October 28, 2005
Celebrities at Large and in Costume
Remember, James saw Paris Hilton loading up with Halloween fixin's at Hollywood Toys & Costumes the other day. Then practically the next day Thairin Smothers runs into Johnny Knoxville at the same place. Right now, today, Hollywood is, as the gays say, "a nightmare for days." And most of it's on the Toys & Costumes block, where the police and firemen are dividing it rather arbitrarily, we think, into sections with yellow crime-scene tape. It's "a nightmare" to try to shop along that tired boulevard of stars. Thairin says Knoxville and his daughter were shopping for angel wings, among other stuff. A young boy went up to him at the counter and asked him to sign a toy plastic knife. Knoxville wrote, Go stab somebody, Johnny Knoxville. "He's very cute in person," Thairin said.
Update: Turned out the fuss with the tape and the police was caused by a terrorist scare inside Hollywood Toys & Costumes, wouldn't you know, packed with stars as it is this holiday season. A suspicious box, apparently. Whatever. What we didn't know was that the real danger has been lurking the whole time just up the block at the corner Starbucks, nestled among the Scientology buildings and the Hollywood Sex Museum. According to Fenton, a report on Prime Time last night revealed that this very Starbucks, where we get our coffee, is an "isolated and unfortunate" franchise that serves decaf containing 95 parts of caffein, more than in a shot of espresso. So forget mysterious packages, the real terror is Osama bin laden with caffeine.
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