July 29, 2005
Sitings
• An extremely entertaining music video from Mates of State. Who? Exactly. Have fun. (t/y Tim M)
• Depressing Classic Rock Midi Songs. A whole bunch of classic rock done up MIDI style, guaranteed to annoy and depress your office mates when turned up loud. (Courtesy the Magical World of Penis Unicorns, courtesy boingboing)
• SciFi Channel's transformer ad. Autotransgenderism without messy surgery. (chilloutzone)
Fodor Goes Frodo
Relive the magic and whimsy of The Lord of the Rings by spending the night or two in the Shire. Middle-earth now comes packaged at the twee Hobbit Motel in rustic Woodlyn Park, New Zealand, home also of the Plane Motel and the Train Motel. They speak a kind of English there. (Hotel Chatter via boingboing)
Snap! Cap
Hmmm, I wonder what accessories would draw attention away from the tits on my back. (Charly)
Dammit, Sue! I can't tell if you're coming or going! (Wootini)
Honey, did you see where I put my tits? I can't seem to find them. (Suzy)
I bet a lot of guys wanna slow dance with her though. (Zac!)
Celebrities at Large
I know it's kind of late to be sharing a Sundance story but this one is too good to pass up and, since the movie opens today in Los Angeles, it's somewhat appropriate.
One night at Sundance, I found myself in a cab with Kieran O’Brien, one of the stars of Michael Winterbottom’s 9 Songs. He was desperately looking to “party" and we ended up at MW’s condo (he had already left town). We went there as guests of the composers of a film I was associated with. We proceeded to have cocktails. Kieran was quite impressed that I shared his love of Jagermeister. Conversations were had, etc, etc…. At one point I was sitting on a trunk used as a coffee table. KO came up, sat between my legs. Rested his head in my lap and put his arms on my legs. He also had a strange habit of showing up every time I lit a cigarette; he'd come up and put his arm around me and steal the cigarette.
A Program Note
Oops, we forgot to tell you yesterday that the DNA test on the hair clump from that could-be Bigfoot sighting in the Yukon came back negative. Or positive, depending on your bent. It was, in fact, a North American bison. Sorry.
Space Savor
Seems the college kids had it right all this time. That Ramen is cheap and nutritious. Now something called Space Ram will be stowed on board space shuttles, which are almost as cramped and kitchenless as dorm rooms. The eat-with-a-fork-in-zero-gravity space noodles have been in development since 2001 by Nissin Food Products in conjunction with the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency from an idea by Nissin founder Momofuku Ando. Unveiled by the firm hours after Japanese astronaut Soichi Noguchi and his fellow spacemen blasted off in the Discovery shuttle Wednesday, the product comes in four flavors: soy sauce, miso, curry, and pork broth. You think Top Ramen is easy to prepare?
With normal noodles, the soup and the noodles float away in zero gravity. To solve the problem, a block of noodles is put in a clear pack with dried flavoring and soup, and water with a temperature of 70 degrees Celsius, the limit for use in the shuttle, is added. The noodles are combined with the soup, which has a thick consistency, enabling them to be eaten with chopsticks or a fork.
(msn news / photo: Ando and the Space Ram)
This Is What They Do When They Come for You
Is an electronic ankle bracelet the new grounded? While playing video games, a 10-year-old boy in an Ohio town was suddenly hog-tied with a telephone cord and threatened with weapons by the teenagers who lived next-door. The teens were pretty lame in the hog-tying department because the boy managed to escape. Now the older boys are charged with kidnapping and aggravated menacing. Two are in jail and one is under house arrest and must wear an electronic ankle bracelet. (NewsNet5)
They Waltzed Right In
This should be an option at more events. The Leopold Museum in Vienna allowed free admission to anyone who showed up nude to see "The Naked Truth," an exhibition of early-1900s erotic art. The heat wave was partially responsible, but we think it was all about kinky curators. "We find a naked body every bit as beautiful as a clothed one," said the museum's cofounder, Elisabeth Leopold. "If they came only out of lust, we have to accept that. We stand for the truth." Hmm, looks like whatever Wolfgang's looking at has been censored from the photo. (Washington Post via Drudge)
Idol Probe
We thought it was over but it's back. Fox has hired an independent counsel to look into that alleged affair American Idol judge Paula Abdul had with contestant Corey Clark during the show's second season. Fox entertainment president Peter Liquori is not saying whether Abdul will be fired if the probe proves Clark was right when he accused Abdul of helping him with his homework, so to speak, back at her place. In fact, it looks as if the tiny judge has been prematurely found innocent by the network, which is using her on the panel of its upcoming talent contest, So You Think You Can Dance. While the probe continues, Abdul may be excused from the early American Idol eliminations, which begin in August. (My Way)
The Wonka Look
The unlikely fashion influence of the year has to be Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
1) Take American Vogue editor Anna Wintour. Does her angular bob look familiar? Try imagining her with a hat.
2) This month's Autumn/Winter collection at Prada (here and here). They pretty much stole those sweaters right from penniless Charlie Bucket's hanger.
There must be more. Any suggestions?
– Tim Hancock
July 28, 2005
Snap! Cap
"And that's my story. Well, I guess I'll return now and leave you two to whatever land-based things you were doing. But if you happen to run into Jane Goodall, tell her I've got three words for her: Fuckin' SHARKS, bitch!" (Great Pumpkin)
Celebrities at Large
The Fairfax district has been a hotbed of celebrity activity the past couple of days. First: I'm driving down Melrose Sunday morning around eight-thirty, and I spy a hott-looking girl gabbing on a cell phone and heading towards the flea market/bootleg purse bazaar that takes over the Fairfax High School parking lot every weekend. On further inspection, I realize I'm staring at Jennifer Love Hewitt. She thought she was going incognito in a long-sleeved green T-shirt and jeans, but the gi-normous Jackie O glasses and trio of decidedly less-hott assistant-types trailing her gave it all away. That and the perfect body. Can't wait to see her in Garfield 2 next summer.
More...Randy's TV Tips
Here are tonight's secret words on BEING BOBBY BROWN. Think Pee Wee's Playhouse and SCREAM when you hear them:
• Emp (not empty, empt)
• Sop it up
• Gorgonzaga
• The Bloating!
Booty and the Greek
Paris Hilton may have been in a photo, but that last item we posted was about Tara Reid. God, we can't remember the last time we had Paris on the blog. Well, now will be the last time the next time we mention her. Because the obscenely popular Hilton-Salomon sex tape (remember when 1 Night in Paris was all the talk?) has finally hit Greece, where Hilton's unfortunate fiance, Paris Latsis, is from. Star magazine reports that a Greek tabloid called Very Sorry (love that) has a splashy spread with lots of stills from the tape – 22 of them. Latsis' mother, Mariana Kourkoulos (billionaire, socialite, concerned parent), who, like the rest of the Latsis-Kourkoulos family, knew nothing of Hilton's recent past, freaked when she saw the spread and realized what sort of person her son wanted to bring into the fold. In a frantic call to her son, she implored him never to marry her. "Get rid of her now!" she raged. (More at Star)
Celebrities at Large
Angelina has little Maddox out shopping wearing a mohawk and more eyeliner than Tammy Faye. Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney are possibly breaking up after being married slightly longer than Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine were. And Tara Reid? Just look at her. (Photos courtesy Jaggle.nl)
But How Would It Feel About BIGWANG?
Salt Lake City resident Elizabeth Solomon has a license plate that reads GAYSROK, which can be deciphered as "gays are OK" or "gays rock." The plate on her other car spells out GAYRYTS. You'd think the conservative and religious state of Utah would find pro-gay signage of any kind unsuitable. But Jane Phan, a judge with the Utah State Tax Commission, didn't. (msnbc)
"The narrow issue before us is whether a reasonable person would believe the terms ‘gays are OK’ and ‘gay rights’ are, themselves, offensive to good taste and decency. It is the conclusion of the commission that a reasonable person would not,” Phan wrote.
Snap! Back
When we posted this photo of hyenas back in June, we knew very little about it. Except that it was amazing and not the least bit photoshopped. Now, boingboing has another photo from the series, taken by Pieter Hugo in Nigeria, and some more information on the circumstance.
Not Good Writing
The winners of the San Jose State University Fiction Contest are in. In any other writing contest, these guys would be losers. But this one celebrates awkward, ungainly construction and mixed metaphors. Inspiration for the competition comes from the 1830 novel Paul Clifford, whose opening sentence famously announces, "It was a dark and stormy night." The $250 prize went to writer Dan McKay, who compared a woman's "ample breasts" to carburetors in a vintage Triumph Spitfire. But our favorite passage, winner of the Grand Panjandurm's Award, comes from pet supply store manager Ken Aclin:
India, that hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia, presented itself to Tex as he landed in Delhi (or was it Bombay?), as if it mattered because Tex finally had an idea to make his mark and fortune and that idea was a chain of steak houses to serve the millions and he wondered, as he deplaned down the steep, shiny, steel steps, why no one had thought of it before.
(Dateline Alabama via Sploid)
Scaredy Cats
First of all, we went all defiant and set up the "We're Not Afraid" website, a sterling effort by the people to show attackers not to mess with us, demonstrated through the medium of pain-stakingly photoshopped pictures. Now the British have stopped putting up that front so unsuited to us, and instead take photos like this for "I Am Fucking Terrified." Now you see us as we really are, Mr Terrorist.
– Tim Hancock
A Wrist Record
Usher likes to be watched so it's no surprise he's had a watch made in his image. For $1 million. Usher is arguably one of the handsomest men in the music biz, but the watch has to be the world's ugliest. Made by Rocawear's Damon Dash and featuring two sets of hands and 1,106 diamonds, it's an insult to bling. Perhaps only because it's a timepiece, it's currently on display at London's Natural History Museum. (via The Superficial)
Of Interest
The world's most human-looking humanoid has been developed by a Japanese scientist and recently unveiled, though we fear it's been working undetected in the US recording industry for more than a year. In Japan, they call the android Repliee Q1. Details just out reveal she has flexible silicone skin, 31 actuators in her upper body powered by an air compressor, and sensors programmed to allow her to turn and react in a human-like manner. She can flutter her eyelids and even appear to breathe. Hooboy, does she have a sister?
"I have developed many robots before," Repliee Q1's designer, Professor Ishiguru, told the BBC News website, "but I soon realised the importance of its appearance. A human-like appearance gives a robot a strong feeling of presence.... More importantly, we have found that people forget she is an android while interacting with her. Consciously, it is easy to see that she is an android, but unconsciously, we react to the android as if she were a woman."
New Po-Face of Revlon?
It seems that Tony Blair is as concerned about his appearance as the rest of us Brits are... about his appearance. A Minister revealed that his "expenditure on cosmetics for media appearances" had risen from £43.80 in 1999 to £340.02 in 2000. Making that a shocking total of around £2,000 he's spent on make-up since 1999. Shocking 'cause I don't know about you but that's what I spend in a week!
Our exclusive images of Blair in his fashionable youth clearly show that his early experimenting has paid off and he now appreciates the subtleties of the "less is more" approach, opting for more natural/textured tones. But if you ask around I'm sure most taxpayers wouldn't mind paying a bit more to cover a little cosmetic surgery while he's at it, especially in the dental department.
– Laura Price
Playing Doctor
Is it just us or is Britain's favourite doctor getting cuter and trendier by the season. David Tennant takes the helm of the tardis in the new Doctor Who series next year. And with the bisexual Captain Jack character also coming back for a few episodes, it's sure to be hot tele. And if you can't wait, there's always the Christmas special to help you get through the winter.
– Johnni Javier
July 27, 2005
The Basement Tapes
On March 22, 2002, Matthew Lawrence, Joey's little brother, came into the World of Wonder office and auditioned for the part of Keoki in Party Monster. The producers eventually decided to go in another direction, as they say, and gave the part to Wilmer Valderama. But here's Matthew's screentest in its entirety. Enjoy.
In-a-Podda-Da-Vida, Baby
Are you comfortable? Are you strapped in, with your arms and hands safely secured inside the ride? Good. Now, close your eyes as the cast of characters (Randy, Fenton, Jim, Tom, James, and Moye) appear and assemble around the table and commence a discourse on a myriad of topics, including (deep breath) the Ivana Trump hotel in Vegas, QVC, men's ruffles on sale at Barneys, Jessica Simpson in the Private Benjamin remake, Eminem's "Tabloid Shit," Sienna Miller and Jude Law, The Island, minimalist interiors in movies, Mamie Van Doren the other day, Don Johnson at Blowfish, Starbucks' hit-and-miss drinks, Pauly Shore's new TV show, Rob Schneider, Matthew Lawrence auditioning for the part of Keoki in Party Monster, Battleship Gallactica, sound effects on Being Bobby Brown, and crack vacations.
• Now WOW has an Enhanced Podcast for users of iTunes 4.9. It includes chapters, images, and links. Download it here.
• For those of you who don't use iTunes or an iPod, a standard mp3 file is also available. Download here.
• Remember you can always subscribe to all our podcasts in iTunes here.
Snap!
Heath Ledger makes a dash for it in a scene from Brokeback Mountain, Ang Lee's gay-cowboy movie costarring Jake Gyllenhaal. We assume this scene will not make the final cut, since the film's ho-mo-sex-u-ality has been dialed way down. Click on the image to see the NSFW version.
Variety Fair
Daily Variety, as everyone knows, is the entertainment industry's vanity publication, where studios, celebrities, agents, etc, congratulate and fellate one another in full- and quarter-page ads in order to stay in whatever game is going. Or in ads like this one, which is just perplexing and which Randy tore out today in bewilderment. "I mean, what is this?" he said, handing us the shred. It is a bit misleading. When we looked up Ms Gutman on her website, we discovered she's an actress, model, singer, and songwriter who's fluent in Hebrew and Yiddish. And, boys, she has a sister.
Distress Signals
OJ Simpson is in the news again and not in a good way again. He's been stealing DirecTV signals with two "bootloaders" at his home. Of course, Simpson denies it, claiming he was not living in the house at the time, though DirecTV says "the evidence is overwhelming." Sound familiar? And a judge has ordered Simpson to pay $25,000 to the satellite service. Like that'll happen. (All Headline News)
Snap!
This is a much more apt reminder to avoid sleeping with strangers and to wear a condom when you do. (Coloribus)
Hot Legs
Ugh, these are freaking us out! A French ad campaign for an AIDS group intends to warn a forgetful public about the danger(s) of casual sex. We're not quite sure we get the STD metaphor (bug, like the flu?) but we'll certainly try to avoid sleeping with a scorpion or a spider (though we've unwittingly done both). Meanwhile, are both of these victims women? We're at a point in our lives now where we can't tell the sexes apart. (AdRants)
!#&@% Camp
ITV in the UK is sending a bunch of teens with Tourette's Syndrome to summer camp for a new reality series. Teenage Tourette's Camp will watch five English kids get fleas to go with their tics as they spend the summer cursing excessively, twitching, and being compulsive in a Chicago camp. And we're wondering how that camp will be any different from any other teenage summer camp. (Digital Spy)
And We've Lost Your Stapler
Claire Otway, in WOW's London office, sent these pics of ways to welcome colleagues back from their vacations. Fellow workers who worship Warhol will love the Factory cubicle makeover, above. These others are nice, too, and the materials are relatively cheap – Post-Its and newspapers. Imagine their surprise.
Madonna Makes a Movie – About Madonna
She's "been burning the midnight oil" finishing the documentary about her Reinvention tour. In a letter to her fans, Madonna writes that the task has been consuming most of her time since October. "Being a perfectionist," she says, "I can't stop making last minute changes and revisions! A film is such a different process than an album or a tour and I've learned so much. It has been exciting reliving the tour again and again....and I look forward to sharing the finished product with all of you."
If this clip is any indication, the finished product will be no Truth or Dare. The clip has to be 30 of the most uninteresting seconds ever released by a major star. Thank God most of it is black. You can see it at Popmuse. Or at New York City Boys. Or neither.
That midnight oil she's burning, by the way. Is it oil that was meant to last only until the end of the year, but is miraculously still burning?
With the Breast Intentions
Airport screeners have their orders. Passengers have their dignity. Actress Patti Lupone once complained that she received a full breast exam at the Fort Lauderdale airport. Now a 62-year-old Wisconsin woman has been fined $100,000 and may be sentenced to a year in federal prison for assaulting a female screener she thought patted-down her breasts too thoroughly after her hairpins set off the metal detector. In court, the screener testified that the woman said, "How would you like it if I did that to you?" Then she slammed the screener against the wall and grabbed her breasts and squeezed them. In her defense, the passenger said, "I was mortified that I had done that. I was reacting to what felt like an absolute invasion of my body." And we complain when we have to take our shoes off? (AP via Drudge)
July 26, 2005
CSI: Creature Scene Investigation
The latest sighting of sasquatch, affectionately known as Bigfoot, occurred one night early this month in the Yukon, when residents of Teslin heard crackling branches and saw a large human-like figure run by a house, leaving large footprints and tufts of hair. This time, the hair will be retrieved and run through DNA testing to determine if the creature is a primate or not. The hairy upright has been a legend in the mountains of western Canada and the US since before Europeans settled the area. University of Alberta wildlife geneticist, David Coltman, who will perform the test, said that scientists have catalogued the DNA of most of the large animals living in the Yukon, like bears and bison, and he will compare Bigfoot's DNA against those. "If sasquatch is indeed a primate," he said, "then we would expect the sample to be closer to humans or chimpanzees or gorillas." Test results will be released Thursday. (Yahoo)
The Basement Tapes
In 2001, there was a rash of celebrity divorces, including that of Tom and Nicole. World of Wonder, ever its thumb pressed lightly on the pulse of pop culture, made a one-hour special on the topic for Channel 4 in the UK, called Divorce: Hollywood Style, narrated by Jane Wells. Now that Tom has engaged Katie to be his future ex wife, we thought it fitting to dust off that special and extract a clip for you. (Watch it here)
Shelf Life: Gayku
From Joel Derfner's book, Gay Haiku, we've selected a few samples (thanks, Michaline):
See the eight-year-old
Knitting mittens on the bus.
Does his mother know?
Forty-seven times
You said, "Give me that pussy."
I have no pussy.
Yes, this feels quite good.
Still, could you pick up the pace?
Golden Girls is on.
Gulp!
Wayne Hill, artist, had an ordinary-looking 2-liter bottle filled with melted ice from the Antarctic on display at the Ways with Words festival at Dartington Hall in south Devon. Titled Weapon of Mass Destruction, it was labeled and on a pedestal, and meant to draw attention to global warming. "It was getting around and gaining a small reputation for itself," said Hill, who created the work after a friend brought back some melted ice from Antarctica. The bottle of water was valued at £42,500, a number Hill calculated from the damage worldwide of the entire ice sheet melting (between £6 trillion and £9 trillion) and the relative amount of damage from two liters of water. The concept of the piece, said Hill, was "to take something as dangerous as that and to bring it immediately into somebody's presence." Well, global warming makes people thirsty so somebody in its presence drank it. (BBC News)
The St. James Version
Today I received a birthday card from Michael Alig. This is shocking for many reasons. For one thing, in the 20 years I have known him, this is the first time he has ever acknowledged my birthday. He's hosted birthday parties for me, and never said "happy birthday." With Michael, you're lucky to get a "hello, how are you." Fascinating guy, but let's face it: He's a little self-absorbed (says I). So this is big. No, really. I'm wondering if nine years in the big house has changed him. Will we see a new Michael Alig next April? A kinder, gentler Michael? Or will he be peeing on your pantleg and pouring vomit in your Red Bull at his welcome-home party?
– James St. James
Wanna Get Your Ticket Punched?
Beginning August 13, inside this little New York theater with its nondescript exterior, you can see sex with Jake Gyllenhaal. Actually, that's Sex with Jake Gyllenhaal, a new comedy by Anthony Giunta, part of the 2005 New York International Fringe Festival. Playbill says it's a play about how the search for love can result in a "bad train trip with missed connections and delayed departures." Yeah, normally. But not if you're having sex with Jake Gyllenhaal. We have a Pullman reserved when he's ready. (via Towleroad)
Snap!
WOW Report reader Alan Light would like us to be aware of diver Alexandre Despatie, currently competing at the World Aquatics Championships in Montreal. (Learn more)
One Cent Post
Did you know that if you hold your cursor over the pictures on Sploid.com, captions appear? It's true. It's like Easter eggs.
Bin There
Back in 2002, it's been revealed, Osama bin Laden had this idea that he'd buy up lots and lots of cocaine, cut it with poison, then sell it to the US. That way, he'd be able to kill thousands of American cokeheads. We're thinking the movie business would have been hit the hardest. But here's the hilarious part, the part that makes you go "Duh." Do people still go "Duh," now that Friends is so over? Because they still go "Eww." Anyway, when approached by bin Laden, the Colombian drug lords wanted no part of the plan. Bad for business, they said, and not safe for their own recreational use. (Drudge)
Spammer Deleted
Oh, how we wish we coulda been there. Vardan Kushnir, hated in Russia by anyone who had an email address, was brutally murdered in his Moscow apartment Monday. He suffered multiple blows to the head. It was a happy day in Russia. The 35-year-old Kushnir, head of several centers for learning English, was the country's biggest spam offender. He sent spam repeatedly to every Russian citizen who had an email account. Several counterattacks by the public proved futile. He had to die. It was justifiable homicide. (mosnews, vnunet)
KPAY
We always knew something was wrong. We knew J Lo couldn't sing much better than the average American Idol contestant, yet her songs kept climbing the charts. Same with Jessica Simpson. Turns out Sony and Epic were spending the big bucks to get radio deejays to put their "talent" in heavy rotation. It's called payola and every few decades it rears its ugly head. Roger Friedman on Fox 411 has the story on how Lopez, Simpson, Good Charlotte, and others kept getting in your face. And he's got the memos to prove it.
More memos: "We ordered a laptop for Donnie Michaels at WFLY in Albany. He has since moved to WHYI in Miami. We need to change the shipping address." One Sony memo from 2002: "Can you work with Donnie to see what kind of digital camera he wants us to order?"
My God
Why take two messiahs into your place of worship when you can have just one? And one who lives in a place reminiscent of Neverland? My new favourite cult is located in the "Sky Kingdom," Malaysia, and was created by Ayah Pin, who can usually be found beneath the huge concrete umbrella that stands in the centre of his compound. Pin tells his small band of followers that he is an incarnation of every known God, including Jesus, Buddah, Shiva, and Muhammad. "When I was 10 years old, I found myself to be dead for 40 days and up in the sky," he explains, sipping a coffee and smoking a menthol cigarette. "Since then, it's a long story and the details don't matter, but I've been dead 17 times and each time have come back to save the lives of all people, of any religion."
But now they're under attack. Malaysia doesn't really like this sort of thing, and has started to try and take the wonderland by force. "I saw them coming; they did not see me. Can I be faulted for this?" Pin says knowingly.
– Tim Hancock
July 25, 2005
In Like Flint
This tool was found deep in the Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm in the Swabian Jura. And we're pretty sure that's not the only place it was found, 28,000 years ago when it was new, if you know what we mean. Its appearance leads scientists to believe that, although objects simulating male genitals were unusual back then, it may have been used as a sex aid by its makers. You think? Jeez, people use things as sex aids that look a lot less like a penis than this. But a professor from the department of Early Prehistory and Quaternary Ecology at Tubingen University is covering his ass by saying it could have been used for knapping flints. Which makes a good euphemism. (BBC News)
Snap! Cap
"Take only memories - leave only footprints." Tra la la, kittens, la la la, moonbeams, la la la, puppies, tra la, recyling, la la la save the planet, etc. Man, is this chick a horse-face. (Anonymous)
Recently Dead
The prophetically named Eugene Record, founder of Chicago R&B group the Chi-Lites, died Friday of cancer. He was 64. In 1959, Record formed a singing group called the Chanteurs with Robert "Squirrel" Lester and Clarence Johnson; later, when Creadel Jones and Marshall Thompson joined up, the group became the Hi-Lites, then evolved into the Chi-Lites in 1964. A mixture of Motown and doo-wop, the Chi-Lites created their own distinctive harmony and in 1972 had a #1 hit with "Oh Girl," which Record wrote. He wrote or cowrote all of the songs the group had in the top-20 R&B charts from '69 to '74. In 2003, Record shared a Grammy with Beyoncé for "Crazy in Love," which was partly based on Record's "Are You My Woman? (Tell Me So)." (Rolling Stone)