Legend

The Nat'l Enquirer, in a rare "exclusive" story, reports that legendary movie star Elizabeth Taylor was rushed to Cedars-Sinai after mixing booze and prescription pills and has only five weeks to live. No, that was a different exclusive. But the booze-and-pills part is Liz. Further details reveal that the 76-year-old actress "began vomiting and couldn’t breathe when she awoke her assistant at 4 AM on April 6." Thanks, Enquirer, now we can't shake the image of the glamorous wheelchair-bound senior rolling about her house gasping for breath and hurling onto her sleeping assistant.

Related entries:

1. Lily Allen: Carried Away, Carried Out: After winning the impressive Editor's Special Award...
2. Irony McMahon: Ed McMahon, 85, after getting $644,000 behind...
3. Joey Heatherton: Serta-fied Perfection: Attention all drag queens, faggots, strippers, sex...
4. Quote Unquote: "I'm an exhibitionist. Some people are afraid...
5. Brett Erlich: Longitude and Attitude: Brett Erlich, handsome adorable host of Current's...