September 30, 2005
Nonad the Barbarian
Hamp Simmons writes:
Many years ago, when I was a recent arrival to Los Angeles, one of the many wannabes trying to make their way in Hollywood, I took on all sorts of unusual jobs in order to pay the rent. I was a babysitter, I filled up cars during the gas shortage, I ran errands, I entertained at chidren's birthday parties. One of the things I often did was to work as a waiter/server/cook at private parties for entertainment industry types. This is how I came to be serving dinner to bodybuilder Arnold Scharzenegger, his manager and a few friends on the occasion of his signing the contract to play Conan.
It was a fairly simple dinner, nothing too elaborate, nothing really memorable, until after the meal when I was pouring coffee for the guests around the table. Somehow, I'm sure my own clumsiness was at fault, I managed to spill hot coffee into Arnold Scharzenegger's lap. He jumped up and I grabbed a dish cloth to wipe up the damage and suddenly there I was on my knees in front of Arnold Scharzenegger rubbing his crotch furiously with a towel. It was an awkward moment but he laughed and I laughed and we all survived.
More...
Valley Girl
Corpus Christie-born Vivid girl Mercedez gives you a taste of what's to come tomorrow night when Vivid Valley airs its first episode at 9:30 on Playboy TV. This exclusive webisode contains footage not in the 13-part series, so it will more than whet your appetite for Vivid Valley's probing all-access look into the lives of the girls who work in the world of adult video. (Watch the webisode)
The Basement Tapes
So, you kids today think your clothes are the ass? Seeing Twiggy on America's Next Top Model a few nights ago reminded us of the 1960s when she and fellow model Jean Shrimpton were the shit in swinging London. It was all fab! super! dizzying mod-style gear exploding everywhere, exciting the young and sending old-age pensioners to early graves. London was suddenly usurping Hollywood as the role model for trendy fashion. In 1999, WOW's Hollywood Fashion Machine on AMC explored the rocking shocking shagadelic movement of the '60s, with groovy period footage and comments from Twiggy and Mary Quant, unofficial queen of the mods. Yeah, seeing Twiggy reminded us of all that. (Watch the clip)
The St. James Version
On Tuesday, I was a guest on The Queer Edge with Jack E Jet. The world, as I see it, is divided into two types of people: Jack E Jet fanatics, and the rest of the world who has no idea who Jack E Jet is. Which is everyone who doesn't live in Texas, Canada, or on the East Coast. Which are the only places that get the Q network. Jack E, just so you know, is a total madman. His show can't really be described, so I'm not even going to try. You just have to experience it for yourself.
I was on the show with my good friend, future icon Lenore Claire, who brought with her a "special friend." Lenore has VERY LARGE BREASTS, you see, and tends to wear a lot of high heels and patent leather and, as a result, has many very strange fans. She arrived with Bobby Trample, a really cute muscle guy who's heavy into the trampling scene. Yes, you heard me. He likes to get trampled on. It's all the rage, apparently. The next big thing in sex, darling. So we did the interview while trampling on him. And we had everyone else in the studio trample on him too. Apparently this got him rock hard. Isn't that fantastic? I sometimes like when fat, black men lie on top of me, so I wonder if this is related, fetishwise? I just thought I'd throw that out there.
Also on the show: Dan from The Real World, who was absolutely adorable, Mini-Kiss, and a superhero whose power is that he can climb on people (you don't want to know). Pics after the jump.
(Photo: James with Lenore and Mini-Kiss – and they're not kneeling!)
– James St. James
More...Addressed to Kill
James St. James!
It's Maggie Zeltner here, your trusty producer from Top Model, and I am dying to know what you thought! I read your little blurb on the WOW Report, and was quite disappointed that you did not mention me, but I digress. Seriously though, thank you soooo much for everything. The episode was fantabulous. We did really well in the ratings, beating out Martha Stewart's Apprentice and we ended up being the #1 show in New York City!
Also, I got an email from our friend Simon Doonan (who has been on the show in the past) and he had this to say: "Just saw James Saint James - a total acid trip. His Michael Alig book is brilliant."
Hope you are well!
XOXO Maggie
Good Mourning America!
Apornalypse now. Compassion smut peaked this morning on The Today Show in a spectacle of musical self-congratulation of indescribable ickyness. Watch it – if you can – while you read this article in the LA Times about the vomitorium that television with pity has become, thanks to the trend of extreme phoney makeover – now sanctified by a forthcoming appearance by Laura Bush.
Inhumanity Plaza is a toxic waste dump of self-promoting Z-listers "building" houses unlikely to withstand a summer breeze, let alone a hurricane. On "completion" they are taken apart to be shipped off somewhere. At various points in the week, Katie expressed the need to show us pictures of the finished homes and where they supposedly were going, perhaps to dissuade us from thinking that after the show these celebrity knock-ups are carted off to be used as kindling.
– Fenton Bailey
A Program Note
Tomorrow night, WOW's Vivid Valley series debuts on Playboy TV at 9:30. A few days ago, Yahoo Finance had a comprehensive piece about the 13-parter that goes deep into the lives of some of Vivid Entertainment's hottest porn-star babes. When you read it, note that the episodes are 30 minutes, not an hour.
Hey Mister Telly Man
Adam Perry from the London office has a tight grip on his clicker and he channels some of what they're watching in the UK.
Back to the Future - ITV's celebration of its 50 years by getting ubiquitous hosts Ant and Dec to revive old game shows, from way back in the day, has proved a stunning success with viewers.
The Unteachables - C4's newest reality series with an issue at its heart follows super-teachers known for their ability to turn around difficult kids and gives them a class full of the worst behaved, least teacher-friendly teens you can find. The challenge to our superheroes of the classroom – teach the unteachable.
James Hewitt: Under Hypnosis - Britain's best-known cad and Princess Diana's one-timer lover went under hypnosis to answer all those questions we'd been dying to ask, like Are you the father of Prince Harry? Hypnotised or not, he still refused to answer incriminating questions! The truth is still out there, somewhere!
Inside Britain's Fattest Man - Honey, I shrunk the host – and then inserted him inside the layers of blubber and organs that comprise the body of Britain's most obese male to see how his body is coping with the excessive poundage.
Wife Swap - Is this powerhouse format
beginning to lose its appeal? The new series has seen the sparkle taken off its ratings performance and critics are turning against what they regard as cynical manipulation. Watch this space.
COMING UP:
Convent - After the success of The Monastery, the BBC has got the abbey habit as it searches for a convent that will allow the cameras in to repeat the process with women.
– Adam Perry
Wool You Marry Me?
Today, surreal British weddings. The country is still reeling from our biggest celeb hitch-up in years, as laughable "musician" Peter Andre and surgically enhanced model Jordon got married in a ceremony as extravagant as a Dior Homme toothpaste cozy. The picture sums up the wholly tasteful affair.
With the longest-ever train and that massive cake, it was always going to be hard to beat, but it looks as if someone's already done it. Next month, London plays host to the world's first ever knitted wedding. Everything is woven, from the confetti to the cake. The veil itself is knitted by machines on wheels during the ceremony, so the train gets longer and longer as the day goes on. The stakes are set.
– Tim Hancock
September 29, 2005
Sitings
• Guns 'N Roses' full-length "Paradise City" – only cuter. (via Popbitch)
• All the nicknames George W Bush has given people. They're odd, like Landslide, Corndog, and Turd Blossom. Maybe you had to be there. (t/y Eduardo)
• Font fighters. Helvetica vs Arial deathmatch. (t/y Eduardo)
Snap! Cap
"Congratulations my son. Today, you are a man. Tomorrow, maybe a topiary." (Great Pumpkin)
Babies on Board
This story is wrong in so many ways. At the Bogota Airport in Colombia, 1) human fetuses were found 2) stuffed inside religious statues that were 3) smashed open by officers searching for drugs. Authorities believe the fetuses, 4) which were four or five months old 5), were on their way to Miami to be 6) used in Satanic rituals. (BBC)
Two Things
Shut up. Two weeks ago, Whitney Houston was flown to the south of France to perform for a Russian billionaire, along with Christina Aguilera and Enrique Iglesias, says British gossip scribe Popbitch. But at the last minute, two hours before the show, in fact, all of Whitney's teeth fell out and her people had to cancel her performance so that she could have an emergency set of dentures made. Story sounds a bit extreme.
The 'bitch also reports there's a rumor here in the US that the breakup of the very recent marriage of Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney was due to Kenny's "friendship" with Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning. Add two bits and a pickup truck and you have the makin's of a song.
Pink Is the New Shame
hi, again – returning fan here. as always, love what you've done with the place. congrats to james on his star turn on ANTM, airkiss, airkiss, etc.
i wanted to bring this story to your attention: apparently the pink visitors' locker room at the iowa hawkeyes' stadium (my home state, no less) has come under fire, as it "perpetuates offensive stereotypes about women and homosexuality" as reported by espn.com.
i don't know how the woman who filed this complaint gets off connecting a pink locker rooms with homosexuals (her suggestion that there even IS a connection is more insulting than any supposed implied affront, if you ask me), but she should really keep her hands out of our pants and speak for herself.
anyway, that's all for me.
bestest,
buzz
campblood
Anatomy of a Charlize Theron Fan
Have you ever wondered what a Charlize Theron Fan looks like? I often have, and set about today at Charlize's Hollywood Walk of Fame star ceremony trying to answer that very question. A Charlize Theron Fan falls into one of four main categories:
1. Faggots. (Loved Charlize in The Cider House Rules)
2. Serial killers. (Loved Charlize in Monster)
3. Lookalikes. (Ditching work at Grauman's next door)
4. German tourists. ("Karleez who?")
– Steven Corfe
TJ Jourian
TJ is one of the stars of the WOW documentary series TransGeneration, which airs on the Sundance Channel on Tuesdays at 9PM.
1. Describe yourself as if you were writing a personals ad.
Fun-loving critter, enjoys good food and political banter, seeks one with car, money, and cooking skills willing to share.
2. If you had two tickets to paradise, where would you go and who would you take?
A sandy-white beach in Honolulu at a hotel with internet access (!) and I'd take Diana Taurasi with me.
3. Who plays you in the movie?
Tobey Maguire.
4. Who do you go to for advice?
Staci, Jordan, Arielle, and Erin.
5. What makes you cry?
Thinking about my ex-fiancee or my family.
And Another Thing
Really, Princess Elizabeth's coronation didn't get this much attention back in 1953. But today is all about another queen's crowning glory. So we thought you might like to read what a fan of James had to say on her blog, Melodramatic, about the boy's stylin' TV appearance.
The St. James Version
OH, OF COURSE I WATCHED IT. Who was I kidding?
OK, in the first place, I NEVER should have buttoned that orange jacket. I looked like some sort of circus sausage. I swear to god I'm not 300 lbs. There was a lot of volume in the fabric! No, really! It was a BIG DRESS. Really thick taffeta! And the natural lighting! OMG! I looked TERRIFYING! Like I might DEVOUR one of the girls! And did you notice my teeth were as orange as my jacket? At least I was coordinated.
That first segment was the one that I was most scared of, but it actually turned out OK. Once it was all cut together it was much more fun than I thought it would be. So I'm fine with everything. Except that damn button. If I had a time machine and could go back and change history, THAT'S what I would do. Unbutton my jacket on America's Next Top Model. Yes. Then maybe stop the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, or pull Christ off the cross, but that's a little more complicated. So really, just change the one button and come back.
Anyway. The dress. Yes, I've worn it before. It's an Adolfo from the '70s, and probably the ugliest, most retarded thing I own, which was why I wore it – to show the girls not to take "fashion" and "beauty" too seriously. They didn't seem to follow my example though – for a "personal-style" segment, they seemed awfully bland.
More...It's a Pod, Pod, Pod, Pod Cast
If seeing is believing, you're not gonna believe this. Huh? We've got video, which Fenton keeps wanting to call a vlog, which makes little sense. But the upshot is that it's like when sound was first introduced at the movies, only it's the reverse of that. Anyway, if you're looking, be aware that, clockwise from left, you're seeing Fenton, Randy, James, Moye, Tom, and Jim. At first, Randy makes everyone listen to and try to identify some music, then James talks about his stint on America's Next Top Model and gives up some behind-the-seams secrets. Then it's general ANTM chatter for a spell. There's talk of the Atlanta woman doing crystal and bonding with the rapist-murderer who held her hostage, as related on Oprah, who Fenton thinks is "the new Marie Antoinette," and who, along with Tyra and Martha, is one of the talk show hosts who are the "new rock stars," which brings to our mind an image of the Queen of France rockin' out with a Stratocaster. Other topics include Geena Davis as the Commander in Chief; The Showbiz Show; Breaking Bonaduce; Stevie Nicks on The Today Show; the National Enquirer reporting that GW Bush is drinking again; a hilarious section of conversation on celebrities hammering nails into the Habitat for Humanity houses on The Today Show; Winonna Judd; Koreans learning Spanish, and vice versa, in LA; Jordy Chandler; Demi and Ashton wedding, Kathy Griffin's divorce, and Bernadette Peters' dead husband; and last but not least (enough), Star Jones on OxyContin?
Shelf Life: James Goes Junior
Last night on ANTM James St James simply stole the show in something large, billowy, and dotted, perfectly accessorized with a megaphone and sandals. But he is more than just a pretty face, and is written up in the latest Publishers Weekly in advance of his second book Freak Show, due to hit stores – wait for it – in Spring 2007.
Young Adult's boundaries had to expand for the books to remain relevant, says Mark McVeigh, a senior editor at Dutton. "The lives of kids today are barely recognizable from the childhoods anybody over 30 led in the way they approach sex, drugs, alcohol, parental attention or the lack thereof," he said. McVeigh sought out James St. James, author of the adult nonfiction title Party Monster (Simon & Schuster) and signed up Freak Show (spring '07) a YA novel about a Florida teen drag queen. "It certainly could find a place on an adult list, but James wanted to write a book for kids," McVeigh said. St James is not alone. A long list of writers established in adult fiction – Walter Mosely, Joyce Carol Oates, James Patterson, Ridley Pearson, Alice Hoffman, Francine Prose – have published novels with juvenile imprints this year.
In spite of that amazing line-up of boldface, I personally think James is a better writer than all of them, and the prefect voice – with a nod perhaps to Dennis Cooper and J T Leroy – to turn YA into something less Harry Potterish and more real. But do we really have to wait till 2007?
UFOs Are Coming to Puerto Rico
Lajas, Puerto Rico: According to its residents, not such an ordinary place. As you enter the city, you see a bright green sign reading "Extraterrestrial Route." Now, so sure are they that any otherworldly being will pick their little village for their first diplomacy mission / mass attack, plans have begun to build a $100,000 landing strip specifically for aliens,
"I can't say exactly when they will come," says local teacher Reynaldo Rios, "but I know it will happen."
– Tim Hancock
September 28, 2005
Not Playing With a Full Dick
As we start to gather (hover? prance?) around our TV sets in preparation for James St. James's guest arc on America's Next Top Model tonight, we do so with the knowledge that this woman, this modelle, this next top contestant named Coryn may actually be a man. Per kenneth in the (212):
A longtime Top Model enthusiast/close friend tells me he's convinced there's going to be a major plot twist this season when it's revealed that contestant Coryn either "has a dick" or "used to have a dick" (not that there's anything wrong with that).
She Ate the Hole Thing
Ever since Chris Rock saw an HBO America Undercover doc about life in prison, he has been obsessed with and responsible for popularizing the term "tossing the salad" (click here to find out what it means – it's too rude for us to print). Well, I never thought I would live to see a tossing-the-salad item on The Today Show, but sure 'nuff, they did it. Desperate anchor Katie Couric managed to steal the scene from Jamie Oliver (aka The Naked Chef) and upstage everyone thanks to her new but rapidly-tiring schtick as all-round klutz.
Jamie was showing the team how to toss salad by waving it above one's head in a plastic bag. Everybody except Katie realized that to do this successfully you had to hold the bag closed while doing the waving, otherwise salad would be tossed all over the place. Hilarity ensued. Unfortunately, no clip of the festivities ensues this post.
– Fenton Bailey
19th Nervous Breakfast
Back in 1964ish, the Rolling Stones sang a jingle for Rice Krispies cereal (yes, they really did), and hearing it today, honey, it's off the hook!
The Rooftop Tapes
As Anna Nicole Smith goes to Washington to visit the cute judges of the Supreme Court, we were reminded of the 2002 WOW documentary Dark Roots: The Unauthorized Anna Nicole. Smith's hillbilly family are dear sweet loving people who are too easily ridiculed, as in the case here of Shelly Cloud, Smith's cousin, who in this outtake from the doc was barely recovering from a night of excess when she agreed to meet the crew on the roof of the WOW offices. Watch the clip (19MB), though it might make you spit up a little in your mouth.
Miss Jones Gets a Makeover
Vivid Entertainment's hot remake of the classic The Devil in Miss Jones is new on DVD and in stores now, and makes a delightful double-feature with Inside Deep Throat (also out on DVD), if you ask us. Devil stars Vivid girls Jenna Jameson and Savanna Samson (how freakin' uncanny is it that the parents of future porn stars gave their babies alliterative names!). Georgina Spelvin (an exception), who starred in Deep Throat director Gerard Damiano's 1973 original Devil, makes a guest appearance.
With a budget far higher than other adult movies and dazzling sex scenes woven together with a thought-provoking story line, "The New Devil in Miss Jones" blurs the viewer's perception of what appears to be hyper-realism with evocative fantasy sequences. As Ms. Devlin, the Devil, Jameson captures the mood when she tells a horror-struck Justine Jones, "things seem a little bit mixed up, don't they?" (AINews)
Meanwhile, we'd like to show you some behind-the-scenes footage with Jenna and Savanna that was shot on the set of the new Devil film for WOW's 13-part Vivid Valley documentary series, premiering October 1 on the Playboy Channel. (Watch the clip)
Bagg'd
If you've been around us a while, you know we're obsessed with the swag that's rained upon celebrities simply because they're celebrities. We're not full-on bitter that we have to spend money on the latest digital toy or Prada tank, but perhaps "unnaturally curious" is the operative phrase. Above, recent Emmy booty in all its complimentary beauty. But in actuality, when you get it home and sort through, it's mostly shit. Will-work-for-swag actor Brad Benton has a word or two on this subject at his Get Spunk'd blog.
Briefs Encounter
Big news: Inmates steal. But the California Sheriff's Department is putting a stop to at least some of it. Socks, shirts, and skivvies – now being worn out of stir at an alarming rate (morbid souvenir?) – are getting a bright orange dye job to match the fetching jumpsuits so that when exiting inmates change into their street clothes the undies will POP! and they'll be instructed to take them off and hand them over. We imagine the job of receiving the shorts has the same cachet as handing out towels in gym class and fluffing on a porno set. Someone's gotta do it. (The News Vault)
Nooze
An interesting nugget of news from Sunday's The Observer:
An extraordinary appeal to Americans from the Bush administration for money to help pay for the reconstruction of Iraq has raised only $600 (£337), The Observer has learnt. Yet since the appeal was launched earlier this month, donations to rebuild New Orleans have attracted hundreds of millions of dollars.
The public's reluctance to contribute much more than the cost of two iPods to the administration's attempt to offer citizens "a further stake in building a free and prosperous Iraq" has been seized on by critics as evidence of growing ambivalence over that country.
Pirate Newsflash
It's only Wednesday, but already this week's news is starting to seem like Jules Verne and Robert Louis Stevenson novels. Firstly, after years of searching, a real live giant squid has finally been photographed off the coast of Japan. It's at least eight meters long. Maybe 18. They snared it with a huge line but it got loose by tearing off a five meter length of one of its tentacles.
If that wasn't enough, out on the other side of the Pacific the "biggest treasure hoarde in history" has been located; 600 barrels of gold coins and Incan jewels on the remote and aptly named "Crusoe Island," worth $10bn. They were found by a tunnelling robot.
And Keith Richards has just been confirmed for the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels! And he's playing Jack Sparrow's dad! This is too much.
– Tim Hancock
September 27, 2005
Sitings
• This is not as good as if you'd TiVo'd it, but if you didn't TiVo it then this is really good. Google presents the entire pilot of Everybody Hates Chris, without commercial interruption. (t/y Tom)
• Say what? Slang City.
• Ditty-O's, instructional videos for the instructionally impaired. (t/y Poppa San)
• 465 lost photographs have found a home with us. If all sites were like this, we'd be in heaven. Savor.
• Paparazzi TV. Photographerseye views of celebrity comings and goings with some Flash video previews. Check out Lindsay Lohan.
Snap! Cap
[Ed note: We couldn't pick a single winner this time because they were ALL really good. We're so pleased with you guys today!]
For Sale
Vince Vaughn recently packed up and moved to Chicago, now Christian Slater is moving to New York where he intends to make a career treading the boards on Broadway. It was during his stint in The Glass Menagerie on the Great White Way that the 36-year-old was arrested for forcibly touching aka groping a woman one late night on the Upper East Side, so you'd think he'd want to hightail it, so to speak, out of NY. But the lure of the stage is very powerful. He's listed his 6,500-square-foot Brentwood house (above) for $5.7 million (he bought it three years ago for $4.5 million.) The five-bedroom, 6+-bathroom house in a gated community has a pool and a spa.
Meanwhile, newly svelt Jack Osbourne, spawn of Ozzy, is selling his surprisingly cute, modest two-bedroom, 2+-bathroom bungalow in the Beverly Center area for $1.4 million and has purchased another in the Hollywood Hills for $1.6 million. "He wants to turn his new home into a mini-compound," says his estate agent. (Hot Property)
Oar Else
JT LeRoy on the cover of the NY Times Travel Magazine? Not too surprising. But, though he does have an article in the magazine, it's not JT LeRoy on the cover. This image is from a completely separate fashion shoot. Oh those wacky NY Times folks! If only they had spent more time editing JT's piece. While I am a fan of his work, I really struggled reading his travel piece. Yes, I know it will make me hugely unpopular, given that most believe JT is the second coming! (I'll take James St. James any day!)
– Randy Barbato
The Neverending Story
If at first you don't succeed, try try that case again. Anna Nicole Smith, the world's most bodacious widow, is taking her plea for the $475 million from her late husband's estate to the Supreme Court. We think she's entitled, if only for services rendered. She made the 89-year-old oil tycoon, J Howard Marshall II, feel like he was a happy young stud during that one year they were married before he died. But the son of the Montgomery Burns-like baron, E Pierce Marshall, thinks otherwise and has stopped her at every turn so far. Now it's up to the highest court. Smith's plaint has become the fabric of our lives; if she ever wins, it will be anticlimactic, like finding the one-armed man.
All We Are Saying
Imagine. Ex-Beatle John Lennon's hand-written lyrics for his and Yoko's anthemic "Give Peace a Chance" are about to be auctioned for an estimated $40,000. The words were scribbled on a sheet of stationery from the couple's three-room suite at the Queen Elizabeth Hotel in Montreal, the very hotel where they put on pajamas and staged their outrageous (at the time, and only to some people) Bed-in performance. It was 1969; there was a nasty war raging in Vietnam, and Canada welcomed deserters with open arms. "Give Peace a Chance" and Bed-in were arguably the best things that ever happened to then-trendy Canada. And now it's time for the Canucks to cash in.
The coming sale of Lennon's Montreal manuscript follows the discovery of a previously unheard, hour-long bed-in interview with the couple by a CBC radio journalist - expected to fetch more than $40,000 at a separate auction tomorrow - and the July sale of the bedspread from their 17th-floor room at the Queen Elizabeth for almost $80,000.
Also expected to go on the block are several sheets of Canadian toilet paper used to wipe the famous couple's asses and were never flushed. They are expected to bring $3 - $4 Canadian.
(Photo: A Christie's porter holds a first working draft of lyrics for John Lennon's "I'm Only Sleeping." We're wondering how much those gloves holding it are worth now that they've touched it.)
Stagedoor Joanie
Various New York experts in the field have called it "mesmerizing," "priceless," "inspired," and "an astonishing and unique creation, gloriously possessed and berserk!" And now John Epperson's The Passion of the Crawford is coming to Los Angeles (where Joan did her best work, incidentally). The genius NY legend Lypsinka will be appearing as the heinous Hollywood legend Thursdays through Sundays, from October 6 to 23, at the Renberg Theatre, 1125 McCadden Place, near Highland and Santa Monica. We'll be there. For more info, consult Lypsinka.com.
John Epperson tells us that Joan Crawford's surrogate daughter, a Florida real estate agent named Queeney, went backstage after the show in New York. "She told me that Joan constantly sipped vodka and nibbled little biscuits and laughed at herself while doing it!"
GLAAD Lads
Loath though anyone is to give GLAAD any more coverage, reading porn star Lucas's totally right-on rants about GLAAD has been highly entertaining. In a nutshell, they want his money but they don't want anything to do with him. And now the perfumer and gay-about-town Alan Cumming has joined the gay fray:
Michael, it comes as no surprise to me how shabbily you have been treated. did you know GLAAD is now presided over by a REPUBLICAN?!! it's true. and also, I really do feel that so many organisations such as GLAAD that set out to speak out for people like you and me inevitably (in this current political climate) get cold feet and begin to ape all the worst traits of the organisations that they proclaim to be fighting. good for you to call them on it. love from alan x
In the past, we've had our own disagreements with GLAAD.
– Fenton Bailey
Two Things
A man in Long Island, New York, reports Newsday, was driving a 2001 Volvo dump truck with a faulty gas gauge. At an intersection in Lynbrook, he decided to jump out and do a visual check of the fuel level. At 38, he should have known not to use his cigarette lighter to see into the tank. The explosion landed him in the hospital in critical condition, with second-degree burns to the face, chest, and right arm.
Per the jokes, you expect that sort of thing to happen in Poland. And they do. Somehow, claims Reuters, an 18-month-old child managed to climb into a car and start the engine and run over three members of the family, pinning Grandpa against the barn. We assume the baby's breath reeked of sour milk.
A Mikey Wind
Let's respark interest in Jodie Foster's sexuality, shall we? Talk seems to have died down of late. Michael Musto caught the action star guesting on Ellen the other day and wrote a little something in the Web Extra section of his Village Voice column.
JODIE FOSTER's appearance on Ellen this Monday provided a potpourri bowl full of lesbian content—subtextually, anyway. First off, the two ladies admitted they hang out in the same places ("I see you at the market," Jodie interestingly remarked to ELLEN.) Then they talked about Jodie's butch mama character in Flightplan ("This was written for a man," she confessed.) And getting more intimate, they discussed how, when she was the Coppertone girl in a commercial, they'd put treats in Jodie's pants to make the dog pull 'em down. "Does the Coppertone girl still have treats in her pants?" wondered Ellen. "I'm sure she does," exclaimed Jodie, who then got all uncomfortable and smiled, "I don't want to continue with that line of questioning."
And while we were reading Musto (not to filth, just reading), we found a mention of a WOW production.
First off, the WORLD OF WONDER's Trans-Generation series, playing on the Sundance Channel, moved audiences of all hormones on a recent college tour, and—this is the real test—it's even touched its own been-around-the-block makers. Co-producer RANDY BARBATO tells me, "It's the first time we all made sure we had a box of tissues next to the monitor whenever we watched a rough cut."
Her Highness Has a 'Tash
It's only days away from Prince William's first official outing with Kate Middleton, his first royal-approved girlfriend. She's spent the last month locked away in training for the onset of paparazzi photos. This is probably a good thing, as today The Sun printed photos of her as a child.
"Fair enough," you're thinking. But no no, she's not the one on the left. She's the one with the tennis racket. We're not sure whether it's a smudge or if she actually has a moustache. There's also this photo of her dressed as "Dick." However, we must concede that she has now become, as one royal commentary website puts it, "one sexy hunk of woman."