December 31, 2006
The 2006 World of Wonder Wowie Awards
We took a moment and came up with a random list of random year-end superlatives because that's what people do at the end of the year. And whatever else you might think of us, we are people. Each and every person, thing, or event – best, worst, most, or whatever – is awarded a stunning, shiny, and much-coveted Wowie statuette – even if there are no hands to receive it. The statue is virtual. Congratulations to all. Results may vary. Not legal in some states.
Woman of the year: Anna Nicole Smith (inheritance woes, pregnancy, the baby, death of Daniel, "marriage" to lawyer, Methadone and baby daddy confusion, eviction)
Man of the year: Tom Cruise (M:I:3 blockbuster, the South Park incident, the baby, the baby controversy, dismissal from Paramount, fairy tale Italian wedding, recurrent proselytizing)
Best comeback from anti-Semitic crack: Mel Gibson
Best comeback from crack: Whitney Houston
Still hasn't come back: The Comeback
Most prophetic movie: The Break-Up
Most surprising break-ups: Reese and Ryan; Whitney and Bobby
The long and winding road: Paul and Heather
Oh Oh Heaven Award: Daniel Craig as James Bond
Epithets of the year: Firecrotch; Sugar Tits
Disappointment of the Year: Finding out the firecrotch forest had been clearcut.
Thong-and-Dance Award: (shared) Britney Spears; Borat Sagdiyev
Strangest crush: Osama bin Laden's jones for Whitney Houston, despite his hatred of music and black women.
Best SNL: Justin Timberlake with Justin Timberlake
Best new TV shows: Heroes; 30 Rock; New Adventures of Old Christine, Big Love; Dexter
Worst TV Show: Studio 60 on the blah blah blah
See You Next Fall Award: (shared) Boy George; Keith Richards
End of an Era Memorial Award: CBGB
Trends of the year: babies, splits, pretending to eat, outing, driving under the influence, men in suits, going commando
Easy to get hooked on: mug shots on The Smoking Gun; fashion comment on Go Fug Yourself; all of Wikipedia
Best cosmetic surgery: Isabelle Dinoire
Chronics: Pete Doherty (drugs), George Michael (car naps), Naomi Campbell (assistants)
Pink slip #1: Planet Pluto evicted from the solar system
Pink slip #2: Author James Frey evicted from Oprah's Book Club
Pink slit #1: Lindsay Lohan
Pink slit #2: Britney Spears
Queens of the Screens: Helen Mirren as Elizabeths I and II
Thanks, Now Go Away Award: (shared) Lindsay Lohan; Paris Hilton; Nicole Richie; Sacha Baron Cohen
Best year-end wrap-up video: WOW TV's "12 Days of 2006"
Lifetime Achievement Awards: Shelley Winters, Lou Rawls, Coretta Scott King, Arthur Lee, Tony Franciosa, Syd Barrett, Ruth Brown, Wendy Wasserstein, Al Lewis, Don Knotts, Darren McGavin, Dennis Weaver, Maureen Stapleton, Clarabell the Clown, Buck Owens, Gloria Monty, Aaron Spelling, Jan Murray, June Allyson, Mickey Hargitay, Red Buttons, Billy Preston, Gene Pitney, June Pointer, Mike Douglas, Bruno Kirby, Moose the dog, Barnard Hughes, Maynard Ferguson, Glenn Ford, Jack Warden, Steve Irwin, Oleg Cassini, Jane Wyatt, Ed Bradley, Jack Palance, Betty Comden, Robert Altman, Joseph Barbera, Peter Boyle, Mickey Spillane, James Brown, Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein, Anita O'Day, Mike Evans, Emmett Kelly Jr, Phyllis Kirk, Tokyo Rose, Nellie Connally, Vincent Sherman, Desmond Dekker, Elaine Young, Peter Tomarken, Gordon Parks, Anthony Franciosa, Barry Cowsill, Gerry Studds, Beth Levine, Tamara Dobson, Daniel Smith, Willi Ninja, Vince Welnick, Val Guest, Alida Valli, Allan Kaprow, Ali Farka Toure, Phyllis Gates, Candy Barr
Recently Dead
Jared Nathan, who played "Jared" on the 1999 revival of the 1972 PBS kids show Zoom, died early Thursday morning in a Nashua, New Hampshire, hospital after being a passenger in a car accident. He was 21. His 19-year-old friend who crashed the car into a tree was arrested on a charge of aggravated drunk driving. Nathan lived in Nashua and was home on Christmas break from the Julliard School in New York, where he was a third-year acting student. (Source)
Missing Letter
In this image from a story in today's LA Times Calendar section, we figure the man is searching for that other W.
Wheezing and Tweezing
We thought the usually delightful Brandon Davis didn't look well in the photo we posted Wednesday of him and Paris Hilton in Maui, and it looks like we were right. Not only does he seem to be coughing up chunks of lung in his beach chaise yesterday, but it appears as if he might also be coming down with firecrotch. And while we're getting used to him gaining enough weight to be mistaken for his fat brother Jason, now we're fascinated by his manicured eyebrows, which we never noticed before. (Photos: Pacific Coast News)
Back for Moore
It looks like Wilmer Valderrama is back with his slice of apple pie, Mandy Moore. Or rather, she's back with him after he vomited their sex secrets all over Howard Stern's radio show, claiming sex with her "wasn't like warm apple pie," whatever that actually means. The on-again couple, who dated for 18 months back in the early aughts, have been seen together shopping, eating, and partying in Miami Beach and are set to kiss in the new year tonight at Mansion. (Source; photo: Hollyscoop)
Mohr-Cox Wedding
Las Vegas hottie Nikki Cox and Last Comic Standing creator Jay Mohr got married Friday night at the Bel-Air hotel in LA. Previously, Mohr had been hitched to actress Nicole Chamberlain and Cox was engaged to comic Bobcat Goldthwait. Apparently, she likes comics and he likes girls named Nicole. (People)
December 30, 2006
21st-Century Vox
Selling Your Soul
Last night, I had the weirdest dream and wanted to share it with ya’ll. OK, so maybe it’s not exciting to hear about someone’s dream, but it leads to the story, so chill out! In my dream, I was on my way to an audition with four friend and we had to go through an old cave to get to the audition (it’s a dream, they don’t make sense). When we got into the cave, these scary zombielike people told us that they would kill us all, OR we could choose which one of us they could kill and the rest of us would go free, but we couldn't tell anyone about the cave or we would die anyway. So we all cried and fought and finally decided that my friend Scott would be killed so the rest of us could live. Then we had to continue to the audition, and I was really good because I cried a lot in the audition room and that’s what the character called for. YES, I KNOW IT’S TWISTED, but it was a dream!
December 29, 2006
It Was a Joke
Finally, something Brad likes to do. The beautiful couple vacationing in Costa Rica took a quick trip across the canal to Panama City so that architecture and design freak Brad could visit the construction site of the new Biodiversity Museum designed by Frank Gehry, which they were considering investing in. Brad is a friend of the architect but never worked for him, despite the rumor that he did. Just Jared relates the real story as told by Gehry: "Brad Pitt called me and asked if he could come visit me in the office. And he said, 'I'd love to come work in a place like this,' and I said, 'You're hired.' It was a joke."
Venus in Spurs
John Hill writes:
I was born and raised in San Antonio, Texas, and every year I looked forward to going to Spurs games with my dad to pretend i was interested so he wouldn't get mad at me for being obsessed with Barbie dolls and tap shoes. So, in other words, the San Antonio Spurs mean a lot to me. However, now that Eva Longoria has graced San Antonio with frequent, racist visits to her boyfriend, Spurs player Tony Parker, I want to never set foot in the Alamodome again.
Of Interest
Ernesto Grijalva Jr, 5, in an SUV with his family last week, taking gifts to relatives in Mexico; and Jean-Pierre Leaud, 14, with schoolmates in Truffaut's 1959 The 400 Blows, taking what life hands him. (Photos: LAT, Cahiers du Cinema)
WOW TV: Dungeon Majesty
This reminds me of all those bizarre TV shows I used to see in middle school where everything was shot in front of a green screen. I really like the opening credits. I wonder what would happen if all four of those girls got into a fight? (Click here)
– Selected by Ross Greenberg
The St. James Version
There has always been a sneaky subtext to SMALLVILLE—the whiff of a hint that Clark Kent is secretly a big nelly homo. The whole premise is OBVIOUSLY a metaphor for closeted teens (he can’t show his true self to anyone, he’s an outsider, not like the other kids, he has to hide his secret BLAH BLAH BLAH). In almost every episode of seasons 1 and 2, there was a shot of Clark, inexplicably, on all fours (or bent over a sofa, spread-eagle on the ground, etc) with Lex Luthor standing behind him (bald head looking VERY phallic). And, quite frankly, their recent fallout TOTALLY smacks of a nasty breakup, with Lex being the scorned lover. I’m just sayin’.
And then there are the LEGIONS of young boys over the past few years, that Clark befriends, and “comes out” to. IT’S ALL JUST SO GAY!. If you don’t believe me (and nobody ever does,) check out this clip from the 2004 episode “Run,” that was re-aired last night. In it, Clark hooks up (COUGH, COUGH) with the young superhero Flash. And what happens here isn’t even played as subtext. Watch it, and then YOU tell ME they aren’t going for brokeback. Even the song in the background is gay! (And people wonder why I am so obsessed with this show!)
– James St. James
Lindsay on the Loose
It's lucky that Lindsay Lohan didn't go in for joining an improv comedy troupe, that she opted instead for the scripted life, because a) she's not funny and b) she's not smart. "I don't think I've had enough experience with dating one guy for a long time," she said. "The only one was Jared, and Wilmer Valderrama." So that's two. Wait, maybe she IS funny. Meanwhile, here she is in Miami Beach with her perfect ilk Kimberly Stewart, not shown. (CelebDirtyLaundry)
A Turn for the Worse
Actually, more a turn for the better, considering 50 Cent is getting just a ticket and a handshake from a New York City traffic cop for making a wrong turn. We're guessing Mr Cent thought it was OK to make a right on red in Manhattan. (TMZ)
Teri with an I
Teri Hatcher and her new boyfriend take their bikes for a spin in West Hollywood. From here, it looks like her new love is David Gest!
Down for the Count
It would seem that celebrities are trying to get their DUIs out of the way before the end of the year so that 2007 can at least start off clean. Following in the wake of Nicole Richie, Phish guy Trey Anastasio, and Marlins pitcher Dontrelle Willis, boxer dude Mike Tyson is the latest driver to be pulled over. The former heavyweight champ was stopped early this morning after his car nearly ran into a sheriff's car while he was leaving a Scottsdale, Arizona, nightclub. He was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence and possession of cocaine. Tyson was booked at the county jail, where he was isolated from other inmates for his own safety. Like he couldn't defend himself? Ironically, Tyson had been in the Maricopa County jail before – as a guest talking to juvies about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. (Fox)
According to TMZ, the police report says Tyson had "two bags of a white powder substance [...] in his back left pocket. In addition a bag was located on the driver seat in a Marlboro cigarettes pack. [...] I observed a white powder substance on the center console of the vehicle, Mike was wiping the dash off as I approached." Tyson was informed in court today that he will be charged with felony drug possession.
Blondi
If you're wondering why Paris Hilton is currently showing off in Sydney, flopping around on surfer-friendly Bondi Beach and hosing herself down for photographers and talking on her cellphone to no one, it's because she's being paid $1 million to host a New Year's Eve party there for a new beer called Bondi Blonde, whose slogan is "At last, a natural Blonde in Bondi." Hilton will have to work hard for that million: The promoters are making her help choose the new face of the beer from 40 hot female candidates. This item is rife with irony. (Page Six)
December 28, 2006
WOW TV: Raw Bird Film
Watch as talking heads Brad and Adam explain the importance of archaeology today. I hope Indy 4 comes out soon. (Click here)
– Selected by Ross Greenberg
Coffee Clutch
This is Ashlee Simpson getting coffee with the boyfriend who's in her band, if that's what the people who play the music she sings in front of are called. The photo was taken today after they'd spent a late night at Social in Hollywood. But our interest is more in the dog she's snuggling. It seems common now for starlets to carry their pups everywhere. And we're wondering if there's been a fire at the leash factory.
The Good Sherman
We're intrigued by this Brigitte Poublon snippet that came across our electronic desk today. Poublon's the party-going president of former teen idol turned cop (and allegedly unmarried) Bobby Sherman's Volunteer EMT Foundation and paid $60,000 for an impractical Bob Mackie-designed gown at the Cher auction in October. Although the WOW Report said at the time she was Sherman's wife, that apparently was a secret we were unwittingly the first to reveal but now she wants to make public. The mysterious email today said, "You are the first to announce through the Cher auction story that Bobby Sherman is married. Get the exclusive on why Bobby Sherman chooses to keep his marriage a secret. Just ask Brigitte Poublon." It ends there, as if the sender had been shot before he could complete his message but was able to hit the send key as he took his last bre...
WOW TV: WOW Podcast
In a bold, brave experiment, James St James takes on the WOW podcast alone, needing no one, wanting no one, yet strangely being everyone. Marvel how with just simple wardrobe changes, a knowledge of accents, a trace of lip gloss, a hint of blush, and a lifetime of eye shadow, James is able to transform himself into a veritable roundtable of personalities, each with its own personal history and mind set. (Click here)
Itemizing
• John Barrowman, who plays Captain Jack Harkness on the Dr Who spinoff Torchwood, just married his longtime boyfriend Scott Gill, in a private ceremony at the St David's Hotel in Cardiff Bay, where the TV series is shot. Sir Elton and David Furnish were not among the 40 who attended the affair. (Daily Mail)
• Mariah Carey and Mary Carey are still butting heads (someone get a camera!) on that name-copyright thing. Mariah, it seems, doesn't want credit for appearing in the film Lesbian Big Boob Bangeroo 2. (TSG)
• Former "Hot Stuff" gossip columnist at Us Weekly, Timothy McDarrah, has been convicted of soliciting sex to the minor he found through Craigslist, who turned out to be an undercover federal agent posing as a 13-year-old girl. A New York jury found him guilty after an eight-day trial and he was given a mandatory minimum sentence of five years. On the bright side, he won't be working for Us Weekly anymore. (WaPo)
• Are Josh Hartnett and Gisele Bundchen an item again? We remember hearing something about their dating before Bundchen met DiCaprio, seemingly before there was an Internet. (fametastic)
• Target intends to distribute 3D glasses to the first 30,000 revelers who show up for their annual beating in Times Square on New Year's Eve. We're not sure we'd want to see that crowd any closer or clearer than the naked eye allows, thank you. (NY Daily News)
• Fargo, Blazing Saddles, Halloween, Notorious, and The T.A.M.I Show are five of the 25 films on this year's list of National Film Registry by the Library of Congress. A place on the list guarantees the film will be preserved under the National Film Preservation Act. The rest, apparently, are left to rot in hell. Read all 25 after the jump. (Variety)
WOW TV: Adam and Joe
It's Trainspotting as you've never seen it before – with toys! Watch as Runton, Spod, and Sick Toy choose toys. (Click here)
– Selected by Ross Greenberg
Earth Wind and Fire
If you happened to be passing the world-famous Manka's Inverness Lodge in Marin County in the early-morning hours yesterday you might have caught Jake Gyllenhaal and his sister Maggie fleeing from the two-story wooden building as it burned to the ground. Said a neighbor: "They weren't dressed to come out. It was early." So the treat would have been seeing the siblings, who were spending Christmas there, unfortunately not in the altogether, but wearing only their dainties as they braved the wind, rain, and fire. Firefighters think the fire was started by a tree falling onto the back of the building near a water heater. No one was injured, and Gyllenhaal assisted the the owner in pulling objects out of the fire. (Source)
Up in the Air
If this is a photograph of Kate Moss taken yesterday at Heathrow as she was about to board a plane for a holiday in Thailand, how can she also be getting married to her sweet Pete Doherty this week at the Fulham Register Office in London, where it's been reported all Pete's mates will be waiting to bear witness? (Photo: David Dyson)
All You Need Is Glove
Finally, Posh has managed to drag the accessory husband out to make the photos of her more interesting. The couple was swanning in London yesterday and ate at Zuma with celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey and his wife. We love Dave's Police Inspector Hans Wilhelm Friederich Kemp glove.
Wisteria Lane Comes to Mohamed
For some reason, it was Eva Longoria who was invited this year to open Harrods for its big-deal winter sale. She was chauffeured to Mohamed al Fayed's Knightsbridge department store this morning in a green horse-drawn carriage, and stepped out wearing a Dolce & Gabbana black minidress and a white coat. There was a collective gasp from the throngs who had lined up in front of the department store beginning at 5AM to catch a glimpse of the TV star and to get their hands on some of the marked-down merch. They thrilled to Longoria's arrival. (In previous years, they thrilled to Victoria Beckham and Kelly Brook, so it doesn't take much.) Greeting Longoria outside the store was Princess Diana's would-have-been father-in-law al Fayed, who wore a checked suit and garish shirt and handed Longoria two Pomeranians to hold for a photo shoot. Another collective gasp, but much smaller and not pleasant, was heard. Possibly thinking the Pom pups were to be skinned and made into a sporty couture item for the visiting American, a clutch of rabblerousers in the crowd began to shout "Shame on Harrod's" in protest of the store's continuing retailing of fur. Inside, a Scottish marching band followed Longoria, al Fayed, press, and the first 50 customers allowed in as they traipsed through the store's various departments. All in all, it was a splendid morning.
December 27, 2006
Naked Boys Shooting
The long-running (nine years), frequently closed (Milwaukee, Atlanta, San Juan) off-Broadway show Naked Boys Singing! is being turned into a Funny Boy Films movie. Shooting for the 10-member (so to speak) musical finishes this week at the Hayworth Theatre in LA. According to Reuters, the screen version will be restaged, with new arrangements of the 16 songs. The ensemble cast includes veterans of Jerry Springer: The Opera; Jesus Christ Superstar; and The Bible: The Search for the Truth. (via Queerty)
Quote Unquote
"I developed my stage persona to protect myself so when I go home I don't think about what I do. Sasha isn't me. I wouldn't like her if I met her offstage. She's too aggressive, too strong, too sassy, too sexy. I'm not her in real life. I'm not flirtatious and super-confident." – Beyoncé, talking about her fearless and seductive onstage alter ego, whom she calls Sasha. (3AM Girls)
WOW TV: WOW! Grounded Pilots
Welcome to the world of adult cheerleading. In this edition of Grounded Pilots, we follow the Cobra All-Stars and the Fantasy All-Stars as they prepare for their first competition of the season. Be sure to check out all the other WOW! Grounded Pilots. (Click here)
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
Andy Towle today has the sad story of Oliver Sipple, the gay former Marine who saved the life of then-President Gerald Ford by deflecting a bullet shot by would-be assassin Sara Jane Moore outside the St Francis Hotel on September 22, 1975. We hear Emilio Estevez is already at work on the screenplay. (Towleroad)
Lost and Frowned
Exiled Lost star Michelle Rodriguez and handsome friend outside the Ivy in Hollywood. From the happy expression on her face, we assume she's hoping to run into some chatty autograph-seekers. (Celebrity Smack)
Frontalmen
Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty and Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan have been coaxed into posing naked for photog Mario Testino, it's said. In fact, it's said by MacShane himself, who said: “I had my photograph taken with Mr Doherty recently.... Nothing particularly unusual, except he asked us to be naked together, which was pretty unexpected. What’s more unexpected is that we obliged.” Perhaps they weren't sober. (Entertainmentwise)
In other nudes news, Doherty has been cleared of involvement, of course, in that nasty business of a friend falling to his death from a London balcony in the early AM a while back. And Doherty has purportedly invited his band mates to the Fulham Register Office in London to witness the marriage of him and Kate sometime this week.
WOW TV: TV Pizza
TV Pizza's opening sequence is NSFW, but look what happens when a hockey mask-wearing, weed whacker-wielding madman goes after a blonde bombshell. (Click here)
– Selected by Ross Greenberg
Up to the Hilton
So Paris is in Maui with her hulking friend Brandon Davis, who looks ill. Is it wrong of us during this delightful holiday season to want to rip that damn cellphone off of Paris' ear and shove it up her ass, along with the arm holding it?
Kid Iraq
Kid Rock spent Christmas Day with US troops stationed in Iraq. Nice, but you know what would have been nicer? Pam. Bob Hope wouldn't have dreamed of visiting our boys without a bounteous rack and shapely set of gams.
Urban Sprawl
Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman, who's beginning to look like a Pekinese (and on whose ample forehead an enterprising real estate developer could build a really terrific hotel and casino), reunite in Sydney after Keith's vacation in rehab. (People)
Recently Dead
Gerald Ford, who followed Richard Nixon into the White House, was the only president not elected to office and who never ran on a national ticket. He was sometimes called "the accidental president." President Ford died yesterday of pneumonia at home in Rancho Mirage, California. He was 93, America's longest living president. For the rest of the story, turn on your television.
A Walk in the Park
Little Nicole Richie dragged up in cunning sweats yesterday and took a long noontime walk with a friend along a trail in LA's bucolic Runyan Canyon. Thirty minutes later, the tiny little exhausted thing and her friend got in the car and headed to McDonald's. At least it's a start. (Celebrity Babylon)
December 26, 2006
WOW TV: Top of the Fridge
Lotsofsave is looking for a new spokesman, but I think this guy is a little out of hand. Look what happens when the guys at Top of the Fridge imply that Wal-Mart or other discount stores could truly be bent on world domination. I think they're right. (Click here)
– Selected by Ross Greenberg
Go Fish!
A spokesman for the Auckland rescue helicopter that saved a woman at sea said the woman was sitting in the bow of a small pleasure craft in the Bay of Plenty around 2.30 in the afternoon today when, out of nowhere, a dolphin seemed to miscalculate its leap out of the water and slammed into her. "I've never heard of a dolphin hitting someone on a boat," said the spokesman. "You can't even catch them on lures when you go gamefishing; they're too smart." Exactly. The woman received several serious injuries from the apparent mishap and is in intensive care at Auckland Hospital. First the unprovoked stingray attack on Steve Irwin, then the dolphins eating chunks out of their pool in China, now this. Seems like the fishes are mad as hell and are not going to take it anymore. Now if we can just figure out what "it" is. Although we suspect "gamefishing" might be involved. (Source)
The Speed of Light
We think you should return for cash all those expensive and inappropriate gifts you got for Christmas, then spend the money on this wingéd table lamp designed in 1992 by Ingo Maurer and which retails for $650. It's equipped with the electronic Maurer-designed "Touch-Tronic" transformer-sensor-dimmer, which is activated by pinching the specially designed lightbulb. The wings are goose feathers. (MossOnline via Luxist)
Tomorrow Never Dies
Got this literal New Year card from our UK associate Frank Rehwaldt and it made us smile. We're sure the original is printed on bond paper.
Wristy Business
In a trend allegedly originated by Eva Longoria, celebs (mostly femme or gay) are getting dainty little stars tattooed on their wrists. Of course, not all celebs follow where Eva steps, so some of the ink is not so dainty and not on the wrist – but stars reign. Above, from top left: gay star tats, Britney's recent late-night addition, Eva's early warning, Lindsay's tiny star, Sienna's shoulder cluster.
WOW TV: Kids Row
In this clip, Franklin: The Mission, Franklin takes you on a tour through the blight of Skid Row on his walk to get free diapers for his niece. But the real mission here is to find a way to help this community plagued by crime, drugs, and poverty. (Click here)
– Selected by Ross Greenberg
Head Shots
The photo of Aaron Carter and new girlfriend Kaci Brown in Venice Beach reminded us of the photo from the WOW Christmas party of Perez Hilton and James St James. Only in reverse, if you see what we mean. (Photos: left, Splash News; right, Thairin Smothers)
Heir Raid
So you can't holiday in Barbados this week for fear of stepping on Simon Cowell's braless, freshly shaved titties resting akimbo on the sands, and you'll probably want to avoid Maui due to the polluting oil slick of Brandon Davis (above), who's looking more and more like his