March 13, 2008
Word Salad
Keith Olbermann gave his "Special Comment" last night on Hillary. Previously, I would watch these segments and think he was angry and self-serious and indignant and hear it in his voice and all these words would spill out of the hole in his head and my heart would race, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. It's word salad. Meaningless, upmarket noise that makes me feel like I'm listening to something relevant even if I'm not. Like COLDPLAY! So then I decided to change the channel to real news. But oh my God, has anyone tried to watch real news lately? I TiVo'd BBC News America (which is the closest thing we have to real news in this country) and I was like a child off the meds... staring at the ceiling... imagining shiny objects dancing around the living room... desperately hoping a helicopter would crash on my front lawn... pondering the notion of lighting a match to the living room curtains and then wondering if I could put out the blaze before the whole house went up in smoke. (Isn't that a variation on Munchhausen Syndrome? Whatever.) ANYTHING to avoid THE NEWS. Darfur? Iraq? Kenya? Medvedev... WTF? I had to turn it off. So boring! So while the Barbarians might be at the gate, I'm not going to worry! I'm just going to keep watching that Vaudevillian master of newstainment Keith Olbermann and his Angry Word Salad because who cares if he's actually saying anything as long as he's angry and sounds like he is, and it makes me look and feel enraged and "involved" while sitting on my leather sofa sipping Pinot Noir. Hey. At least I'm not plotting to burn down the house.
– Ray Cochran
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