Just Ask Joey

Dear Joey I first just want to let you know that writing this to you has taken a lot, but I am at the point where I have nowhere else to turn without hanging my head in shame. So being such an avid fan of James St James and the WOW Report I figured this is the best thing to do. Anyway, about a week ago I lost my virginity. I'm twenty years old and even though it was my first time having sex it wasn't my first time with a boy. The sex was great and I will never forget how wonderful it felt. A couple days later I showed up at class and several of my girlfriends were upset and concerned for me. Apparently the boy I slept with isn't who I thought he was. After several days of typical college girl banter I finally came to the realization that my girlfriends were right. The twenty-two-year-old college senior who had plans to take over his father's boating company next spring has turned out to be a thirty-six-year-old insurance salesman. I found this out because he is cousins with one of the guys who lives on my floor. How could his happen!? It felt so wonderful and he was so nice. We danced all night long and he even made me a secret drink that he said only special girls get. I thought I was in love...with a 22-year-old assistant boat sales man named Daryl. Patty

Well, Patty That “secret drink” only “special girls get” – that's Rohypnol, or roofie as it's commonly called on the streets. And that thought of love you were feeling – that’s the cold hard truth that you just got played. It's OK, you’re young, but honestly that’s all that happened. Sweet-talking made you feel like you were the only girl in the room, and DANCING, come on, haven’t you ever watched an episode of The OC ? Guy probably read a book on how to pick up young college girls and you were the first one he got in his crosshairs. The only thing you can do now is keep it LOOSE. You say he was 36, right? I say you go older, like 40. No, fuck it – 60. Show him that you were the one in charge. Then, once you got all of this out of your system, key his car or something. That always feels good. Joey Maiocco

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