21st-Century Vox

Grow Up

I happened to be watching The People’s Court the other day – you know, with judge Marilyn Milian, the hottest judge on television – when I saw a case that peaked my interest. Most of the time there’s a clear-cut right and wrong in the cases and most of the litigants look like they just rolled out of their trailer home and threw on their acid-wash tight rolled jeans and an airbrushed T-shirt from the local fair in order to get to court on time, but this day was different. A young aunt was suing her former nephew through marriage for rent and for damaging her property while living at her house. Both litigants seemed to be pretty well educated and the aunt seemed generally concerned for her young nephew.

The boy, who had just turned 20, said he was kicked out of his mother’s house because he wasn’t getting along with her. He moved in with his father, whom he said abused him and wasn’t treating him fairly. He had gone to live with his grandparents and finally called his aunt who felt pity on him and allowed the guy to live in her home for almost a year. The boy had gotten into an argument with his aunt and she asked him to leave, and when he returned to get his things he broke the door in to get access to the house.

Now, usually judge Milian starts screaming at the dumbass litigants telling them how stupid and ridiculous they are which, let's face it, is why I watch the show in the first place, but on this day, to this litigant, she just said "Why?" The boy came up with some life-isn’t-fair-and-they're-all-out-to-get-me story, and the judge just listened until he was finished. She obviously awarded the money to the aunt, but it was her advice to the guy, which really struck me. She told him that he needed to grow up. Life is hard for everyone and you come to a crossroads in your teens and early twenties where you get to make a choice. You can decide that the world owes you something and hold it against everyone with whom you come in contact for the rest of your life, or you can accept where you are, learn from your mistakes, forgive, and forget.

I see some people in our society desperately trying to hold on to their early adult and childhood years and wonder why we would ever want to go back. I had a guy come up to me one time and say, “Oh, if I was only your age again.” I responded, “ Cool. Give me your house, your nice car, the stable job that you've created for yourself, your kids, your relationship that you've built, your money, your success, all of your knowledge, and your experiences and I will give you my youth, with all its flaws.” He laughed and was like Damn, you are right, I don’t wanna go back.

Don’t get me wrong; I had a great time in my teens and enjoyed college immensely. I was successful at sports and even in life, but just thought that I knew everything. I thought at the time that things I was experiencing, and the causes I tended to fight for, and the grudges that I held were so important and now, a few years later, I realize that I didn’t know shit. I sometimes want to go back and slap the guy that I once was and tell him, “ Dude, chill. You will realize in a few years that none of this stuff really matters. What’s important is that you do your best, respect the people around you, and try to be happy. Don’t get bogged down by the bullshit because honestly that’s all it is – bullshit”

Currently, I am performing in a new play premiering in Los Angeles called City Kid; The Musical. We were on Entertainment Tonight last week and the show is going to be a phenomenal success. Some of the cast are in their very early twenties and while I’m only 28, the difference in those few years is monumental. They are phenomenal performers whom I watch in awe, but then I remember that the experiences they are having now are only going to get better as they grow up. No amount of money in the world would make me wanna be 20 years old again unless I could know then what I know now. Sure I had better skin, fewer wrinkles, my body seemed to heal faster, and damn I was skinny, but I held onto unimportant things and didn’t focus on the positive side of life.

I guess my point is that after years of hearing people tell me to grow up, I finally realized what that meant, and to younger people who read my columns, I know that you think I’m crazy, but in five years or so you will finally begin to realize that it’s a short life and living it to the fullest is the most important thing. To those of you who are older than me, don’t long for the days of youth so much because, to tell you the truth, they weren’t really that great if you think about it, and we’ll all be older one day and hopefully a little wiser. Come see the show, bitches!!!! BLOG HARD!!!

It’s always a business doing pleasure with you.

– Dylan Vox

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