March 31, 2006
Sitings
• Who doesn't love baby pictures. From Bruce Willis to Jimi Hendrix to Jennifer Lopez, they were so cute. (t/y Eduardo)
• The Squirrel Family in Polar Jump!, a pointless activity. Squirrel must jump from one floe to another with your assistance. Don't ask why, just do it. (t/y Ted)
The St. James Version
These were the outtakes from my CUTEST BOY IN THE WORLD search. They were done here in the WOW offices, and I didn’t really think they matched the tone of the street interviews. The jewel in the crown, though, is Brett, the first boy. As a long-suffering heterosexual working in the offices here at WOW, he's all too used to being ambushed by me. The look of helplessness and utter resignation on his face truly makes him the Willy Loman of cute boys. And as for the others, well, you’ll get a general idea of just how I’m treated around here. (Watch)
– James St. James
The Unbearable Lightness of Hydroponic Lettuce
Yonks ago a British satirical magazine called Private Eye used to run a column called Pseuds Corner, celebrating the very best in the pretentious. This exhibit called "Tales Without Grounds" at the BUIA Gallery in New York, would qualify for that corner.
The work revolves around a hydroponic lettuce cultivation complex in which the artist, Eve K Tremblay, has posited her cast of characters. In this situation, the lettuce is used as a transitional object, via the thinking of Winnicott, and therefore as an in-between entity upon which the characters project their desires, emotions, needs, and potentially even their neuroses. In this way, the lettuce is used as an object through which to mediate the surrounding world. In this way, the characters at hand play, contemplate, and exist within and around the hydroponic lettuce cultivation complex ultimately to discover themselves.
Lettuce pray the show is a great success.
– Fenton Bailey
[Ed note: We're thinking why not make a day of it. Spend the afternoon browsing the lettuce show at the BUIA, go to dinner – you'll fancy a salad – then find a cinema playing Drawing Restraint 9.]
Shut Up, You DON'T Know
Tonight or tomorrow, why not see friend of WOW Micah McCain's Me, Myself, and Blog, an "irreverent evening of readings, rhythms, and reenactments" based on his website, shutupiknow.
Cavern Club Theater @ Casita del Campo Restaurant, 1920 Hyperion Ave, Silverlake (323) 969-2530 (Reservations strongly encouraged) Showtime 9PM $10 Reserved / $15 Door
Confessions of a Hollywood Extra
Whenever those wacky Hollywood casting directors are looking for a "club kid," "drag queen," "punk rocker," or "DEAD BODY," I know I had better make myself available.
The first DEAD BODY job I did was on the final season of The X-Files. The year was 2000 and I had just joined SAG. I was one of those embarrassing extras who thought joining the union meant I was famous. "Hi, you’re Sham? Follow me, we need to get you into makeup right away," the AD said, handing me a white robe. I thought to myself, "Yes, throw some fake blood on me, take me straight to Agents Scully and Mulder, and have Fox assign me a publicist."
In a tone almost like a nurse's, the makeup assistant told me to get completely naked, with the exception of a cotton pad over my cock and balls. I was confused. I thought I would be shirtless only. Last time I checked they weren't showing ass on TV. The AD sternly explained that my higher base pay was for the nudity involved in the scene, they were behind schedule, and the last thing he needed was to argue with an extra about information I should’ve discussed with the casting agency. So I reluctantly did what I was told. "We go for realism on the show. If you died on your side the blood would have congealed and the bottom of you would be darker," the nice makeup ladies cheerfully explained as they airbrushed me. The makeup crew had won several Emmys for their talents, but it was hard to think about that at 6:30AM, while my naked body was being sprayed with freezing cold liquid makeup for four hours straight!
More...She Dunst Her Wrong
Andy and Kirsten
Sitting in a tree
Pissing off Moye
Like, totalleee.
Our Moye Ishimoto has a schoolgirl crush on Andy Samberg and has learned today from Hollywood Rag that he's been doting on Kirsten Dunst lately, now that she's officially split from Jake. "I hate her so much," laments Moye. "Apparently she's going out with Andy Samberg now. SLUT." It seems there had been some romantic shenanigans – possibly even some "canoodling" – in the rain 10 days ago outside Hollywood's Hotel Cafe after a concert. But 10 days ago? Kiki's probably under someone else's umbrella by now.
Waterblogged
Who has frosted hair and is rumored to be playing Aquaman in the new Mercy Reef series for the CW network? This guy. But I'm fonder of his damsel, however. I'd like to join forces with her.
– Thadeus Roze
Calling All Superheroes
Who Wants to Be a Superhero? is having an open casting call next Tuesday at Sunset Gower Studios. It's a reality show that the SciFi channel is making, and it sounds amazing: "From thousands of hopefuls, Stan Lee will choose 11 lucky finalists to move into a secret lair and compete for the opportunity to become a real-life superhero." How 'bout them kryptonite-laced apples? After I get signed with Janice Dickinson, I'm totally crashing this party Wolverine-berserker-attack-style. Bickety-Bam!
– The Scarlet Lemur
21st-Century Vox
NEW COLUMN by DYLAN VOX
I guess I’m like the Jeffersons and I’m movin' on up! World of Wonder has decided I can bring my crazy rantings on the Get Spunk'd blog to a larger audience. So here I am taking a step up. If you've read me before, you know that I have had a very colorful and diverse past. If not, I'll bring you up to speed: I graduated law school, have been an extremely successful tennis player, a nationally ranked figure skater, and a champion horseback rider. I have written for magazines and newspapers and have been on reality shows and in films (of various kinds!). I try to start projects in order to achieve a goal, and now I have moved to Hollywood to become a star.
In this column, I'll write about my experiences trying to be successful in a town that is so unforgiving, making observations and incorporating the entertainment world into my own. Suddenly it hits me that the rules begin to change. When you move up in the world you soon realize that there is such a longer way back down and that the steps of the ladder get harder and harder to reach. I used to be able just to sit down and write about what I thought. Now I have an editor looking over my work, I have to worry whether my pictures will be appropriate, and now I have to wonder if people are gonna really like me.
More...Exclusive!
The WOW Report is the first to show you the monument to Simon Cowell that Cowell commissioned from artist Daniel Edwards and will be the centerpiece of his courtyard.
Word of Wonder
besticide - (bes-tuh-side) n. The elimination of all those arbitrary end-of-year "best" lists.
Fabulosity Killed the Phat
It was confirmed today to People that rap mogul and Phat Farmer, Russell Simmons, and his fabulous giantess wife, the Fabulosity author and Baby Phat mogul Kimora Lee Simmons, have split. Which we have to believe is fabulous! For Russell, anyway, now that she's sucked all the bling out of him. Speaking of run, the couple, 48 and 30, respectively, were married on fabulous St Bart's in 1998 by Russell's brother, Reverend Run of Run DMC, who is pretty fabulous. (via DListed)
Seacrest Not Out
The gay banter was thick last night, virtually excluding the usual pap when Ryan Seacrest visited Jay Leno, most of it coming from Leno's relentless barrage of sophomoric "all in good fun" attacks on Seacrest's sexuality, and only touching perfunctorily on his rumored heterosexual relationship with Teri Hatcher. Frankly, Seacrest seems a little weary of it all by now, though he soldiers it well. When he got a moment to talk, he did some dishing himself – on Simon – and this struck us as insightful: Seems Cowell wants to get the artist who sculpted the monument to Britney Spears giving birth to make a similar one of him that he can put in his courtyard at home. Monumental ego.
This Just In, from Somewhere Nonspecific
Page Six reports this morning that George Clooney has taken action (not really action, more of a plan for others) against Gawker's celebrity stalker maps, which must must be somewhat bothersome to the stars, if not outright frightening, and therefore should be neutered. Says the former Batman in an email sent out by his people to other celebrities' peoples:
"There is a simple way to render these guys useless. Flood their Web site with bogus sightings. Get your clients to get 10 friends to text in fake sightings of any number of stars. A couple hundred conflicting sightings and this Web site is worthless. No need to try to create new laws to restrict free speech. Just make them useless. That's the fun of it. And then sit back and enjoy the ride."
That Clooney really seems to enjoy fun, doesn't he?
An excited Jessica at Gawker responded right away, squealing, "Ohmahgah he knows we exist!" Then took a deep breath and continued:
"Considering 'George Clooney does not make statements, he answers questions,' we've a hard time believing that this missive came from the keyboard of Clooney himself. But, then again, he's declared that 'If I say I've written something, I've written it.' So maybe he did. In which case: So excited. If there's anyone to take us down, throw us around, and render us useless, it's him. Seriously, we've been fantasizing about that shit since ER.
"Oh, and this just in, from a tipster: 'Last night, 1 AM, saw George Clooney in a gang bang at The Eagle. He looked sweaty and was bleating like a sheep.' "
Mad in Manhattan
Naomi Campbell, renowned for putting her employees' health and welfare first, has been arrested for allegedly bashing a crystal-encrusted BlackBerry against the head of her maid. Apart from the incident itself, which at only four-stitches damage is small fry to hard-as-nails Campbell, who knew this essential piece of communications equipment could also be a) used to discipline the help and b) accessorised so glamorously? It's the knuckle-duster of the 21st century.
– Cat McShane
March 30, 2006
Sitings
• The longest bird penis ever. (t/y Eduardo)
• If we weren't already using Kikkoman soy sauce, this animation would seduce us into it. But is it us or does it seem longer than Drawing Restaint 9? (t/y Terrance)
• Chavs, hoodies, neds, townies, kevs, charvers, steeks, spides, bazzas, yarcos, ratboys, kappa slappers, skangers, scutters, janners, stigs, scallies, hood rats. All your chav needs met. (t/y Eduardo)
Björkback Mountain
This is the trailer for Matthew Barney's Drawing Restraint 9, an experimental film starring Björk, who does quite a bit of her signature caterwauling throughout. The film has a running time of 135 minutes; the trailer, at a painless two minutes and 12 seconds, may be all the experiment you need. Seriously. To be fair, the images are lovely and Björk does have a föllöwing. (Watch the trailer)
Celebrities at Large
A big Hello to the WOW report. I work for a company that does decor for corporate and charity events, plus I've done a few stints as an Xtra in several movies, so I've had a few celebrity encounters while living a life on the Z-List. I've been lucky though – all my encounters have been good ones. So I don't have any real dirt to give, but here are pictures from some of my run-ins and a few tidbits to add to the flavor.
– Wayne Anderson
On set of the new RuPaul Movie Project with RuPaul and Candice Cayne. Ru was everything you would think: funny, gorgeous, and surprisingly courteous (even taking the time to pose for photos with a lowly Xtra like me). The one thing I learned that surprised me: Ru does not like junk food at the craft services table. There was plenty to eat or drink, but everything was healthy. Juice not soda. Fruits not chips. And nothing fried or covered with fat.
Backstage at Madison Square Garden for the Concert for 9/11 with Halle Berry. I worked on the decor for the party and managed to snag a backstage all-access pass. I always thought she was gorgeous, but even up close, her skin is flawless!! She has a very hearty laugh, and was very easy to approach and chat with.
On the set of Party Girl with Parker Posey. I was cast as an Xtra. Playing the part of a club kid. She was the living embodiment of her role. Fun, vivacious, and sexy!
The Last Time I Saw Paris...
I have this theory that the American Idol people are trying to get America to vote for PARIS! I swear that since day one of this season Paris has had more screen time than anybody. Even when the other girl got kicked off on last night's show, it seemed like there were more shots of Paris crying than the girl who got kicked off. (Take a look)
– Randy Barbato
Calling All Models
Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency is having an open call this Saturday. I think it's going to be filmed for her reality show. It's at Hollywood and Highland. We should totally crash it. That is all.
– Thadeus Roze
Amanda Lepore's a Sellout
After only two days on the shelves at Jeffrey, the initial run of Jason Wu-designed Amanda Lepore dolls has sold out utterly, reports Manhattan Offender. Said to be left hungering for the tasty little action figure (you bet!) are Pam Anderson, the Elton Johns, and Hugh Hefner (a big fan of plastic). Meanwhile, boys, the flesh-and-blood girl has signed with Classic Entertainment Group to create her own reality show, which could be called Amanda Cross Country. Sounds like The Complicated Life.
Fat City
American Medical Response in Las Vegas has had to devise a double-wide ambulance to handle its ever-increasing number of double-wide patients. The $250,000 vehicle, which looks no different to the casual observer observing its exterior, is equipped with an extra-wide gurney and a winch and ramp that can tolerate 1,600 pounds. We're hoping the 1,600 pounds will be divided among two or more people at a time and include a couple of medical technicians because otherwise we're scared.
A company official said that in the last six months, AMR has handled 75 calls involving patients that weighed more than 600 pounds. He said moving someone that large in a regular ambulance poses safety problems for the patient – and for paramedics and ambulance crew members.
Auto Focus
GayWheels.com has taken issue with the placement in gay magazines of ads for BMW's sexy Z4 M Roadster. While other auto companies, like Subaru and Volvo, advertise in such GLBT mags as OUT and Advocate and are respectful to and supportive of the gay community, BMW is just out for some of that plentiful gay cash.
In the ads, the Z4 makes us yearn for some hard-driving, top-down motoring. But look beyond the gloss and you realize that the ads' placement in GLBT-media outlets is hypocritical. We are not talking about the fact that the ad—which lacks both GLBT-specific text and photography—does not speak loudly and proudly to its target audience. The issue is that BMW advertises its products in the gay press, yet it is not a gay-friendly company. In other words, the executives at BMW North America do not spend money to offer domestic-partner benefits to their GLBT employees, yet, at the same time, they buy ads to target the deep pockets of GLBT consumers.
Snap!
Again, more interesting in Asia than the US. Behold this Chinese 50-yuan bill rendered entirely in eggs. Behold also that it incorporates the city of Shanghai in its design. And while you're beholding, check out the unexpected baby's-room pattern on the floor. (Compare)
Hooters Goes Bust
Call it Tits on a Plane or the latest version of breast reduction. Hooters Air will stop its regular service in April, continuing only with private charter flights out of Winston Salem, North Carolina, catering to sports teams, tour groups, conventioneers, and selected WOW staff. Hordes of Hooters Air employees will be laid, um, off. We like these girls in the foreground, but those uniformed stiffs in the aisle have to be the reason for the airline's failure. Did you even know hooters had an airline? Did it serve chicken wings?
Eur Ad Here
Outdoor advertising in Europe is an embarrassment – to the US. These examples are effing brilliant and we've seen nothing like them here. At the top, Stringfellows strip club in Paris has made ingenious use of lampposts to entice customers to visit its establishment. We've booked a flight. The ad at bottom, for a piercing parlor in Rotterdam, has almost inspired us to get that nipple ring we've never wanted. (t/y Louise)
Monumental Problem
This kitsch sculpture, Daniel Edwards' Monument to Pro Life: The Birth of Sean Preston, which depicts Britney Spears about to give birth to her son on a bearskin rug, was meant to be a statement honoring the pro-life movement. So, of course, the highly irritable and easily inflamed pro-lifers had to find something about it to nitpick and are protesting its installation in a Brooklyn gallery next month. Pro-choicers also have a problem – with the model. The gallery's owner David Kesting said he's had unpleasant calls from as far away as Tokyo, England, and France. "Some people are upset that Britney is being used for this subject matter. Others who are pro-life thought this was degrading to their movement. And some pro-choice people were upset that this is a pro-life monument." But, oddly, no word from the PETA people on that bearskin rug.
Sweet!
We probably shouldn't encourage this sort of thing, and neither should you. It's just silly. (t/y Jason)
GI Gay Joe
Has GI Joe gone queer? In a slew of new short animated clips online he's certainly lighter in his combat boots than ever before. This clip features Joe as a gay dad admiring the local skateboarders, their little outfits and different colored hats. The number of clips on ebaumsworld and Google is multiplying as Joe is also depicted as a moron, a nut, and assorted other father figures who seem to help a lot of children in difficult predicaments. Like burning down the kitchen while making BBQ pork sandwiches...
– Frank Rehwaldt
What a Feckin Eirjet
Passengers on an Eirjet Liverpool to Derry flight were left stunned when, on arriving at their supposed destination, the pilot announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have arrived at the wrong airport." The very wrong airport in fact, as it turned out to be an army airbase in isolated Ballykelly. There was an official apology by Eirjet, who confirmed nobody was hurt. But even so, one passenger was dejected that "they didn't even let us go down the slide."
– Donal Coonan
March 29, 2006
Sitings
• Watch the trailer for Fuck, the 2005 fuckumentary, with contributions by everyone from Pat Boone to Hunter S Thompson. (t/y Eduardo)
• Inbox Junkies, a digital game like no other – if you don't count dodgeball. (t/y Eduardo)
Let's Cast the Pod Together
Ahh, the sound of rain, the clicking of busy laptops, Moye in army drag, James in Burberry trench – and they're off! James's new MySpace, his fans and commenters, and his magnetic appeal on this podcast are discussed. "We might as well be chairs," says Randy of his and Fenton's video value. Moye brings up the anorexia MySpace. 8th & Ocean, the twin with bad skin. The Guinea worm. Moye's burrito in Costa Mesa: "They made it out of poo." Kristin on Laguna Beach: celebrity or not celebrity? Film begat TV begat reality TV begat scripted reality TV begat Laguna Beach. Big Love: Viagra-driven. Randy loves Chloë. James has run out of room in his heart for new shows. Fenton finds Rudy Galinda "fagulous" on that Skating's Next Star thing, the wrong show on the wrong network at the wrong time. Lisa Rinna subbing for Kelly Ripa. The new celebrities don't hold a candle to the old newsmakers of the '80, like Bess and Sukhreet and Fawn and Hedda. God bless good old beaten-up Hedda. Stop laughing. We've gpt the preacher's wife, Natalie Holloway mother, and Terri Schiavo's husband. How many days do you think it will take until people realize you're dead? The View. A semiconscious Star calls the evil Joy a bitch. And Wilmer Valderrama's sizable penis.
Giant Love
In the latest issue of Giant magazine (which we think is the very best pop-culture – in the truly popular sense – publication around these days), Chloë Sevigny, star of HBO's Big Love, puts the A in some Q&A. Plus she opines on:
Douche bags who are like, "Heh-heh! You gave a blow job in Brown Bunny!"
I don't get that anymore. It happened once at a bar and I just ignored the person. I won't speak about it unless people have seen the film. All the trouble came from people writing about it who hadn't seen it.
Her Big Love character Nicki's look
I gave the costume designer the hardest time. I felt bad, but I had a clear idea of how I wanted her to look: high collars, skirts at mid-calf and really long hair. For a lot of these woman their hair is their crown, so they never cut it.
Saturday Night Live
I still love SNL even though everyone is bagging on it, but I think they put Amy Poehler in too many things. I adore her so much, but I think they're overusing her. She seems less precious nowadays.
(Photo detail: Jack Chuck / Giant)
La Dolce Vita
No one can resist air-fucking an Italian leaning over a car – not even Silvio Burlusconi, the Italian prime minister. (t/y Dirk)
Surprise Package Redux
Yesterday we wrote, "This clip leaves us frightened and a little dizzy (what used to be called the vapors), and we feel we should warn you to 1) be more specific about what you wish for and 2) make sure no one's looking over your shoulder when you watch it because it's so NSFW."
Since then, those lucky folks who've seen it have suffered either shock or disbelief. Or both, mixed with awe. They had questions. Yes, it's big and, yes, it's real. It's a clip from the exceptional WOW doc series, The Perfect Penis, that aired on Channel 4 in the UK, and it shows a gentleman from San Francisco who injects silicone into his dick. (Take another look at it, won't you?)
The Neverending Tori
These pics were taken at last night's premiere of Tori Spelling's TV show So NoTORIous. Premiere was at El Centro Nightclub on Santa Monica and Las Palmas. The nightclub was kind of run-down and seedy. Promotional pics of Tori were plastered all over and the show played on video monitors all around. Other celebs there were Wilson Cruz, Bobby Trendy, and James St. James.
Tori was nice. She asked us how her tits looked, referring to them as "the girls." Loni Anderson was nice also, but a little bit stiffer. She had a tall, handsome date with her. We invited Tori to go to Beige afterwards, but she said she had an early morning flight to catch at 11 am.
– Sham Ibrahim
(Photos: top, Loni and Tori; bottom, Loni and Sham)
Pic Sty
The National Enquirer, bless its satanic little heart, has the Whitney powder-room photo on its cover and thanks to MK, who posted it on Popbytes, we have it here.
Warhol Schlepped Here
On the 29th anniversary of the start of Andy Warhol's celebrity-studded, insanely detailed morning-after telephone reports to Paige Powell about his adventures the night before and the cost of the cab fare to get there, which later were published under the umbrella of The Andy Warhol Diaries, the Andy Warh-blog blog is revisiting the entries verbatim, day by day, and will continue to do so until February 2016, when all Warhol's published accounts will have been accounted for. The concept verges on genius and we're tempted to say that Andy would have loved it. Here's a taste:
Cab to the Hampshire House ($3). Lester is high up, and as we sat there talking the chandelier kept moving, a big one. I was nervous about it. Baryshnikov was so sweet. Milos was cute, telling me we had the same kind of shoes. Brooke Hayward was there and threw her arms around me and said, “I’m so successful, I don’t know what to do.” I think she’s nutty.
Lester had works by Rosenquist and Rauschenberg, but just one Cow I gave him and a Marilyn. He should have bought my stuff early on. I’m trying to get some Dollars on his wall, though. Lester’s is cozy. Dropped off Andrea (cab $3).
(via MonkeyCube, which observes, "Warhol's stream-of-consciousness makes me realize he might actually be the world's first blogger.")
It's Not Right but It's Okay
That previous post was Whitney as she is now. But here she is in happier days, if being drug-free and pretty amounts to "happier." She's on a French talk show with Gallic singing legend Serge Gainsbourg who, literally besotted, comes right out and says he wants to fuck her.
Tina Brown Rats on Whitney Houston
The Sun, bless its satanic little heart, has become privy to a photo of a drug mess in the bathroom of drug mess Whitney Houston. Sadly, the photo is not presented in the online edition of the UK tab so we have to settle for this written description: "Drug paraphernalia including a crack-smoking pipe, rolling papers, cocaine-caked spoons and cigarette ends are strewn across the surface tops." Whitney and Bobby live in a five-bedroom house in Atlanta, so it's unclear in which of their several bathrooms Nippy likes to strew the "surface tops." But we do know the photo was taken by Bobby's 42-year-old rat-fink ex-crack-addict sister, Tina Brown, who felt it was her duty to show and tell what she knew to the papers:
She revealed Whitney’s 13-year-old daughter Bobbi Kristina was often frightened by her mum’s weird behaviour. Tina also claimed Whitney was so wasted on drugs that she wet herself — then put on a baby’s nappy.
And once Whitney smoked crack on the way to a rehab clinic. Tina recalled: “She’d say, ‘I’m just gonna act crazy’.” Whitney allegedly calls a stream of dealers to her house and buys “eight balls” of crack — eighth of an ounce rocks. Users usually break an eight ball up into smaller pieces. But Tina said Whitney cuts open a cigar, puts an entire eight ball inside it with marijuana and smokes it.
March 28, 2006
Sitings
• A history of Jodie Foster. Nicely condensed, just like Jodie. (t/y Nathaniel)
• Words that frequently occur in Bollywood songs.
• Drag things into the ball to make it grow. A real time-waster. With music that quickly becomes grating and clears the room.
Basket Case
Because we're neither completely gay nor completely cold and cynical (not completely), we found this heartwarming high-school sports story just as heartwarming as we were supposed to and, yes, we welled up and there may have been some gooseflesh. And we want to thank our ex-colleague Pam for her unflagging devotion to spamming us with kittens and fluffy things and rainbows and heartwarming sports stories like this one. Seriously.
The World According to Wonder Showzen
Wonder Showzen, the best show ever, has this to say about global politics. I like it because it's exactly as long as my attention span.
– Ted Kupper
Double Dutch
Which Paul Verhoeven film will be sequelized next: Total Recall or Showgirls?
(t/y Jason)
Porn 101
So, OK, Inside Deep Throat didn't make it to the recent Oscars, but it's got legs nevertheless, as a part of the study courses in the growing porn curriculum on many university campi. In the current Time magazine's "Sex in the Syllabus" article (p.80), a professor teaching sex and law at UCLA says that seeing Inside Deep Throat is optional for his students because porn is "so pervasive in our culture, most students have already seen it." And we can only hope that each and every one of them bought the DVD.
Surprise Package
This clip leaves us frightened and a little dizzy (what used to be called the vapors), and we feel we should warn you to 1) be more specific about what you wish for and 2) make sure no one's looking over your shoulder when you watch it because it's so NSFW. (t/y Phil)