Just Ask Joey

Dear Joey I know you've been in the military, so I was wondering if you have any insider info about the existence of life on other planets and if you ever heard of bona fide UFO sightings that were covered up. Curious

Dear Curious I was actually stationed in Germany when what I'm about to tell you happened. Most people probably think that something like this would happen in the desert where it's desolate and secluded, but in my opinion aliens are a lot like us: Who the fuck wants to fly thousands of light-years to go to the desert, Europe is where it's at. There was one section of the base where I worked that was completely off-limits, except for the chosen few. Occasionally I was posted there to check IDs to make sure everything was on the up-and-up. Really it was a cake job; not that many people came through, and when they did they were always super nice because they were so high up on the food chain they really couldn’t afford not to be. One night there were a lot of lights going off inside and all of a sudden what looked like a spaceship flew out of the side of the building towards – you guessed it – SPACE. I didn’t really think much of it, no one really even said anything to me. I ended up selling the idea to Fox and a few months later Independence Day came out. It was pretty cool I guess, I like Will Smith. Joey Maiocco

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