21st-Century Vox

It’s All for Show

The other day I was strolling through my local Ralphs when I turned down the newsstand aisle and saw not one but three magazines with that useless waste of space Denise Richards on the covers! Now, I am not a fan of writing about celebrities because most of the stupid things they do to be written about are calculated moves to keep them in the spotlight. I have no idea why Denise Richards is on the cover of anything other than I Fucked My Way Onto the Silver Screen magazine, but there she is staring back at me and I start to think of all the stupid publicity stunts that stars have pulled just to get some press.

Remember the year 1BP (Before Paris) when a little webcam tape of Ms Hilton and Shannen Doherty’s boyfriend getting it on began to surface all over the place? I had never heard of Paris before that, but all of a sudden she was everywhere and interestingly enough the release of the tape coincided with the start of her new TV show, The Simple Life. Only a fool would believe that the sex tape was an accident. Come on, it was a calculated move to thrust her into the spotlight.

Have you ever noticed that whenever that crazy loon Barbra Streisand goes on a talk show, the host is always on the left side of the stage? It's because she looks better from the right side. The entire set has to change just to accommodate the eccentric goddess of song. EVEN OPRAH DID IT! Now, that’s power. So you think she does this just 'cause she’s crazy? OR is the better explanation that she does it so tabloid reporters and gossip columnists will continue to talk about her even when her music becomes less relevant? Madonna, take a memo.

The Hollywood machine knows what it's doing. It knows that people think they wanna know who's dating whom and who's cheating on whom. Agents pair up two clients like Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth (both have the same rep) so the press have something to report. I mean, you really think that sweet-as-pie Katie Holmes would want to hang with her great grandfather Tom Cruise if there weren’t some sorta payoff, like a career after Dawson’s Creek? And speaking of Tom, everyone's heard the rumors that circulate about this incredibly narcissistic weirdo, but I find it funny that the crazier he acts the less people are willing to believe he's gay. That’s a pretty good strategy if you wanna stay in the closet and have several blockbuster hits about to hit theaters.

Anyway, I don’t know why Denise is on the cover of gossip magazines, and I don’t care. I’m not a reporter, and I’m not necessarily interested in the facts. I just observe and give my perspective. I heard once that when you meet your heroes you find out that either they are assholes or are just like you. Either way, you lose because the illusion is gone. Hollywood creates stars and they learn to play the system to remain stars and you can’t really fault them for that. But remember, the next time you hear that a celebrity is doing something strange, ask yourself whether it’s real or just part of the "show" of show business? And BLOG HARD!

It’s always a business doing pleasure with you.

– Dylan Vox

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