February 19, 2008
The St. James Version II
Look at this picture. REALLY LOOK AT IT. Now, how many times did you say "What in the HELL....?" There are EIGHT things that immediately jump out at me. The most pressing, of course, is: How have I never known that Gwyneth is a giantess? Or is that just one of those new pocket-trainers with her? ALSO (in no particular order: Is the dwarf REALLY wearing ESPADRILLES with a gold lame mini-dress? Is Gwynnie really wearing SEAFOAM heels with a bubblegum pink dress? And that bow? REALLY, Gwyneth? That bow at YOUR age? And can we talk about that face? Those slitty eyes? That frozen smile? Those Juvedermed-to-fuck cheeks? And after we discuss all that CAN WE JUST GO BACK TO THE SHOES. Oh, I just expect so much more. At least stay within the same color family, for Christ's sake.
– James St. James
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