March 31, 2005
Unleash
Get in early on this chat about Showdog Moms & Dads on Data Lounge. It's hilarious.
Was it just me, or was anyone else grossed out by that older couple? The guy kept tongue kissing his dogs and the wife keeps crusty chicken hearts in her mouth as treats during shows! And his voice sounds like the old pervy guy from Sixteen Candles, Long Duck Dong's host father.
From the Desk of the JG
We learned today of the sad passing of a brilliant comedic mind. Mitch Hedberg was one of the funniest stand-ups around. Here is just a small piece of his genius. – Jim Galasso
I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow shit.
Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Boy, you really like Tide."
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means it's dirty.
At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to hard.
It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. "Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic." "Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupus." One of those two doesn't sound right.
My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause."
I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that day...
If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable.
I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
Why are there no "during" pictures.
Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.
When someone hands you a flier, it's like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.'
I wish I could play Little League now. I'd be way better than before.
I had a bag of Texas Grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. They reminded me of when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, "Better flip that Frito, dad, you know how I like mine."
I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again" because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up! An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top."
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No. But I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah."
[Ed note: Read what there is to read about Hedberg's death at mtv.com.]
What's New on IDT?
Two generations' takes on Inside Deep Throat. Richard Corliss at Time magazine has a nostalgic take as he looks back on the days of porno chic. Amber North is too young to have nostalgia; her fresh column in the Western Kentucky University newspaper doesn't look back.
Pope Watch 2005
This just in. Pope John Paul II, sick with a lot of things including hip and knee problems and Parkinson's disease, was given the last rites of the Roman Catholic Church late Thursday night (Rome time), CNN.com reports. The Vatican is quick to point out that "last rites" doesn't necessarily mean last rites. Just as Cher's "farewell tour" never really means farewell tour. The pontiff, you'll remember, received last rites back in 1981 when he was shot by a would-be assassin.
Speak! Showdog Moms & Dads Exclusive
OK, so you watched Showdog Moms & Dads last night. Today, we have the moms and dads on the phone for an exclusive podcast for the WOW Report. Hear what the new TV stars have to say about seeing themselves on the series premiere.
1. Ryan and Brandon
2. George and Connie
3. Moira and Adam
4. Lourdes
5. Kyra
The Nick of Time
Nick Carter, Backstreet Boy, was pulled over one evening this month by California cops for a traffic violation that turned out to be a DUI. (Alcohol, by the way, will worsen the sense of guilt one feels for shirking responsibility and leaving one's little brother in the overnight care of Michael Jackson, Nick.) The singer failed the field sobriety test and was booked into the Huntington Beach City Jail, where he stayed for four hours. This is his mug shot, damn him. Either there's a painting of him somewhere with bloodshot eyes, bags, and rotting flesh or he's only 25. (StrangeCosmos)
Two Things
Two things about royalty pop up this week, both from Popbitch, the weekly gossip newsletter. There's a rumor going about the UK that Queen Elizabeth might have a serious illness and may be knighting the Grim Reaper very soon. Which, PB explains, is why Charles and Camilla are in such a bloody hurry to get married. Liz would like her House of Windsor to be in order and Charles comfortably seated on the throne before Sir Grim comes at her with a feeding tube.
But even more alarming is this item about a beloved Oscar wiener.
Nicole Kidman is a Fem-bot. [She] has paper thin skin after so many treatments to remove her freckles. Apparently if you press her forehead with your finger it will leave an indent that takes ages to return to normal.
But who would dare to press his finger into her forehead?
Behind the Blur
Many people – including myself – have been wondering just what was up with all the blurring and bleeping on last night's premiere of Showdog Moms & Dads. Since when is the word "Hump" – as in "when Oolala humps her brother" – a dirty word that has to be bleeped? (And the bleeps make it seem so much worse than it it really is.)
Well, it was a surprise to all of us here at WOW. And to Bravo as well. Seems an editor at the broadcast facility used by Bravo had some sticky fingers and took it upon himself to edit the show. Heads are rolling. Fur is flying. Someone's in the doghouse. You get the point.
The good news is that as of this morning the show has been restored to its original splendor. . . and it's airing more than a dozen times this week. So really, this is the perfect excuse to catch the show again in its full, uncut version. Humping dogs and all!
– Todd Radnitz
[Ed note: Idle rumor around the WOW offices is that NY Times TV critic Virginia Heffernan may have found her way into that broadcast facility.]
Snap!
Sorry, kids, even Queen Elizabeth can't save poor Terri Schiavo now. And get your hand out from under her dress! (t/y Ray)
Pope Watch 2005
The pope has said recently that he wants to be kept alive artificially if he lapses into a coma or becomes a vegetable, which right now seems not out of the question. John Paul, who is currently being fed through a nasal tube, last year changed Catholic guidelines for treating dying patients when he described tube-feeding as a normal treatment rather than an extraordinary measure that can be stopped if all hope of recovery fades. "The administration of water and food, even when provided by artificial means, always represents a natural means of preserving life, not a medical act," he said, and to remove the tube would be like "euthanasia by omission," even though the Church has taught that ending life-support was OK if the patient's chances of living was hopeless.
"The Pope can say any number of things but he has to tell the bishops' conferences when they have to change something," added Father James Keenan S.J., ethics professor at Boston College. "He hasn't done this." As a result, he said, the U.S. bishops' conference and the Catholic Health Association have not renounced the more flexible earlier position even though many Catholic leaders support Schiavo's parents' demand to continue feeding her. "We've spent centuries letting people figure out how they want to go to meet God, and now we have these fairly intrusive claims on a patient," Keenan said in his critical assessment of how the Pope was changing Church teaching on the end of life. "It doesn't seem good for the Church to rethink how to die when the Pope himself is ailing," he said. "The dying of a Pope should not set our agenda." (My Way via Drudge)
Recently Dead
Mitch Hedberg, one of WOW's favorite comedians died on Tuesday. It's not funny. It may have been a drug overdose that killed him, but that hasn't been confirmed. We're very sad. We'll get back to you. His official website should have news.
March 30, 2005
Sitings
• T-shirt for the pop culture crowd. (t/y Brent)
• Keep this drunk German on his feet. And for God's sake take his keys. (t/y Beau)
• Is this 911 operator irresponsible not to take this woman's call more seriously? Or a goddess for staying on the phone as long as she did? (t/y Terrance)
Eyes Without a Voice
Well, OK then. Either the world is finally coming to an end or someone's about to do a remake of Citizen Kane. Jennifer Love Hewitt has recorded a cover of "Dancing With Myself," Billy Idol's perfect gem of a rocker anthem. Her weak, soulless, karaoke rendition (as heard in her made-for-Oxygen film, Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber) is saved only slightly by the foolproof mechanics of the song itself. You might as well listen to it now and get it over with. (Download courtesy Oxygen.com via Stereogum)
Pretty in Pink
In 1995, the California Legislature reversed the rule that past behavior is not admissible against a defendant, especially when the defendant is accused of domestic violence and child molestation. Therefore, the judge in the current Michael Jackson case has ruled that the jury will be allowed to hear all the past allegations about Jackson, including those concerning Macaulay Culkin and Jordie Chandler and that "grooming" business, where boys were carefully prepared for and craftily eased into the molestation. Allegedly, of course. You may already know this, but we really needed an excuse to run this adorable photo of Mac and Jacko in what appears to have been happier times. Who knows? They sure look happy. (This Is London)
Pooper Scooper
In the face of the NY Times' rather harsh review of tonight's Showdog Moms & Dads premiere, Gawker comes to the show's defense, sort of.
How Can This Show Be a Dog?
Filed under Culture : Television
While reading Virginia Heffernan’s negative assessment of Bravo’s Showdog Moms & Dads in today’s New York Times, we found ourselves wondering how any show that elicits the following from a family paper can be so bad:
“…revolting scenes of artificial insemination, testicle analysis, and (what might be the worst) the administration of the vaunted B.A.R.F. diet: Bones and Raw Food.”
“…they are the ones who have to contend with Liberace’s undescended testicles, and apply a massage technique designed to coax them down.”
“She has a son, Adam, whom she grooms as if he were a fifth pet.”
“We see slides of dog semen and close-ups of a vaginal exam.”
“… jokes about the stretch marks Brandon has from giving birth to his dog and the many, many conversations about feces…”
If you want our opinion, we think we smell a hit. Heck, it can’t be any worse than Project Greenlight.
Unconditional Love, No Matter the Species [NYT]
Showdog Moms & Dads [Bravo]
We Have a Wiener!
You guys prob'ly thought we'd forgotten all about the "As gay as _____" contest, because it's been a long while in blog time since we put it out there. Well, we've been busy. And some of that business involved trying to find a suitable prize. We still haven't. You'll remember that the WOW Report's suite of offices is under major renovation, so we're having to sift through the rubble on everyone's desks. We figure nobody wants a staple remover, colorful pushpins, or, uh, a staple remover as a prize. So, meanwhile, while we're looking, we'll announce a winner and a runner-up (shit, another prize?) and a few picks-of-the-litter. (Yes, we have Showdog fever.)
WIN
As gay as Ted Casablancas dancing to ABBA in an Agnes Moorehead (vintage found on eBay!) muu-muu at a Judy Garland convention where Lorna Luft is signing copies of the Grease 2 DVD (only $20!)
-- Bryan McDaniel
PLACE
As gay as a caftan-clad Charles Nelson Reilly serving canapes on George Cukor's patio on Sunday afternoon.
-- Joe in Los Angeles
SHOW
As gay as Clay Aiken's song-hole
-- Kyra Grant
As gay as a paisley velvet caftan
-- Jon Cortez
As gay as Michael Jackson's "other" glove
-- Robert Buchko
Neither Bryan McDaniel nor Joe in Los Angeles included their mailing addresses so that gives us some extra time.
(These Dogs Don't) Snap!
Oohlala and Pepe, stars of Showdog Moms & Dads, which airs tonight at 10PM on Bravo. Oohlala, you'll remember, just had a litter of pups (see below), of whom Pepe is not the father. Turns out Oohlala had a tawdry affair in Reno. But then, who hasn't? Be the most informed viewer tonight – meet the Showdog families, look at photos, and watch clips on tv.yahoo.com.
Rubbers for Rover
Dog Condoms supposedly will be available in pet stores and "convenience markets" (where Daddy buys his own) by the start of 2006. Now if we could only figure out where Fido will carry his wallet. (t/y Afsheen)
Kutcher und Pitt
The latest Interview mag has Brad Pitt interviewing Ashton Kutcher. Does that interest you? You probably have the issue. If not, there's no point going to the mag's website for a free read; it's a tease. Best to head over to the German site caliban.blogg.de – they have an excerpt in two languages. Scroll down, past the nude guys.
Brad Pitt interviewt Ashton Kutcher für das Interview magazine.
Ich hab mich mal an eine freie Übersetzung gewagt.
Ist natürlich nicht wunderschön, aber slang ist halt schwer zu übersetzen.
BP: Trägst Du Unterwäsche?
Ak: Tu ich das? Heute ja. Gestern hättest Du mich ohne erwischt
BP: Du bist heiss.
Ak: Naja, wie Du meinst.
BP: Wie siehts mit der Presse aus? Sie haben schon gesagt, dass Du dumm bist. Haben sie schon gesagt, dass du schwul bist?
AK: Ich weiss nicht, ob ich schon schwul geworden bin.
BP: Ach wirklich? Du wirst schon noch dahinkommen.
BP : Are you wearing underwear?
AK : Am I? Today, yes. Yesterday, you would have caught me on an off day.
BP : Dude, you're hot.
AK : Well, there you go.
BP : What about the press? They've already said you're stupid. Have they said you're gay yet?
AK : I don't know if I've gotten gay yet.
BP : Oh really? You'll get there
March 29, 2005
The Basement Tapes
On the heels, as it were, of Showdog Moms & Dads. . . No, that's wrong since, actually, Showdog Moms & Dads doesn't start until tomorrow night. So, in advance of SM&D, we dug up this delicious bone from the basement. It's a female impersonator named Halstead. Not just any female impersonator, mind you, but a Barbra Streisand impersonator. And in this clip from a 1996 WOW TV show called TV Pizza that aired on Channel 4 in England, Babs is looking to find a certain kind of dog. The female impersonator impersonates Barbra Streisand impersonating a dog. It's quite fetching. (Watch the clip)
Snap!
Connie and George Boulton's champion whippet Oohlala had a full-to-bursting batch of puppies recently and they all got named after movies. This one could just as easily be named Goldfinger as any of the others, but we can't imagine any of them being cuter. See Mommy do her tricks on Showdog Moms & Dads tomorrow at 10PM on Bravo.
Recently Dead
Yeah, we know. It's all about the Killers and the Arcade Fire and, um, Billy Idol now. But there was a time when Crowded House and Foghat were the Har Mars of their day.
Crowded House, not so crowded now. Paul Hester (left), the band's drummer, hanged himself Saturday in a park near his house in Melbourne, Australia. He'd been struggling with depression. He was 46. Wethinks we had a jacket similar to the one he has on in the photo. And that makes us depressed too.
Englishman Rod Price (right), slide-blues guitarist for boogie band Foghat, died last week in New Hampshire of a heart attack brought on by head injuries sustained while falling down a flight of stairs. He was an original member of Foghat, which formed in 1971 and included three former members of Savoy Brown. Over the course of 25 years, Foghat earned three platinum and eight gold records. Price was 57.
(LA Times)
Jackson Gets Booked
Roger Friedman has a story today on Fox411 about the Jackson trial. That's Michael Jackson for those of you who might have just come back from vacation. On Mars. Friedman goes on at length about this and that, Jackson's former publicist, key witnesses blah blah, a book proposal, underage boys blah blah blah, "prior acts," the mother of the boy who received $20 million in '93, judges, attorneys, Jackson's maid, etc, blah blah.
Then he gets to the part about Victor Gutierrez and his book Michael Jackson Was My Lover, the book concerning Jackson's 1993 accuser, Jordie Chandler, that was so hot that the Gloved One took Gutierrez to court. And, oh yes, it's also the book for which World of Wonder has optioned the movie rights.
What's really interesting is that every boy [district attorney Tom] Sneddon would like to paint as a victim of Michael Jackson comes from a book written by Victor Gutierrez.
The book, "Michael Jackson Was My Lover," was not published in the U.S. because Jackson won a libel suit against the author.
Gutierrez's writing is much more pornographic than anything the police say they found at Neverland.
The boys mentioned in the book are actor Macaulay Culkin, Britney Spears choreographer and MTV star Wade Robson, Pepsi commercial actor Jimmy Safechuck and the less well-known Jonathan Spence and Brett Barnes.
Gutierrez, it is rumored, made up a lot of his material after stitching together bits and pieces of speculation from the maid who worked for the Chandlers, the family at the center of the 1993 case.
Sneddon doesn't have a boy who is not named by Gutierrez, or one who has spent any time with Jackson.
The judge himself ruled out testimony about Safechuck and Barnes. Culkin, Robson and Spence categorically deny anything inappropriate ever happened to them at the hands of Jackson.
The most interesting witness allowed by Judge Rodney Melville could be June Chandler. She hasn't seen her son in 11 years, and he hasn't spoken to her or his younger sister in that time.
June Chandler's desperation to appear as a her son's defender and champion on the stand is understood. But she received $1.5 million from Jackson in 1994, and defense attorney Thomas Mesereau could make her feel worse than she already does in his cross-examination.
A Documentary Is Like a Delicious Anise-Flavored Italian Cookie
Seems the brouhaha over reenacted scenes in this year's Oscar-winning documentary, Mighty Times: The Children's March, which of course you saw and loved, has caused the venerated Academy to review its rules for short documentaries. We're guessing the new rule will be, um, No Reenacted Scenes. Although reenactment is currently permitted in documentaries, doc filmmakers have complained that the Mighty Times director and producer, Bobby Houston and Robert Hudson (hmm, even those names seem a bit reenacted), strained the ethical boundaries of the genre when they used antique cameras, distressed film stock, period vehicles, and a cast of 700 people and dogs to recreate scenes of a 1963 Birmingham, Alabama, civil rights protest. Audiences were fooled, purists cried, "Faux!" Houston said only four minutes of the film were reenactments, but Jon Else, director of the miniseries Eyes on the Prize, about the same subject, said he estimates at least half of the film was bogus. (NY Times)
Bruce Davis, the academy's executive director, said officials scrutinized the film after complaints began rolling in this month. "I'm sure there were sequences that were difficult to distinguish," he said.
Mr. Houston and Mr. Hudson said that was precisely their intent: that the different scenes would mesh seamlessly. "That's my quote: 'Thank you,' " Mr. Houston said. "The way we make our films is like baking a biscotti. We make a classic documentary using the archival record. We then make another layer of film. We bake the cookie twice, like a biscotti. That second layer of film fills in the gaps, and what you end up with is a seamless telling and definitive telling of unknown chapters from civil rights history."
That's genius. Meanwhile, the Academy's board of governors and the documentary executives will take a meeting in May to "tighten the rules." Incidentally, Houston and Hudson's production company is called Tell the Truth Pictures.
Photo: Hudson (left) and Houston (Getty Images)
That Toddling Town
OK, yesterday we ran this story about how the people at Chicagoist had an Inside Deep Throat-related contest (to make up best- and worst-ever porno movie titles) with promotional Inside Deep Throat T-shirts and mousepads and such as prizes and we knew nothing about it. Really, not a problem. In fact, once we discovered there'd been a contest, we found the whole thing funny. Especially the Queer and Pleasant Stranger entry. But Scott Smith from Chicagoist felt compelled to email us today.
Saw your post on our contest. Thanks for the track back...
Just to clarify, we were contacted by a Moye Rhea Ishimoto at World of Wonder who wanted to send us some promotional items from the movie. We figured it'd be wrong to keep 'em all for ourselves (especially since it'd be a lousy way to promote the movie), hence the contest.
So I guess while someone at WOW knew they sent us stuff, we forgot to mention the contest. Some of the others that didn't make the final cut but were equally funny:
rock around the cock
queefer madness
million dollar boobie
adventures of robin's wood
remember the tight ones
attila the hung
It was a lot of fun for us, too. We all wore IDT buttons at our Happy Hour as you can see in the pictures.
Oh and we enjoyed the movie too.
Then, overnight, someone posted a comment on the WOW story and things looked to turn ugly for Chicagoist. Moye got an email from Scott.
As you can see, a guy named Todd has commented on the site and tried to make it sound like we stole the stuff somehow and weren't giving out prizes to winners.
It's a loooong story as to why this guy is reacting this way and I'm sorry to bring you into the drama but suffice it to say he and one of our writers had a falling out a while back and he's still angry, I guess. Also, he entered the contest and didn't win (though I didn't know about the falling out until after the contest). The night of the Happy Hour this person took the bags with the IDT swag (unbeknownst to us) though we got them back from him on Monday. We've since made arrangements to try and get the prizes to the winners (part of the other reason we wanted people to be present to win is because we're all volunteers and don't really have the budget to pay for postage for shipping).
Anyway, sorry for the long-winded e-mail but I wanted to explain the situation to you since you were so great in involving us with IDT and WOW. We hope this whole experience (and our crazy web stalker) doesn't put you off from dealing with us in the future.
[Ed. replies: Don't worry about anything on this end. We'll be happy to deal with you anytime, anywhere. Well, except Chicago.]
Love Does Lovelace
It's been reported that the cleaned-up rock mess Courtney Love will be portraying Linda Lovelace in a proposed biopic of the porn star's life, to be written by Merritt Johnson. News stories about this plan all say that Love "agreed" to appear in the film. More likely is that she prayed to God! they would consider her. Also, the stories say that Lovelace wasn't paid for her work in Deep Throat. Not true. Though it wasn't much, she got something. (KGET.com)
(And btw, doesn't that KGET newsteam look exactly like every other newsteam in America? How do they do that?)
This story also on Inside Deep Throat.
Randy's TiVo Tips
Fat Is Fat, Farrah Is Not
Fat Actress (Showtime) - I know I've gone back and forth on this one, but it's official, Fat Actress is my favorite show on TV. No doubt. The Leah Remini episode is a total hoot! FAT ACTRESS is PHAT!
Chasing Farrah (TV Land) - Do yourself a favor and watch the episode with Ryan O'Neal. Oh, before you do that, make sure to read Tatum O'Neal's A Paper Life; it really sets it up nicely. I hate that I'm even watching this show – but I find myself rewinding and replaying endlessly! Count the number of times that Farrah plays with her hair, you will give up within 10 minutes. Watch Ryan humiliate Farrah ("Have you gained weight?"). Watch Farrah get drunk and bit-by-bit reveal that she and Anna Nicole are actually more alike than she would ever want to believe. Watch Farrah chastise the tabloids then snap into business mode as she proudly reports that the cover announcing her and Ryan's split was the second-highest-selling issue ever. Watch the psychologically abused makeup artist on her hands and knees scrubbing the beige carpet. Yes, watch closely and you will see how damaging celebrity can be.
It's strange, because both Farrah and Kirstie's shows are good bedfellows. They offer great points of comparison in the age of celebrity. Both stars are eager for us to acknowledge that they don't take themselves too seriously, and they are up for mocking their celebrity. They are both worth watching - one for her failings and the other for her success. Both shows illicit laugher: one hearty and the other bittersweet. I'm convinced that in years to come they will both be seen as important texts to understanding the celebrity-obsessed culture we are currently living in, or barely surviving!
– Randy Barbato
Snap!
Jiggle all the way. At left, California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger back when he made movies; at right, just the other day vacationing in Hawaii (This Is London via Drudge)
March 28, 2005
Sitings
• This poor kid never had a chance. From diapers to kaftans. First, the song is, like, the only gay anthem. Second, he sings and dances like a girl, probably thanks to his mother the choreographer, manager, and torturer. Watch him. (t/y Todd)
Chicago ist What?
Unbeknownst to World of Wonder, Imagine Entertainment, Universal, the WOW Report, Inside Deep Throat (the blog and the movie), a certain Chicago website called Chicagoist (windy sister of Gothamist, it would seem) featured an Inside Deep Throat contest inviting visitors to the site to come up with the best and worst titles for a porn film and have a chance at winning a bunch of IDT swag (T-shirt, mousepad, poster) that was sent to them by the kind and generous distributors of the film. Talk about re-gifting.
Turns out, the results were hilarious. We're still laughing at My Big Fat Genital Herpes and A Queer and Pleasant Stranger. Go ahead, laugh all you like.
If you think this post is more suited to the Inside Deep Throat blog, well, it's there too. (Go there)
Two Things
Two things that are nice to know about royalty:
1) The British royal family, except for formal occasions, do not use limos; in fact, they drive themselves in surprisingly modest vehicles. The queen often tools around blighty behind the wheel of her Range Rover. Her husband, Phil, prefers to pass incognito along the Kings Road driving a London taxi (perhaps a clever pickup ploy in his younger days). Charles has a few Astin Martins, but the royal boys drive a Volkswagen Golf and an Audi when they shop the High Street. Diana, of course, has had quite enough of cars, thank you. (via Parade magazine)
2) Gwyneth Paltrow is such Hollywood royalty now that her framed photo hangs alongside those of Sidney Poitier, John Wayne, and Gary Cooper – at the McDonald's on Hollywood Boulevard.
For the Bennifer of Mr Mike
This who-knows-how-old photo is just an excuse to get you to Popmuse to read a kinky story related there about Ben and J Lo in happier days that we want no part of.
Poo Poo Patter
Today's LA Times has gone to the dogs – for a story. Dogs are always interesting. In Los Angeles, like in many a big city, dogs are not man's best friend but man's surrogate child. Or so the pampered-pet article would have it. Along with the usual, Beverly Hills-style pet pampering – manicures and pedicures, aromatherapy and psychotherapy, shampoo and set, designer duds, and doghouses with guest rooms and heated pools – seems there's a kennel in LA where a "bed buddy" will sleep with your dog in a four-poster bed for $70 a night. The bed buddy is of the human kind of course.
Television has picked up on the chance to get a heavy share of this dog-owner demographic. There is the National Geographic Channel's The Dog Whisperer, a stern how-to tutorial; Animal Planet's Who Gets the Dog? that has people vying for a pooch's love, a la The Bachelor; and of course our favorite, Showdog Moms & Dads.
A spinoff of the hit "Showbiz Moms & Dads" (which documented the horrors of stage mothers), ["Showdog Moms & Dads"], premiering Wednesday, follows couples who take their purebreds on the dog show circuit — some spending up to $30,000 a year making their dogs (literally) jump through hoops while trying to prove to the world (or, at least, mercurial dog show judges) that their beloved babies are, in fact, "best in show."
The beleaguered pooches are hauled on airplanes, dressed in ballerina outfits, and put on constant display. "I want him to be the center of attention," says one owner of his new terrier puppy, purchased because his champion lineage. He then proceeds to name the puppy Liberace, dress him in a cape and take him to have his teeth whitened. (Full story, sub req)
Pine Soul, etc
You might have seen this site dedicated to found shopping lists. Hundreds and hundreds of them. If not, here is grocerylists.org. You're bound to find yours. We did. And we don't mind, because we love collections of found things, be they of snapshots, postcards, precious metals, old girlfriends, whatever.
See What's on the Slab
Our persistent photoshopaholic, Dani Darko, has got the jump on those Hollywood execs who are always remaking movies that have no cause to be remade by coming up with the idea to remake The Rocky Horror Picture Show. She's cast it, photoshopped it, and, hey, she makes it seem like it just might work.
> Johnny Depp as Frank N Furter > Vin Diesel as Rocky
>Tobey Maguire, Chloe Sevigny as Brad & Janet >Michael Caine as the criminologist
>Helena Bonham Carter as Magenta > Katie Holmes as Columbia
>Jack Nicholson as Dr Scott >Kevin James as Eddie
>Jude Law as Riff Raff
Different Strokes
Just in time for Wednesday's premiere of Showdog Moms & Dads, we link you to Pornstar Dogs & Cats. Actually, they're calling it Pornstar Pets, a delightful DVD showing your favorite X-rated celebrities romping with animals. We know what you're thinking, but no. Not that. It's about G-rated frolicking. Nothing nasty going on. It's Fluffy, for crying out loud. "Marvel as Ron Jeremy feeds his pet Turtle called Cherry," enthuses the ad copy. "Swoon as Taylor Wane fires-up some spicy-shrimp for Buddy, the tempestuous Terrier. Flail as Teri Weigel soaps her snakes, bathes her birds, and wrangles an outrageous army of well-groomed Shelties." Check out the trailer here.
Mimi Murmers
I heard a rumor that the cover of Mariah Carey's new album was actually shot for less than $5K. Well sort of. Apparently, there was a previous photo shoot for the cover and the record label spent a fortune on it, hiring one of the best photographers money can buy! But after reviewing the results, they decided to sack the photos. Since they had blown the budget, they had to lure another photographer, but all they had was money for his expenses, i.e. airbrushing! Not surprisingly, the photographer they lured was the same guy who shot Beyonce's last LP. Hello.
– Randy Barbato
Recently Dead
The handsome actor who starred in the 1962 film, The Brain That Wouldn't Die, the tender screamer of a mad doctor searching for a body he can attach to his fiancee's fully decapitated, still-living head, died two weeks ago in LA of heart failure. He was 83. Jason Evers, a native New Yorker sometimes known as Herb Evers, began his eclectic career two years before Brain with a role on TV's Wrangler and the movie Pretty Boy Floyd. Later he played a university professor on the series Channing and then costarred with Walter Brennan on The Guns of Will Sonnet, both ABC. His last movie was Basket Case 2, in 1990. (LA Times)
Vince Bonavoglia, reviewing a new DVD release of Brain on dvdmaniacs in 2000, said the film "is a lot like the music of the Ramones: fast-paced, roughhewn, primal, and irreverent, rapt with an intense fascination for the biologically beleaguered members of society (read freaks), and brimming with glorious kitsch."
Dogged Approval
In the April 1 issue with the pop culture and Star Wars quizzes, Entertainment Weekly recommends watching Showdog Moms & Dads on Wednesday. Alynda Wheat in the "What to Watch" section says:
You haven't lived till you've seen a German shepherd pleasured by an artificial lady-part. This followup to cult hit Showbiz Moms & Dads (Duncan Nutter, where are you?) does Best in Show one better, turning the cameras on real pooch pamperers. The lineup includes pushy mom Moira and her show-dog kid, Adam; couple Brandon and Ryan, whose dogs sport feather boas; and Lourdes, owner of money-shot Max. The, uh, climax is supposed to be a big dog show, but sometimes the journey's better than the destination. B+
It's in one of the big boxes and there's a picture of Lourdes and Max.
