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January 25, 2007

Celebrities at Large

LindsouttarehabWhat's that? A ghost? Nope, that's the one and only Lindsay Lohan herself, apparently on leave from her lock-in at the Wonderland Rehab Center just long enough to fit in a few hours of stripper pole classes at the S Factor "stripper school" on the corner of Wilshire and La Brea, where she's been "getting into character" for her upcoming role as a pole dancing diva in I Know Who Killed Me. Some cynics suggest that part of her "character study" includes slugging down quarts of icy vodka and letting skeevy guys blow rails off her tight stripper ass, but from the looks of her those are just mean-spirited rumors.

After less than a week in rehab (and only two weeks after her overnight appendectomy surgery / recovery miracle) Linds was in fine form, leading a posse of pals back to a black Escalade parked in the adjacent Jack-in-the-Box parking lot. She wore tight leggings covered with indecipherable red writing (the 12 steps?), outrageously oversized sunglasses (duh), and her hair in disarray – but two hours hanging off a stripper pole can do that. Tsk-tskers might say Lindsay would be better off spending her rehab studying the Big Book and participating in endless group-therapy sessions with her fellow reprobates, but the holistically minded know that exercise is an important part of building a healthy body – and if that exercise is done up against an iron pole while listening to "Cherry Pie" at ear-shattering volume, so much the better.

– Chris May


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