Candy, Darling

Tori Spelling's mother, Candy Spelling, has written a tiny tell-all of her own in today's Huffington Post. Here's an excerpt from "My Daughter Makes My Purse Shake," soon to be a major motion picture:

Ah, that explained why my purse was shaking the locker. Whenever Tori was on TV, I got a flood of phone calls. I wanted more pre-op drugs. My daughter's book had just come out, and I had been barraged with phone calls, emails, letters and strangers in restaurants reporting what she was saying. Now I was imagining that even the hospital medical staff was talking about the book.

"Hi, Candy," my surgeon said. "Just watched Tori. She said you and she have a good and non-confrontational relationship."

"Where's the anesthesiologist?" I asked. "Something is wrong with the anesthetic. It's not working."

I thought I heard someone say something about why Tori thought she could get an inheritance when her mother was still alive. "Kids don't get inheritances until both parents pass, and the mother looks quite healthy," one of the operating room experts declared to another.

More drugs. More drugs.

(More Candy)

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