Stiff Drink

Deep Throat, the energy drink that helps you "keep it up all night," is the perfect beverage to stock when HBO premieres World of Wonder's documentary Inside Deep Throat at 11PM on Friday, September 6. Mark your calendar.

Head Case

Here's "Buttons" from Sia's upcoming album Some People Have Real Problems on Astralwerks. Video directed by Kris Moyes. Sia, we're told, was the music that accompanied that astounding end sequence on the final episode of Six Feet Under.

Itemizing

• A study suggests that drinking a large glass of wine or a pint of beer a day increases the risk of developing bowel cancer by around 10 percent, reports the Daily Mail. "Gotta do better than that," say alcoholics.

• Gary Coleman, involved in a dustup with a femaie companion in Provo, Utah, takes it out on his vehicle's steering wheel.

• Owen another thing. Owen Wilson, 38, had his arm around Mary-Kate Olsen, 21, the other night after he struck up a conversation with her at a table littered with Grey Goose bottle outside Opera. Janet Charlton heard that there was some amount of giggling before he left with her phone number – and made the rounds of other tables getting more numbers.

• "Scarlett has never seen a script nor been approached about this project," says a rep for the actress. "She also has no interest in playing this role." OK?

• Ironically, Star Jones spills the beans about her gastric bypass surgery to Glamour mag.

• In a public admission of his continuing love for her, Pete Doherty called Kate Moss a "nasty old rag," causing her to fly into a rage, smashing pictures and throwing wine glasses, which are always at arm's reach.

Not So Subservient Dog

After "beg," "roll over," and "bark," we found this dog to be completely oblivious to other commands. Which is not untypical of dogs when food is not in the equation. This pup has a lot to learn from the Burger King chicken. Still, maybe you'll have better luck with Queenie. (I Do Dog Tricks; t/y Pam)

Quote Unquote

“They need a bloody good smacking, and I’d kick them up the bum. I feel sorry for our guys that are in Iraq, not those little spoiled bitches. If I see anymore of them out at night with all that bloody hair sewn in their heads, skirts up here, no knickers on.... Lock ‘em all up, throw away the key!” – Sharon Osbourne sharing her feelings on Paris and Lindsay and their ilk, on the Tonight Show. (Pop Crunch)

Snap!

Hayden Panettiere digging in her derriere yesterday on the Malibu set of Heroes. We'd say "ew" but it's the other hand. (via Just Jared)

Male Pattern Boldness

Does our president have a "thing" for bald men? "You can only deny it for so long," says Humpasaur Jones, who has proof of a whole lotta fetish going on in the White House. "After awhile, evidence starts arranging itself into patterns." Male patterns, for sure. Bush should be held scalpable. (t/y Eduardo)

Gravy Yards

Vegansexuals are people who do not eat meat or animal products and choose not to be sexually intimate with non-vegans whose bodies they say are made up of dead animals. "It's a whole new thing, I have not come across it before," said Annie Potts, who coined the term after researching "cruelty-free consumers" for the New Zealand Centre for Human and Animal Studies at Canterbury University, asking 157 people about such things as battery hens and sexual preferences. Many women described being attracted to meat-eaters (whom we'll coin right now as "canivoracious") but said they wouldn't have sex with them because their bodies were made up of animal carcasses. "I believe we are what we consume, so I really struggle with bodily fluids, especially sexually," said one. "I would not want to be intimate with someone whose body is literally made up from the bodies of others who have died for their sustenance," she said. "When you are vegan or vegetarian," said another, "you are very aware that when people eat a meaty diet, they are kind of a graveyard for animals." OK, we get it. We don't want to have sex with you either. You look like that and smell like garlic. (Sauce; photo: Stacy Squires/The Press; t/y Eduardo)

Recently Dead

Recently we've come to realize that two of our favorite films, Ingmar Bergman's The Silence and Michelangelo Antonioni's L'clisse, with their gorgeously stark compositions, cryptic dialogue, and puzzling open-ended denouements, could easily serve as templates for lampooning foreign art films, and probably do. In fact, Hitchcock once said, "It’s easy to make a pretentious film. Pop in quite unnecessary images to baffle people. Like that Italian chap, Antonioni.” Antonioni died yesterday at age 94, the same day as Bergman. Jean-Luc Godard is still alive. In a fitting blogger tribute to Antonioni, we'll let his work speak for him and post the last 10 minutes of 1962's L'eclisse, with Monica Vitti, and the fashion-shoot sequence from his 1966 English-language film Blow Up, with David Hemmings. Great cinema. (Read)

CONTEST! REMINDER!

The WOW Report is presenting a minor contest to coincide with the August 5 season premiere of IFC's original comedy series, The Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman (Sundays at 11:30PM). If you saw the first season, you know that Laura Kightlinger's Jackie Woodman character is a mostly surly would-be screenwriter in LA who, with her galpal who works at a production company, has some dryly hilarious, mildly wacky "industry" adventures. Both bitchy and blasé, Jackie and Tara are like Lucy and Ethel with low blood sugar. And they hate LA – thus the tagline "LA sucks. Jackie sucks back." We'd like to hear why you think LA sucks, and we'll send the two best whiners cool little stainless-steel Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman flasks like the one pictured above, flasks that, until now, only the show's cast and crew were privy to carry. Send your hate mail to wowreport@worldofwonder.net before August 5, and write "Jackie flask" in the subject line. (Photo: Thairin Smothers)

Two Things

Saturday night, Britney Spears, a young man, and three friends, chowed down on jumbo shrimp cocktails, strip steaks, cheeseburgers, chicken oysters Rockefeller, Grey Goose vodka, and Red Bulls at Hollywood Club One and the check came to $251 and Britney, whom we assume paid it, didn't leave a tip. But the thing is: All that food and drink was only $251? And another thing: Who was that young man Spears went out clubbing with afterward? Turns out he's Justin A Mandile, a 25-year-old real estate agent who works out of Sotheby's International Realty Office in Beverly Hills and graduated with honors from Indiana University with a bachelor of science in business. His Friendster page doesn't list Spears among his favorite music but he says "what I need is simple... 5 foot 5 with dimples... potential wife credentials." (via Popcrunch)

Snap!

This is how Aretha is able to sing that way and you aren't.

Those Were the Days My Friend

Now that P Diddy is so 2006 and becoming persona non grata among the A-listers, we're feeling kinda sad, having finally warmed to him. There was a time (he was Puff Daddy then) when velvet ropes were unclicked instantly for the smug thug and his entourage; yet the other day he was refused a table and turned away from a nightclub in St Tropez on the French Riviera, where only a year ago he was king, famously taken to jet-skiing in formal wear. The other day he was spotted wandering around the romantic beach alone and – we like to think – crying a little. A source in the snotty resort town said, "He is so B-list here; no one even acknowledges him." That's just rude. Oh – that's right – it's France. (Source)

Quote Unquote

"Well, the passing of Tammy Faye. I really enjoyed Tammy Faye, and as you well know, it’s going to happen to all of us. It’s part of our contract that we seem to forget as time goes by. We’re all so shocked when it happens. But we conveniently forget what we signed on for. I think it’s fabulous. She had a great run on this planet. She influenced a lot of people. As a person, she was absolutely lovely. No malice in her game whatsoever and I’ve always loved that. I’ve always dug people who were kind at heart, ya know? People take kindness for weakness, but being kind is the greatest sign of strength that anyone could do." – RuPaul on the recent passing of Tammy Faye Messner, in an interview with Express Gay News. (t/y AguynamedWayne)

Why We Hate Kail

For all the same reasons you do: In the first episode she said she'd be disappointed in her kids if they "decided" to become gay; in another episode, she told Dustin that, lacking gaydar, she was unable to tell if he or any other man was gay – unless, of course, they were wearing makeup; and more recently, when looking at the photo of Dustin's family when he showed the houseguests his HOH room, she was surprised at how happy and accepting his parents appeared to be with his "choices" in life. Plus her name is, suitably, a homophone for a bitter leafy vegetable.

That Nice Couple Next Door

If the Beckhams were just your neighbors, Dave and Vicky. Planet Hiltron strikes again!

Keeping It in the Family

Is this item as unsavory as we think it is? Jessica Simpson's manager-father said his daughter was offered a role in a film that was virtually guaranteed to earn her a best-actress Oscar nomination if not the Oscar itself, but turned it down because her character was a porn star. In releasing the news, Joe Simpson, a former Baptist minister who has a bit of the perv in him, said, "I was like, ‘We'll just buy a little man," meaning an Oscar statuette, "and keep our clothes on." (Hollywood.com; photo: Wire Image via IMDb)

On Pins and Needles

The exact-scale model of the steel-and-glass Lloyd's of London building created by sculptor Willard Wigan (above) is the size of a grain of sugar, took four months to construct using platinum and white gold, is mounted on the head of a pin, and has to be seen through special lenses. It brought $188,000 at auction last week. Lord Rogers, the original architect of the famous structure, said that "designing the actual building itself was an intricate challenge, but to see it recreated in such minuscule proportions and with so much detail is quite unbelievable. I had to look through the microscope several times to check my eyes weren't deceiving me." Below are other examples of Wigan's work: a clown, Bart and Homer Simpson, the Statue of Liberty, and characters from The Wizard of Oz. (More)

What They Saw in Her

No sooner had we posted Paris Hilton's frantic money-making plans for the year than this new item came across our desk. In the futuristic musical thriller Repo! The Genetic Opera, cofinanced by the makers of Saw, Hilton will perform numbers ranging from rock to opera. Opera! The setting for the genre mashup is 2056, when a plague has nearly destroyed the human race and survival is dependent on getting an expensive organ transplant. Hilton plays a daughter of the villainous organ transplant magnate, played by Paul Sorvino, who, by the way, can sing like you wouldn't believe. Anyway, is the irony intended? Darren Lynn Bousman, who directed all of the Saw movies, has spent years working on this movie version of an opera created with screenwriter-composers Darren Smith and Terrance Zdunich. "This movie has become my life," he said. "I have auditioned at least 30 actresses for this role – Paris came in and owned it. She is this role." "We saw many actresses for the role," added coproducer Carl Mazzocone, "and Paris sang it better than all of them." Whoa. (Variety; t/y Lydia)

Of Interest

Director Ingmar Bergman and actor Hume Cronyn

Recently Dead

Ingmar Bergman, considered one of the greatest directors in motion picture history, died today at home on the small island of Faro on the Baltic coast of Sweden. He was 89. We think Best Week Ever synopsized his passing most succinctly, saying, "His death was described as beautiful and poetic, but somewhat difficult to understand." (Photo: Bengt Wanselius/Sony Pictures Classics)

Night Has Fallon

NBC chief of late night programming, Rick Ludwin, has confirmed that the inconsistently amusing leprechaun Jimmy Fallon is at the top of the shortlist to replace Conan O'Brien on Late Night when O'Brien makes the long-awaited move into Jay Leno's finally vacated seat on The Tonight Show in 2009. So now we know what we'll be doing at 12:35 weekday mornings in 2009. Sleeping. (Source)

While NBC has not done a pilot or any run-throughs with Fallon, Ludwin seems confident he has seen enough of Fallon’s talents from his SNL stint, which included hosting the “Weekend Update” segment. Fallon also served as a guest host for David Letterman’s Late Show on CBS in 2003.

Paris in the Black

Businesswoman Paris Hilton will soon be putting her name on everything from hair extensions to a stuffed toy version of her chihuahua, Tinkerbell, reports the Daily Mail. Plus, "I'm developing my own hotels, casinos, and clubs, and getting into real estate," she's announced. "It's crazy at such a young age. I'm doing so much." Lately, she's even been taking vocal lessons in the hope of relaunching her pop career with a new CD, despite the tepid response to her performance of "Stars Are Blind" on karaoke night at Guy's in Hollywood last week. Still, stranger things have happened. Forbes listed her last year's earnings at $7 million, after doing virtually nothing, so it's not impossible she could quadruple that number this year, as "sources" have predicted. In fact she better, because Grandfather Barron Hilton has cut off her $50 million inheritance, due to her continuing behavior unbecoming to an heiress. Like, he can't be a fan of her going blackface on an episode of The Simple Life, above. (Photo: Splash News)

Quote Unquote

"Of the four Spencer children, Diana was the slowest.... Her death may have resulted indirectly from one of her back-handed manipulations – it is said that she only went to Paris with her late lover Dodi Fayed in order to make heart surgeon Hasnat Khan jealous. [...] Diana was never a fashion icon; she dressed to the same demotic standard of elegance as TV anchorwomen do, plus the inevitable hat.... Diana's legacy is no more than endless column inches of adulation and speculation." – The Female Eunuch author Germaine Greer to Weekend Australian magazine about Princess Diana. (Source)

This Just In (Yesterday)

Cheney Pacemaker Shocker: Docs
Can't Find Heart

Several emails have confirmed that this little item I posted on HuffPo yesterday was accidentally picked up by Google News. For about 10 minutes yesterday it was the #1 news story in the US section – until somebody actually read it and pulled it! Apparently Google News has to be more careful about what they link to. :)

– Gabriel Rotello

Of Interest

Horror queen Barbara Steele and Grindhouse queen Rose McGowan

Here She Comes

The runners-up in the second annual Miss Arab World beauty pageant, held Friday in Cairo, are shown here in the swimsuit competition. The winner was Miss Bahrain, 23-year-old Wafaa Ganahi, a teacher at Bahrain University. (Source)

Tears for Spears

On Wednesday, with the stink of her larcenous photo shoot for OK! magazine still hanging in the air, Britney Spears displayed even more erratic behavior at the shoot for her new music video, reports the News of the World. After knocking back 20 or so of those vile-tasting Red Bulls while chain-smoking, Spears, in fishnets and skimpy leather vest, "threw a complete fit," said an onlooker, when she became shy and "wobbly" trying to work the stripper pole and aggravated that there were extras in the scene with her, which led to her eventually dissolving into tears, squatting on the floor with her new puppy, and staring vacantly into space. She may have been rocking back and forth like a crazy person, we don't know. The director had to wrap the day early and send home the crew of 100. "She just didn't want to cooperate and was snotty and rude to everyone — behaving like a complete and utter spoiled brat," said the onlooker. "It was embarrassing. She needs help fast." Thank God no one was hurt. (Photos: Alec Byrne)

Not a Party Every Day

Explaining yesterday why he didn't perform with KISS when they performed Friday at a gig outside Los Angeles, frontman Paul Stanley said, "During sound check yesterday, my heart spontaneously jumped to 190-plus beats per minute where it stayed for over an hour, necessitating paramedics to start an IV and give me a shot to momentarily stop my heart and get it into a normal pattern. Not knowing if this episode was life-threatening made it even more exhausting." It was the first time the band performed as a trio. Stanley is 55. (Source; photo: Jennifer Graylock/AP)

Quote Unquote

"I have nine of those muthafuckas, and I love them, so I'm trying to get one more to make it an even 10. I never really understood what the hell a Grammy was. Growing up, it always seemed to be like a bunch of older people wearing tuxedos, deciding whose album they thought was the best." – Eminem to XXL magazine, on wanting to win another Grammy. (Source)

21st-Century Vox

Touched by Tammy Faye

"Honey, God loves everybody. It's human beings who mess things up," Tammy Faye Messner said to me as she placed her tiny frail hand in mine to give a squeeze as we walked out of the movie theater. It was the premiere of her second documentary, which recounted her battle with cancer. The words she spoke in her high-pitched Minnesota drawl were so simple, and yet carried so much meaning because to Tammy Faye all men were created equal, no matter what their color, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, and in her mind not only was she not to judge other people, she was to accept them the way God intended her to. Tammy Faye Messner didn't judge people because she had walked in their shoes. Throughout her life she had been persecuted and made fun of. The joke, however, was on those who could not see past the wigs and pounds of makeup to the heart of an extraordinary woman who lived her life as best she could, mistakes and all, and gave people hope, enjoyment, and enlightenment.

Sitings

• Radio Free Everywhere. TUN3R is a wall of hundreds of thumbnails, each one a radio station somewhere in the world, with playlists included. Just tune in and drop out. Very cool.

• The Gay Chicken. Hear it. Fear it. (t/y Eduardo)

• Ye Olde Photoshoppe.

• Donald Gunn teaches you the 12 master formats of TV advertising. You might not be so fast to fast forward after learning this. (via b3ta)

• Click here, then click where you feel like it.

In the Heath of the Knight

Click here to play trailer. And like anything good, it's slow to load. (Source; t/y Ross)

Snap!

When James was on a recent book-signing date in Dallas, Texas, friends of the WOW Report came in from other parts of the country and hung out with him in his room at the fabulous Zaza Hotel. From left: Shelly Ross aka "Machine Gun Shelly," Crystal Barrow, Melissa Chauvin aka "Urethra Franklin," Cuteboy Mike, Alexiss Marchand, Rhonda Compher, Rachel Saiz and Guy Poché.

Lovely

Jeez, you don't even need drugs. Jeremy Blake's video for Beck's "Around the Bend." (via Golden Fiddle)

Cat Video of the Week

Who-ha

What toxic singer recently fired most of her staff and replaced them with day laborers from the parking lot at the Hollywood Home Depot?

Of Interest

Legendary blues singer Etta James and legendary New York newswoman Sue Simmons

Quote Unquote

"All relationships are open. Don't believe that there's any difference between a monogamous or polygamous relationship. Those are all just big words like 'gymnasium.' Human beings will do whatever the hell they want to do. [But] they lie about it... because they think they have to answer to somebody. I want Shannon to stay with me only because she wants to, not because she has to." – KISS guy Gene Simmons talking about his wife Shannon Tweed to TV Guide. (via BuddyTV)

Her Day in Court

In court this morning in Glendale, Nicole Richie pled guilty to driving the wrong way on the freeway while under the influence of drugs. (In February, she said she was not guilty of the charges.) Under the terms of her plea agreement, she will have to spend 90 hours in jail, pay a $2,048 fine, and be on probation for three years. Her sentence must be completed by September 28, in either a city or county jail. She was also ordered to enroll in a drug-and-alcohol program and told not to drive without a license, which the DMV is deciding whether to suspend. In other words, she was treated as any other DUI case. And it's said she looked lovely in a loose-fitting-impossible-to-tell-if-she's-pregnant, knee-length black dress and spike heels when she arrived at the courthouse on the arm of her Good Charlotte boyfriend, Joel Madden, who wore a suit and tie. Both wore Hollywood-issue sunglasses. (Source; photo: AP/Kevork Djansezian)

Riding with Rudd

On The Joe Buck Show, an internet talk show set in the back seat of a taxi moving about the streets of New York City, hilarious and handsome actor Paul Rudd joined Joe and whipped out some poundcake and a couple of tallboys. Along the route, Rudd dropped his pants, listed four people who are not in The Black Donnellys (since cancelled) with him, including Cyndi Lauper and Merv Griffin, and some of the women he's slept with in Hollywood, including Shelley Winters, Josh Hartnett, and all of the Friends. (via Towleroad)

Ugly Britty

[Photo removed]

Britney Spears' bodyguard, whose name, ironically, is Julio "JC" Camera, attempted to beat up a photographer outside the Wynn resort in Las Vegas yesterday morning because he'd touched the singer's son, Sean Preston. Another photographer at the scene claimed it was only because Camera had shoved his partner Kyle Henderson in the chest that the boy was accidentally bumped into. When Spears screamed, Camera wrestled Henderson to the ground and began pummeling, and Wynn security had to break it up. Police arrived, Camera was issued a citation for misdemeanor battery, and Spears filed an allegation of battery against Henderson on behalf of Sean Preston. Then Spears checked out of the hotel. She may have been asked to, and may have been given a brochure describing other area hotels she might like to try in the future. On a side note, Spears' custody agreement with Federline clearly says she's not permitted to take the boys out of California without his written consent, which she didn't have, and he's demanding their return. Again we ask: Who knew K-Fed would be the responsible one? And again we answer: We did. (Us mag)

Pretty Vacant

Posh's foray into a supermarket yesterday must have been a publicity stunt. She looks bewildered. Perhaps she's just there for the complimentary Mystic Tan this store pumps into the air. (via Teddy & Moo)

Throw Job

Ventriloquist Terry Fator, a finalist on America's Got Talent, can throw his voice like nobody's business, show or otherwise. With his mouth closed, he manages to magically produce spot-on celebrity impressions out of it two at a time, as in this clip. He's too talented to win; America will inevitably choose another dime-a-dozen singing prodigy.

Pop Waffle, Volume 6

See more at Pop Waffle.

In this week's edition of Pop Waffle: a new assistant for Posh, an ankle bracelet for Paula, and Ric Ocasek for Lindsay.

– Selected by Ross Greenberg

Of Note

Mick Jagger. 64 today.

Not Feline So Hot?

Oscar the cat prowls the halls at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island. Oscar comforts patients but seems to have an uncanny ability to sense when death is near, often curling up to patients during their final hours of life. Comments our friend Jason, "I don't know what's more disturbing: the fact that it's really true that cats are soul suckers, or that this one's wondering around a nursing home sucking souls at will and this news item takes the approach that it's cute and wonderful that the cat is the "harbinger of death." Oh yeah, the phrase "harbinger of death" is actually used, like it's a good thing." (Source; photo: Stew Milne/AP)

Tammy Forever

World of Wonder got some righteous props in the Tammy Faye post yesterday on GetReligion.org:

No obituary does her as much justice as the films The Eyes of Tammy Faye (2000) and Tammy Faye: Death Defying (2005) and the Sundance Channel series One Punk Under God (2006). In One Punk Under God, Tammy Faye’s ex-husband speaks of her with quiet wonder and compares her to the Unsinkable Molly Brown.

Guys and Guise

What is happening in music land? This guy (on the left) with a girl's voice won the French Idol competition. And this German boy (on the right) is the new hottie for all European girls under 12. Yes, it is a guy, and the guy with the cap and the Rasta hair is his identical twin brother! What is happening? Boys are becoming girls and it's considered hot hot hot!

– Dirk Hendrickx (our pal in Belgium)

Nip Service

Claire Danes, interviewed on MTV in Canada, gives out too much information. (via Egotastic!; photos: INF)

Sunny Boy

Dr Phil's 22-year-old son Jordan McGraw at the yellow-carpet LA premiere of The Simpsons Movie. This guy's next to him in every photo. (via Daytime Talk)

Greene Caught Red-Handed

You remember Peter Greene as the terrifying Gimp-keeper in Pulp Fiction, but we always think of him as the schizophrenic in Lodge Kerrigan's awesome Clean, Shaven, from that same year. The scary-looking (and handsome) recovering drug addict was arrested yesterday on Avenue D in New York's East Village for possession of crack. Everybody loves crack, they're lying if they say they don't, and it always seems to taste way better when it's smoked as close to where it's copped as possible (its provenance, if you will), but it's a crap shoot who'll get caught holding and that face of Greene's just looks suspicious. The cancellation of his latest project, the short-lived, unwatched series The Black Donnellys, could not have sat well with him. (Source)

Quote Unquote

“If you are dumb enough and arrogant enough or immature enough to place other people’s lives in danger you have to be punished. Seriously, I’m not playing around. She is not the victim – the public is the victim because it is the public that is at risk. If the young community sees that we are more worried about Lindsay Lohan than we are about the people who have to dodge out of the way of her car, being driven erratically, that’s not where our emphasis should be. When you place other people’s lives at risk there are serious consequences. If you drive a car and we’ve taken away your privilege of driving a car then you have to go to jail. You don’t have to go to jail forever but you have to go to jail until it hurts.” – TV's Judge Judy Sheindlin on Lindsay Lohan's arrest. (