Open Letter to Halle Berry

You may call waiting to sell photos of your baby to the highest bidder "shopping," but we call it "pimping." Babies are a not-for-profit deal. And, except to your immediate family, there's nothing unique about yours. Babies are almost too easy to make, most people have at least one, and they all start out looking about the same. Unless yours has two faces, we don't care if we ever get a look at it. In fact, when you do receive the billions in placenta money you don't need, why don't you give all of it to the strapped-for-cash Singh family. That would be worth seeing.

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