World of Wunder

The story so far: WOW's receptionist, Jeff Pickett, is receiving sporadic emails from a person called Gerda Wunder. The installments read like soap opera episodes you might watch late at night on a black-and-white television in a hotel room in an unnamed eastern European country you dreamed. Here are some more:

"THE GAP TOOTHED DENTIST RUBBED VASALINE INTO MY HAIR THEN ANSWEREED THE PHONE .IT WAS MUSTAFIO, THE OLD BASTARD. HE TOLD THE DENTIST WHEN THE TOOTHH BECOMES LOOSE AND WIGGELLY TO COME BACK FOR THE PERMANINT GLUE"

"A NEBULIS CONSEKSHUN OF MYLESTONES RESULTS IN MY FLUKCHUATING UPSWARD AND BACKWARD AT THE SAME TIME AFTER MUSTAFIO, AGAINST THE HIGH SEELING, BREETHES WATER AND BLOWS ONE BUBBEL FOR THE BOOKS WHILE WONDERING IF IM REALY DROWNING"

"THE TIGHT WAD FINALLY BROKE DOWN AND TOOK ME TO MICDONALDS AS PROMISED SINCE THE SUMIR. HE ORDERS A HAMBURGER ON A PLATE FOR BOTH OF US. ONLY MUSTAFIO'S HAMBURGIR COMES. THEN ONE HOUR LATER TEH WAITRESS SAYS YOU WANTED A HAMBBURBGER DIDN"T YOU. I SAID YES. SHE ASKS WHAT HAMBURGIR. THEN MUSTAFIO SAYS HAMBURGIR NOW FOR MY GERDA MEANING ME. I WAIT UNTIL ONE MORE HOUR AND THEN SAID MUSTAFIO DO SOMETHING. HE SAID I"LL HANDEL THIS. HE RODE DOWN THE AYLE IN HIS DESK CHAIR TO GET THE WAITRESSES ATTENTSHIN. THEN THE HAMBURGIR FINALLY CAME ON A PLATE.. THE BASTARD SAID NOT TO TOUCH IT UNTIL HE PRESSES IT DOWN FLAT. THEN HE TOOK A LARGE BITE AND SAID WONDERFUL FOOD"

"I MET MUSTAFIO AT THE BUS STAY SHUN. HE STOLE A PAINTING AND I HAD TO PUT IT IN THE SUITCASE. THEN THE MANIPLULATIVE BASTARD SAID HE HAS TO GO BUY A HANDBAG AT THE KEYOSK. HE SAID RULES ARE RULES. SO I WENT TO THE BAGGAGE CHECK LINE AND THEY POINTED TO THE SUITCASE AND SAID, WHEN DID YOU SWIM IN THE POOL. I NOD-ED YES. THEN ON THE BUS MUSTAFIO TOOK OUT THE PAINTING AND SAID , HE WAS VERY SATISIFED WITH WHAT HE WAS SEEING"

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