rod vs Superbad. Does Lydia like Andy Samberg or not?

Podcast 08-01-07

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A lot of chatter and bantering today among the pod squad. WOW executive assistant Lydia Rendon – dubbed the Lindsay Lohan of World of Wonder due to her frequent attendance at such hotspots as Les Deux, LAX, and Hyde – joins the mix today. James recounts a Descent-like nightmare he had about her, with cave as metaphor for vagina, which Randy interprets probably not incorrectly as a "K-hole dream." Hairspray is discussed, including the snubbing of John Waters' original film in the publicity machine, the huh? quality of Travolta's performance, the over-praising of Queen Latifah, the hotness of Zac Efron, and the fact that Waters' original film really wasn't that good upon seeing it again. And Kelly Osbourne and Macaulay Culkin somehow get worked in. Can Lindsay Lohan ever come back? "She's an old whore to me now," says James, adding that Halle Berry now is nothing more than a spokesperson for Revlon. In a discussion of actresses vs movie stars, Sharon Stone and Elizabeth Taylor necessarily come up. Mad Men. Much talk about Damages and Glenn Close and that leaning against the Cadillac bit. James loved his 30s, hates I Hate My 30s. Scott Baio proves to be a "serial douchebag" in Scott Baio Is 45...and Single. Kathy Griffin just gets better and better. Beauty and the Geek. The evolving of reality TV – and thoughts on how perhaps it should evolve. Julie Chen's ridiculously solemn hosting of Big Brother. What the hell's with John from Cincinnati? Californication. Weeds. Mary Louise Parker. Claire Danes. Michelle Pfeiffer's eternal youth and beauty.

Podcast 7-12-07

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Hey Paula/Hate Paula. "There's no there there," says Randy, quoting Gertrude. Randy tells how the Tori Spelling-Bobby Brown photo came to be. Posh and Becks. James demonstrates his many poses over the years, leading to his new "stillness." Ru, it turns out, has always loved Posh. James gives a first-person account of his 24-hour Ring My Bell extravaganza, and perhaps names your city. License to Wed. How stars are credited on movie posters. Michelle Pfeiffer. Underdog. The word "green." There's nothing green about Madonna. Or the podcast, for that matter. Hold on – the Pod Squad isn't watching TV anymore? They're tired of it. Except for Big Love. And some other shows. James' new mattress pad and sheets are so comfy he slept for 48 hours. Las Vegas, Palm Springs. Fenton's baby. Michael Jackson's son Blanket. Speculating on the quality of Jackson's children's daily lives. James remembers Flowers in the Attic, If There Be Thorns, and Petals on the Wind. Poor James is dreading going to a party for someone he loathes more than anyone. He writes down the name of the person and then offers clues to the identity. Pay attention, you might know him. It's not Billy Beyond. No matter how important you are, says James, no matter how big you get, there's always somebody bigger who can make you feel like crap. Case in point: when Madonna met Queen Elizabeth. How Brooke Astor got to be Brooke Astor. Will Angelina Jolie age into Teri Hatcher? Have Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt lost their looks, proving that you should be careful what you wish for? Can Pam Anderson ever go brunette? And what about that Gwen Stefani! Remember when Cher straddled the ship's cannon wearing only black dental floss? Shall the twain of young and old people ever meet? "After 40," announces James, "every year is like a month and it's like spinning down the drain; it gets faster the closer you get to death. It's true." And on that note

WOW Podcast 7-3-07

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"Here at World of Wonder, you don't need to have an iPhone because Tom Wolf has one for ALL of us," says Randy, looking cute in Madras shorts. "It's like being in high school and the coolest kid in the class has one." What's the defining moment of our generation? Is it the iPhone? The ATM? James says the ATM just had its 40th anniversary. Ah, memories. For the first time in the history of the WOW podcast (also celebrating its 40th year), everyone present has seen the same TV show: Hey Paula. (Word up, Pop Muse.) Could it be that Paula Abdul is suffering from early Alzheimer's? James says we saw it in Rita Hayworth, we saw it in Ronald Reagan – why has no one but him seen it in Paula? Is Randy old-fashioned in thinking it's drugs? Verdict: She's an unlikely and unlikable reality star. The Concert for Diana. James rhapsodizes over Take That! William and Harry. P Diddy. Kanye. Naomi on Oprah: creepy and weird. Does Oprah think beauty trumps intellect, thus her obsession with supermodels? Kid Nation – a reality-show Lord of the Flies set in a ghost town. Well, it's about time. James says he's fallen into the habit of spending his lunchtimes watching Murder, She Wrote. "Oh, that's good," purrs Randy, "that's calming." Casting Speed Racer in Speed Racer. Gay Pride in San Francisco. Feeling a responsibility to discuss Paris Hilton, no one has anything to say on the subject. "Case closed," says James, banging the table for emphasis. (But, of course, nothing could be further from the truth.) Anderson Pooper aka Mr Showers in His Underpants. Finger-banging fathers of Paris and Lindsay. Barron Hilton. Cornelia Guest a horsey horsewoman? Hmm, gay John Travolta doing drag – getting thisclose to who he really is? Oh, and Fenton's still in Vietnam. War is over.

WOW Podcast 6-6-07

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James, between engagements on his Freak Show tour, talks about his hectic, sleepless schedule, which involves talking talking talking about himself. "Do you have a little Chanel author suit?" asks Randy, his voice sexy from laryngitis. Funny he should ask: "There was just a sale at Dior," says James, launching into a description of the Vivienne Westwood "anus" shirt he bought. Also, James is reading Damage Control to prepare himself should he suddenly be embroiled in a sex scandal. You never know, he sagely informs. Paris Hilton vs Sarah Silverman. Feelings for and about Paris. Stars in prison. Stars in rehab. "It's a big celebrity colonic," says Randy. Shirley MacLaine vs Jane Fonda re Lindsay Lohan. The P Diddy song. The new White Stripes. The umbrella song. Enter Fenton, just back from the hospital where he endured being strapped down and having dye injected into his spine and a nerve probed with a long needle. But he is pleasantly horrified to open a package containing the new tell-all book by Ted Haggard's man whore. The people at Dutton, says James, are so happy with the sales of Freak Show that they've invited him over for cupcakes. While in New York, James spoke at the Public Library and wisely met with all the librarians from all the boroughs, one of whom was wearing Dior. The LA Times' "Home" section columnist David Keeps suddenly pops into the conference room and for a moment talk turns, as it will when Keeps is around, to spinning wheels, white lacquer, and chintz. Fenton lugs out a heavy swatch of Biba carpeting. Steven's hair, inspired by Jonathan Rhys Meyers' King Henry VIII. Oh, that recent scene on The Tudors with the king, the towel, and the page! James does Lindsay passed out in a hoodie. James evades answering where he went after leaving his WOW Freak Show party at 9:30. The Gehry buildings in New York. Lunch with Harvey Weinstein at Mr Chow? Randy discovers that if you want a hit TV show, put "Wife" or "Wives" in the title: The Starter Wife, Army Wives, Desperate Housewives, Footballers' Wives. The political debates. Hilary Clinton's face. "Bill Clinton," says Fenton. "It takes a real man to be a First Lady!"

WOW TV: Podcast 05-02-07

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James flaunts a giant faux blood diamond. Randy is amazed that in 2007 there's an Armand Van Helden remix of the Pop Tarts' "New York City Beat." Fenton unveils a framed blow-up of an Elizabethan-costumed James to be hung in the James St James guest room of his house – if there was one. Does Queen Elizabeth II have Sapphic tendencies? "She must," says Randy. Annie Leibowitz and Susan Sontag. James is hot for Spidey. Fenton briefly deconstructs part of the Spider-Man 3 trailer. "The leitmotif of these movies, the shit that sells them," he says, "is how they do the falling CGI scenes." Kevin Spacey's "a dreary screechy queen," says James – plus he makes for a dull villain. Fenton and The Seam. Blake on American Idol! – OMG, he gave Bon Jovi a good name! Oprah with Jim McGreevey's wife. Verdict: Oprah hates the gays. The Green thing. Vanity Fair's Green issue: How many trees did it use? Afraid-of-the-dark James, who sleeps with the lights on, fears he'll be the first to get strung up by the Green witch-hunters. Randy describes his fabulously fabulous retro experience on Disco Night at Oil Can Harry's in the Valley. People with tambourines! The Bump! Fans! Meanwhile, Fenton had been to Copycats in Palm Springs for an evening of "make-boylieve," and saw a former Madonna "Vogue" backup dancer impersonating Michael Jackson. Steven relates a bit of Coachella gossip. And James closes the Pod Squad meeting with his disastrous tale of being on a panel with wheelchair-bound Warhol star Holly Woodlawn and ancient drag legend Flawless Sabrina (The Queen, 1967) at a seminar on the history of drag at Cal Arts in Valencia. Didn't they know better than to leave drag queens alone in a dressing room with alcohol and makeup for six hours?

WOW TV: World of Wonder: Podcast 4-18-07

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Due to a series of technical aberrations (including, at one point, no sound!), we are bringing you last Thursday's podcast today. But that doesn't mean by any means that it's lost any of its pith and vinegar. For example, right off the bat James describes Reed Seligman, one of the Duke University students unfairly charged with rape, as "a hot younger version of Robert Chambers – remember how we all loved Robert Chambers?" We might be living now in a post-Imus age; should we be afraid to speak? Rosie. The media's descent on the Virginia Tech campus. Discussion. James describes to Randy and Steven the story of Cho Seung-Hui's disturbing play, which he read online. ("A howl from the soul!" – James St. James, WOW podcast.) The deaths of Kitty Carlisle Hart and Pat Buckley. Sons of Hollywood: Tori Spelling and Mimi LaRue's wide-set vagina. Randy, Candy. American Idol. Sanjaya. Blake. LeKisha. Melinda. Randy says he heard that Larry Birkhead is gay, and James freaks in disbelief. "They're coming out of the woodwork," says Randy. David Beckham's nude photo is debunked, dismissed. James wonders, if there had been reality shows back in the '60s, whether Jackie Kennedy and Babe Paley, say, would have participated and been exposed as "brats acting like assholes," as Nicole and Paris have been today. Fenton calls from Cannes, where Perez is internationally loved, according to Fenton. "Everyone's trying to do greeeeen," he says through the speakerphone. Doomsday? James mentions the "little LA literary scene" party he attended. Rumor is, says Fenton regarding the William and Kate split, that the queen doesn't like Middleton's mother. The Tudors. After Lost's season finale, says James, the show won't be back until January 2008. The WOW podcast, however, will be back later this week.

WOW TV: World of Wonder: Podcast 03-28-07

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James starts things off with The Secret, which he's been reading and has become rather quickly a positive-thinking slavish apostle of, despite being a self-described "cynical bitch by nature." Much discourse and debate (and some hilarity) ensue. Interesting point: Is The Secret a secret Scientology tract? Randy reveals his daily secret activity. Donny Osmond's The Great American Dream receives some discussion. Sanjaya's ponyhawk sparks superlatives from James, his arms thrown skyward, along the lines of "hairdo of the gods!" and "the Jackie Onassis of our times!" and "the Grace Kelly of 2007!" Gwen Stefani's career-damaging American Idol appearance. Dancing With the Stars. That backflip! James posits that perhaps "poor Heather Mills" is really the good guy and Paul McCartney is the monster – and an angry pod squad wrestles that thought to the ground and beats it to death with its own prosthetic leg. Interesting point from Fenton: What stands out in the singing competition is not the singing but the hair, and what stands out in the dancing competition is not the dancing but the leg. More chat on that, etc. James admits to having a jewelry hard-on from The Tudors the likes of which he hasn't had since 300. "History as just pornographic romp," says Fenton. "Why didn't we think of that?" In fact, James, bringing up The Secret again, says that since he's been chanting, "Tudor, Tudor, Tudor," for the last three months, he feels responsible for the series. Perez Hilton's high-school pics. Beverly Johnson's cold sore. The View feuds. Joy's change. Rosie doesn't embrace positivity, James believes. More opining on Rosie until James feels, he just feels he has gone too far. (By the way, that guy sitting up there? No idea. Ignore him.)

Podcast 03-21-07

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Angel hair. James instructs Brits Fenton and Steven on the English monarchy. American Idol. Sanjaya. Should it really be just about singing? Ryan and Blake. Chris. No talent is the talent. "All our celebrities are Sanjayas," realizes James. "Every single person out there...." "It's all pheremonical," says Fenton, "all lovely loveliness." Or, is it simply...us? Dancing With the Stars – that leg will come off, if she's smart. Randy readdresses Ryan and Simon's troubling exchange of last week, which leads to a discussion of the audiences who go to 300. Is blood a metaphor for ejaculate? James explains the battle of Thermopylae to the group. ANTM and Tyra Banks as a madwoman. "Modeling as a role model is such a bonkers idea," says Fenton. And this just in: When Fenton was in school, he ran a disco at the local mental hospital. His story of course leads James to talk of Justin Timberlake's penis, which leads to his theory of Britney's discovery of sex only after Justin. And we're left pondering the Paris ride vs the Britney ride.

WOW TV: World of Wonder: Podcast 3-15-07

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WARNING (or spoiler): This podcast contains a phone conversation with MICHAEL ALIG calling from prison.

James is not present today, nor can he be accounted for. But the pod must be cast. American Idol's gay moment: Did Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell engage in homophobic banter? Femalecentric sex tapes: What about us guys? "American Idol is the new Iraq," Fenton remembers James saying recently. "We can't get out of it and we can't stop talking about it." Diana Ross. Sanjaya Malakar. Whatever.... Suddenly, a voice sounds from the speaker phone on the table. "Hello?" It's Michael Alig calling from prison, where, as it turns out, the inmates also watch American Idol, 24, and the like. What are they talking about? Surprisingly, Anna Nicole and the controversy surrounding her death, but not Britney. What are they listening to? Michael is addicted to right-wing talk radio. Michael explains, in long-form, the circumstances before, during, and after his being robbed while he was in computer class. He may have a gallery show of the pharmaceutical paintings he's been making in his cell, a few of which Fenton just happens to have handy to show while Michael tells.

WOW TV: World of Wonder: Podcast 3-7-07

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The gang's all here this week. American Idol. What is the sexual trend of the naughts? Boys setting their pubic hair on fire on YouTube. Fence-plowing. Fergie. Is naff the new chic? Fenton's deconstruction of James' Shakespearean iconography. Dr Who. Oprah. Zahara as president one day. What is Justin Timberlake working through in his most recent video? Related: Cameron Diaz and the breadstick. Mandy Moore in Vanity Fair. The middle-aged man thing. Silver foxes. The Tudors. How Brody Jenner became famous. "Blogutantes." Britney. Surprise guest visit from WOW exec assistant with report on Christina Aguilera concert.

WOW TV: World of Wonder: Podcast 1-28-07

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It's just James and Steven today, don't ask. James finally saw Factory Girl. ("Painful to watch" – James St James, World of Wonder.) Speaking of Sienna Miller, what about those British females with furry faces, eh? Academy Awards deconstructed. Are Steve Martin and Jon Stewart a little too highbrow to ever host the show again? The gowns. Is Madonna a lush? American Idol: Chris Richardson, Blake, Nick, etc. Elizabeth fucking Hasselbeck and her insistence that what's written in the Bible is fact, and was written as the events occurred. Britney and everybody who ever did drugs with her. James gets Steven to almost tell his life story, but gets stuck on the early Scotland portion. Monster, the movie, if you remember. Black Snake Moa..., well, not really. Hayden Christensen tweaking in front of Rage. Gay sex in Oz? Steven tells James about Andre Leon Talley's involvement in Jennifer Hudson's unfortunate fashion fiasco at the Oscars, but James won't speak ill of Vogue's editor-at-large because he still holds out hope of being his best friend one day.

WOW TV: World of Wonder: Podcast 2-22-07

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Spoiler: Oprah, Madonna, and the Today show are not mentioned in this podcast. Jennifer Aniston's manly face and nipples. Farrah Fawcett's nipples. Anna Nicole's trial. Britney's umbrella attack. Kevin Federline and his friends. The judge awarding custody of Anna Nicole's body to Dannielynn. Larry Birkhead at Tori & Dean's garage sale. His hairdo. James certain that he knew Birkhead from the scene, that maybe they used to go to the movies together or something. The Academy Awards. James' reminiscences about traveling on party buses. Jennifer Hudson on the cover of Vogue, the magazine's worst cover ever, worse than the Renée Zellweger cover. "Andrew" Leon Tally doing red-carpet commentary at the Oscars. American Idol. Chris Daughtry. His eyebrows. Anna Nicole and the concept of famous corpses.

WOW TV: World of Wonder: Podcast 2/15/07

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Renée Zellweger on the cover of Vogue, with bunny. "Anna Nicole is more alive dead than she was alive," says Fenton, setting off a long and spirited discussion that at times sounds like a Robert Altman soundtrack. Fame. Hugh Grant elicits more heated discussion. James claims to have spent the weekend soaking in the 12 hours of extras that append the DVD release of Valley of the Dolls. Soaking. To Catch a Predator is a shocking, hateful, pornographic witch hunt of entrapment. HBO's Hookers. More Anna Nicole talk: Who should have intervened? Robbie Williams. Celebrity. And finally, a rather long quote about Brad Pitt is extrapolated by James. Is Pitt a bellwether for cultural change, as James suggests, or merely the blank canvas upon which the insane write bullshit, as Fenton says? Perhaps it's too soon to know.

WOW TV: Podcast 02/07/07

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James' TV-watching schedule from early morning to night includes news you can whack off to in the classroom. Brainstorm: a James St James Sell-a-Thon in which for 24 hours he tries to sell everything Party Monster, from DVDs to books to porno knockoffs. Paris and Britney on the cover of Newsweek. "Prostitots." Kim Kardashian. Cisco Adler's balls. WOW as the subject of an observational reality show? Would it work? Tom Sizemore. Lost. American Idol auditions and all that they represent. Jeffee Star. The Snickers ad that was pulled because fags protested is re-enacted by James and Steven. Notes on a Scandal is discussed at length, since all Pod Squad members have seen it. So Spoiler Alert if you haven't. And speaking of role models, James reminds you to buy his book, Freak Show, when it drops May 17.

WOW TV: World of Wonder: Podcast

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James is missing, but the podcast must go on. Matt and Katie, starts Randy, were like the Aspen tree of the Today show, but there's no connection at all between Matt and Meredith. The Today show should be called the Fat show, says Fenton. To Catch a Predator – a cesspool of morality. American Idol auditions are like Manhattan Cable. Freaks. Network execs. Pop divas vs soul divas. Diana Ross > Madonna > Paris Hilton. Warhol and Edie. Celebrities' stored junk for sale. Will the 21st-century bring a cure for celebrity? Who other than Joan and Linda could star in Legends? Shannen Doherty and Tori Spelling? RuPaul and Lady Bunny? Paris and Nicole? James and Michael? Robbie Williams. Feel. Armed and Famous. Celebrity fish out of water are so used to being out of water now that they've grown legs, says Steven.

Miss Podcast

Hail, hail, the gang's all queer here queer together again. Tara Reid, Tara Reid, Sundance was all about Tara Reid, says Randy. Son of Rambo. Miss Navajo. The Hiroshima Maiden was everywhere too. The bar at the Yarrow. The L Word's Eileen Chaiken. Zoo. A movie about a woman whose vagina has Teeth. No swag for Randy and Fenton. Randy tells the sad story of WOW vying with The Apprentice for Ugg boots one year. Dreamgirls not nominated for an Oscar. Abigail Breslin and the whole Little Miss Sunshine thing. Gary Coleman. Gary Coleman? Paris Hilton Exposed. Isaiah Washington in rehab for homophobia. James explains why the Porny Monster party was at the Spotlight, for God's sake. Posh and Becks coming to LA. Everyone in England now has the Posh bob (or "pob"), says Steven. Tragic Katie Holmes, poor sad thing spending $200,000 at Barneys and still not happy. Paris Hilton's star hinges on her mishaps, like Tom Cruise's hinges on his movies. Who will be the next Paris? What will she be? The Hills: James explains why it's just so wrong. (Watch podcast here)

WOW TV: Podcast

In the rain forest of gay-destination Costa Rica over the holidays, Randy flew through the trees with 45 gay men who were on a Zipline Tour, then enjoyed the gay monkeys on a nude beach. Later, he was approached by a guy in a bar there who wanted to know what exactly is on the cover of James' new book, re a previous WOW podcast. Is the Angelina-Manson rumor just a rumor? Druggies don't leave their houses when they're on binges because of the "tree police," says James, who is in possession of some cunning Leigh Bowery paper dolls. Notes on a Scandal – camp classic? Steven partied in London during the Xmas hols ("I left the house, though") and went to Trailer Trash, where there was a slideshow with pictures of James, his spreading fame from the rain forests of Costa Rica to the gay haunts of London now documented. Not surprising really. Which member of the Rosie-Trump-Barbara controversy is the truly duplicitous one? The "Match Game" and "Wheel of Fortune" slots and other reasons to visit Las Vegas with your father. Dirt. James and Thairin's New Year's Eve carouse: James, abandoned by Thairin and left to his own devices, dancing shirtless on a speaker at a circuit party? Billy Bush in a parking lot. "I like girls with horsey teeth," says Randy. "And underbites." (Click here)

WOW TV: WOW Podcast

In a bold, brave experiment, James St James takes on the WOW podcast alone, needing no one, wanting no one, yet strangely being everyone. Marvel how with just simple wardrobe changes, a knowledge of accents, a trace of lip gloss, a hint of blush, and a lifetime of eye shadow, James is able to transform himself into a veritable roundtable of personalities, each with its own personal history and mind set. (Click here)

Blood Podcast

James, Randy, and Steven ooh and ahh over the cover of James's new book, Freakshow, but they're prevented from showing it due to James's confidentiality agreement with the publisher. That's hot. And something on the cover that especially pleases them had to be custom-made in China. Hotter still. So thumbs up all round for artistic vision. Dreamgirls. Seems everyone in LA has already seen it at one screening or another, except Steven. James is going to the party in "Thunder" Early drag. Beyoncé. Jennifer Hudson's take on Dreamgirls on Wendy Williams's radio show. Janice Dickinson's 12 days of Christmas. Eighties drag queen Marilyn. James will be casting a wider net for friends on his MySpace, hoping to get it up...to 10,000 by January. Won't you help? The loud buzz on Pete Burns Unspun in the UK. Pete Burns's take on his show. The transgender on All My Children. Reichen vs Lance. Steven gets a sudden sun bath. Brad's distracting wrinkles in Babel. Leonardo's distracting accent in Blood Diamond. Jack Black. Marie Antoinette. Celebrities flashing pussy. Randy wonders, Are we living in the age of the pussy? And does it relate to The Da Vinci Code? L'Uomo Vogue shows models dressed like Michael Alig in his clubkid heyday. James Frey's art collection. D-lister Jenny McCarthy on The View, an A-lister only in her mind. Hey, where was Fenton this whole time?

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James St Sexy

Well, this made us laugh this morning. Someone's set a section of our yesterday's podcast to Justin Timberlake's "SexyBack," claiming "James is bringing sexy back," and we have to agree. Watch it here. (t/y Heather)

Podcast Royale

The AMAs. Apparently, Beyoncé's completely abandoned rhyming and is now singing stories like a six-year-old. The Pod Squad takes a moment to go nuts over Gwen Stefani. Then it's back to Beyoncé, Jay-Z, showgirls and the general Vegas feel of the awards – and Beyoncé's hamhocks! James demonstrates. Beyoncé vs Jennifer Hudson on Oprah. Clay vs Kelly. James tells the WHOLE story of what preceded that incident when Clay co-hosted on Regis and Kelly. Revealing! Rosie's remark. Michael Richards' "freestyling" racism. And what about Mel Gi