21st-Century Vox

F-U-C-K

F-U-C-K. Such a short but extremely potent word. Do you know what it stands for? Do ya? No, it’s not For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. Just because Van Halen named an album that doesn’t make it fact. No, the word fuck dates back to the um... well, it dates back to a long time ago when the King controlled sex among the non-aristocracy. The “poor” people had to go to the king and ask for permission to have sex. Then they'd write FUCK on their door, which stood for Fornication Under Consent of the King. Can you imagine that? Having to ask permission to have sex (yes, I realize guys have to pretty much beg girls to put out all the time, but that’s different).

Why is fuck such a dirty word? And why is sex considered so taboo in our country? I mean, who really cares? If no one gets hurt, I say do whatever you want. Life is just too short. The FCC actually allows (although I think no one thus far has had the balls to do it) network television to use the word. However, you can use it only as an expletive, not in reference to a sexual act. So, you can say, “I want to fuckin' kill you!” but you can’t say, “I want to fuck you.” Are we really that afraid of sex? (Do I really need to ask more questions?) I mean, sex is natural. Sex is fun. Sex is best… Well, you know the rest.

All the Democrats blame the conservatives, but I remember Tipper Whore, I mean Gore, was the one who started a Senate committee to try to ban controversial artists like Twisted Sister and Prince and Cyndi Lauper and John Denver. JOHN DENVER?! I mean really. So it’s not cool or accurate to blame it all on one political affiliation. I'm not advocating that EVERYTHING be about sex, but I don’t understand why it’s considered so bad – everyone and everything does it. I understand it's even popular among birds and bees.

And why are certain types of sex-related things considered bad and certain types good? Like, I remember in high school everyone had to watch those horrible films on women examining their breasts. That was extremely uncomfortable and watching was mandatory – even for boys. Yet when Janet whips out a tit during the Super Bowl millions of people around the world shrieked in horror and CBS was fined for the (obviously planned and convenient) so-called "wardrobe malfunction." CHILDREN WERE WATCHING! Let me tell you, as boring as that game was, I needed a little tit to keep me awake, and I’m sure those children would agree with me. We all saw a boob at suppertime, so why not at game time? (And what the hell was on her ginormous nipple? Ew.)

It sucks that I don’t know why sex is so dangerous, and I really wish I could answer some of my own questions, but I’m like Alicia Silvestone – completely clueless. Speaking of Alicia, Whatever happened to her? I know she gained some weight for her role as Fat Girl, I mean Bat Girl, but then what? I'm telling you, Hollywood is like Survivor, people just get voted off and no one knows why. I fuckin' hope it doesn’t send me to tribal counsel because I have sex! BLOG HARD!

It’s always a business doing pleasure with you.

– Dylan Vox

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