S Is for Search

I had the Google to remind me of my recent searches on the Internet again. We're on S this time:

Salon
Senator Barbara Boxer
Senator Diane Feinstein
send up a flare
shopping for cosmetics
SinuCleanse
Sippie Wallace
South Beach Diet
Supreme Court: "Bong Hits 4 Jesus"

I remember that I sent a letter to 'S'enator Diane Feinstein asking her to support impeachment of the motherfuckers in the White House. She wrote back politely that she did not support impeachment. I responded that as a consolation could she please get Barbara Boxer or Nancy Pelosi to help her with that rat's nest on top of her head? I'm still waiting for her response. I also 's'hopped for cosmetics. This scrubby face-washy genius thing that, apparently, will no longer be carried in stores in the United States. I'm not telling you what it is because I plan to hoard. I also investigated the use of 'S'inuCleanse because, well, I was around in the '80's and one does eventually pay the price. I also started the 'S'outh Beach Diet. Not because I'm fat, but because one bite of pizza and I come to three days later in some sleazy motel licking ice cream off a hooker's ass. When it comes to sugar, I have no off switch. Oh, and also Bong Hits 4 Jesus.

– Ray Cochran

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