KFC: Kiss From Chris

The photos last week of Rihanna and Chris Brown making out at a Miami KFC inspired the chicken chain's chief marketing officer to fire off a letter to the "Umbrella" girl: "Clearly, like our founder Colonel Sanders, you two know how to kick it up a few degrees," he wrote. "We could feel the heat – literally – in our restaurant that night. So much so that we'd like to invite you and Chris back to any KFC for a free meal." And if they go at it again when they come in to redeem their bucket o' beaks, he promised that the Colonel will make a donation to the chain's Believe charity for underprivileged kids. (Page Six; photos: Splash News)

Bread and Shoulders

Twenty-eight-year-old fine arts master's degree student, Kittiwat Unarrom, makes battered hands and feet, beaten heads, and other distressed limbs and organs out of bread at the family bakery in Ratchaburi, Thailand. It's art. And tasty. More photos after the jump. (Food Mall; Inventor Spot)

Why Vegetables Are So Good for You

Meateaters from Tiny Tenants by Laura Plansker. (t/y Jane)

Foodscapes

Photographer Carl Warner's landscapes made entirely of food are like postcards from delicious vacation spots. (Food Evaluation; t/y Lydia)

Bringing Home the Wallet

Is a bacon wallet really that different from one made of pigskin? Yes – it's more delicious! (via LAist; photo by Heath Biter; t/y Steven)

Breakfast Nookie

Supporting our theory that everything tastes better wrapped in bacon, Found Shit presents the bacon bra. (Previously)

Do Fries Come With That?

New York's Old Homestead Steakhouse's $81 Kobe burger (14 ounces of ground Japanese Kobe wagyu with 4 ounces of barely seared sirloin medallion tucked inside) has made Daniel Boulud's $32 foie gras burger seem like something from Wendy's drive-thru. (WCBSTV)

Snap!

We just came back from the WOW pizza party on the third floor. As Steven Corfe, who took this picture of intern extraordinaire Mindy, said "When World of Wonder has a pizza party, it takes a whole lotta pizza to feed the World."

Think Inside the Box

Side-by-side presentations of food package photography and the disappointing products inside. Hilarious or disturbing? (Pundo3000 via Funtasticus)

Choc Horror

Hell's Kitchen bully and blasphemer Gordon Ramsay has his own line of chocolates, called Secrets. Ramsay is as uncharitable about his own sweeties as he is about most things: "I don't think you are going to be blown away at £3.99-odd for a box," he told the Daily Mail. But apparently they sell about half a million boxes a year in Blighty, and have been on the market for about five years. Who knew? There are no plans to launch Secrets in the States.

– Fenton Bailey

Bag Lunch

Handbag cake, $160 from Dean & Deluca. Sweet! (t/y Fenton)

Eat Me

World of Wonder's production manager Jen Walter fell so in love with her lunch today she had to photograph it. "And wait until you see pictures of the pie I made last night," she said.

The Hamburger of Dorian Gray

What ever it is McDonald's is putting in its food – if in fact it is food – it's very likely the secret of eternal youth. Not in a good way, but certainly in a verrrry curious science-fiction way. (t/y Thairin)

Sitings

How to make bacon cups. From the good people at not martha. (t/y Eduardo)

Boots With The Furrrrr...

Nelly celebrated the 5th anniversary of Apple Bottom jeans with a big-assed cake at TAO in Vegas last night. Here at World of Wonder, we prefer our ass cakes to be a little more hole-some. (TheYBF.com)

WOW Love Connections II

Another WOW Love Connection; Assistant to the Chief Technology Officer Joey Maiocco. Interested? Email wowreport@worldofwonder.net.

SWM

Early 20s

Likes: Long walks on the beach. Nothing else.

Looking for: SWFs into military / uniform play.

2elephants1trunk

You think this is something? You should see the reaction videos. (t/y Blake)

Take Another Little Pizza My Heart

Today around lunchtime, for no discernible reason other than old-school niceness, WOW's office manager Jeff Pickett and your WOW Report editor received a prepaid pizza delivery from the very tasty comedienne Deven Green, notorious voice of Brenda Dickson and face of Mrs Betty Bowers. And wouldn't you know? – it tasted just like chicken. We thank you, O Queen of the Vagine. Really, we don't know why people aren't gifting bloggers more frequently.

Pie Day

We asked our long-lost colleague, exclamation point lover and national-day observer Moye Ishimoto, to write something about today being National Pie Day and she responded, bless her.

Hey, kids! Guess what? TODAY IS PIE DAY!!! (Thanks for the reminder, Stephen). I’m really upset at myself that I totally forgot about Pie Day. I mean, pie is so delicious and wonderful that every day should be Pie Day, but how could I have forgotten about the nationally celebrated day of pie!

I know I talked about this before, so I don’t want to repeat myself. But what exactly is Pie Day? I have no fucking clue. Google pointed me to the American Pie Council, who stated that the purpose of Pie Day was to celebrate random acts of kindness pieness and remind everyone to be nice and not say things like, “Wow, that Heath Ledger really deserved to die.” Because that would be horrible. Really, Moye, I can’t believe you just typed that out. Anyway, who better to share the pieness than with my bestest friends in the whole world? Here (after the jump) are their recorded responses from IM:

Bono Appétit

U2's well-rounded Bono was in Paris for a conference with President Sarkozy to discuss getting more pounds distributed to the Third World poor, and it looked like he might have had those very pounds strapped to his belly, so fat was he. "Bono has always been pretty rakish and chiseled," said an onlooker. "But when he arrived at the press conference it was immediately clear he had put on a few pounds." The pompous Irishman who to his credit is a constant campaigner for the underprivileged and has helped raise millions for African relief, has recently been accused of hypocrisy because of his $2 billion investment in a series of personal money-making ventures and his impressive property portfolio which includes a villa in the South of France, an Italian-style palazzo overlooking the sea near Dublin, and a $30-million penthouse in New York. (Daily Mail; photo: Rex)

Health Nut

These days, when he's not volunteering his time helping Amy Winehouse conquer her demons, Pete Doherty is getting in shape to run the London marathon. Really? Well, his spokesman said, "There is some truth to this – you never know what could happen." Of course, we do know exactly what could happen, but we always like to think positive. Out of shape and the worst for wear, Doherty has taken to running everyday with his landlord in Marlborough, Wiltshire, as a way to lose the weight he gained in rehab and from recently eating large quantities of mince pies, his new obsession. "It is going to be mince pies for me this Christmas," he said. "I have got a massive order on the way." (Source)

Cute Enough to Eat

Our friends at PR Photos sent us this hot cookie for the holidays. James St James and Cooper Green competed to see how many licks it would take to get to the center of Zac Efron.

– Glenn Gaylord

Sentence Commuted

May, this year's national turkey, had her sentence ceremonially commuted today by George Bush in the Rose Garden at the White House and will not become anyone's Thanksgiving dinner. Flower, another turkey, was also pardoned. The Comeback is still canceled. (Photo: UPI/Roger L Wollenberg)

Say What You Will About Celine Dion...

Page Six reports that she ordered 14 dishes of ravioli with tomatoes and peppers from Da Tommaso restaurant on Eighth Avenue in New York and paid the $500 tab in cash, with a $100 tip to the waiter who brought the food out to her waiting car.

Holiday Alternabirds

For the turkeyphobe, Danielle Spencer has prepared a variety of Thanksgiving birds that could offend only the palate, including those made of guacamole (pictured), Roquefort mousse, risotto, mac 'n' cheese, sushi, and Spam. (via Boing Boing via Gothamist; t/y Chris)

WOW's Turkeyless Thanksgiving Pot Luck Lunch

Nothing Says Loving Like Something from the Afterlife

Not since the Warhol Brillo boxes has an article of cardboard packaging so affected me. Behold the Linda McCartney pizza box. Who knew that Linda McCartney was selling pizza from the grave? Certainly not I, until she summoned me from the freezer section at Whole Foods. I fired up the Linda McCartney Mushroom & Spinach Pizza last night, and it was, indeed, delicious – just what you would expect from any all-natural Linda McCartney item. Afterward, I just couldn’t bring myself to throw the box into the recycling bin. Something was gnawing at me. So many layers of meaning. So much synchronicity. My head was spinning. Like, everyday I read a new item on the blogs about how Heather Mills is such a hellish-harridan-whore-bitch-nasty hag, right? And then, suddenly, here’s Linda, enticing me through the smoky window of the frozen foods freezer. Ahhh, Linda... blonde, ethereal, eternal hippie. Mother of Stella. Linda doesn’t have to scream to the press to be heard. She doesn’t have to whore herself out to some vulgar “dancing celebrities” TV show. No no. Linda speaks in a whisper of tangy cheese with no trans fats and a crunchy crust made with no white flour or yeast. Even from the Great Beyond, Linda remains the nurturing earth mother, feeding us pizza that tastes good AND is good for us. Linda is everything Heather will never be. Even when she’s a pizza…box.

– Harry Redlich

Cakehole

Today was What Perez Sez field director Glenn Gaylord's birthday, so Team Perez clubbed together and bought him a delightful asshole cake. After a delicate fingering, Glenn got carried away and gave the erotic cake a full-blown fisting. Needless to say, the rest of the team nibbled delicately around the edge of the cake after the aforementioned fisting. Happy birthday, Glenn!

– Text and photos by Steven Corfe

What's That in Henry Rollins' Freezer?

If he's smart – and he is – Rollins will not hack up, package, and freeze this annoying, ear-piercing chick with the camera. But he's gotta be thinking about it. Click here. (via b3ta)

Corny Story

I have a weakness for candy corn, always have and always will. It turns out that Tammy Faye had a weakness for it too. It was Halloween, seven years ago, and Fenton and I were having a little dinner party. There was a well-stocked bowl of candy corn on the coffee table. We were sitting around gorging ourselves when Tammy suggested that each color of the corn was a different flavor. "I love to eat each flavor, one at a time," she said. It was a revelation. To this day, I make certain that there is a big bowl of candy corn in my house during the trick-or-treat season. Life is sweet!

– Randy Barbato

(Ed note: To learn how to make the candy corn sex toys shown above, click here)

The McPumpkin

(t/y Billy)

The Write Stuff

In PETA's continuing war against KFC, the People have come up with a Colonel Sanders bobblehead pen that will surely put the fear of God into the fried chicken franchise, which will soon be receiving a shitload of them in the mail. (Page Six; PETA)

All Shook Up

Director David Lynch was so smitten with aka addicted to the "ding-danged good" milkshakes at Bob's Big Boy in Burbank that he crawled into the Dumpster out back to retrieve the packaging the mix came in. Sadly, says Inland Empire costar Jordan Ladd in Dune magazine, the Dumpster diva discovered all the ingredients ended with -zine or -ate and Lynch was freaked and has since gone cold turkey. And we naively thought milkshakes were just milk and ice cream, shaken. (Page Six)

The Fries of Tori Spelling

Steven Corfe writes:

I headed over to the Los Angeles County Fair yesterday at lunchtime for a sampling of Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's new business venture: healthy gourmet fries served from their fry shack on wheels, called Small Fry. As I arrived, their cute little shack was surrounded by high drama – drama which we covered and you're going to have to tune in to the couple's reality show to find out what it was. So, with a protesting Tori and Dean finding themselves on the no-fry list, I headed deep into the fairgrounds, fighting my way through funnel cakes and cameltoes, to bring the cast and crew a sampling of some of the other, less healthy fried fare for sale. Watch Small Fry sizzle into business this season on Tori & Dean: Inn Love, Tuesdays at 10p/9C on Oxygen.

Tori and Dean manning Small Fry • The fair's other choices, other fries: fried onion flower, fried Coca-Cola, fried frogs' legs, fried Twinkies, fried Oreos

Steven Corfe bites into a fried frog's leg • Inn Love's field producer John Hill, supervising producer Chris McKim, and associate producer Kristin Rasmussen sample the fried Coke • producer/field director Michael Call chews a fried Oreo. (All photos by Steven Corfe, except the the obvious one by Dwight Armstrong)

Chili Today for a Hot Tamale

Cans cans cans. Eva Longoria, shopping at a Vons in LA, fills her cart with lots of chili. (via The Skinny)

Gravy Yards

Vegansexuals are people who do not eat meat or animal products and choose not to be sexually intimate with non-vegans whose bodies they say are made up of dead animals. "It's a whole new thing, I have not come across it before," said Annie Potts, who coined the term after researching "cruelty-free consumers" for the New Zealand Centre for Human and Animal Studies at Canterbury University, asking 157 people about such things as battery hens and sexual preferences. Many women described being attracted to meat-eaters (whom we'll coin right now as "canivoracious") but said they wouldn't have sex with them because their bodies were made up of animal carcasses. "I believe we are what we consume, so I really struggle with bodily fluids, especially sexually," said one. "I would not want to be intimate with someone whose body is literally made up from the bodies of others who have died for their sustenance," she said. "When you are vegan or vegetarian," said another, "you are very aware that when people eat a meaty diet, they are kind of a graveyard for animals." OK, we get it. We don't want to have sex with you either. You look like that and smell like garlic. (Sauce; photo: Stacy Squires/The Press; t/y Eduardo)

Fry Dat Chicken!

"Lol," says James St James, bearer of this clip. Nuff said.

It's Not What You Make It's the Way That You Make It: Bread Edition

Remember, a lot of brown bread is just white bread colored brown. (t/y Eduardo)

Eat Me!

It's been a while since I've posted a recipe on the WOW Report but I'm inspired again after talking to my mom on the phone yesterday. Yes, I wished her a happy father's day. My friends Andrew Schnider and Mathu Anderson stopped by the backyard to get GRILLED a couple of times this weekend. On their first visit, Mathu asked if I'd ever had or tasted ONION BUTTER. I'm always one to have my palate expanded and stimulated, especially by friends and family I enjoy eating with. So the next day I got up and ran to the Attwater Farmers market and stocked up on onions and had a go at it. When they came over the next day for lunch (and hot bread), we sat down and tried it together. Mathu's note: Good, but put on for one more hour. And it was heaven. So super simple and sooooooo easy to make. Try it.

5 sweet Maui onions, diced small
1 red onion, diced small

Put all onions in pan, no butter, no oil, no seasonings – just the onions by themselves.
Put pan over heat source for 3 hours, medium heat.
If you're like me, you'll put it in a cast iron pot on HIGH heat and caramelize the fucker for 3 hours.

It's so effing good. I ate almost all of it by myself. So sweet, so good, so gone. Thanks, Mathu.

– Text and photo by Thairin Smothers