Mark Lisanti

Editor, Defamer.com


1. Describe yourself as if you were writing a personals ad.
SWM, 31, enjoys blogging for 12 hours at a stretch, drinking too much coffee, and long strolls along Hollywood Boulevard to run scams on foreign tourists who are all too eager to believe that I'm selling them a map to Tom Cruise's pot of gold. Act fast, ladies, this one's a catch!

2. If you had two tickets to paradise, where would you go and who would you take?
To a maximum security women's prison cell with Jennifer Connelly. Jessica Alba gets my ticket, as long as she sends me a postcard detailing their first night together in lockup.

3. Who plays you in the movie?
Marlon Brando, circa 2003. I hate to spoil the ending, but it doesn't end well for the Defamer guy.

4. Who do you go to for advice?
There's this surprisingly sage transient man that hangs out in front of my liquor store who's a great listener, but keeps trying to convince me that he used to run Disney. Nah, couldn't be...

5. What makes you cry?
Thinking that 2003 Marlon Brando might not be tragic enough to play me by the time they make the movie.

Bonus: Toilet roll - over or under?
Somehow, I overcame an oppressive "under" upbringing and now enjoy a far more evolved "over" existence.

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