Itemizing

• Carrie Underwood discovers dating is difficult when you're famous. Apparently, she's still ON that turnip truck.

• Regarding the national boycott of Tropic Thunder planned by activists representing the mentally deficient, the film's co-writer Etan Cohen suggests Rain Man, I Am Sam, and Forrest Gump are the real culprits.

• Mariah and Nick finally celebrate their wedding with friends; neighbors call police about the noise.

• Angelina Jolie and Tom Cruise, it turns out, are interchangeable. Who knew?

• A vast sea of 2,008 different Chinese performers for every segment of the Olympic opening ceremonies, and they bump one seven-year-old girl for having crooked teeth.

• Hayden Panettiere's father Alan "Skip" Panettiere has been released on $50,000 bail after being arrested for allegedly beating his wife. Is it really wise to release a man on bail if his nickname is Skip?

• Shelley Malil, supporting actor in The 40-Year-Old Virgin and featured player in Budweiser's "Whassup?" commercials, has been accused of stabbing his ex-girlfriend 20 times.

• Bank Job hottie Jason Statham arrived at the Hugh Hefner's Midsummer Night's Dream party at the Mansion wearing only a bathrobe and was eventually escorted off the premises. Boobs not big enough?

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