July 31, 2006
Gruel, to Be Kind
Since slop is to this season's Big Brother All Stars what peanut butter and jelly was to previous seasons, we must ask ourselves, "What exactly is slop, exactly?" It's apparently so vile that some of the houseguests have thrown it up and would rather bow out of immunity competitions than eat it, though it looks as harmless as oatmeal. Most Internet recipes for slop are of the school-cafeteria kind, comprised of hamburger, sausage, and onions called Sloppy Joe, which is more sloppy than slop. Dictionary.com and other dictionaries say slop's any number of other things, all unpleasant, including unappetizing watery food used to feed pigs, kitchen waste mixed with skimmed or sour milk, swill, and human excrement. We have to assume the Big Brother producers wouldn't intentionally let the guests ingest human excrement – even Dr Will, who only assumes a shit-eating grin. Turns out the stuff is Big Brother's own gruel-type food, made up of oats, protein, vitamins, salt, and water. Sounds good enough to eat and, according to someone who's had some, it tastes not unlike a protein shake. The houseguests are just drama queens.
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Oh man I would hate to have to eat this shit for a week. The one Houst Guest "Chicken George" has to eat it for the remander of his stay in the house. They say its the worst! Also they say it gives you bad gas! GROSS!