Celebrities at Large: Money Washing

WOW Report fan Eddie Lotts writes:

Hey there, you super fantastic WOWers! It's your roving reporter from Wichita KS, who normally updates you on the comings and goings of Kirstie Alley when she visits her hometown. Well, my partner and I are on vacation in Chicago, which happened to coincide with Pride activities and the big parade (really, we didn't plan it this way). Since our condo rental is only a couple of blocks away from all the activities in Boystown, well, we couldn't pass it up, could we?

So Saturday, we went to the Pride activities, which was really just a drunken afternoon spent looking at hot guys. However, there was entertainment lined up. Kimberly Locke, Frenchie Davis, and TIFFANY, of all people, were performing. But what we were most looking forward to was experiencing the legendary Martha Wash. For those who may be too young to remember, Martha Wash was half of the Weather Girls, which spawned one of gay America's greatest anthems, "It's Raining Men." She was also the voice of C+C Music Factory and Black Box ("Gonna Make You Sweat" and "Strike it Up," respectively). We were huge fans (notice the past tense).

So the shows are running an hour behind because of rain, but we are patiently waiting for the show to begin. And finally, it does. She starts off with "Gonna Make You Sweat," which was fabulous, and we are eagerly awaiting more hits. Her next song is a new one that I haven't heard before, something about working and money and poverty or something like that. Anyway, a fan up at the stage got a dollar bill and started waving it at her, in what I thought was some sort of young-hipster-being-ironic sort of action. However, when Martha saw it, she came over and TOOK THE DOLLAR BILL! The hipster-queerpunk
whatever the hell responded by giving her about $15 in tips – and she took every one of them, and STUFFED THEM IN HER BRA!

Of course, since we are all about individualism and embracing our own style, everyone near the stage started waving bills up to $20. I thought the tipping was a one-time thing, but no! She made it to every single person offering tips! I initially gave her the benefit of the doubt, thinking that at the end of the song she would thank everyone for the tips and announce that she would donate them to a local organization. Unfortunately, when the song ended, she asked for help with all the money, thanked everyone, and said she would be sure to tithe on Sunday morning! And during the next song, she took MORE tips! I was appalled by her tackiness – I have never seen a professional, well-known entertainer take tips from the audience. I was absolutely amazed she wasn't going to donate them. And by the time she sang "It's Raining Men," I was so disillusioned that we left. My partner went so far as to call her a whore; of course, he's a musician so he has a better outlook.

Is Martha so hard up that she's stooping to taking tips from the audience? I can understand that performers go through hard times, but let's face it, she's acting like a drag queen, and I didn't used to put her in that same category. But now, I guess I should. Maybe we should have a benefit show for her if she's so desperate for cash.

Besides that incident, Chicago has been great, but we have to go home on Tuesday. I'm sure Kirstie has had a difficult week, not having us to stalk, so I'll catch up on that and send you any new Kirstie info as it comes.

– Eddie Lotts

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