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August 20, 2007

The St. James Version: The Kiss Heard Round the World


Finally! The kiss! The kiss! My beloved Luke and his "straightboy" crush Noah! Yes, after months of close calls and blue balls, AS THE WORLD TURNS delivers on daytime's most anticipated love connection – TEVELISION HISTORY IN THE MAKING HERE, PEOPLE!And where was I ? ARGH! Turning off Vine onto Sunset! Because I was, foolishly, on my way to a podcast. "Nothing is going to happen today," I said to myself. So I left a little early. ON A FRIDAY!

IDIOT! IDIOT!

LOOK WHAT I MISSED! THE MOST IMPORTANT MOMENT IN HOMO HISTORY! TWO CUTE BOYS, WHO CAN NO LONGER DENY THEIR PASSION, ON DAYTIME TV, GOING AT IT! RIGHT THERE! OMG! SHOULD I JUST SHOVE THIS OYSTER FORK IN MY EYE NOW? THANKS A LOT WORLD OF WONDER!

Oh, I can't believe I missed it. Quickly, let's recap, though, so we can all watch this glorious moment on Youtube now, over and over again: Luke Snyder, of course, is the totured teen homo who spent most of last year wandering around Oakdale, moaning that he would never find true love. Then along comes dorky bo-hunk Noah, who "likes old movies" (PINK FLAG! PINK FLAG!), was an army brat (PINK FLAG! PINK FLAG!), and has an overbearing father (PINK FLAG! PINK FLAG!). Anyway, Luke was immediadtely smitten with the newbie, and told him so. (Funny that they made the gay love interest "dorky" with a big baked-potato nose, instead of classically hunky. Was the casting agent straight? Or an old woman? ) Noah, though, had the hots for that nittering twit Maddy, BECAUSE HE'S STRAIGHT, see? And he keeps asserting his heterosexuality every chance he gets. But there have been moments – SHIRTLESS moments – like this that let us know what's REALLY going on. That it is ON! It's a homo-happening! Fag attack!

And happen it did. Two boys kissed, REALLY KISSED, on daytime television. And even if it wasn't the first – Passions got there first, with Chad and his "d.l." storyline – this IS the first gay love story. And, my god, that kiss was pretty fabulous. Open mouth, tongue and all! So even if it wasn't ME kissing Luke Snyder, and even if i didn't see it live, I couldn't be
happier! YAY! VIVA LA GAY LOVE! I LOVE YOU LUKE SNYDER!

– James St. James


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Comments

James, I'm either going to have to learn how to program my VCR or quit my job. I want to watch this everyday now - - its better than men's gymnastics on ESPN.

-- Matilda | August 20, 2007 10:26 AM

Good thing the on-camera stuff makes you hot, because it's like Auschwitz working there behind the scenes.

-- ATWTsux | August 20, 2007 12:01 PM

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