Email Bonding

New York Observer columnist and Barneys New York display queen Simon Doonan loves Chris "Leave Britney Alone!" Crocker and very recently conducted a thoroughly enjoyable email interview with him – "Very To Catch a Predator! Very modern!" he says – for an Observer piece. Little sample:

Let’s talk about the U.S. economy, or rather, your economy: How much money will you make next year?

I don’t discuss my finances, however, if there are any wealthy Republican closet cases in need of an outing and a good hand job, I am available and ready for your coins. In 2008 my TV show will finally start airing, so I have a lot to look forward to. I personally think it is the answer to everyone’s prayers. [WOW Report ed note: That TV show of which he speaks is a World of Wonder production.]

Your latest thing is getting out of a car bottomless, à la Britney. Mazel tov! Can we expect more of this kind of thing from you next year?

I am very proud to say that I am the first guy ever to give the paparazzi a crotch shot … although the media chose to ignore it, it happened! You can’t hide something so legendary, and I plan on leaving my legacy, so yes, you can expect more high-profile crotch shots. I’ll do it somewhere a little more public next time. They can publicize me crying over Britney Spears but they can’t publicize my crotch shot? It’s an unjust world.

For some reason I can imagine you dating an older guy next year—a Mitt Romney type. Does it appeal to you to have some distinguished man helping you into a chinchilla stole?
I’ve always held an attraction for older guys. Older guys understand why ass-hair is hot because they were around in the 70’s, so I’m all about it as long as they don’t have a pedophile thing going on.

(Continue reading)

Related entries:

1. Of Interest: Writers Woody Allen and Ray Bradbury...
2. Woody Allen: She Is Not a Muse: Woody Allen wants to make it clear...
3. Paris Hilton: The Bandit: At a press conference tomorrow, Paris Hilton...
4. Shia LaBeouf: Revenge of the Fallen: Shia LaBeouf, looking very beouf indeed, was...
5. Who Am I?: Reveal after the jump....