British Intelligence

Go back to your lives!!!

Dear American friends,

Regular readers of British Intelligence (and I have recently learned that this group has grown beyond my immediate family) will know that WOW London takes great delight in pointing out examples of odd behaviour that only Americans can possibly be guilty of.

And indeed, we were so looking forward to adding the antics of Michael Jackson’s screaming fans in Santa Maria to the list.

Now, I happen to like Michael Jackson. He seems a decent, well-meaning sort of chap, and his music is enjoyable. It’s not beyond the realms of possibility that he is the victim of gold diggers and, if this is the case, you simply have to feel sorry for him. Of course, he may also be as guilty as sin, in which case, he deserves everything that’s coming. I digress – the point is this: I’m happy to sit here and type that he has my support, at least in so far as he’s innocent until proven guilty.

What has got to me are these nutters that have left their jobs to camp outside the courtroom. What on earth are they thinking?! I wouldn’t do that for a close relative, let alone some pop star. People – send a letter of support or something, but haven’t you got your own lives to lead?

So, I was reading up on the subject, ready to write some haughty Brit-speak about how stupid Americans can be, when I made the startling discovery that some of these wierdos are BRITISH!!! I need an explanation. Something doesn’t compute. I feel… defiled in some way, by this violation of Britishness. Someone must have an answer?

– Brit Brit