Ed Magaña's Friday Vid Bits

Ed had this notion today that you'd like to see Tom Waits at a press conference for his "Glitter and Doom" tour, Anderson Cooper color announcing a visit with a couple of bears, a guy back-flipping into his jeans, and the trailer for Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Was he right?

Itemizing: Children in the News

• San Francisco former priest and host of God Talk radio show admits to distributing kiddie porn via email.

• Arkansas woman, 41, gives birth to 18th child, who joins Joshua, Jennifer, Jana, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jeremiah, Jedidiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, and Johannah.

• A Minnesota principal suspends three eight-graders for sitting during the Pledge of Allegiance.

• Katie Holmes has "the itch" for another baby.

• A 37-year-old illegal immigrant is charged with the rape of a 10-year-old Idaho girl, who gave birth last month.

• Fashion addict Sarah Jessica Parker claims her five-year-old James Wilkie wears only hand-me-downs.

• Black vice principal of Trenton grade school makes Hispanic students eat lunch on gym floor.

Getting Ahead in Texas

Texans Matthew Richard Gonzalez, left, and Kevin Wade Jones, both 17, have been accused, along with a younger boy, of digging up the corpse of an 11-year-old who died in 1921, hacking off his head, and using the skull as a bong. It was Jones who spilled the story to the cops while being questioned about a car burglary. Police didn't believe him until they visited Gonzalez at home. "He regurgitated in his plate of food when I asked him about it," said a detective, "so I knew there was some truth to the story." Abuse of a corpse is a misdemeanor. The pot may be a diferent story. The skull is still missing. (AP; Chronicle)

Baby Picture

One of the interns here at World of Wonder is expecting a baby (who isn't?) and happens to have the same OB/GYN as Jamie Lynn Spears. The other afternoon, while waiting for the doctor to get back to her, she threw her gum into a wastebasket in the office and noticed someone had discarded a sonogram printout. Naturally she was curious. And naturally she brought it in for us to see. Click on the image for closer inspection. (t/y JM)

Men Are Such Babies

ManBabies is a new site that's like a mash-up of The Fly and a father-son version of Freaky Friday. Gone horribly wrong.

A-Tisket, A-Tasket

...a red-white-and-blue casket. Bill Bramanti, 67, recently ordered a custom-made Pabst Blue Ribbon-can coffin from Panozzo Bros Funeral Home in Chicago Heights, Illinois. And although it definitely will be the final resting place for his cold dead body, Bramanti figures it'll make a damn fine beer cooler until then. (Fox News)

Basque Remains

Aerial iPhone photo by Jamie Galloway of what's left after 40-foot flames destroyed the nightclub-restaurant Basque at Hollywood and Vine. Also lost in the fire, the adjoining Blood Shot tattoo parlor.

Who-ha

Whose bag is this sitting on the conference table at World of Wonder? Reveal after the jump.

Ed Magaña's Friday Vid Bits

This week, a delightful medley of music-based clips from Ed, beginning with the NSFW "Fucksticks" by the Ian Dury-like Kunt and the Gang, followed by the full-length Nike Football Next Level commercial, then the Festo Air Jelly robot jellyfish, followed by the Japanese fleet in an all-too-brief on-deck production of "Seaman Ship."

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Message

Geisha House, that Kutcher & co Asian eatery on the corner of Hollywood and Cherokee, which we can see from our window as we write this, has added giant white characters to its new, blinding-red paint job. We were pretty sure that since geishas are Japanese the writing would be Chinese, but no, it's really Japanese. The website LA Eater yesterday asked its readers to translate how they saw fit. (t/y Chris)

Breast Wishes

This camera-phone photo of WOW's executive assistant Lydia Rendon posing with two busty waitresses at Hooters is so murky it looks like a finger painting. Lydia's the one in the middle, if you can find the middle. The occasion for the lunchtime trip to the titty tavern was her birthday. "Hooters is 25 years old, just like me," said Lydia, who was accompanied by a posse from the office; the folks at WOW think it's a "hoot" to go there, espesh the girls.

Hollywood's New Hot Spot

Aftermath's a good name for a Stones album but not a particularly good scene for a news story. But there are still ashes strewn across the intersection of Hollywood & Vine, where the LAFD arrived at 5:30 this morning to spend hours fighting a blaze at the Basque nightclub, where no one we know has ever gone. Reports say the fire was spectacular. We dispatched our techie assist Steve Sims to take some shots when he was finished with the more important business of unfreezing helpless WOW staffers' keyboards and such.

Car Crush

Religious Fervor

Hundreds of Christian teens in a British Columbia church fell through the floor and into the basement while rocking out to the Christian band Starfield. (News Junkie)

The Bride Stripped Bare by Her Bachelors, Even

And they honeymooned in the ICU.

Where Do the Lights Go When They Go Out?

Joey Maiocco, last night around midnight, partied out and asleep in the tech/WOW Report office one flight up from the Storefront Gallery festivities. (Photo by Steve Sims)

America's Next Top Inmate

A woman stabbed and nearly killed one of the women gathered to watch America's Next Top Model in a Seattle apartment on Wednesday because she wouldn't stop talking. Police say the victim and her friends were drinking beer and watching the show when the attacker asked the chatterbox to stop talking and she refused. An argument ensued, hair was yanked out, and the woman took a paring knife from a nearby apple and began stabbing. Totally know how the killer felt, and it's why we prefer to watch the Oscars alone – because we don't want to go to prison. (Seattlepi)

Ed Magaña's Friday Vid Bits

Today, a mixed bag of earthly and unearthly delights: an orchestral roller coaster; an almost too literal interpretation of "Milkshake"; a new must-have magnetic plaything; and cooking with Coolio.

Video

Disappearing Acts

Orlando Brown has apologized for disappearing Tuesday night while on a trip to 7-Eleven. He turned up last night saying "it got a bit overwhelming and I needed to be alone," concerning not 7-Eleven, but a problem he'd had last week with a scheduled performance at LA's Club Tattoo. Other than his being a refugee from That's So Raven, we have no idea who this guy is. In more important news, that Brazilian priest who really disappeared in a flurry of helium balloons on Sunday is still really disappeared, his 80% chance of being found alive downgraded to a "tragedy foretold."

Itemizing

• Kelly Clarkson undresses in front of strangers. “I just really like being naked,” she says. (Geno's World)

• Don't hold your breath – that's David Blaine's oeuvre. (Insider)

• Steve-O is tired of being a jackass. (TMZ)

• That's so Brown. TV star Orlando Brown goes missing after trip to 7-Eleven. (People)

• Amy Winehouse voted ultimate heroine (with an e) by British youth. (NME)

• Russian hotel says "nyet" to Paris Hilton after seeing the writing on the wall. (Starpulse)

• Big Gay Al is single again, ladies. (ET Online)

Nearer to Thee

That Brazilian Roman Catholic priest who yesterday was lifted into the sky by a giant cluster of small multicolored helium-filled party balloons, then disappeared into the air, and eight hours later went officially missing, was trying to raise money to create a spiritual rest stop for truckers. Those priests and their love of rest-stop truckers! The religious dude is still missing today, and although a fire commander reckoned there was an 80% chance of his being alive, a newspaper reporter said, "What we're hearing now is that he did not know how to use his equipment, the GPS, and he was ill-prepared for his flight." (CBC News)

What Is This?

(t/y Eduardo)

Update: This video described and explained at BWE.tv.

Signs of the Cross

Pastor Roger Byrd at the Jonesville Church of God in Jonesville, South Carolina, caused quite a controversy when he posted a new message on the sign outside the church: "OBAMA OSAMA HMM ARE THEY BROTHERS? Pretty stupid, but Byrd says he just wanted to get people thinking. Which got us to thinking of the website where you can make your own church signage: Church Signage Generator. More fun than you had at vacation bible school. Scientology signs sold separately.

Manila Extract

In Case Somebody Should Ask

The very first photograph was this one, Joseph Nicéphore Niépce's View from the Window at Le Gras, taken in the village of Saint-Loup-de-Varennes, France, in 1826. It required an eight-hour exposure. So it was Niépce who invented photography. If anyone asks.

Ed Magaña's Friday Vid Bits

This week, it's a jumble. A nighttime scare on a sleeping friend, a bear playing ice hockey, flip-book animation, and that woman you've heard about who's sorting out her divorce on YouTube.

Radio Jerk

I'm no fan of Don Imus, but you have to give the old geezer his props. Even after all the hoopla over the nappy-headed hos comment, Imus continues to prove he has no problem speaking his mind and making controversial statements. He certainly put the shock back into the jock on this morning's show by saying that Barack Obama was almost a bigger pussy than Hillary Clinton! I wonder who or what will be more insulted, Barack, Hillary, or vaginas?

– AguynamedWayne

Fat Cat

Orazio, the 35-pound kitty in Eupilio, Italy, whom some call the real-life Garfield, says, "Can I has more pasta?" (Ananova; photo: Rex)

Naked Japanese Ladies in a Telephone Booth

Beating the Odds

It has come to light that men who ejaculate more than five times a week are a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life. Recent studies show that cancer-causing cells in the prostate don't build up in men who masturbate regularly, particularly in their 20s. That's masturbating, not sexual intercourse; with fucking there's always that possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted infection, which increases the risk of cancer. A researcher puts it simply: "It's a prostatic stagnation hypothesis. The more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them." Now here's a picture – go flush those ducts. (BBC News)

Liner Notes

As airlines reduce their fleets and cut back drastically on the quality of air travel, the cruise ship industry is insane with competition. Royal Caribbean is currently building the largest ocean liner ever built, ever. So big, in fact, that it will have a central park modeled after Central Park – complete with muggers, flashers, and a sheep meadow – with condo-style apartments overlooking it. (Daily Mail)

YouTune

A remote-control car + a sizable number of wine bottles = Mario Bros theme.

Berthday

Today is WOW production manager Jen Walter's birthday, a day also memorable for being the 96th anniversary of the Titanic sinking. To celebrate, there was an arrangement of 12 cupcakes in the shape of a fishhook in the conference room. Or maybe that's a J. (Photo by Steven Corfe)

Darth 'Vator

Nicholas White took the elevator in New York's McGraw-Hill Building back in '99 and got trapped inside the claustrophobic cage for 41 hours. The security cameras captured his ordeal (in the upper right-hand box). The pretty music and the funny stop-action reduce the sweaty panic we start to get watching the footage. (The New Yorker via Boing Boing)

Deity in Diapers

Sushma and Vinod Singh pose with their one-month-old daughter Lali at home in Saini Sunpura, outside New Delhi. "My daughter is fine – like any other child," says 23-year-old papa Vinod, apparently without irony. The child has two faces, you see, with a double set of fully functional features, as documented in this video. What's odder, though is that it's agreed by everyone in the village and beyond that the baby is a miraculous reincarnation of the mighty warrior goddess Durga; Durga, however, rides a lion and has 10 arms, but has only one face. So we don't get the connection. (CTV.ca; photo: AP)

FYI

Sticks are the new stickers, says Tom Wolf.

Why, the Very ID

Now Mr Suparman can finally buy his own six-pack of Singapore beer. (t/y Louis)

World of Wunder

Gerda Wunder does some housework, with no help from the bastard Mustafio.

DINNER WAS BITS AND SNACKS, NOTHING SPECIAL FOR MUSTAFIO. I PUT THE BASTARD IN THE BACKYARD TO WAIT FOR HIS SHOE SO I COULD FINISH UP CHORES. I SOAKED MY PAN, WIPED OFF THE COWNTER, AND THEN IN THE BATHROOM THE STOOL AND I FINISHED DESPITE HIS INTERUPTIONS AND VOCIFEROUS SUPPORT

WITH MUSTAFIO GONE THE HOUSE SMELLS LIKE FRESH BREAD SO THATS NICE. THERES NOT THAT MUCH MORE TO DO IN THE REST OF THE KICHEN. BELIVE ME IT LOOKS WORSE THAN IT IS. I STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE SOFA BED TO CLEAN THE CRUMS OUT BUT I WILL DO SO AT BEDTIME. ALTHOUGH I WONT DIE A MILYON DEATHS IF THE GUESTS LIE ON CRUMS IN TEH SOFABED. THERE NOT MY GUESTS< THERE THE BASTARDS. START DINNER PREPERASHUNS

I KLOBBERED MY FINGER GETTING THE IRERNING BORD INTO THE KICHEN, THERES NO ROOM FOR IT THERE BUT AT LEAST ITS OUT OF THE WAY OF THE TENENTS. AND WHILE I DO LACK THE UMMF TO DO A BOOT SALE I WILL DO SO OUT OF MY CAR WHEN THE WETHER IS MORE PREDIKTABLE

(t/y Jeff)

No More Commapostrophes!

Jeff Deck, our new hero, is traveling across the US removing and correcting punctuation and spelling gaffes in local signage. And blogging about it. Using chalk, markers, paint, and adhesive letters, he and three other members of the ad hoc Typo Eradication Advancement League will spend the next three months on a personal commercial-literacy mission. (Watch video of Deck on Hollywood Boulevard)

Hot and Cold

Hillary Clinton loves the gays! If elected president, Hills promises to work hard at eliminating the disparities for same-sex couples in federal law, including immigration and tax policies. And we hear that Obama has once again landed in hot water with the gays. This time it's the Philadelphia Gay News that has a beef with Obama. Their bold headline "Clinton talks; Obama balks" pretty much says it all. (Photo: AP)

– Aguynamedwayne

Ed Magaña's Friday Vid Bits

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Today, Ed delivers two songs you might not have heard before, and two late-night TV commercials that might not be authentic.

See Attached File

Open here. (t/y Steven)

Editor's Pet Peeve of the Day

Call us anal, but it irks us when people write the name of a magazine and capitalize the word "magazine." As in, say, Time Magazine or People Magazine. Unless "magazine" is part of the title, it takes a lower-case m.

World of Wunder

It's been a while, but the surreal story of Gerda Wunder and the bastard Mustafio continues verbatim. Weave mist it. (t/y Jeff)

I SAT NEXT TO A SLEEPING WOMAN ON THE BUS RIDE THAT WAS GOING GOING TO THE A MARTY GRAA. I THOUGHT I HAD THE BUS TO MYSELF SO I SAT IN THE FRONT AND MOVED MY STUFF TO THE ARTICULATED HALF. MUSTAFIO SAID IT MUST BE THE KIND WITH A FLEXABEL JOIN BETWEEN THE TWO SECTIONS. HIS CHATTER WOKE THE WOMAN UP AND SHE TOLD THE BASTARD TO STOP FOR HOT DOGS. MY PLATE HAD NO MEAT IN THE BUNS. MUSTAFIO SAID TO THE WOMAN, "NONE IN YOURS EITEHR?" SHE SAID "THE JAPANESE SOLDURS ONLY WANTED MEAT SO THATS ALL THEY ATE

MUSTAFIO LIED DOWN NEXT TO A FENDER BENDER SO HE COULD BE SOMEONE TO RESCUE. THEN WHEN THEY TRIED TO CARRY HIM TO THE AMBLIENCE HE MADE IT DIFFICULT BY TWISTING AROUND TO GET THE GUM OFF OF HIS SHOE. THEN WHEN THEY FINALLY GOT HIM IN HE COMPLAINED THERES NOT ENOUGH ROOM FOR HIM IN THE BACK. FINALY THEY LOCKED HIM THE AMBLIENCE LEAPED UP THE HIGH FRONT WALL AND THE BASTARD TOLD THE DRIVER, "WRONG PART OF THE WALL

Now there's a book!

Actors Sold Separately

If you didn't buy any of Britney Spears' wardrobe from her now-somehow-legendary guest appearance on How I Met Your Mother, don't miss out on this other CBS sale. Saturday on the Radford lot in Studio City, everything worn, sat on, thrown, married in, broken, eaten off, or ventriloquized on the soap Passions will be for sale. Nine strange years of stuff.

Wouldn't you like a chance to get a hold of Tabitha's bowl, Vincent's set of He/She costumes or Spike's pimp clothes, or the plastic fish guts that used to cover Kay when she came home from the cannery?

Have You Been Rickrolled Yet?

You have now, sort of.

What Ted Sed

On Charlie Rose's PBS show last night, CNN creator Ted Turner said that not taking drastic action now to stop global warming would be "catastrophic." "We'll be eight degrees hotter in not 10 but 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals." Two flaws in that statement: 1) Instead of "the rest of us," he should have said "people" because he won't be "us" in 30 or 40 years, and 2) everyone knows that appetites lessen in warmer weather. (NewsBusters)

LAX: Lord of the Rings?

Phil ST John writes:

When I heard about Mandi Hamlin, who was briefly detained at LAX because her nipple rings set off a metal detector, I got really angry. Hamlin, according to her attorney, was forced by snickering male TSA agents at LAX to remove one of her rings with a pliers. What the fuck is going on at LAX? I have been wearing a nipple ring for 10 years. I have never taken it off and have been advised against taking it out; I would have to be re-pierced. The few times I had a problem with my N ring triggering a metal detector, I'd tell the TSA agent, "It's a nipple ring" and that would be the end of it.

Spa, Shoot, and Swallow

Randy Barbato writes:

This weekend I decided to start a new part-time career. Spa hopping. I pamper myself all weekend, then write a fawning piece on the WOW Report and wait till said spa invites me back (for free!). When it comes to the Montage in Laguna Beach, my next trip will have to be on the house, because that's how much it costs to stay there.... Well, a down payment on a house.

BUT OMG! I LOVED LOVED LOVED IT! COMFY ROBES, BEAUTIFUL GARDENS, DELICIOUS FOOD, HOT STAFF, GORGEOUS ORIGINAL ARTWORK THROUGHOUT – I CANNOT WAIT TO GO BACK! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! Okay, can you invite me back now?

After a day of treatments we headed over to San Juan Capistrano to shoot and swallow. It was the 50th annual Swallows Day Parade in San Juan Capistrano, where we shot and swallowed all day long!

Jump for more photos:

Bigfoot Touched Him Inappropriately

Virginia child molester claims he was molested as a child himself – by Bigfoot. Can anyone prove he wasn't? (Heckler Spray)

Auto Erotic

It's come to light that Formula One boss Max Mosley, 67, has been engaged in Nazi-flavored, German-language orgies involving five prostitutes and reenactments of WWII concentration camp activities. Mosley, the son of British fascist leader Oswald Mosley, has been asked to resign as president of FiA, Formula One's governing body.

The allegations are based on a five-hour video obtained by the [News of the World], which shows a man identified as Max Mosley acting out various sadomasochistic role-plays in a London apartment. One prostitute inspects the man's genitals and searches his hair for lice in an obscene parody of the treatment of concentration camp inmates during the Third Reich. The man is whipped by one dominatrix before himself whipping two prostitutes wearing concentration camp-style striped uniforms.

Mosley finishes off the session with a cup of tea. Not surprisingly, Jewish leaders have condemned the goings-on. "This is sick and depraved," said Karen Pollock, chief executive of the Holocaust Educational Trust. “I am absolutely appalled.” (Spiegel; Jalopnik; t/y Phil)

Bang Related

There was a time in Los Angeles, back in the early '90s, when there were so many random drive-by shootings on the freeways that getting shot on the highway became as iconic to LA as the Marlboro billboard on Sunset Boulevard. But the billboard eventually came down, and the shootings stopped almost as suddenly as they'd started. The trend played out, as trends will. But do we smell early signs of its return?

Hot Shit

Completely absurd. A Road Runner for our time. (t/y Sara)

Stab Hunter

Last night a guy was stabbed inside the Mood nightclub, ran outside, and collapsed a few doors down in front of the Geisha House, both trendy spots on Hollywood Boulevard and both clearly seen from the windows of World of Wonder across the street. Too bad no one's in the WOW building at night and there's no activity at Mood or Geisha House during the day. So we have to read about and see the hubbub on TMZ, whose operatives are on the prey both di- and nocturnally.