America's Got Talent – Unless They're Ugly

Moye Ishimoto writes:
I know, we already discussed that America's Got Talent. Don't get me started on the XXX that the judges get to give out. Does it bother anyone else that the first thing that comes to mind when you see those three red X's is porn? Hello, XXX rating. Maybe they should have a show called America's Got Talent in Porn and we get to rate X's on how awesomely porn-ish Americans can be. On stage. In front of live audience. Oh my gosh, I need to write this down.

And, seriously, Brandy. Sit your ass down. For one thing, why are you wearing a ball gown on the show? This isn't the Oscars. Even Paula doesn't dress up as much as you do. Second of all, why are you even judging? What happened to you? First you're a teen pop singer, then you had that fake rivalry with Monica but you guys made up with that addicting song, "The Boy Is Mine" (which I still sing in my car. OMG, that part at the end of the video when the boy comes over and the door opens to reveal BOTH OF YOU? Best scene ever), then you had the baby on MTV, which I really thought was the cutest thing ever until I realized that the whole marriage to your husband was fake and you guys didn't even love each other anyway, because you just got knocked up and had to cover it all up, then you had that awful hairstyle with the bangs. And now you're trying to make a comeback. But on this show? It's not working. No one can take you seriously.

But I digress. I only wanted to bring up this show, because I saw a clip of Bianca Ryan, who supposedly blew everyone away with her tone, pitch, range, whatever, when she sang. I just had to say that at first, I, too, was really amazed and thought "Wow! America really does have talent!!" and reminisced about Christina Aguilera when she first blew everyone away as a small tot with an amazing voice.

But the main difference between Bianca and Christina is that....well... Bianca has got to have the most average looking face, ever. Usually I try to see how you can make someone like her over into a really hot teen pop star (bleach the hair, pluck the eyebrows, nose job, lose a couple or 10 pounds), but this one seems hopeless. I can just see her in 10 years, working behind the counter at the local Waffle House in Oklahoma, still sporting the side half-ponytail and the long curls. No one is going to buy her albums. That's so sad.

So I am a mean person. I DON'T CARE. I AM ALLOWED TO BE MEAN. Leave me alone.

– Moye Ishimoto

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