Spa, Shoot, and Swallow

Randy Barbato writes:

This weekend I decided to start a new part-time career. Spa hopping. I pamper myself all weekend, then write a fawning piece on the WOW Report and wait till said spa invites me back (for free!). When it comes to the Montage in Laguna Beach, my next trip will have to be on the house, because that's how much it costs to stay there.... Well, a down payment on a house.

BUT OMG! I LOVED LOVED LOVED IT! COMFY ROBES, BEAUTIFUL GARDENS, DELICIOUS FOOD, HOT STAFF, GORGEOUS ORIGINAL ARTWORK THROUGHOUT – I CANNOT WAIT TO GO BACK! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT! Okay, can you invite me back now?

After a day of treatments we headed over to San Juan Capistrano to shoot and swallow. It was the 50th annual Swallows Day Parade in San Juan Capistrano, where we shot and swallowed all day long!

Jump for more photos:

Snap! Cap

Needs caption. Click to enlarge.

Bigfoot Touched Him Inappropriately

Virginia child molester claims he was molested as a child himself – by Bigfoot. Can anyone prove he wasn't? (Heckler Spray)

TiVo 911

Pregnant man Thomas Beatie chats with Oprah on Thursday. New Kids on the Block reunite on Friday's Today.

Who Am I?

Reveal after the jump.

On the Reservoir Tip

Trojan, arguably the most well-known of the latex slip covers, is offering Johnny Depp $10 million to become the public face of male contraception. And when they say "face" they mean "penis." Says a spokesman for the rubber company: "There's no one bigger than Johnny." (Agent Bedhead)

Auto Erotic

It's come to light that Formula One boss Max Mosley, 67, has been engaged in Nazi-flavored, German-language orgies involving five prostitutes and reenactments of WWII concentration camp activities. Mosley, the son of British fascist leader Oswald Mosley, has been asked to resign as president of FiA, Formula One's governing body.

The allegations are based on a five-hour video obtained by the [News of the World], which shows a man identified as Max Mosley acting out various sadomasochistic role-plays in a London apartment. One prostitute inspects the man's genitals and searches his hair for lice in an obscene parody of the treatment of concentration camp inmates during the Third Reich. The man is whipped by one dominatrix before himself whipping two prostitutes wearing concentration camp-style striped uniforms.

Mosley finishes off the session with a cup of tea. Not surprisingly, Jewish leaders have condemned the goings-on. "This is sick and depraved," said Karen Pollock, chief executive of the Holocaust Educational Trust. “I am absolutely appalled.” (Spiegel; Jalopnik; t/y Phil)

Pedophile Beards

And by "pedophile beards" we don't mean "wives."

Quote Unquote

“I wasn’t a hippie or a stoner, so I ended up being the weirdo. I was interested in classical ballet and music, and the kids were quite mean if you were different. I was one of those people that people were mean to. I decided to emphasize my differences. I didn’t shave my legs. I had hair growing under my arms. I refused to wear makeup, or fit the ideal of what a conventionally pretty girl would look like. So of course I was tortured even more. [But it] further validated my superiority, and helped me to survive and say, 'I’m getting out of here, and everyone is a heathen in this school!' " – Madonna to Vanity Fair on her Detroit upbringing.

Transamerican Love Story

Tonight! On Transamerican Love Story on Logo at 10PM! Season recap! Episode 7 features show host Alec Mapa reviewing highlights and lowlights of the last six eps, including never-before-seen interviews with Calpernia Addams and the finalists, which would be considered highlights. Episode 7 is the penultimate experience! (Photo: Andrea James, TLS producer Sara Jandrain, and Calpernia Addams)

Tori Tells Tyra

Bang Related

There was a time in Los Angeles, back in the early '90s, when there were so many random drive-by shootings on the freeways that getting shot on the highway became as iconic to LA as the Marlboro billboard on Sunset Boulevard. But the billboard eventually came down, and the shootings stopped almost as suddenly as they'd started. The trend played out, as trends will. But do we smell early signs of its return?

She's Got Amy Winehouse Eyes

Yakkity Yak

It's a mystery to us how Björk has survived so long, considering how impossible it is to listen to her caterwauling for even a minute, yet her latest video, "Wanderlust," offers over seven minutes of musical torture accompanied by fantastical animated dementia. Perhaps other people, like us, turn off the sound and just look at the pictures. This one was shot in 3-D. (Info at Gothamist)

Words Fail Him

Keith Richards' autobiography will most likely be a slim volume. He can't remember a thing. (Source)

Kids Today

Jon and Christine Peters want to keep their 19-year-old daughter Caleigh away from Rod Stewart's bad-boy son Sean, 27. Which could be difficult. Seems she likes 'em wild; Caleigh was in the car when Paris Hilton's 18-year-old brother, Barron, was arrested for drunk driving. At least it was his car. Sean Stewart, who was arrested last year for assaulting a couple with a brick, stole Jon Peters' Escalade and held it hostage until Caleigh could come and get it. When Peters reported it stolen, Stewart abandoned it in the Les Deux parking lot. Which is also the World of Wonder parking lot. Now we know who that black Escalade belonged to. (via Page Six)

Don't Film It Again, Sam

Madonna wants to remake Casablanca and set it in Iraq. And, at 50, she'll play Ilsa, the part Ingrid Bergman played in her 20s. Hollywood's not buying it. But you know Madonna. (Daily Mail)

The Jig Is Up

Ashlee Simpson's people are saying she won't be promoting her new album on Saturday Night Live when it drops "because they're dark the week we are here in April and there were no other opportunities later in the year." But word from SNL is that they said no to Daddy-manager Joe Simpson. Not only did she embarrass herself and the show when she was exposed lipsynching back in 2004, but she was reportedly a "pain." (Page Six; photo: INF/GOFF)

Party Girl

George Clooney's girlfriend Sarah Larson recently worked in Las Vegas, paid by nightclub promoters to party with other girls at special events. A series of photos taken in July last year, a month after she met Clooney, have surfaced, including the one above of Larson in a black bikini. "That's our Sarah!" a source tells Star. "That's the Sarah everyone in Vegas remembers, not the girl dressed in Valentino minding her manners for the cameras with George at the Oscars!" More photos are on the NSFW site Last Night's Party. (via Egotastic!)

Birthylicious

Fergie and Quentin Tarantino shared a birthday party at the Jet nightclub in Las Vegas. She turned 33, QT hit 45. On hand to eat cake and pose for this photo were Nelly and music producer Polow Da Don. Fergie had a small part in Grindhouse, you'll remember. Earlier that day, reports the NY Daily News, Tarantino along with Kid Rock, Eli Roth, and the ubiquitous Diablo Cody ogled swimmers in the Bare pool lounge. The cake wound up mostly on the floor. (Photo: Truscello/WireImage)

Paris' Prague Trip

Paris Hilton, running from the crush of Prague Czecharazzi with boyfriend Benji Madden, trips and falls and injures her face. Boyfriend tells the guys to lay off. Meanwhile, no one gets footage of the fall?

Housing Developments

Hotelier Jason Pomeranc paid $3 million for the 4,200-square-foot, five-bedroom, three-bathroom former Hollywood Hills home of onetime Hollywood It Couple, actress Sandra Dee and singer Bobby Darin. The classic midcentury beauty was built in 1955, but it looks so 2001. (LA Times; house photos: Jason Pomeranc)

The Heat Over Heath

In the tumult over Heath Ledger's will, members of his family are claiming the actor fathered a child with a 25-year-old woman when he was a 17-year-old student in Perth, and the girl was raised by the woman and her boyfriend. "Everyone lived under the assumption that [the child] was the daughter of the mother's boyfriend and that is how she has been brought up," said a family source. But Ledger's uncle, Haydn Ledger, says there's a "real possibility" that Heath is the father. The late Ledger, who drew up his will in April, 2003, before the birth of his daughter with Michelle Williams, left no provision for either of them, listing only his parents, his sister, and half sisters as beneficiaries. If the claim about the other child is true, reports an Australian news source, it could split his multimillion-dollar estate between his two daughters.

Of Interest

Designing women Miuccia Prada and Donna Karan

Quote Unquote

"My thing is, if I don't constantly try to move forward, I'm afraid that I'll just get lost in the welter of nostalgia. I'm not really much of a looking-back person. I mean, I don't mind having a laugh talking about things, but I don't really get into it. Otherwise you end up like one of these football players sitting in a bar, talking about how you made that play in the game in 1975. You don't want to be there." – Mick Jagger to Parade. Photo: Bryan Adams. (Rolling Stones quiz)

Snap!

Hollywood legend Lauren Bacall attended opening night of the revival of the musical Gypsy at the St James Theater in New York on Thursday. She's 83, so shut up. (Rex photo via Daily Mail)

Up in the Air

Will Hayden Christensen be playing the young Superman in Justice League: Mortal? Will there even be a Justice League: Mortal? (Cinema Blend)

Miuccia Prada Rules

Prada head Miuccia Prada recently sent an email – a list of rules – to all employees at the designer's New York headquarters on 51st Street. A worker forwarded the email to Page Six:

"Desk and work surfaces should be clean and uncluttered. Pictures, calendars, etc. should not be taped to cubicle/office walls. Pets may not be brought to the corporate office or the store. For corporate employees, all coats should be hung in the appropriate coatroom and not kept in offices or hung over cubicle walls. Window shades should be even (either completely up or completely down) throughout one side of the floor. Items may not be placed on the window sills ... In addition, it is important to take a break from your workday and enjoy your lunch. Therefore, absent extenuating circumstances, lunch may not be eaten at your desk."

Sheesh. At World of Wonder we're allowed to eat at our desks.

Snap! Cap

Hey, who's Eric? (Needs caption)

A Woman Is Pissed Because Busta Rhymes Has to Shit

And Busta kinda overreacts.

Of Interest

Actors Simon Pegg and Giovanni Ribisi

About That Spider

If you recently received that urgent email warning you about the deadly Butt Spider, Blush Spider, or Two-Striped Telamonia that lurks under the toilet seats at Olive Gardens, sit your ass down on the can and read this.

What?

Is it just my freakish ears, or do other iPhone users have a problem with their ears pressing the mute button mid-conversation?

– Steven Corfe

Hot Shit

Completely absurd. A Road Runner for our time. (t/y Sara)

Brad Renfro Tribute Tonight

If you're in Los Angeles, try to make the Brad Renfro Memorial Tribute screening of 2001's Bully tonight at 7:30 at the Egyptian Theatre in Hollywood. Bully is the true story of a group of middle-class teenagers who decide to kill the bully in their group. The film's director, Larry Clark, will be present at the screening, as will actor Daniel Franzese. Along with Franzese and the late Brad Renfro, the film also stars Michael Pitt, Rachel Miner, Bijou Phillips, and Nick Stahl as the Beaver the bully.

She's Got the Situation Covered

Jessica Simpson, arriving for a dinner date with Eva Longoria last night, exits the car in a manner somewhere between slutty and ladylike. (IDLYITW; t/y Lindsey)

Shameless Plug

World of Wonder's touching documentary When I Knew, directed by Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato, will play the Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival on April 27. The festival runs from April 25 to May 4. Barbato and Bailey will attend the screening and discuss the film afterward. And meanwhile, the HBO When I Knew video booth will be set up to record, we hope, your own stories.

Snap!

We just came back from the WOW pizza party on the third floor. As Steven Corfe, who took this picture of intern extraordinaire Mindy, said "When World of Wonder has a pizza party, it takes a whole lotta pizza to feed the World."

Crazy French

This is good news indeed. Now that inexplicably trendy French interior designer Philippe Starck has announced he's retiring, the world will have fewer pieces of unfathomable, uncomfortable furniture; less complaining about the ugliness of their rooms from guests at swank hotels; and, one hopes, no more unstable three-legged stools. "Everything I designed was unnecessary," said the Frenchman in a moment of clarity to German weekly Die Zeit. "I want to do something else, but I don't know what yet. ...In future there will be no more designers. The designers of the future will be the personal coach, the gym trainer, the diet consultant." Starck's new Starck-free world is reduced to only two objects: "a pillow perhaps, and a good mattress." Because, honey, he's tired. (via Breitbart; Starck photo by Jean-Baptiste Mondino; t/y James)

Sweet Charity

You can own a piece of TV history and wear it too. Like cake. Britney Spears, you'll recall, wore this crème Nanette Lepore cardigan with blue beaded flowers when she played a receptionist of How I Met Your Mother, above. Now, as promised, this thin-knit cardigan with ruffled 3/4-length sleeves and ruffle bottom, blah blah, along with all her other Mother wardrobe, is being auctioned, we assume for charity. (t/y Cooper)

Mad Man

Airing tomorrow and Sunday on BBC Four, a documentary production from World of Wonder's London office: David Ogilvy: Original Mad Man, the story of advertising and its self-proclaimed genius. (Click image to enlarge)

Doing It with Lindsay

Lindsay Lohan has signed to play Nancy Pitman, one of Charles Manson's most loyal followers, in a movie to be called Manson Girls. "Yes, I am doing it with Lindsay," says Brad Wyman, the film's producer. There looks to be a slight physical resemblance between Lohan and Pitman. According to lore, Pitman was at home with Manson the night he sent members of his "family" to music producer Terry Melcher's house, where they famously killed pregnant actress Sharon Tate and the others. (Pop quiz: If Tate had lived and delivered Roman Polanski's baby, how much might she have got at that time from a tabloid for photos of the newborn?)

Ave Maria

We're kind of obsessed with Maria Conchita Alonso here at World of Wonder – and not just because she's the host of our new series ¡Viva Hollywood! And not just because she usually gets through three or four shots of tequila during the deliberation portion of the show each episode (for real!). But also because she costarred in one of our favorite movies, The Running Man. (The ¡Viva Hollywood! series begins April 13 on VH1)

Stab Hunter

Last night a guy was stabbed inside the Mood nightclub, ran outside, and collapsed a few doors down in front of the Geisha House, both trendy spots on Hollywood Boulevard and both clearly seen from the windows of World of Wonder across the street. Too bad no one's in the WOW building at night and there's no activity at Mood or Geisha House during the day. So we have to read about and see the hubbub on TMZ, whose operatives are on the prey both di- and nocturnally.

Of Interest

That '70s Show's Ashton Kutcher and 21's Jim Sturgess

Steve-O Gets a Leg Up

This week's National Enquirer has photos of Steve-O earlier this month snorting coke off a woman's leg, but the former Jackass star, who's currently in rehab, says on his MySpace page that the accompanying story about his hitting on random girls and asking to snort coke off their breasts is totally untrue and damaging. Oh, and by "woman" we meant "enabler." (Celebitchy)

Wait a Sect

Pete Doherty has been dabbling in Scientology, buying books and such, encouraged by his deejay friend and Scientologist, Nadine Ruddy, pictured with him here. "Pete’s chatted a lot with her about it," a source told The Sun. "He just wanted to find out more about Nadine and what she believes in." We think perhaps he wants to get into more than just her church. Meanwhile, Doherty turned down a charity event in London when they wouldn't pay him $3,000 to appear.

Margaret Cho on TLS

Margaret Cho is one of the people who watch Transamerican Love Story Monday nights on Logo, and she's just posted her thoughts on the show and "the incredibly beautiful and talented Calpernia Addams" on her MySpace. But it was this remark of Cho's that gave us pause: "Homophobia is so awful it makes me heterophobic! And it makes me mad that when I write ’heterophobia’ it makes my spellcheck go on – because that is not even a word – yet ’homophobia’ totally is."

Turkey Boaster

Showing off during her trip to Turkey, Paris Hilton out-bellydanced the bellydancer on a television show she was a guest on in Istanbul. "The hotel heiress pulled out all the stops to shake her stomach and tremble her tummy," reports the Daily Mail. Meanwhile, Hilton, the serial dater, star of a best-selling sex tape, licenseless driver, ex-con, puppy mill supporter, and herpes sufferer, has said she thinks she's an inspiration to girls everywhere. "I don't pay attention to lies because I am a good person. I work very hard and I've built this empire on my own. I think this is an inspiration for a lot of girls out there." Her empire was mostly "inspired" by lots of cash up front. (Photo: PA)

"High School Drag"

In a spectacularly riveting cameo in the middle of the 1958 teen-exploitation classic, High School Confidential, Phillipa Fallon performs a beat poem in a coffeehouse to the accompaniment of Jackie Coogan on piano. As the poem says, "Turn your eyes inside and dig the vacuum."

Snap! Cap

Needs caption. (Click to enlarge)

Recently Dead

Herb Peterson, who was attempting to come up with a fast-food version of Eggs Benedict for McDonald's when he invented the Egg McMuffin, died Tuesday in Santa Barbara. He was 89. Peterson started as vice president of the McDonald's advertising firm, D'Arcy Advertising, in Chicago, and wrote the burger chain's first national advertising slogan, "Where Quality Starts Fresh Every Day." He eventually owned six McDonald's franchises himself, in Santa Barbara, and his breakfast sandwich made its debut in one of his restaurants in 1972. (AP; photo: John Hayes)

Fetch – and Not So Much

Boston Dynamics' Big Dog robot and the less complex Beta version.

Governor Spends Tax Dollars on Friends, Says Tot

The Eliot Spitzer scandal explained by a three-year-old who understands immediate gratification without a thought to the consequences. (via SuperDeluxe)

Life in the Toilet

Kory McFarren, who was charged last week with a misdemeanor count of mistreatment of a dependent adult for allowing his girlfriend to sit on his mobile home's toilet for so long that her ass grew around it, was arrested on Sunday for lewd and lascivious behavior after exposing himself to a neighbor's teenage daughter and her friends. Sheesh, all these rules! You can't take a long dump, you can't air out your privates.... In the old days, showing your dick to your neighbor's kids was the main reason you moved into a trailer park. (AP; photo: AP/Lindsey Bauman, FILE)

(Prior) (Even prior)

A Disneyland of the Mind

ANNOUNCER: Hey, Britney, you just scored big acing the role of a receptionist on the low-rated CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother! What are you going to do now?

BRITNEY: I'm going to London play Blanche DuBois in the West End revival of A Streetcar Named Desire, y'all

He's a Pepper

Re yesterday's news that Dr Pepper would send a free can of soda to everyone in America if Axl Rose released his 17-years-delayed Chinese Democracy album this year, a surprised Rose responded, politely and succinctly, on the Guns N' Roses website with this:

PRESS RELEASE FROM AXL REGARDING DR PEPPER
We are surprised and very happy to have the support of Dr Pepper with our album "Chinese Democracy," as for us, this came totally out of the blue. If there is any involvement with this promotion by our record company or others, we a