This Just In, from Somewhere Nonspecific

Page Six reports this morning that George Clooney has taken action (not really action, more of a plan for others) against Gawker's celebrity stalker maps, which must must be somewhat bothersome to the stars, if not outright frightening, and therefore should be neutered. Says the former Batman in an email sent out by his people to other celebrities' peoples:

"There is a simple way to render these guys useless. Flood their Web site with bogus sightings. Get your clients to get 10 friends to text in fake sightings of any number of stars. A couple hundred conflicting sightings and this Web site is worthless. No need to try to create new laws to restrict free speech. Just make them useless. That's the fun of it. And then sit back and enjoy the ride."

That Clooney really seems to enjoy fun, doesn't he?

An excited Jessica at Gawker responded right away, squealing, "Ohmahgah he knows we exist!" Then took a deep breath and continued:

"Considering 'George Clooney does not make statements, he answers questions,' we've a hard time believing that this missive came from the keyboard of Clooney himself. But, then again, he's declared that 'If I say I've written something, I've written it.' So maybe he did. In which case: So excited. If there's anyone to take us down, throw us around, and render us useless, it's him. Seriously, we've been fantasizing about that shit since ER.

"Oh, and this just in, from a tipster: 'Last night, 1 AM, saw George Clooney in a gang bang at The Eagle. He looked sweaty and was bleating like a sheep.' "

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