Sitings

• Harlan McCraney, the svengali behind Bush's public speaking. (t/y Jessica)
• Playstation 2 spot: When Pornstars Attack. (t/y Eduardo)

The Little Mermaid

One-year-old Milagros Cerron celebrates her birthday in a Lima, Peru, public hospital. She was born with a congenital defect known as sirenomelia, or "mermaid syndrome." There are only three known cases of children with the affliction alive today. (Daryl Hanna wore prosthetics in Splash.) In two months, doctors will begin a series of operations to separate her legs, which are fused down to the heels. Meanwhile, her bizarre first-birthday party went off without a hitch.

Wearing a blue dress with white stars and a princess' crown, Milagros Cerron giggled and bounced in her doctor's arms. A glittery show girl sang a techno-tinged version of "Happy Birthday," accompanied by a keyboard player and a dancing actor in a Winnie-the-Pooh costume.

(Yahoo News)

The St. James Version: Friday Extra

I was a mess last night. WHOO-HOO. I'm still a bit vomit-y, and it's almost five. It's a fact: Whenever I go out without any makeup, I go to straight to hell. PLOP and SIZZLE. I went with my newly single friend Eva Posey (the former Mrs Thorn) to the Joel Peter Witkin exhibit at the Fahey Klein gallery on La Brea. (If you aren't familiar with his work, well you should be. Go here for a remedial course in his dark and fabulous depravity.)

His new stuff was stunning, of course: sepia-toned portraits and collages of amputees, dwarves, hermaphrodites, and horse boners. My favorite was the severed leg weathervane. We met up with fetish goddess and future icon Lenore Claire and her hot, straight, bald friend Michael Medaglia. Always good fun. Yes, yes.

It was an early affair, over by nine, which meant that we had HOURS to continue drinking. We ended up at Spotlight, never a wise choice, and played a three-and-a-half-hour game of pool. THREE AND A HALF HOURS. ONE GAME OF POOL. I spent some quality time with a boy whose first words to me were, "Is there any discharge coming out of my ear?" I kid you not. He was really hot. I think I'm in love. I remember having a VERY SOLOMN, VERY IMPORTANT, POSSIBLY TEARY conversation with Michael about oh my god, how totally totally cool octopusses are. "Oh I know." "Oh my god I know" "Octopusses ROCK, motherfucker."

I took a bunch of pictures in the early, FABULOUS part of the evening (otherwise known as "the shank"). Lots of cute boys, some fabulous art world characters, a few hipsters and two or three marginally cultish celebities. Look at them after the jump. Just don't expect me to remember who any of them are.

(Photo at top: Eva Posey, Joel Peter Witkin, Lenore Claire, Michael Medaglia)

The Debasement Tape

If you've heard of "happy slapping," you know it's the disquieting trend that began in the London garage-band scene last fall, spread to schools, and is now sweeping the UK and beyond like an STD. Kids run up to strangers, commando-style, and startle them with a slap in the face, a knock to the head, or a punch to the stomach. The accost is captured on a camera phone and the blurry images posted on the web. It's hilarious, though not to everyone's fancy. The British Transport police in London have investigated 200 happy slapping incidents over the last six months. And there have been complaints in Melbourne.

Not to be left out of this latest, possibly ephemeral, craze from the land of the Beatles, we took cameras and ran amok in the WOW offices. Went slap happy. It's really problematic slapping friends and coworkers, even if you've always wanted to. Which is why those Brit kids attack strangers. Brilliant Ed Magana edited all the raw footage (and faces) together into a festive romp, with music. The music kinda takes the sting out. Watch the Clip.

Teaser

Colleges began looking to recruit this young basketball star at age 14. Now Mom has to keep her daughter's focus on the game and off the boys. She's just one of the kids on Sports Kids Moms & Dads, starting June 1 on Bravo. (Watch the trailer)

Snap! Cap

You know the hot springs scene is OVER when the Russian women start showing up. – john

The Price of Fame

Those two guys in Massachusetts? The ones who dug up buried treasure in a back yard? It's sad, but they've been arrested and charged with receiving stolen property, conspiracy, and accessory after the fact. The two men, Barry Billcliff and Timothy Crebase, claimed to have found 1,800 bank notes and bills dating between 1899 and 1928 while digging in the yard of the house Crebase rents. And they almost got away with it. But when the men talked about the windfall on TV this week, investigators became suspicious when they noticed details of their stories changing. (AP News)

The depth of the buried crate, for example, ranged from 9 inches to 2 feet. The men also gave conflicting reasons for digging in Crebase's yard. They told one reporter they were preparing to plant a tree. In other reports, they said they were trying to remove a small tree or dig up the roots of a shrub that was damaging the home's foundation. . . . Police Chief Joseph E. Solomon told ABC's "Good Morning America" that authorities might never have suspected anything had the men not sought publicity.

Sked Marks

So yesterday, when we got home from Blogville, we fed and walked the dog, made a little something to eat, and turned on Fox at 8 to see if Marissa and Ryan were going to show or instill any interest at all this week, only to find instead the doings of Texans Hank and Peggy Hill. We checked our local listings (as we're often asked to do) and nope, no mention of the Hills replacing the Coopers and Cohens. NBC, which was supposed to be airing Sweet Home Alabama as its first slice into the the May sweeps cake, was instead showing The Fast and the Furious (we think, anyway, not having ever seen it; we kept watching long enough to figure Reese Witherspoon wasn't going to show up).

"WTF?" we asked the dog, who was chewing on his bully stick, oblivious. Had there been a terrorist attack or something pre-empting and subsequently throwing programming out of whack? What else could explain Thursday without Seth and Summer? Turns out it was Bush. This morning we read that, apparently, he'd felt an urgent need to give a non-emergency press conference last night at 8:00 EDT, rendering everyone's remote control useless. Why? Because he can. And he had given the networks less than 24 hours to figure out how to handle it. (Variety, sub req)

Hastily shuffled skeds resulted in some interesting Nielsen showdowns and will continue to reverberate throughout the sweeps. For the first time, Mark Burnett's "Survivor" was slated to go head-to-head against a full episode of Burnett's NBC skein, "The Apprentice," at 9 p.m. on the East Coast, so it will be interesting to see how viewers split their loyalties. At 10 p.m., CBS' "CSI" was set to take on NBC's "ER," pitting the Peacock's warhorse against the Eye's still-mighty monster hit. Viewers on the West Coast were set to see a more normal primetime sked, with an hour of repeats at 8 or 10 p.m., depending on the network.

Whatever. The West Coast, responsible for most of what goes on TV, always gets screwed.

Sitings

• Li'l Brudder, the brave one-legged dog from homestarrunner.
• On the eve of the release of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, here's a hitchhiker's guide to not quite that far.

Famous Feces

The site is called Celebrity Skin and Bodily Fluids, and it sells poop, urine, bacteria, and skin cells harvested mostly by the personal assistants of a nice cross-section of famous people, from Debbie Reynolds to Sarah Vowell, Don Rickles to Conor Oberst, Matt Groening to Mike Tyson, Norman Mailer to Flea, Chris Matthews to Data from The Goonies. Unfortunately, if you're hoping for a slice of poop from either Tom Green or Luke Perry, you're out of luck 'cause they're out of stock. But there are plenty of Sarah Jessica Parker's skin cells available (which surprises us, actually).

Where do you get your samples from?
We obtain the vast majority of our specimens from an extensive network of trustworthy suppliers, who in their dealings with entertainment and hospitality services, come into contact with celebrities on a day-to-day basis. On occasion we purchase quality specimens from private sellers. Regardless of where the specimens come from, we make certain that all specimens obtained go through the same rigorous testing process (see question 2).

How do you/I know these specimens are from the listed celebrity?
All our specimens are tested by experienced body-fluid identification technicians at the Allamas Biological Research Facility in Greeley Colorado and cross-referenced hospital birth records and blood analysis from the Red Cross. As a last resort, we will attempt to verify our specimens by comparing our test results to various body-fluid tests conducted during periods of the individual’s incarceration, if available. Each specimen comes with a certificate of authenticity. We ensure our customers will receive a quality product.

Strange Bedfellows

Here's a blog we stumbled onto mid-search for something else. It's the I Fucked Ann Coulter in the Ass, Hard blog, and that's pretty much its only focus. It appears to be a new launch, and is but a few days old. Posted by Bachem Macuno, it begins thusly:

The Farmer’s Market on Fairfax and 3rd is a Los Angeles landmark, attracting tourists and everyday Angelinos alike, as well as many famous faces. Among the celebrities I have seen there are Muhammad Ali, Terri Garr, Tyra Banks, Laura Linney, Keenan Ivory Wayans, the guitarist for The Cult, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, and Weird Al Yankovic.

But Ann Coulter is the only celebrity I’ve ever spotted at Farmer’s Market that I wound up fucking in the ass, hard.

We want like crazy to believe it's a memoir. If you don't know who Ann Coulter is, she'll tell you herself.

From the Desk of the JG

I'm feeling a little down today and I'll tell you why. It's not that Constantine was voted off American Idol last night. Though that didn't help. It's not that Lost was a repeat. That clip show was much needed. And it's not because when I walked in the door this morning I was literally slapped silly by James. Because frankly, I think I deserved it.

It's because last night I went to Rudy's Barbershop and got a fresh new haircut. And only one person in the office has noticed so far. My dear friend Mary Ann. Bless her heart.

This bothers me because I always make it a point to comment when someone gets a new do. Even if I don't like it, I smile and say it looks good. It's just the way I was raised. But the point of this isn't to talk about how polite and well mannered I am. That's a whole other posting.

I'm just saying. It's common courtesy. When someone gets a haircut, you acknowledge it. You say something. It's like a sneeze. Or when your friend starts dating someone new. You just grin and say, "looks good" or "God bless you" or "yeah, she seems...nice." Even if she's super ugly. Regardless of what you think. Or how bad your teeth hurt from grinding together. You just do it.

So my friends at WOW you've dropped the ball. You've made me feel unloved and unnoticed. I hope you're proud of yourselves.

– Jim Galasso

Hard Cel

Remember back in February when Bugs (on the left) was being made over by Warner Bros into Bugz (on the right) and moved into the year 2705? An 11-year-old fifth-grader in Tulsa was so upset that he took the matter into his own hands – and 80,000 others. A petition he started at school grew into an internet groundswell and Warner Bros listened. A spokesman has said that those early drawings of a darkly revamped Bugs & Co (including Daffy, Wile E, and Road Runner) have been softened and are now less menacing. (CNN.com)

Snap! Cap

Having used their clothing for H,E, and L, the castaways' plan fell to pieces when it came time to produce the letter P. – Mr. Wiggles

Go Bo

We were right. This fresh information from the Smoking Gun, that Bo Bice nee Harold Bice Jr was arrested in Huntsville, Alabama, for a Class C felony cocaine possession back in 2001, then arrested again in 2003, in Birmingham, for public intoxication and possession of weed and drug paraphernalia, just underlines why he should win the television singing contest, doesn't it? He's got the makings. Um, but we don't actually care.

Idol Thoughts

CONSTANTINE! CONSTANTINE! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! It's too horrible! Look at my face-- a frozen mask of terror! My hands are shaking, my mind is reeling... OMG – What if Scott "tiny-hands" Sobel ACTUALLY WINS? What if that piggy-eyed monster baby stays in the running, and through some weird default actually pulls off a victory? Like when Judy Holliday won the Oscar in 1950 because Gloria Swanson and Bette Davis cancelled each other out? It could happen! If these people have their way, we'll be stuck with that wife-beating Phil Collins wannabe FOREVER. We'll be forced to see him on every red carpet, at every premiere, on every ACCESS/EXTRA/INSIDER... OMG! What if he starts dating Katie Holmes? Weirder things have happened. What if he makes a sex tape with Paris Hilton? What if he is named baby Cheeto's godfather? What if he gets a hit reality show where he becomes engaged to Flava Flav? I'm telling you, IT COULD HAPPEN.

PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF CORN, PEOPLE, WE NEED TO STOP THIS MADNESS. Vote for Anthony Federov! It's the only solution! Vote early and vote often. The very fabric of reality is threatened otherwise.

– James St. James

[Ed note: Please, we beg you to vote for Bo. It's the way to go. Oh wait, we forgot: We don't care. But if we did. . .]

What's New on IDT?

A movie theater in Florida that shows Inside Deep Throat for dinner finds that audiences say the dardest things. We find that a movie website in Gemany says things about IDT in German, darn it. And producer Brian Grazer is switching topics, from blowjobs to rap tats. Plus, where the dickens is IDT playing now? (Go to IDT for more)

Armament Ornament

Yes, it's a three-inch-long facsimile of a 12-week-old human fetus holding a tiny rifle and other miniature military paraphernalia inside a plastic globe, hanging beneath the empathetic/patriotic yellow ribbon cluster. It costs $15 and comes in both "white" and "brown" models. MissPoppy says, "If only a womb were this safe, attractive and reasonably priced!" (See also Fetal Attractions)

Y'think?

Katie Holmes' PR firm, Baker Winokur Ryder, and Tom Cruise's publicist slash sister, Lee Anne DeVette, have both confirmed that the two actors are dating. Which is a rare occurrence, getting confirmation from all concerned. It's like a PR merger-conspiracy. But maybe they are dating. "Dating" doesn't have to mean. . . . Maybe Holmes needed a break from all that sex with Chris Klein. We're just saying. (AP via Newsday)

(More at PageSixSixSix)

Night Court

Randy wants to know if you think this is the best or worst season of American Idol. He argues both sides of the case.

The prosecution
• Last night's version of the Bee Gee's "Emotions"
• Scott the wife-beater
• Paula's inability to speak

The defense
• Anthony Fedorov singing "Climb Every Mountain" AND Celine Dion – hello
• Bo
• Paula's inability to speak

You be the judge.

Sitings

• If this is legit, and it may be, then it's not only really funny, but also deeply sad. (t/y Ben)
• When was the last time you checked in with Zach Braff on his Garden State blog? He's just so darn pleasant.
• A Star Wars geek here at WOW gets semi wood talking about Serenity. The movie, not the AA prayer or the incontinence pads.

Homos on the Range, but Not at Cannes

Ang Lee's much-anticipated (by homos the world over at least) Brokeback Mountain, about gay cowboys in the form of Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger, was denied entry into competition at Cannes this year, despite a spate of indie films (Jarmusch, Wenders, Von Trier, Van Sant) vying in that category, reports Dark Horizons. Ang Lee has never been welcome at Cannes.

Why the project didn't measure up at Cannes remains unknown, though the trades reported two weeks earlier that "Brokeback Mountain" was "looking wobbly for Competition," and confided that the film reportedly "underwhelmed the selection committee." This comes at odds with other recent reports that many studio executives were "moved to tears" at a recent screening of it. "It's a great American love story," says a source to the paper who confirmed it is unabashed about the gay relationship that is central to the film and there are sex scenes. Whether the famous Heath Ledger skinny dipping photos that surfaced last year were part of the film is unsure though they won't be in the movie's final edit.

Snap!

It's only (in) a movie.

The Ballad of Od and Hilda

We imagine this sort of thing happens all the time in Thailand. Ever been there? Whew. OK, so it seems a circus dwarf named Od was doing his act on the trampoline when . . . . Well, here, let Popbitch tell you:

The circus dwarf, Od, was in mid-act, bouncing on a trampoline, when he accidentally jumped sideways. . . and straight into the mouth of Hilda the hippopotamus, who was yawning on the sidelines, waiting for her act to get underway. Hilda's gag reflex took over. . . and Od was swallowed whole. The 1000 spectators in the audience applauded wildly. . . until they realised what they were watching wasn't part of any act.

Better Than Eating Poop

This is a bully stick. If you're a dog owner, you know what it is. If you're not, you don't. So we'll tell you. It's a bull's penis. A dried bull's penis. They measure about 24 inches usually, though they can be divvied up and sold in 6-inch lengths. You won't want to divvy at home; the penises are so hard they're almost impossible to bend, never mind break. Jealous? Dogs love 'em because they're stinky and chewy and last forever. Did we mention stinky? Jeez. Connie and George of Showdog Moms & Dads fame (episode 5 airs tonight at 10 on Bravo) apparently don't mind the odor.

Wart's Going On?

We've resisted this for days, but the story won't go away. Toads are exploding in Germany and no one knows why. They swell to three times their size and then burst, propelling their entrails up to three and half feet into the air. Thousands of them. In a matter of days. In a pond. In Hamburg. Scientists are stymied. "I have never seen such a thing," says a veterinarian close to the scene. (BBC News)

Recently Dead

Commercial architect Helen Liu Fong, responsible for some of Los Angeles' iconic coffee shop interiors, has died of cancer in Glendora. She was 78. The Los Angeles Chinatown-born, UC Berkeley graduate joined the firm of Louis Armet and Eldon Davis in 1951, when the architects were beginning to show post-WWII optimism in their designs. (LA Times)

As a leading practitioner of the Googie style, named after an eye-catching West Hollywood cafe designed by modernist architect John Lautner in 1949, Fong helped make upswept roofs, boomerang angles and attention-grabbing neon beacons emblems of an era. Among her major contributions were Johnie's coffee shop at Wilshire Boulevard and Fairfax Avenue, the Holiday Bowl on Crenshaw Boulevard, Pann's coffee shop near Westchester and the first Norms restaurant, on Figueroa Street. Of these, Pann's, Johnie's and a small part of the Holiday Bowl are still standing.

(Photos: Left, original Norms; right, Pann's)

Postcard from Florida

Maurice Bonamigo, arguably the star of WOW's award-winning documentary, Gay Republicans, has dispatched a report from the Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival.

I began my journey to the Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival on Friday, April 22, by checking in at the Abbey Hotel in Miami Beach, where the film festival was kind enough to host me. It's a very charming boutique hotel located in the Art Deco section, and I would recommend it to everyone wishing to visit.

This was the opening night for the film festival, with a screening of a highly acclaimed film with Miss Bea Arthur serving as the Diva of Ceremonies, followed by a Gala Premiere Party. The film was The Dying Gaul, directed by Craig Lucas. Interesting film and enjoyable. However, out of a rating of 3 stars it was given only 1 1/2 by the Miami Herald, which I would agree. My personal thoughts were that they could have picked a much better film for the premiere, plus I simply could not figure out why everyone was raving over a film that at best you will find on "Gay TV." One other thing that drives me ape is when all these film intellectuals start with their Dialogue over what each character was to represent and what their thoughts were in terms of how the characters interacted. Christ! Whatever, it was a mediocre film at best, who cares.

I hate the word "diva." I think it is well overused, especially for Bea Arthur. Her performance lasted about 1/2 hour and was rather boring considering she can be a rather funny actress when she wants to be. I find it to be dull when a woman her age tries to be hip by talking about body parts and Gay Marriage when it really isn't pertaining to anything relevant to the festival. I suppose being in her eighties she is getting tired and has nothing else to offer.

In Palm Beach or Chicago, whenever one receives an invitation for a "Gala" and you pay to attend one of these functions, one assumes it will be Black Tie, right? Wrong. I was the only one to wear a tux ( double-breasted Brioni and White tie). That would be considered standard in Palm Beach and, after all, I am representing World of Wonder. I guess it is acceptable to wear jeans, open shirts, tight shirts, untucked shirts, and flip-flops. That's a first for me, but that's also a new one for casual dress. Leave it to a bunch of Gays and Lesbians to try to be cool. Other than that, the party was very well done. It was held above the Bank of America Skylobby. Lots of wonderful food and open bar all evening. I am not sure how many more functions my liver can take this year. My hats go off to the hosts for throwing a fabulous party.

Saturday, April 23, at 5 PM, was the screening of our acclaimed documentary Gay Republicans. The Miami Herald awarded us 3 stars which was the highest for a documentary. I am pleased to say that the film was a sellout to a packed audience. My host, Carol Coombes, introduced me and asked me to explain the film to the audience. We would answer any questions following the screening.

During the film, there were lots of shouts, comments, and boos. So uncivilized – unlike LA – but the audience was full of Gays and Lesbians from South Florida, remember. When the film finished, I was reintroduced, and there was name-calling, like "sicko" and "psycho," plus a few other mumblings. The questions were pretty much about politics and we had to remind everyone that we were there to discuss the film. Aside from the political view, people thought the film was well created. Numerous people came up to me after the film to thank me for coming, representing, and for being so brave to face the Liberal Wolves. All in all, it was a great deal of fun and I did meet a lot of wonderful people despite all the degenerates who were present.

I want to thank all my Great Friends at World of Wonder for allowing me to represent Gay Republicans. I do enjoy working the crowd at these functions (such a politician) and I am proud to be a part for your family.

Until the next film festival, I remain sincerely yours,

Maurice Bonamigo

(Photo: Maurice Bonamigo, Carol Coombes, and her girlfriend Raquel)

Let Your Words Go to Waist

Forget texting. Put your message right where people are looking. The scrolling belt buckle is the new communicator. (Most effective when employing the "Tallahassee Tuck.")

Snap! Cap

[Whispered] "We've replaced these buffaloes' regular grazing pasture with a green clay tennis court. Lets see if they notice." – lizzyjit

Of Interest

John Stossel and Harry Reems. Well, what about them?

A Program Note

Fellow blogger David Hauslaib has just sent this bulletin:

Tune in TODAY (WED., APRIL 27) between NOON AND 1PM EST and catch me, DAVID HAUSLAIB of JOSSIP.com, on CONNECTED: COAST TO COAST with RON REAGAN and MONICA CROWLEY.

We'll be tearing apart the AMERICAN IDOL SCANDAL, from the ABC expose airing next month about PAULA ABDUL's alleged affair with contestant COREY CLARK and her alleged drug use to SCOTT SAVOL's criminal record (and the hypocrisy behind it) and the myriad (again, "alleged") in-the-closet contestants including ANWAR ROBINSON, ANTHONY FEDEROV and MARIO VASQUEZ and the pressure to maintain a stage image.

Idol Worship

Drudge reports today that Fox is on the verge of suing ABC over its behind-the-scenes exposé of Fox's American Idol, which ABC plans to air next Wednesday as May sweeps begins. Included in the show are interviews with six or so Idol losers, and Fox boss Rupert Murdoch fears it won't be pretty. We hope not.

"We got all these ridiculous questions yesterday from an ABC producer," a top IDOL source tells the DRUDGE REPORT. "ABC can not beat us with programming, so they are attempting to bring us down with lies and false charges." At the center of the questions, the IDOL source claims, are the actions of show judge Paula Abdul. "[ABC] is trying to say Paula somehow cheats and picks favorite singers to nurture, in violation of some sort of network standards," the IDOL source, who demanded anonymity, explains.

Meanwhile, according to an LA Times story today, Fox is investigating allegations that Abdul had a romance with a contestant during the show's second season. Corey Clark, a semifinalist on the show, is claiming in a book that Abdul offered him money and asked him to keep their affair secret. Which adds delicious flavoring to what Simon Cowell told Extra yesterday: "Paula, to be fair to her, will spend more time backstage with the contestants giving encouragement and everything else."

(Photos: Abdul, Clark)

Stop the Presses

OK, forget about Daniel Craig (right) playing OO7 in the next Bond film, Casino Royale. They've decided to go with the old guy again. To baby boomers, Pierce Brosnan, at 51, still has the blush of youth about him. (This Is London)

Sitings

• Guess the Google. Google shows you images, you guess the subject that was searched for.
• How to start a fire with just a can of Coke and a bar of chocolate. Of course, if that's all you have, what do you need to cook? (blogdex)

Snap! Cap

Megan Hutton, Southern Sting goalkeeper, sustains a disjointed knee during a game against the Otago Rebels. Needs caption.

You put your left leg in, you put your left leg out, you put your left leg in and you shake it a- OWOWWMUTHAFUCK!!!!

EXTREME HOKEY POKEY CLAIMS YET ANOTHER VICTIM – madmojo

Of Interest

Alfred E Newman and Ted Koppel. Well, what about them?

Hoff Makes Our Day

Yesterday evening, some of the WOW staffers and I headed over to Coldstone for some free ice cream cake. We were all, understandably, very excited. What could be better than free ice cream cake?

As we turned the corner and saw a crowd of people in front of the store, it took us a split second to realize we were about to experience the only thing that could be better than free ice cream cake: free ice cream cake and David Hasselhoff greeting the people in line for free ice cream cake. Yes, the Baywatch legend and singer extraordinare himself was signing autographs in front of the Coldstone Ice Creamery at Hollywood and Highland last night. As he chatted with the people in front of us – "My last album Sings America did well and I'm headed back to Germany now; those German kids, they like the rock music so I'm cutting a rock album next" – I noticed a) he's really tall and b) his skin looks tanned and healthy, not leather-like as I would have imagined.

Anyway, he graciously signed autographs for all of us when it was our turn and even had an assortment of photos for us to choose from. I opted for the iconic red shorts while everyone else seemed to prefer the classic B&W head shot. The whole interaction lasted about 10 seconds but we left very content with our slices of cake and autographed photos.

– Nicole Tiesma

Having an Episode

Let the Wookie mania begin! According to the new issue of Entertainment Weekly, when Yoda visits the Wookie world of Kashyyk, there is a battle between droids and Wookie warriors. Yes, Chewbacca’s back, as well a seven of his friends: Tarrful, Eugroothwa, Grakchawwaa, Guanta, Merumeru, Lachichuk, and Salporin (computer animation later multiplies these eight into the army of thousands). Here for the first time are their headshots to drool over (courtesy of EW). Personally, I’d do Eugroothwa, although Chewy is obviously still the cocky heartthrob of the bunch. He's all sk8er punk and shit.

– James St. James

We're Taking Out a Loan This Afternoon

So much better – and cheaper – than a grilled cheese sandwich, and surprisingly legal, is what eBay is putting up for auction now: this handsome 21-year-old hunk. Starting bid is $35,000 for Kory from Morehead, Kentucky, who just wants a new start in a new place. Little Kory comes with all the fixings too, which alone are worth the starting bid: big-screen TV, laptop, SUV, truck, and more. He's just bored, and his parents "don't need" him anymore. (via Towleroad)

I will work for anyone doing anything.  Just get me out of this place.  I am very talented.  I have lots of debt that needs paid off, and staying here isnt gonna pay it.  I have a 2000 Explorer and a 1997 F-350.  Tell me what you want me to bring and the other one i will leave.  I can bring both but will cost $500 extra for car hauler.

JUST SO PEOPLE KNOW.  THIS IS REAL.   I AM JUST LOOKING FOR A NEW START IN A NEW TOWN, SOMEWHERE TO OPEN MY OWN BUSINESS ONE DAY. This is for ONE year.  And if things go well maybe longer.

It appears he might have gone to high school in Smallville

The Skinny on Boyle

It's interesting that A Socialite's Life has this story on Lara Flynn Boyle shooting the pilot for an Aaron Spelling TV series called Crazy, because virtually the entire thing was shot in the WOW building. The production took over not only the second floor, but the elevator, which was redone to be prettier in a temporary and claustrophobic sort of way that didn't look so good up close. Our parking lot was littered with trailers and tents and barbecue pits, forcing us to park far away. Every morning, entering the building, we had to walk past the craft services tables filled with treats that were off limits to us. But after weeks, we got attached to the routine and the Crazy crew and, frankly, now miss the activity. That A Socialite's Life found anything at all to write about Boyle is amazing since the chain-smoking star kept a low profile and seemed put out the few times she was spotted, as if there were a bad smell in the air.

Stroke of Genius

This Indiana woman, Tiffany Roberts, suffered a stroke a year and a half ago and when she regained the ability to speak she did so with an English accent. A mix of Cockney and West Country, to be exact. She had never been to the UK. What she had was foreign accent syndrome. No, really. It's rare. But James is convinced that it might explain Madonna's sudden Brit clip even before she moved to London. And we're thinking a stroke might explain Madge's rather awful and continuing musical output that began around the same time. (BBC News)

That's Mr 3000 to You

Gwen Stefani briefly breezed in and out of The Aviator, Justin Timberlake will costar in another sequel to Die Hard, and now the Andre 3000 half of Outkast is set to star in, coproduce, and write the music for a movie musical that is being dreamed up as "hip and current" with some of that "golden age of the Hollywood musical" thrown in. Perhaps along the lines of a Moulin Noir. The movie is being developed by the production company behind Garden State, which is promising, and, um, Along Came Polly, which is not. Variety says 3000 will play a character with magical powers who enters the lives of a family, yo. (MTV)

One-Cent Post

It must be said and it must be said now. The very best song of all time at this moment is still "Crown of Love" from The Arcade Fire's Funeral album. No discussion.

Sitings

• In Traffic Control 2, you, um, control traffic. More fun than you'd think. Addicting. (via b3ta)
• Remember the man who likes to wear waders? The guy you couldn't look at, yet couldn't look away from either? He's back. And, hey, it's OK to call him Harold now.

Snap!

President Bush and Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince Abdullah at Bush's ranch in Crawford,Texas. Please caption.

Thought-bubble over George's head: "Oh, so this is normal where they come from? Wow, do I owe Saddam an apology." Thought-bubble over Abdullah's head: "This is gonna be one hell of a dowry." – Matt D

The St. James Version

BEHOLD! Here, at last, is my list of the 25 HOTTEST GUYS OF ALL TIME! IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD! GUARANTEED! I’ve toiled over this all weekend, adding and subtracting my love muffins like the fickle faggot I am. You might notice that a certain billionaire bad boy is conspicuously absent. That’s because I’m mad at him right now. He has to learn that he’s not the only boy to turn my head. I could just as easily give myself to any one of these other boys. So, without further ado, here they are:

• Chad Michael Murray - sure he’s hot, and he’s got THAT NOSE, but he and I connect on a purely intellectual level. It’s true!
• Jesse McCartney - because his hair can kick Ryan Cabrera’s hair’s ass
• Jake Ryan - if you were a young girl in the '80s, like I was, you don’t even have to ask why
• Justin Timberlake - a little old, a little grizzled, but still undeniably hot
• Jordi Chandler - he knows what’s up
• Prince Harry - finally a Prince Charming you can smoke crack with!
• Brandon Flowers from the KILLERS - pose-y popstar who just might be a sister
• Sandy from FLIPPER - he can play with my blow-hole anytime
• Andrew on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES - because bisexuals are hot, evil is always sexy, and because Jesse Meltcalf is 30 if he’s a day
• The New Guy in the WOW office - shhhhhhh
• Mario Vazquez - remember him?
• Macaulay Culkin - Oh, what? WHAT?
• Kieran Culkin- IgbyIgbyIgbyIgbyIgbyIgby! SQUUEEEEEEAL!
• Atrayu from NEVERENDING STORY - “Say my naaaaaamme, bitch!
• River Phoenix - hot dead prettyboy, without whom we’d never have Leo
• Adam Brody - I know - sooooooo 2004! I can’t help it!
• Matt Damon - because I will never forget the sight of him in that tangerine Speedo in THE TALENTED MR RIPLEY
• Dexter Fishpaw aka the Baltimore Footstomper from POLYESTER - still, after all these years, that glue-sniffing bad boy has my heart
• Aaron Carter - no really, we have a lot in common
• Jared Leto - because Jordan Cetalano was the Jake Ryan of the '90s, and because, old as he is, he still looks like my first crush, Speed Racer
• Orlando Bloom - I bumped Johnny Depp to put him up here, I hope he doesn’t make me regret it
• Gregory Smith - so tortured!
• Elijah (gives me) Wood
• Gael Garcia Bernal
• Billy Elliot - especially after he was molested by Russell Crowe. That was hot

(Photos from left: Chad Michael Murray, Michael Schoeffling aka Jake Ryan, Luke Halpin aka Sandy)

What's New on IDT?

A reviewer in Orlando, Florida, finds the documentary "deliriously entertaining." And somewhere in India a man visits a medical voice specialist and has things done to his throat that sound more sexual than any oral act by Miss Linda Lovelace. "I gag about till Dr Nayak finally retreats from my throat," he says, "having observed that I have 'posterior tongue tension.' " (Go there)

The Battle of Tammy Faye

Tammy Faye Messner judges no one lest she be judged, but she elected to be a celebrity judge last week at the "womanless beauty pageant" in the Lancaster (South Carolina) High School auditorium. Her participation in a drag contest is not so unexpected; the pageant benefited the American Cancer Society Relay for Life, and Tammy is a cancer survivor. Her battle is documented in WOW's Tammy Faye: Death Defying, airing in July on WE. Meanwhile, cross-dressers battled for her vote.

She didn't let the audience down. With her trademark black eyelashes and heavy pink lipstick, she had on as much makeup as the contestants -- and they were trying to cover five-o'clock shadows. . . . She loved the black leather mini and fishnet stockings worn by one and cheered for the contestant who advocated shopping, shopping, shopping. "You've got my vote," she said. (Herald Online)

In the end, she was touched by the men's willingness to wear a dress for charity. "You are awesome. I am so proud of you," she said, kissing the winner. "It takes a lot of guts to do what you did."

Apparently, the contestants were doing drag as a gag, not as a lifestyle. And we love "womanless beauty pageant."