Ground Zero Percent Down

The Port Authority of New York has decided to – what the hell – erect the World Trade Center memorial itself, after being a quiet behind-the-scenes voice in the brouhaha over what it will be and who will be doing it. Also, says Curbed, Port Authority will build Cortlandt Way, a massive retail complex (shopping mall), across the street from it. Lucky tourists and pilgrims alike will be able to sip a double latte from Starbucks, browse Bloomingdale's and the Gap, and try on shades at the Sunglass Hut on their way to the memorial. "Well, George Bush did stand on the ruins after 9/11 and exhort people to go shopping as a way to fight terrorism," remembers Fenton Bailey, wryly. But MemeFirst mourns that it looks as if there won't be "New York's shopping mecca" known as Century 21; artist renderings of the proposed complex do not include the store. Fenton calls Century 21 "Wal-Mart for metrosexuals."

"And just yesterday," says Fenton, "Oprah underscored shopping as an article of faith when she rewarded her audience of handpicked hurricane heroes with grace and Hope in a Jar (premium face and bath products from Philosophy), plus brownies, video iPods, and bathrobes on her annual Oprah's Favorite Things show." Commence screaming.

Related entries:

1. Bench Bugs: Turns out rats, urine, and mental patients...
2. Wake Up to the Wonderful World of Alpacas!: You can imagine how running a big...
3. Itemizing: Children in the News: • San Francisco former priest and host...
4. Getting Ahead in Texas: Texans Matthew Richard Gonzalez, left, and Kevin...
5. Baby Picture: One of the interns here at World...