Shamboree

On Saturday, I went to a charity event called Reality Cares with my BFF Natalie Reid and my favorite jewelry queen Onch Movement. The event was at Joe's Cafe in Hollywood. Reality TV stars got together to raise money (and publicity) for a fantastic organization called Operation Smile. Janice Dickinson was the hostess. Attendees included Doctor 90210, Bridget and Holly (Girls Next Door), Leilenne (Flavor Of Love Girls: Charm School ), Bobby Trendy, Daniel DiCriscio (Ali G ), and lots of random contestants from from Amazing Race, Survivor, and American Idol. The night before the event, TMZ posted this video of Natalie talking about Operation Smile. Um, just so you know, it's COMEDIC ACTING! She's IMPERSONATING you-know-who for effect, but knowing that might not make the video as shocking or funny. So, never mind that part; she's completely serious!

– Sham Ibrahim

(Sham photos, from top: Natalie Reid and Daniel DiCriscio, Janice Dickinson, Brigitte and Holly with their new Onch Movement jewelry; Leilenne, Doctor 90210 and Sham)

Stars Are Blind

Sham Ibrahim writes:

Natalie Reid (the world-famous Paris Hilton impersonator) blew into town on Monday and she's busier than ever! She came to LA to tape a comedy segment on Comedy Central's Showbiz Show with David Spade and to promote the ABC TV show, The Next Best Thing, which she's a finalist on. Yesterday, we hung out with Natalie's new pal David Spade, who turned out to be really cool, really nice, and (of course) really really funny. Afterwards, we went with our favorite jewlery designer, Onch, to the Roosevelt Hotel for Paris Hilton's dear friend Caroline D'Amore's party for her 23rd birthday. As soon as we walked up to the door, we saw Kimberly Kardashian, who stopped dead in her tracks, stared directly at Natalie, and her jaw hit the floor. Natalie didn't notice Kimberly and sashayed past her through the back entrance. Then Rod's son, Sean Stewart, mockingly chanted "Oh look, everybody, it's Paris," and cackled as we walked in. Without missing a beat, Natalie told him, "Don't get horny!" Stupid-ass Sean and his jockish group of friends were speechless!

No Love from Courtney

I have never felt worse in all of my life. I've spent so many years worshiping Courtney Love and I went to see her show at the House of Blues Friday night. I arrived toward the end of the show, and I miraculously snuck in without a ticket. Afterwards, a bunch of people said they were going to a supposed after party at her manager's house. I couldn't fit in their car, so I hailed a cab and tried to follow. After we lost sight of their car, I went back to House of Blues, thinking I would run into someone I knew who could give me a ride, but everyone was pretty much gone. Then I noticed a frail blonde with a Betty Page haircut sitting on the bench at the front entrance digging through her purse and swearing. I realized it was Courtney Love herself. David LaChapelle and Sharon Gault (Madonna's old makeup artist) were assisting her in some sort of frantic search. I slowly approached and Courtney immediately snapped, "Can you give us some privacy?" I backed away and said hello to Sharon Gault. I reminded her that I'd met her at the World of Wonder offices a couple of weeks ago when David was shooting the Amy Winehouse video on Hollywood Blvd. Sharon was nice and polite and said she loved World of Wonder. Courtney continued to dig through her purse and I overheard her saying that she'd lost a $3,000 jacket inside the club and that Perez Hilton had taken pictures of her. I sat on the bench with Sharon while Courtney complained to David about her $3,000 loss. Then Courtney, David, and Sharon piled into a black town car. I followed in a cab. They ended up at the Chateau Marmont. I jumped out of the cab and said, "Hey, Courtney!" I was about to tell her that her show rocked and ask for one simple picture. That' s it. Before I could do that, she said, "Why is this ugly guy following me?" and sauntered into the hotel. The Chateau Marmont security promptly told me to leave the property. I cried hysterically all the way home. I know I often say in my posts here that so-and-so is my favorite person ever. But, seriously, I've loved Courtney since I was 11. I have every album she's ever done. I even have all the obscure tracks like "Retard Girl," "Beautiful Son," and "Sugar Coma." I am still crying as I'm writing this. What a horrible, horrible night. I want to flush my head down a toilet.

– Sham Ibrahim

Sham and Cheese!

Oops! Tuesday night star wars! Brigitte Nielsen, Shar Jackson, Charlene Tilton, and Jim J Bullock invaded Fu Bar last night for the taping of Ryan Glasgow's new pilot Put Your Money Where Your Microphone Is. I went with my dear friend Her Royal Highness Alexis Arquette. Although we arrived after Shar, Charlene, Jim, and all the cameras were gone, we were just in time for a few hours of karaoke and drinking with my favorite bombshell of all time Miss Brigitte Nielsen. Ryan, Alexis, beautiful Brigitte, her sexy Spanish husband, and I hung out in the Fu Bar back room for another few rounds while "bad to the bone" Brigitte talked about life, love, her children, and the future. I was deeply saddened to learn that one of Brigitte's four sons is dying of cancer, but excited when she told us that her 18-year-old is gay. There were lots of tears, laughter, and now, of course, a throbbing hangover. WOW!

– Sham Ibrahim

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

A couple of years ago I did an episode of Las Vegas in drag. The co-star of the episode was none other than boxing heavyweight champion Sugar Shane Mosely, who fought Oscar De La Hoya this past weekend for the big Cinco De Mayo World Championship boxing match on HBO. Although the other queens wanted their picture with Josh Duhamel, Nikki Cox, and Vanessa Marcellas, I was the only one who took a picture with Mr Sugar Shane. I thought he was incredibly hot and I was shocked to see my baby's daddy on television winning the fight this past Saturday! WOW!

– Sham Ibrahim

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

Hollywood Extra has taken a six-month hiatus, but I'm back with a vengeance and in all my background glory. Yesterday I worked on the greatest show on television of all time for any reason – UGLY BETTY! There are no accidents in the world. Brilliant and Legendary television happens for a reason. Although I am only a piss-ant extra, while standing around on stage 12 at Raleigh Studios, I noticed Jon Kinnally (executive producer and writer of Will & Grace) talking to fellow executive producer/writer Tracy Poust and high-end Broadway talent Stephen DeRosa. I had no idea Jon Kinnally and Tracy Poust were also co-execs on Ugly Betty. Gee. I paparazzied the three of them with my trusty digital camera (at left); then, without embarrassing myself too tragically, I also managed to get a picture with goddess Vanessa Williams and Mr Alan Dale (at right)! WOW!

– Sham Ibrahim

Navarro a Dull Moment

I went to Dave Navarro's Playboy Playmate Halloween Extravagnaza at the Highlands Nightclub Saturday night. My good friend Messy Stench took me to the party. Messy is from Chicago and she makes music. She's known Dave for a while and I suspect they have a secret crush on each other, but Messy denies it. Angelyne has also known Dave for several years and she tells me they have had great conversations about the meaning of life and out-of-body experiences. Anyways, the party was fun and Dave posted a pic of us on his website. I took one with my camera along with one of Jack of Jack-in-the-Box fame.

– Sham Ibrahim

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

Sham Ibrahim writes:

I haven't written Confessions for a while, because I re-opened my Friday night weekly extravaganza Gossip last month and I haven't done much else since. It's at a dyke bar in West Hollywood called The Palms.

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

OK, I am the most embarrassingly retarded person in the world. Three weeks ago, I worked on My Super Ex-Girlfriend as a drag queen, and I snapped a pic with Anna Faris. BEFORE I took the picture, this bitch named Rebecca told me that ANNA was MENA-fucking-SUVARI. I went up to Anna and I started my conversation with, like, "Hi MENA! I am such a huge fan of yours!" Thank GOD I didn't say "I loved you in American Pie." Anna never corrected me, so either she didn't notice or thought I was a total freak weirdo. (I sure as hell looked like one that day.) I called her Mena at least three times in our brief conversation. I have not written another blog item or left my house since, because I have been too goddamned embarrassed.

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

On Wednesday, I was booked as a drag queen (again) for some pick-up shots on a movie called My Super Ex-girlfriend starring Uma Thurman, Luke Wilson, and Mena Suvari. I don't know why director Ivan Reitman (Ghostbusters) needed a drag queen for the movie, because I stood around for nine hours and they didn't even use me! Maybe I looked too much like a train wreck (my drag always comes out kind of Courtney Loveish). Maybe they ran out of time, I'm not sure.

Anyway, we were shooting a street scene in downtown LA and there were lots of REAL homeless people wandering around near the set. I was told to wait across the street from where the actual shot was happening with a bunch of "deep background" extras until they were ready for me. To amuse myself while waiting for my starring role that never happened, I encouraged the homeless to walk through the shot with the deep background extras to see if production would notice. I must've gotten at least a dozen of them – with shopping carts – to walk alongside the extras. There was even a homeless midget who demanded $5 from me after he sauntered through the shot. It turns out no one on the production side noticed, so either those extras were completely off-camera, or this movie will have a lot of homeless cameos from downtown LA's finest!

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

Sham Ibrahim writes:

Madonna, Madonna, Madonna. The closest I've ever come to being an extra for her was on April 27, 2003, when I was a dying goth patient on an episode of ER. No, Madonna was not in any way, shape, or form a part of the episode of ER, but I'll explain the connection:

Madonna's episode of Will & Grace aired right BEFORE my (I like to refer to it as "mine," even though I'm not credited) episode of ER aired. Yes, we were on two different TV shows, but they did air on the same night and on the same network (NBC) side by side. Her episode of Will & Grace was (naturally) the highest-rated television show of the evening. MY episode of ER was the second highest-rated (over 18 million viewers). I know it's pathetic I feel so special about that, but if I ever got a casting call to play, oh I don't know, "piece of dirt in Madonna's fingernail" or "crap on the bottom of her shoe," I would JUMP at the opportunity! Alas, I've had no such luck as of yet.

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

Since George Michael has been so popular on the WOW Report lately, I’m going to write about a music video I did for him in 2003. The video was for his song "Freeek!" It was shot at Universal Studios and directed by Joseph Kahn. Our call time was 5PM and we didn’t finish shooting until nearly 6AM! It was one of those dreaded night shoots outdoors in the middle of winter.

I was booked as a “kissing couple” with my friend Angela. We were supposed to make out and simulate sex along with seven other “kissing couples.” While freezing your ass off in skimpy clothes during those late hours, a warm bed was more appealing than a half-naked person gyrating in front of you. Needless to say, no one was acting as scandalous as George and Joseph would have liked.

George Michael got on the loudspeaker and said “C’mon, get sexy! It’s not like you’re in a Beverly Hills police station in handcuffs,” referring to his men's-room jackoff scandal that seems never to go away. After a moment of forced laughter from all the extras (when the star makes a joke you had better find it hilarious), we got right back to our sexy dancing and turned the heat up while remaining cold and tired. The video looked spectacular in the end, and the song was quite good. Unfortunately, it didn’t put him back on top of the charts. Jacking his cock in a public bathroom and narcoleptic car crashing got him more attention. If he could combine those talents with his song writing skills, he might be onto something. (Watch high quality version

–Sham Ibrahim

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

About a month ago, I was booked as a Tijuana tranny hooker (only the best acting jobs for me, thank you) on a show called Criminal Minds. My favorite drag queen extra, Candice Cash, was also booked on this job. Candice used to weigh 400 lbs until she underwent gastric bypass surgery AND liposuction last year. I hadn’t seen her since she was drastically overweight and was surprised to see a trim, 200-lbs-lighter version of her. I guess this Tijuana hooker had some competition!

Thomas Gibson (Greg from Dharma & Greg) fell in LOVE with Candice and me. (He loved me more, but shh don’t tell Candice.) I told him “Don’t get horny” when we posed for pictures with him and he assured me he would try his hardest not to. I know he wanted my sexy tranny hooker body. It must’ve taken all his willpower to restrain himself from raping me. Candice was (naturally) jealous and she insisted he was in love with HER. Poor, delusional Candice.

Anyhow, when the episode aired, Candice insisted SHE was more of the star, but I know the camera could not resist my transsexual Mexican beauty. Watch the clip and decide who’s the REAL star of Criminal Minds! (Watch high-quality version)

– Sham Ibrahim

(In photographs, from left: Sham, Candy, Mandy Patinkin, Candy, Sham, Thomas Gibson)

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

At the end of 2001 I was hired as a paid groupie for an ABC live promotional Thanksgiving special on God Himself: Mick Jagger. My dear friend Asheligh Meyer and I were ushered into the El Rey Theatre along with 20 or so other cast groupies. As soon as we walked in we bumped into Meg Ryan. Jack Nicholson was seated behind a velvet rope at a private table. Naomi Campell was next to him. Toni Basil, Mick’s official stylist, was sorting through a wardrobe rack, looking chic and gorgeous in her couture leopard-print hat.

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

2001 and 2002 were all about music videos. I must've worked on over 200 of them during those two years. They were easy jobs where you stood next to rock stars, ate free food, and made $100-$300 for a day's "work".

The hot directors at the time were Mc G, Nigel Dick, Dave Meyers, and Joseph Kahn. I worked for all of them at least three times. The extras, the crew, and the casting directors were like one big alternative family, bouncing back and forth from one musician's music video to the next.

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

Being a recurring extra on a TV show is embarrassing because even though you’re on regularly you're still only an extra, but at least the cast and crew respect you a little more than they normally would since they have to see you so often. I worked on two shows this year as a recurring extra. One of them, What About Brian, will premiere on ABC this Sunday. The other one, the WB’s Related, has been airing for a season but looks like it might already be cancelled!

On What About Brian I’m one of four office workers in a video game company. On Related I’m a college student, and Spin City’s Jennifer Esposito is my favorite actress on the show. One day she was taking a final look at herself in the makeup mirror. She winked at her reflection and said “Total perfection” as she tossed her hair back and handed the mirror to the makeup artist. Love her! Another time, we were having breakfast and she was in curlers. I told her she still looked flawless, even at 7AM. “I know, I know. I’m gorgeous! I can’t help it!” she said. Joking.

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

Whenever those wacky Hollywood casting directors are looking for a "club kid," "drag queen," "punk rocker," or "DEAD BODY," I know I had better make myself available.

The first DEAD BODY job I did was on the final season of The X-Files. The year was 2000 and I had just joined SAG. I was one of those embarrassing extras who thought joining the union meant I was famous. "Hi, you’re Sham? Follow me, we need to get you into makeup right away," the AD said, handing me a white robe. I thought to myself, "Yes, throw some fake blood on me, take me straight to Agents Scully and Mulder, and have Fox assign me a publicist."

In a tone almost like a nurse's, the makeup assistant told me to get completely naked, with the exception of a cotton pad over my cock and balls. I was confused. I thought I would be shirtless only. Last time I checked they weren't showing ass on TV. The AD sternly explained that my higher base pay was for the nudity involved in the scene, they were behind schedule, and the last thing he needed was to argue with an extra about information I should’ve discussed with the casting agency. So I reluctantly did what I was told. "We go for realism on the show. If you died on your side the blood would have congealed and the bottom of you would be darker," the nice makeup ladies cheerfully explained as they airbrushed me. The makeup crew had won several Emmys for their talents, but it was hard to think about that at 6:30AM, while my naked body was being sprayed with freezing cold liquid makeup for four hours straight!

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

A New Feature by Sham Ibrahim

Bijou. Bijou! Bijou!! If you have something against the former drug addict/model you better just forget about it. This girl is going to be a goddess of the silver screen and a mega-superstar before you know it. How do I know this? No, it’s not my psychic intuition.

Last night I worked until 6AM as a hideous DRAG QUEEN on the set of Wizard of Gore, a film that wraps this week starring Crispin Glover, Kip Pardue, Paris Hilton, and gorgeous Bijou Phillips. A suave and charming young man named Jeremy Kasten was directing this modern-day remake. At first I thought Jeremy was one of the actors because he was wearing a three-piece suit; I’m so used to directors looking like they just rolled out of bed. But then I saw him giving direction to this tall, hot guy whom I recognized as Kip Pardue.

I looked like a circus freak, so I couldn't have cared less about proper on-set protocol. I grabbed Kip Pardue by the arm in the middle of his conversation with Jeremy. “Excuse me, I need a picture with my husband, Kip,” I blurted. This would’ve normally gotten me fired, but I guess everyone loves a clown! Kip was very nice and agreed to take the picture. I think Jeremy was so shocked by my look that he was just speechless. (See the pic and read more after the jump)

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

NEW FEATURE by Sham Ibrahim

About two years ago I worked for several weeks on a Hilary Duff movie called Raise Your Voice. Although I was almost 24 at the time, I was cast as a HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT in a summer music program. The first person I saw on the set was Hilary Duff herself. She was doing a scene where she had to cry. In between takes, she would dry her eyes, march over to the play-back monitor with great purpose, and examine the shot. She would nod yes or no to the director, Sean McNamara. Then, depending on her response, they would re-take the scene or move on. I loved how this flawless 16-year-old power queen was controlling the shots!

I went really over the top with my look because I was cast from a picture where I was wearing a multicolored new-wave, punk rock detachable weave. I overheard Hillary talking to actress Kat Dennings. They were saying I looked like David Bowie, but it sounded like they were purposely mispronouncing Bowie's name to imitate the way Avril Lavigne mispronounced it at the Grammys. Since they were talking about me I joined in their conversation. “Didn’t Avril Langreen say that at the Grammys?” I asked. Hilary burst out laughing. I didn’t realize I had mispronounced her name, but I did know Hilary and Avril were enemies. That seemed to earn me big points with Miss Duff. (After a few days of wearing my clownlike weave, I got lazy and ditched it, opting for my normal black hair. In the movie I look like two completely different extras!) (Watch the clip then continue reading after the jump)

Confessions of a Hollywood Extra

NEW FEATURE BY SHAM IBRAHIM

In 1999 when I was barely 18, I worked as a $60-a-night go-go dancer at a sleazy San Francisco nightclub. One night, a girl approached me and snapped a picture. She wrote down my number and mumbled something about Timothy Hutton. The next day, I was told I had been cast in a film and should report to "set" for my "call time" – 9:30 AM. "Camera ready."

I wore hideous club kid cliché to the set of Just One Night: purple hair, green lipstick, blue eye shadow, platform shoes, vinyl pants, and a shirt that resembled a Rubik's cube. I knew I wasn't the star of the film when I saw 200 or so other "club kids" standing around. The next indication was the voucher I filled out which classified me as "non-union" and established my pay rate at $45 for eight hours.

I would've left right then and there, but I spotted Udo Kier emerging from his trailer. He looked disheveled and irritated. I was convinced that if I talked to him he would put me in touch with Madonna and we'd all be best friends. When I approached him, however, he was totally disgusted. I shoved my phone number in his pocket and forced him to take a picture with me but he insisted on having the makeup girl in the photo. The rumor on the set was he had a nasty early morning drinking habit and was always in a foul mood.

My stripper friend Jenny had also been hired as an extra. She had already given the producer of the movie a blowjob in his trailer and had been doing coke with him all morning. She introduced me to him and he snagged me by the arm and seated me at a table with Timothy Hutton, Maria Grazia Cucinotta, and Seymour Cassel. The next thing I knew, the cameras were rolling. As quickly as it happened, someone yelled cut and my big scene was over. (Watch clip)