November 22, 2005
The Rimming of America
American men never grow up. Currently, they're obsessed with rims, those dazzling, spinning chrome devices on the wheels of their rides, which are simply more expensive versions of the dazzling, spinning tops they had as kids. Apparently, flashy rims attract women, though this was never the goal in pre-K with tops and hasn't been proven outside of the low-riding cholo community with rims – especially when the driver steps out of his car and it's obvious the money should have been spent on a nicer wardrobe if attracting women was the aim. Still, rims pervade. Take notice as you drive along the streets of your town. Everywhere you look, it's a festive parade of twirling reflective chrome, like little ferris wheels. It's only a matter of time before they'll come self-powered, able to operate independently of the car-host. Of course, the gays have always been obsessed with rims, but not quite in the same way.
PS: We think the old-school hubcabs on our '86 Volvo are kinda sexy.
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